"Deepest Love" (Yugioh, YamixYugi, #32)
Woot woot, back with the one-shots my peeps.
Title: Deepest Love
Author: Chey
Pairing: YamixYugi
Fandom: Yugioh
Rating: PG for boys kissing
Theme: #32 "Love knows not it's own depths until the hour of separation."
Summary: Yami is forced to choose between Yugi's life or Yugi's freedom.
Extra info: Yeah there's some questionable stuff about how it is possible for Yami to get into Yugi's soul room after the Puzzle was destroyed...I chalked it down to that they still have that spiritual connection even with the Puzzle gone and Yami in his own body, and that's what Yami used. It's a friggin one-shot. Just go with it. xD Oh, and I also know that the life-support debate is pretty heated in the real world. This is a fanfic that's just meant to be fluffy and angsty and cute. So let's NOT be starting moral debates, shall we?
“So what are you telling us?” Yami finally broke the silence in the hospital room. Behind him stood several of Yugi’s friends and family, in front of him stood a somber-looking doctor, and beside him in a hospital cot lay Yugi, his body hooked to several machines.
The doctor held out his hands in a helpless gesture. “I’m sorry…but the scan is showing little to no activity. He’s brain dead. And if we take him off life support, his body will die too. There’s simply nothing we can do.”
Yami closed his eyes. Other people were there, crying or murmuring after the doctor’s words, but Yami heard none of it. He felt empty inside. He’d felt this way ever since he got the phone call. Yugi’d been going across town on a routine bullet train route. Something went wrong…the train crashed…so many people were killed or injured, but only one person mattered to Yami. When he arrived at the hospital he found his best friend and lover, Yugi, lying injured and motionless in a bed, staring at the ceiling. He’d spoken to Yugi, touched his face, tried to make him say something, but Yugi’s eyes were empty. There was no recognition of anyone or anything. And then the doctor gave them the news. Others of Yugi’s friends had begun crying the moment they came in but not Yami…he felt weirdly empty and unable to find even tears inside himself for Yugi.
“So what options do we have?” His voice sounded far-away to his ears. He was, apparently, the only person able to find a voice.
The doctor looked at the group grimly. “He can remain on life support. His mental status will never improve, he won’t recognize anyone or be able to speak or communicate, but he’ll be alive. It’s up to his family to decide if they want to keep life support or not.” He looked over at Yugi’s parents and grandfather at this. His mother was crying into her hands, and his father and grandfather both shared identical dark expressions.
“Doctor…we need time to decide this…” Yugi’s father replied.
“I understand. It's not easy.”
“No, it’s not.” His grandfather agreed quietly, then he looked up and directly at Yami. “Yami, what do you think?”
“What?” Yami lifted his head. “I’m not blood family, I don’t have the right to decide-“
“Y-Yugi loved you. He loved you more than any of us.” His grandpa’s eyes were wet but he kept himself under control and met Yami’s eyes. “If anyone here has the right…if anyone here knows what Yugi would want us to do, it would be you.”
Yami blinked. “But…”
“Yami…he’s right.” Joey spoke up, wiping his face. “The only person that could really make the choice is Y-Yugi, and since he can’t, you have to. He’d…he’d want you to.”
Everyone in the room nodded and murmured in agreement. Yami swallowed, and looked down at Yugi.
Aibou…I can’t make this choice on my own.
Silently Yami took a step and sat down on the bed beside Yugi, placing his hand on Yugi’s forehead and closing his eyes. He and Yugi had lost the Millennium Puzzle years ago. But they had a bond that went deeper than what magic brought to them, and he was depending on that bond now. He concentrated as hard as he could, trying to connect with Yugi’s spirit somehow. It had to still be here…if anyone could find Yugi inside himself it would be Yami. He just had to find a way in, he had to talk to Yugi one last time…
Suddenly, Yami found himself outside Yugi’s soul room. Blackness surrounded him, the door closed in front of him. Yugi’s door had never been closed to him before. He reached out for the door, but it was locked. Yami stepped forward and placed his hand against the door. Yugi…let me in…please…
The door didn’t open, but Yami’s hand did go right through it. Somehow he was able to pass through the closed door and into Yugi’s soul room. It looked the same as it always had. Yugi was sitting in one corner, but when he saw Yami he quickly got to his feet, staring in shock. “Yami…” he ran forward and threw his arms around him. “Thank goodness you’re here…”
Unthinking, Yami hugged him back tightly. Although he had passed through the door, he was solid here, he could touch Yugi and feel him. He held onto him for a long time, until finally they pulled apart and Yugi looked up at him. “Yami, I don’t know what’s going on, I was on the train and…I can’t remember what happened…but now I’m locked in here, I can’t open my door. What is this, what's happening?”
