I already hate myself for doing this, but in an attempt to understand pop culture I am willing to go back and watch movies from the 80s that I missed, growing up without a television and not seeing movies and all ( Read more... )

When you "use the facilities" in a public restroom, like say...at work, do you stick around to make sure there are no skidmarks?

I'm thinking I need to do a "When in doubt, flush it out" PSA for the people I work with.

I know most of us had a terrible time last night, and I was just another one of the many. I didn’t leave work until after 6, hoping that would help. Instead of driving on main roads to get home, I choose to avoid traffic and take my usual, faster route on back roads ( Read more... )

3 carrots ( Read more... )

I just had a meeting w/ a banker from a local teachers' union. He was super cute, super professional, and had the hugest super zit on his forehead. It was all I could do to keep myself from crawling across the table, mounting him, and popping that damn thing.

Had to go to a company holiday party tonight. It was the usual "bleh." Thanks to Tuesday's accident, my headlights have stopped working, but the high beams still run, so that's how I drove there. Yes, I was that asshole on the interstate, and I'm sorry ( Read more... )

Yeah, me either ( Read more... )

Dear Target Cashier: I think the only person you’re trying to fool is yourself. Saying you just “needed to take your medicine” is fine, but we both know your “medicine” was five ibuprofen that you were hoping would cure your hang-over, and honestly, I’m not even sure you had reached that stage yet, because you still seemed pretty drunk to me. The ( Read more... )

At the Y yesterday I met with a trainer. I had to wait outside her office, where another Y employee was waiting as well. She looked to be about 18, and would be pretty except her face was all "mumpy." That's the best way I can describe it. I think a round of Accutane would clear it right up, but I digress. While we were waiting she looked at me and ( Read more... )

It’s 10:52 on a Thursday morning, and while I am at my desk typing this and getting work done (I am actually getting some work done) I am all too aware of the fact that one of my cats is currently kicking it in my car in the parking lot. My apartment is doing maintenance on all the units today, and requested all pets be put in the bathroom for the ( Read more... )