029 Birth

[airelement]

Title: Counting on you 
Fandom: Final Fantasy X
Characters: Yuna, Valefor
Prompt: 029 Birth 
Word Count: 292
Rating: G
Summary: Yuna summons Valefor for the first time 
Table link: http://airelement.livejournal.com/11132.html

I take a deep breath, and try to subdue the fast pulse racing through my veins.  I’m walking on air, still on that floaty cloud

Comments

[wheatear]

Nice little snapshot. Isn't Valefor female? I wonder if Yuna might refer to the aeon as 'her' rather than 'it', because of the bond they have. Especially since in the last couple of lines you talk about friendship and trust, which suggests a more personal relationship.

I like the comparison to a newborn baby; that really seems to capture the instant bond well. The last line seems to trail off a bit; I think it would be stronger without 'that I can count on it' tacked on at the end.

Overall, good job. :)

[airelement]

I wasn't too sure if aeons have genders, but personally I always pictured Valefor as male. I have to agree, the last line isn't great, but it didn't seem complete without something at the end.