Yami ran his hands through Yugi’s hair gently. He tried to stay steady. “Yugi…the train…it crashed. You were injured.”
“Oh…So I…what’s happened?”
Yami took a deep breath and looked into Yugi’s eyes. “You were hurt really bad…you’re brain dead, and your body has to be kept alive on life support.”
Yugi lowered his eyes. Yami saw tears in them and whispered gently, “I’m sorry, Yugi…”
“No Yami…it’s okay. That makes sense, it explains…why I can’t get out of here. I’m glad I got to know the truth.” Yugi seemed to get himself back under control and looked back at him evenly. “So what happens now? Do my family and friends know?”
“The doctor says they can keep you alive with machines, but that you’ll never be…well, yourself, ever again. Your brain is too badly damaged, I guess that's why your soul is locked inside here. Everyone’s there at the hospital with you. He asked your family what they wanted to do, if they wanted to keep you alive or unplug the machines and they…they asked me. They said…you’d want me to make that ch-choice.” Yami’s voice shook for the first time since hearing the news.
“Well, they’re right.” Yugi smiled slightly. “I do want you to make the choice.”
“No Yugi, I don’t have that right either. You’re the only one. That’s why I came here…I had to ask you. I have to know what you want us to do.”
“What do you want them to do?” Yugi asked.
“Yugi! I’m not the one to decide this! You are!”
“And I will. But first I’m asking you. Do you want to keep me alive and there with you for as long as you can, or do you want to let me die?” He looked into Yami’s eyes, still holding onto him. “I won’t give you an answer until you tell me.”
“Yugi…you know I don’t want to lose you,” Yami whispered. “I love you.”
“So you want to keep me on life support?”
“No.” Yami released Yugi and took a step away, his arms around himself now. “Yugi…I love you. I only want you to be okay. But I can’t do that. I can’t…make it okay this time. I don’t want to lose you, but I…I can’t ever stand to know that you’re locked up…that you won’t be able to think or feel or do anything ever again. I know how that feels. I won’t put you through that. If I had to make the choice…I would turn the machines off and let you go. As much as it will hurt, I would let you go. Because I love you too much…to put you through all of that.” Tears ran down Yami’s face and he covered his eyes. “I l-love you…I don’t want…you to suffer…I’m sorry.” He dropped to his knees and sobbed. “I’m sorry…”
Then he suddenly felt Yugi’s arms come around him and opened his eyes to see Yugi kneeling beside him and hugging him. “Don’t be sorry, Yami. You haven’t hurt my feelings. You picked the same choice I would have.”
“What?”
“If I can never come back, if being brain dead means that I'm going to be stuck in here, then I want to be free. I don’t want my soul locked up in here, I want to be free to go on and wait for you whenever the day comes that you have to join me. And I want to be able to spend the time in between watching over you. I asked you to tell me what your choice was because I wanted to know, at the very end, your true feelings. I knew you loved me…and I love you, Yami. We always knew that. But I know now how deep that love is. Other people might have chosen to keep my body alive to avoid the pain on themselves but you chose what’s best for me…because you truly love me. And I’m so happy, Yami…to know I had love this deep and this special in my life.” He closed his eyes and hugged Yami tightly. “I’m not afraid, and I’m not sorry. I had the greatest life I could. I had you. And even though I wish we could spend the rest of our lives together, I guess that train had other plans. But I’m not sorry if I have to leave now…I know I had real true love in my life. That’s more than enough.”
“Y…Yugi…” Yami whispered, suddenly clinging to him, knowing this was good-bye. “I’ll miss you…I’ll never forget you. And I’m so glad…that I got to know you and love you for as long as I did.”
“I won’t forget you either.” Yugi pulled away and looked back at him. “I love you. I’ll always be with you. Please tell my family and friends good-bye for me.” He leaned forward and kissed Yami’s lips softly for the last time. “And I’ll see you again someday, I promise.”
