[fic] Facade - Yugioh, YYxY, angst, G, theme 016 (100_chances)
Theme: 016- Facade; for 100_chances
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Rating: G
Genre: Angst
Pairings: YamixYugi
Archive: You're lookin' at it
Warnings: None.
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Despite it being what he wanted, he knew it wasn't right.
Disclaimer: Hi. Yugioh still doesn't belong to me.
Note: This is a sequel to theme 014: If we never meet again.
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Atemu trailed silently behind the chattering group of his friends, an unseen ghost gliding over the pavement. In front of him, he could hear Honda making a joke about Jounouchi and laughter in return - along with an indignant outburst from the subject of the joke. And in the midst of them Atemu could see Yugi, chuckling with them. He frowned slightly, wondering if they honestly believed that laughing person was the true Yugi Mutou.
Because that was not the same person Atemu had sat beside last night. Today Yugi looked perfectly happy, no sign of tears, no hint of pain. His friends hadn’t seen what Atemu had seen, had no way of knowing it was all an act…
They rounded a corner and Jounouchi bounded ahead. Atemu recognized the building in front of them as Jounouchi’s apartment. His father must not be home, he thought. Otherwise Jounouchi wouldn’t be inviting them over.
The thoughts didn’t keep him occupied for long. However hard he tried to distract himself, he always returned to focus on Yugi. Inside the apartment, Yugi settled himself on the couch and Atemu sat down beside him. He glanced over and resisted the urge to try calling Yugi’s name for the hundredth time. He had tried all day, hoping for a reaction, but never got one. So he settled for scooting closer, pretending as if Yugi did know he was there, pretending that at any moment Yugi would turn and wrap his arms around him and he could hold him the way he used to. Unconsciously, Atemu leaned in and his ghostly body brushed through Yugi's shoulder. Yugi shivered and jumped up, raising one hand to his shoulder uncomfortably.
“Something wrong, Yugi?” Honda asked.
“No…there was just a sudden cold draft.”
Atemu felt a sudden sharp pressure; an almost sick feeling as he realized: He doesn’t even want me near him.
“Crappy apartment, crappy ventilation, what can you do?” Jounouchi asked, bringing in a set of mis-matched mugs with teabags. “Anzu said the water will be ready in a minute.”
“I’m not sure it’s the ventilation,” Yugi said hesitantly. “I’ve been feeling weird cold flashes all day. And last night too.”
“Maybe you’re being haunted,” Honda suggested. Jounouchi waved frantically at him from behind Yugi’s back, but it was too late.
And Atemu, having not taken his eyes off Yugi for a second, saw the façade crumble. For an instant, Yugi’s face twisted. He struggled to hide it before anybody noticed, but there was still a sliver of the raw pain in his eyes that he couldn’t vanquish, and Honda realized what - and who - he’d inadvertently brought up.
“Or maybe you’re just catching a cold,” he said, trying to cover his mistake. “You know, some people get cold flashes before they get sick…”
“Yeah,” Yugi said faintly. “That’s probably it.” Still, he glanced back at the couch, his eyes staring straight through Atemu and past him.
There was a whistle in the kitchen. Honda dashed to help Anzu with the tea. Jounouchi immediately found something to look at in the opposite corner, and Yugi, grateful for the moment of privacy, sighed and flopped back down on the couch. He glanced to the side, and then slowly reached out. While the air still felt chilled, the cold draft was gone.
“…Silly,” he muttered under his breath. “He’s not there.”
I’m here, Atemu answered him, now standing beside the couch where Yugi couldn’t reach. But…I shouldn’t be, should I?
“You most certainly should not!” A new voice interrupted his thoughts, making him jump and turn to see Mahaado, a ghostly figure the same as himself, looking appropriately authoritative in his royal robes and standing there with his arms folded.
“Mahaado,” he said, somewhat guiltily.
“You told us you only wanted to see him again. It has been hours.”
“I’m sorry, I…” Atemu glanced over his shoulder. Yugi was still staring at the place on the couch with a mix of disappointment and sad acceptance.
