[fic] Poison - Yugioh, 'Atemu'xYugi, PG, serious, theme 075 (100_chances)
Theme: 075 - Poison; for 100_chances
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Genre: Serious
Rating: PG
Pairings: Possible future 'Atemu'/Yugi implied
Archive: Here
Warnings: AU, possible trigger for victims of abuse
Spoilers: None
Summary: Without Yugi there, he might not have had the strength to walk away. But Yugi was there, he had always been there, and he was the only thing left in the world that Atemu could trust.
Disclaimer: Yugioh is still not mine.
Note: This is the sequel to theme 049 - Fighters.
---
Kenji found him at Yugi’s house the day after the fight. To this day Atemu wasn’t sure how he had known where to look - darkly, he suspected it was because Kenji had always been jealous of Yugi. Yugi hadn’t wanted to let them talk, but Atemu had been foolish enough to tell him it was okay, to let him say his piece. The sting of the punches was still real in his memory; he’d assumed nothing could tug at his heartstrings, right up until Kenji met his eyes and pleaded, “I’m so sorry Atemu, please, give me another chance.”
His eyes were so full of pain and Atemu’s “no,” which he’d intended to sound tough, came out forced.
“Atemu, please, just listen. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”
“I said no.”
“I love you,” Kenji said and Atemu winced even now at the memory.
God, why does it hurt? After what he did to me, why the hell do I feel anything for him?
“You know I didn’t mean it,” he begged. “I was just scared, the idea of losing you made me freak out. I’ll never do it again. I’ll do anything to make it up to you, anything you want. I need you, Atemu. I’m not going home without you. I love you and I know you love me. We belong together. You can’t just give up on us.”
Atemu had to break eye contact. “Go home,” he managed to choke.
“Not without you. You’re all that makes my life worth it. I can’t live without you.” His voice went softer, weaker. “Atemu, it’ll kill me to lose you. I won’t make it. If you don’t come home I won’t survive this-”
Atemu drew in a sharp breath. “Stop,” he whispered, lifting his head and stepping forward. “Kenji, don’t…”
His lover’s voice cracked. “I love you, I need you-”
“Don’t-” Atemu managed to stop himself from moving then, but he hadn’t been able to stop his tears. Stupid, betraying tears.
“You’ll kill me if you don’t come home.”
Oh God…no, Kenji, no-
He hadn’t been aware of moving until Yugi caught his arm and stopped him. Dimly he heard Yugi shouting, in a tone he’d never heard from his friend before.
“Never come near my house or Atemu again, or I swear you’ll regret it-"
Somewhere in there Atemu’s knees gave out in emotional exhaustion. The next thing he remembered was Yugi kneeling in front of him.
“I have to go,” Atemu said to him, trying to stand. Yugi shook his head.
“No, you don’t.”
“I have to go back to him, he needs me, he said…”
“Don’t go back to him, remember what he did to you.”
Atemu was trying to remember, but it wasn’t as easy as remembering the hurt in his lover’s eyes and the thought that he was responsible for putting that hurt there. “But he didn’t mean to, he didn’t want to-”
“He’s just saying that to control you.”
“But what if he- what if…”
Yugi closed his hands gently over Atemu’s wrists, his grip firm, but gentle enough that Atemu knew he could pull away. “Atemu, he’s messing with your head. He won’t.”
“How do you know?”
“I know.” Slowly, carefully, Yugi pulled him to his chest and embraced him. “Don’t go back. He doesn’t deserve you.”
Atemu wanted to pull away anyway. He almost did. If he went back he could just imagine it: they would cry and hold each other and apologize and everything would be okay. This would merely be a small bump on their path, because love could survive anything.
It was a perfect thought.
Someplace, deep down, he knew it would only ever be a thought. It wasn’t going to end happily. He had given his heart and body to a man who returned them both broken and bruised, and going back would just be giving him permission to poison him further. He knew it, but he wasn’t quite strong enough yet to admit it, so he just said, “Don’t let go of me yet.”
Yugi hadn’t.
X - X - X
Notes: Theme 075. Seventy-five! I'm officially 3/4 of the way through this challenge. Oh man, what am I going to write when it's over? (Maybe I'll start a new challenge. xD Although I recall there was some interest in expanding Paranoia into a full length fic.)
I stand by what I said in the notes of 049. Victims are not to be blamed or categorized and are certainly not inherently weak; abusers are very good at getting into people's heads and manipulating them.
I wish I had a better fic for the 3/4 mark. I kind of like this one, but it feels like it fell a little flat. I knew what story I wanted to tell, but it just didn't translate to paper as well as I'd hoped. I've been feeling very critical of a lot of the recent themes in this. I really am excited for some of the future ones, though, so I suspect I just hit a rough patch in here.
