[fic] Fear - Yugioh, YYxY, general, G, theme 25
Title: Fear
Author: Chey (duelist_gurl163)
Theme: 25 - "To fear love is to fear life." for 50_lovequotes
Rating: G
Genre: general/angst
Parings: YamixYugi implied
Archive: You're lookin' at it
Warnings: None
Spoilers: End of the series
Summary: There could be much more to life.
Disclaimer: Don't sue me, you won't get much anyway...
---
“Anzu, while I appreciate the invite, I do not understand what you need me for,” Atemu glanced her way curiously as they walked. “It’s your wedding, surely you’d want someone who is actually participating in it to help you shop for ideas instead?”
“I already told you, everyone who is participating was busy. And it’s boring to shop alone.”
“But why…”
“Because you’re a good shopping partner, alright? You have a good sense of style, and a practical but attractive sense of fashion. That’s the kind of person I need to help me peruse for wedding ideas anyway. You have the right kind of focus.”
“You make me sound girly.” He frowned. She gave him a sideways glance.
“Uh, you’re the one wearing hip-huggers, eyeliner, and more jewelry than me.”
Atemu had no response for that; he suddenly became very interested in the sidewalk. After a suitable interval, he continued anew as they entered a bridal store: “Alright, wedding ideas. What exactly does shopping for wedding ideas mean?”
“Just looking around, getting an idea of what’s out there, colour schemes, prices on outfits…”
“And you want me to help?!” he asked, alarmed.
She laughed. “No, you don’t actually have to participate. If I offer any ideas let me know if you think they’re good or bad, and that’s all you have to do. Otherwise feel free to just wander around, come up with ideas for yourself…”
“Ideas?” He inquired suspiciously.
“You know…for when you decide to get married...because it doesn’t seem like Yugi is the kind of guy that would be interested in designing a wedding.” She shot him a knowing look.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh come on Atemu. You know what it means. You can’t sit around doing nothing about it forever.”
“Doing nothing about what?”
“Atemu…”
“What?” He returned, mimicking her exasperated tone.
“When are you going to tell Yugi you like him?”
He sighed.
“What’s stopping you?”
“Nothing’s stopping me!” he exploded. “Quit worrying about my love life and go…look at your dresses or whatever. I’ll be outside.” He turned around and walked out before she could reply.
She didn’t bring up the subject again until they were having lunch a half hour later. “Atemu, I know you can do whatever you want and make whatever choices you want, but I don’t want to see you sit and pine away when you could have taken action.”
He didn’t argue this time, just swirled the ice in his cup quietly.
“You should talk to him.”
“…”
“Atemu, you love him, you can’t avoid that by refusing to ever discuss it.”
“…”
She folded her arms. “Fine, I won’t say anything else on the matter. I just think you’re being ridiculous.”
He lowered his eyes. “There’s no real reason.”
“Huh?”
“There’s no reason to tell him. I don’t want to tell him anyway, there’s too many risks, but even if I wanted to there’s no reason to.”
“What do you mean there’s no reason to? Of course there’s a reason to. To pursue happiness, to create a relationship and a life with someone you love, are those not good reasons?”
“Only if he wanted it too.”
“What makes you think he wouldn’t?”
He gave her a dubious look. “Are you serious? What kind of question is that? Yugi is straight. He used to have a massive crush on you.”
“And do you realize that crush dissipated right around the time you two became close? And he has not dated or shown any interest in a girl since?”
He tightened his jaw. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t have a love life, I don’t have time for something like that. I wouldn’t even know how.”
“Time?! Atemu, you don’t do anything except work and sit in your house wasting time.”
He shrugged.
“You’re afraid of love, aren’t you?” Comprehension dawned on her face. "You're not afraid he'll hate you for it...you're afraid of finding out that he loves you back!"
“I am not afraid-“
“Atemu, you’re not a pharaoh anymore. Your obligations from that time are over-“
"Well I know that," he interrupted irritably.
“You’re a normal human being!” She continued, raising her voice. “And therefore you do have time for a love life. You have a whole life ahead of you, probably upwards of sixty, seventy, maybe even more years to go, and you can do anything. You can go to college, you can open a business…and you certainly can fall in love with someone. And yet you’re telling me that just because it’s outside your norm, you’re going to spend your life alone doing nothing but just existing? You spent two years just ‘existing’ as a spirit, are you really going to base the whole rest of your life on that? I realize you’re scared of change but this is the time to forget that fear, because telling me you can’t love someone just because you’re not used to it…this is not just about being afraid of love or of telling him or of his reaction, this is about being afraid of life, Atemu. And I'm starting to think that's the real reason you're afraid to talk to him!”
Looking a bit like a puppy that had just been whipped, Atemu lowered his head. “I…”
“You need to live, not just exist.”
He rested his forehead against his hands, hiding his expression.
“Yugi would agree,” she finished, more gently.
He didn’t reply, and seeing his silent appearance made her wonder if she’d come down too hard on him. It hurt, watching him pretend to not care and yet waste away pining for the boy at the same time, but maybe she should have argued her case a little more kindly. Now it seemed like he was never going to speak another word again.
“Hey…Atemu, listen, I didn’t mean for that to come out so harsh…just you’re my friend, and Yugi’s my friend, and I want you to both be happy…”
“Anzu?” His voice finally found its way out of the tangle of hair and limbs.
“Yeah?”
“…I don’t want to just exist.”
x-x-x
Notes: You get to decide who Anzu is marrying. This way I don't get crazy Azureshippers or Danceshippers or any other shippers coming after me with pickaxes. xD (For the record I am neither. I was always a Anzu/Marik sort of gal. And by Marik I mean the 'good' Marik. I forget the shipping name though. I even did a fic once where Anzu gets Yami and Yugi together so they in turn set her up with Marik. I wonder where I ever put that, maybe I could polish it and use it in the next challenge...)
I'm again not sure why I decided to use "Atemu" rather than "Yami." In the next one I'll use Yami.
Please ignore the fact that there are two styles of quotation marks in this. Not my fault. *points at Microsoft Word*
I had no idea how to end this, so I just let it trail. Use your imaginations! Or maybe I'll do a sequel sometime.