Yami’s eyes closed and he kissed Yugi back. “I'll tell them. Good bye Yugi…I’ll see you again.” He murmured.
And as he opened his eyes, he found himself back in the hospital room. Everyone was watching him, and the machines were still running, Yugi still lying motionless and staring at the ceiling with unseeing eyes. The only difference was that tears were now rolling down Yami’s face. Yami lifted his head and looked directly at the doctor.
“Yugi wants to be let go. Turn off the life support.”
“Are you sure? This is a hard choice, I think his family-“
“Do what Yami says.” Yugi’s mother wiped her eyes and gave the doctor a fierce look. “He knows what Yugi would want. Listen to what he says.”
“He told me to tell all of you good-bye. Yugi doesn’t want to be locked up inside himself. And I don’t want him to be either. Please turn off the machine.” Yami replied quietly, taking Yugi’s hand and looking down at the boy. Everyone gathered around his bed, wished him farewell and goodbye while Yugi’s parents signed the proper papers. Yami said nothing, just held his hand tightly and waited. The machines shut off, and the doctor unhooked Yugi from them. His chest rose and fell unevenly a few times, and then grew still.
Again it was as if Yami was alone in the room. But the emptiness inside him was gone. He knew he’d made the right choice and that Yugi was happy, and although he felt alone and devastated and pained, he also knew this was right. Yugi was free now. Reaching out, he closed Yugi’s eyes, kissed his forehead, and laid his hand gently beside his body, getting up and leaving the room before anyone could say anything to him.
Outside the hospital, Yami stopped and raised his tear-stained face to the sky. “I love you, Yugi.” He whispered aloud. “Good bye.”
A gentle breeze suddenly came out of nowhere and ruffled Yami’s hair. Strangely, Yami felt some of the chill vanish from him. And for just a moment, Yami smiled. Because for just a moment he could have sworn he heard clearly Yugi’s voice in that wind, saying softly back,
“Good-bye Yami…thank you.”
Title: Deepest Love
Author: Chey
Pairing: YamixYugi
Fandom: Yugioh
Rating: PG for boys kissing
Theme: #32 "Love knows not it's own depths until the hour of separation."
Summary: Yami is forced to choose between Yugi's life or Yugi's freedom.
Extra info: Yeah there's some questionable stuff about how it is possible for Yami to get into Yugi's soul room after the Puzzle was destroyed...I chalked it down to that they still have that spiritual connection even with the Puzzle gone and Yami in his own body, and that's what Yami used. It's a friggin one-shot. Just go with it. xD Oh, and I also know that the life-support debate is pretty heated in the real world. This is a fanfic that's just meant to be fluffy and angsty and cute. So let's NOT be starting moral debates, shall we?
“So what are you telling us?” Yami finally broke the silence in the hospital room. Behind him stood several of Yugi’s friends and family, in front of him stood a somber-looking doctor, and beside him in a hospital cot lay Yugi, his body hooked to several machines.
The doctor held out his hands in a helpless gesture. “I’m sorry…but the scan is showing little to no activity. He’s brain dead. And if we take him off life support, his body will die too. There’s simply nothing we can do.”
Yami closed his eyes. Other people were there, crying or murmuring after the doctor’s words, but Yami heard none of it. He felt empty inside. He’d felt this way ever since he got the phone call. Yugi’d been going across town on a routine bullet train route. Something went wrong…the train crashed…so many people were killed or injured, but only one person mattered to Yami. When he arrived at the hospital he found his best friend and lover, Yugi, lying injured and motionless in a bed, staring at the ceiling. He’d spoken to Yugi, touched his face, tried to make him say something, but Yugi’s eyes were empty. There was no recognition of anyone or anything. And then the doctor gave them the news. Others of Yugi’s friends had begun crying the moment they came in but not Yami…he felt weirdly empty and unable to find even tears inside himself for Yugi.
“So what options do we have?” His voice sounded far-away to his ears. He was, apparently, the only person able to find a voice.
The doctor looked at the group grimly. “He can remain on life support. His mental status will never improve, he won’t recognize anyone or be able to speak or communicate, but he’ll be alive. It’s up to his family to decide if they want to keep life support or not.” He looked over at Yugi’s parents and grandfather at this. His mother was crying into her hands, and his father and grandfather both shared identical dark expressions.
“Doctor…we need time to decide this…” Yugi’s father replied.