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Genre: Serious
Rating: PG
Pairings: Possible future 'Atemu'/Yugi implied
Archive: Here
Warnings: AU, possible trigger for victims of abuse
Spoilers: None
Summary: Without Yugi there, he might not have had the strength to walk away. But Yugi was there, he had always been there, and he was the only thing left in the world that Atemu could trust.
Disclaimer: Yugioh is still not mine.
Note: This is the sequel to theme 049 - Fighters.
---
Kenji found him at Yugi’s house the day after the fight. To this day Atemu wasn’t sure how he had known where to look - darkly, he suspected it was because Kenji had always been jealous of Yugi. Yugi hadn’t wanted to let them talk, but Atemu had been foolish enough to tell him it was okay, to let him say his piece. The sting of the punches was still real in his memory; he’d assumed nothing could tug at his heartstrings, right up until Kenji met his eyes and pleaded, “I’m so sorry Atemu, please, give me another chance.”
His eyes were so full of pain and Atemu’s “no,” which he’d intended to sound tough, came out forced.
“Atemu, please, just listen. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”
“I said no.”
“I love you,” Kenji said and Atemu winced even now at the memory.
God, why does it hurt? After what he did to me, why the hell do I feel anything for him?
“You know I didn’t mean it,” he begged. “I was just scared, the idea of losing you made me freak out. I’ll never do it again. I’ll do anything to make it up to you, anything you want. I need you, Atemu. I’m not going home without you. I love you and I know you love me. We belong together. You can’t just give up on us.”
Atemu had to break eye contact. “Go home,” he managed to choke.
“Not without you. You’re all that makes my life worth it. I can’t live without you.” His voice went softer, weaker. “Atemu, it’ll kill me to lose you. I won’t make it. If you don’t come home I won’t survive this-”
Atemu drew in a sharp breath. “Stop,” he whispered, lifting his head and stepping forward. “Kenji, don’t…”
His lover’s voice cracked. “I love you, I need you-”
“Don’t-” Atemu managed to stop himself from moving then, but he hadn’t been able to stop his tears. Stupid, betraying tears.
“You’ll kill me if you don’t come home.”
Oh God…no, Kenji, no-
He hadn’t been aware of moving until Yugi caught his arm and stopped him. Dimly he heard Yugi shouting, in a tone he’d never heard from his friend before.
“Never come near my house or Atemu again, or I swear you’ll regret it-"
Somewhere in there Atemu’s knees gave out in emotional exhaustion. The next thing he remembered was Yugi kneeling in front of him.
“I have to go,” Atemu said to him, trying to stand. Yugi shook his head.
“No, you don’t.”
“I have to go back to him, he needs me, he said…”
“Don’t go back to him, remember what he did to you.”
Atemu was trying to remember, but it wasn’t as easy as remembering the hurt in his lover’s eyes and the thought that he was responsible for putting that hurt there. “But he didn’t mean to, he didn’t want to-”
“He’s just saying that to control you.”
“But what if he- what if…”
Yugi closed his hands gently over Atemu’s wrists, his grip firm, but gentle enough that Atemu knew he could pull away. “Atemu, he’s messing with your head. He won’t.”
“How do you know?”
“I know.” Slowly, carefully, Yugi pulled him to his chest and embraced him. “Don’t go back. He doesn’t deserve you.”
Atemu wanted to pull away anyway. He almost did. If he went back he could just imagine it: they would cry and hold each other and apologize and everything would be okay. This would merely be a small bump on their path, because love could survive anything.
It was a perfect thought.
Someplace, deep down, he knew it would only ever be a thought. It wasn’t going to end happily. He had given his heart and body to a man who returned them both broken and bruised, and going back would just be giving him permission to poison him further. He knew it, but he wasn’t quite strong enough yet to admit it, so he just said, “Don’t let go of me yet.”
Yugi hadn’t.
X - X - X
Notes: Theme 075. Seventy-five! I'm officially 3/4 of the way through this challenge. Oh man, what am I going to write when it's over? (Maybe I'll start a new challenge. xD Although I recall there was some interest in expanding Paranoia into a full length fic.)
I stand by what I said in the notes of 049. Victims are not to be blamed or categorized and are certainly not inherently weak; abusers are very good at getting into people's heads and manipulating them.
I wish I had a better fic for the 3/4 mark. I kind of like this one, but it feels like it fell a little flat. I knew what story I wanted to tell, but it just didn't translate to paper as well as I'd hoped. I've been feeling very critical of a lot of the recent themes in this. I really am excited for some of the future ones, though, so I suspect I just hit a rough patch in here.