thanks, twin bro. i feel like the worst of it is over. i wasn't really able to write about it until this point, so i guess that's progress. and my kids are surrounding me with so much life--there's no time to mope.
oh joe, i'm so sorry. i still only partly believe people are mortal and live in constant fear of having it brought so close to home. i love you. joe #2
thanks, joe. i know what you mean about not believing that people are mortal. i realized when hearing about mohan that this was my first experience of having a friend die. i never really thought about it happening before. i've experienced grandparents dying (but those were not surprises) and classmates dying (but no one who i was really close to), but nothing like this. and there was a moment when looking at g's grandma in the casket and watching g's mom freak out and say, 'that's not my mother, that looks nothing like her,' that i had a vision of my own mother in a casket... it was pretty awful. and i knew it was going to happen someday. or it'd be the reverse (my mom seeing me in a casket), and that would probably be worse. actually, i pretty much decided on the spot that when i die i don't want my body to be on display--i want to be cremated or donated to science, but definitely not on display for people to look at
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Wow, cuz, serious stuff. Lately I've had cause to think about physical frailty quite a bit, and there are always intimations of mortality around that business, but none of those people have actually died. Warm wishes for you and yours. As your thoughts settle, share them with us, won't you?
of course, cousin. if i realized anything from all this, it's that i need to put more energy into communication with people who i care about. i had already resolved to write more letters for the new year, and the whole month of january has seconded the importance of that.
that is, after i write all these goddamn letters of recommendation for my students. >sigh< why does everything at work always have to feel so urgent
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hey darlin. i'm feeling much better now. little sadnesses pop up here and there, but looking after the living keeps me so busy that there's not much time/energy left for obsessing over those who have passed. thank god for my kids. whenever i teach, i have to pull myself completely together for them, which forces me to be a stronger person in general. i'm really glad that i became a teacher. :-)
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we should talk soon...
miss you, twin sis.
luvpj
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we should definitely talk soon. maybe sunday.
xoxo
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Warm wishes for you and yours. As your thoughts settle, share them with us, won't you?
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that is, after i write all these goddamn letters of recommendation for my students. >sigh< why does everything at work always have to feel so urgent ( ... )
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how are you doing?
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