“Atemu, we warned you about this,” Mahaado said, pulling his attention back to him. “We told you not to let yourself get attached. You promised us you would return!”
“I know, but I…”
“So now you go back on your word? That is how little your family and friends mean to you?”
Atemu recoiled, stung. “Mahaado…why would you say that? You know I care for you all.”
Mahaado’s expression gentled. “I know. But I also know how strong your attachment to Yugi is, and if you do not let him go, you will become a wandering spirit. Do you understand? We do not want to see you lose yourself that way. And I will say whatever I have to to save you.”
He knew arguing would be pointless, but the excuse slipped between his lips anyway: “But Yugi is my-”
“Yugi,” Mahaado said firmly, “is a human. He is a living mortal, and you are a spirit. You do not belong in his world. He does not want you in his world, you saw how uncomfortable your presence made him feel!”
“He would want me!” Atemu snapped before he could stop himself. “You’re wrong, if Yugi knew I was here, he would want me! He loves me! And if I could find some way to contact him, I would tell him, I love him as well-”
“So this is how you treat your love?” Mahaado demanded, his temper flaring again.
Atemu’s eyes narrowed. “What?”
“You claim you love him. So you would contact him, would rekindle feelings he is perhaps trying to lock away? Have you ever considered that perhaps he is healing and trying to move on? And you would cause him to hold onto his feelings for you - would follow him for the rest of his life so that he is unable to ever love another? You would deprive him of happiness, of the possibility of a family, all because you cannot bear to let him go?”
Stunned, Atemu took a step back, one foot passing through the side of the couch. “N-no…I meant…”
“You love him, so you would condemn him to a life of obligation to a ghost? A person he cannot touch or feel or even talk to, yet knows is there? A life of knowing if he ever wanted something more, that he would leave you to wander the Earth alone? Is that what you want for him?”
“No Mahaado-” He tried to plead, using the old cliché excuse: “You don’t understand.”
“I understand love, Atemu. I have seen too many spirits succumb to it. I will not lose my friend to it as well.” He reached out. “Come back to our world. You belong with us, not here.”
“But Yugi-”
“Will be fine without you.”
Atemu looked back over his shoulder again. The tea had been brought out, Yugi was smiling again and sipping from his mug. But he had seen him the night before…which was Yugi’s true self? Was he perhaps both? Both hurting…and yet moving on at the same time? Maybe he was working toward a day when he wouldn’t cry, when he wouldn’t need to whisper to Atemu to get him through the night. Maybe someday, the thought of Atemu wouldn’t bring sadness to his eyes anymore.
Did he really have the right to interfere?
“Atemu?”
“I’ll go back.” He turned away from Yugi. “I’ll go back with you.”
Mahaado looked as if he was about to speak, but before he could Atemu had already vanished.
He had to go before he lost sight of the logic of Mahaado's argument. Of course he couldn't follow Yugi for the rest of his life, he'd known that, yet hadn't cared. If he was going to let go, it had to be now. There would be no last look, no last moment. There couldn’t be.
In the apartment, Yugi felt the air abruptly grow warmer, but it didn’t feel any more comfortable. It felt…lonely. Surrounded by his friends, he suddenly felt empty, and stared down at his mug in helpless confusion. What had just happened?
“Yugi? Are you alright?” Anzu asked.
He pulled on a smile and looked up. “I’m fine.”
x-x-x
Notes: adfj;lk. This is the sound of a displeased Chey. This theme fought me the whole way. It sounded much smoother in my head. Ah well, it could certainly be worse. I’m still really looking forward to posting the next several. x3 They didn’t fight me at all. *prods this one*
Anyway, guess what? I’m taking requests! Fandoms, pairings, and plots of your choice! (Though, hopefully, fandoms that I do know a little about. xD) So if you’ve got any fic ideas you’ve wanted to read, sequels you’ve wished I would write, or just want to help me get out of my writer’s block, now’s your chance. Details and prompt form are here! Please join in? =3