"erase my name, or write it as you will/ so i be written in the book of Love"

[aillychan]

My apologies for the length of this post. I cannot bring myself to cut this -- it is too important to me.

This is in response to a friend of a friend, whose journal I do not feel comfortable commenting on. This person, a young Mormon lady, read of the protests in California and Utah at temples this week, and felt hurt, shocked, and angered by

Comments

[__marcelo]

If there's a basic right, is the right to fight for whatever right you have, er, a right to [I might need to rephrase this at some point]. "What would you want it for?" is a not a valid question; it should be *your* choice to use it or not, not anybody else's.

Either she comes against heterosexual marriage too (what's the point, if people can still live together and fuck?), or she accepts same-sex marriages. Any other position is logically (not to say ethically) untenable.

[aillychan]

"What would you want it for?" is a not a valid question; it should be *your* choice to use it or not, not anybody else's.
Yes. Yes, this.

[siren_mage]

I, generally, use this young lady's arguments in FAVOR of equal rights to gay marriage. People talk about keeping marriage "sacred", speak on the perceived fact that allowing same-sex couple the right to marry somehow demeans the act. And yet, as she points out, people don't always get married for love. Straight couples are allowed to demean the act all the want by getting married on a drunken whim, manipulating each other into marriage, whatever. Celebrity marriages and divorces are looked on as major current events, often sensationalized and glorified. I joke about how my own personal American dream is to become a famous screenwriter, marry Shia Labeouf, and then divorce him because that's what it's come down to

[aillychan]

I, generally, use this young lady's arguments in FAVOR of equal rights to gay marriage.
IT IS SO FRUSTRATING. We have the same arguments. We have similar approaches. And yet she and I (and you and she) arrive at such vastly different places, and it is hard to trace the split.

There's no logic to it. Just hate.
Hate, and fearmongering, and the perpetration of ridiculous illogical arguments against it. (Next we'll have to marry our children to dogs!)

To go on a bit of a tangent, she also says "I don't think that it is fair that [Mormons] be singled out like this, but who said life was fair." Before I read her post, I had planned on making a post with a similar starting point -- there were so many political factors that went into approving Prop 8, to some degree it is quite unfair for the protests to center on LDS. But as Rachel Maddow said tonight, there was a $30 million campaign for Yes on Prop 8, and an estimated 40% of the personal donations for that came from Latter Day Saints. How many homeless families could that money

aforementioned comment 24

[anduhm_yeah]

I think comment #7 hits it on the head. Pain occurs all the time in (and out of) the church because of sin and incompliance with church teachings

Re: aforementioned comment 24

[aillychan]

For a moment, I was really confused and thought this was you "speaking" instead of quoting. And then I got to "I was in a homosexual relationship at BYU 13 years ago." and went OH OKAY. D'oh!

[forcedmovement]

God, this. I feel stupid replying to this entry without anything concrete to say, but you've said it all and knocked me speechless. Just. Yes. ♥

[aillychan]

I am equally speechless at seeing responses so quickly, so I know the feeling. ♥

[sayingwhatiam]

I will honestly never understand being so opposed to gay marriage. Even if it's what your religion says (like, once in the old testament or something, get the fuck over it). Because it is being opposed to love and I didn't even know that is possible. Love is beautiful and everyone should be able to express it and promise forever. How is the way I feel for Shay any different than the way my friend Lisa feels for her boyfriend (well, except for the fact that they're kind of not that stable, but WHATEVER)? Gay love isn't some weird freaky thing, it's exactly the same.

It's just so fucked up that this country is denying people rights. I thought we were past that, but...apparently not. And it makes me want to cry and scream and shake everyone who voted "no" and tell them to look me in the eyes and tell me I'm a second class citizen, that I don't deserve rights, and that who I love isn't good enough.

Keith Olbermann ♥

[aillychan]

Quoting morgandawn here, quoting makesmewannadie: "The civil rights of minorities have never been established through popular vote in the United States."
It is sad that it is still true. But the examples that she goes on to give do provide hope that some day, it will be worth it. Even if it does, god forbid, take 100 years, it will be worth it.

But for now, it still hurts.

--

Out of curiosity, where do you and Shay plan to marry? Ray and I have, uh, no plans (beyond her 5 years plan and my "no plans for 3 years" plan), but I believe you two are in the northeast? So a Massachusetts wedding would be more feasible? Or are you thinking of going the Canada route?

[sayingwhatiam]

We're probably getting married in Massachusetts, yeah, since that's where we want to live after college anyways. And because we're from Rhode Island and Connecticut, a state with no laws banning gay marriage and one with gay marriage, we can get married there easily. We're also thinking about Connecticut. It depends on locations of stuff, in the end, because we have silly specifications for our wedding (like, uh, getting married under/near a Cork Tree?).

[aillychan]

CORK TREE = ADORABLE.
(Haha, I thought I posted this like 2 days ago? Fail ailly is failly!)

[citibyrd]

But I also approach this statement from the other side: with so much destruction and war, so much hate and death, WHY do you deny ANYONE the right to openly declare their love and commitment?

Yes. That, exactly. When I see people toss around gay marriage as a "threat" to anything, I just...don't understand whatsoever. How is love ever a threat?? I hate so much that people feel this way when it has absolutely nothing to do with them.

♥

[aillychan]

To my understanding, people confuse "a threat to my worldview" with "a threat to my world", and rather than try to open up to understanding, they shut down and lash out. That reaction, I can at least see where people may come from. But people like this young woman, who attempt to approach from an open and loving place, and yet arrive somewhere so closed and filled with hate? I just cannot fathom it.

♥