“I understand. It's not easy.”
“No, it’s not.” His grandfather agreed quietly, then he looked up and directly at Yami. “Yami, what do you think?”
“What?” Yami lifted his head. “I’m not blood family, I don’t have the right to decide-“
“Y-Yugi loved you. He loved you more than any of us.” His grandpa’s eyes were wet but he kept himself under control and met Yami’s eyes. “If anyone here has the right…if anyone here knows what Yugi would want us to do, it would be you.”
Yami blinked. “But…”
“Yami…he’s right.” Joey spoke up, wiping his face. “The only person that could really make the choice is Y-Yugi, and since he can’t, you have to. He’d…he’d want you to.”
Everyone in the room nodded and murmured in agreement. Yami swallowed, and looked down at Yugi.
Aibou…I can’t make this choice on my own.
Silently Yami took a step and sat down on the bed beside Yugi, placing his hand on Yugi’s forehead and closing his eyes. He and Yugi had lost the Millennium Puzzle years ago. But they had a bond that went deeper than what magic brought to them, and he was depending on that bond now. He concentrated as hard as he could, trying to connect with Yugi’s spirit somehow. It had to still be here…if anyone could find Yugi inside himself it would be Yami. He just had to find a way in, he had to talk to Yugi one last time…
Suddenly, Yami found himself outside Yugi’s soul room. Blackness surrounded him, the door closed in front of him. Yugi’s door had never been closed to him before. He reached out for the door, but it was locked. Yami stepped forward and placed his hand against the door. Yugi…let me in…please…
The door didn’t open, but Yami’s hand did go right through it. Somehow he was able to pass through the closed door and into Yugi’s soul room. It looked the same as it always had. Yugi was sitting in one corner, but when he saw Yami he quickly got to his feet, staring in shock. “Yami…” he ran forward and threw his arms around him. “Thank goodness you’re here…”
Unthinking, Yami hugged him back tightly. Although he had passed through the door, he was solid here, he could touch Yugi and feel him. He held onto him for a long time, until finally they pulled apart and Yugi looked up at him. “Yami, I don’t know what’s going on, I was on the train and…I can’t remember what happened…but now I’m locked in here, I can’t open my door. What is this, what's happening?”
Yami ran his hands through Yugi’s hair gently. He tried to stay steady. “Yugi…the train…it crashed. You were injured.”
“Oh…So I…what’s happened?”
Yami took a deep breath and looked into Yugi’s eyes. “You were hurt really bad…you’re brain dead, and your body has to be kept alive on life support.”
Yugi lowered his eyes. Yami saw tears in them and whispered gently, “I’m sorry, Yugi…”
“No Yami…it’s okay. That makes sense, it explains…why I can’t get out of here. I’m glad I got to know the truth.” Yugi seemed to get himself back under control and looked back at him evenly. “So what happens now? Do my family and friends know?”
“The doctor says they can keep you alive with machines, but that you’ll never be…well, yourself, ever again. Your brain is too badly damaged, I guess that's why your soul is locked inside here. Everyone’s there at the hospital with you. He asked your family what they wanted to do, if they wanted to keep you alive or unplug the machines and they…they asked me. They said…you’d want me to make that ch-choice.” Yami’s voice shook for the first time since hearing the news.
“Well, they’re right.” Yugi smiled slightly. “I do want you to make the choice.”
“No Yugi, I don’t have that right either. You’re the only one. That’s why I came here…I had to ask you. I have to know what you want us to do.”
“What do you want them to do?” Yugi asked.
“Yugi! I’m not the one to decide this! You are!”
“And I will. But first I’m asking you. Do you want to keep me alive and there with you for as long as you can, or do you want to let me die?” He looked into Yami’s eyes, still holding onto him. “I won’t give you an answer until you tell me.”
“Yugi…you know I don’t want to lose you,” Yami whispered. “I love you.”
“So you want to keep me on life support?”
“No.” Yami released Yugi and took a step away, his arms around himself now. “Yugi…I love you. I only want you to be okay. But I can’t do that. I can’t…make it okay this time. I don’t want to lose you, but I…I can’t ever stand to know that you’re locked up…that you won’t be able to think or feel or do anything ever again. I know how that feels. I won’t put you through that. If I had to make the choice…I would turn the machines off and let you go. As much as it will hurt, I would let you go. Because I love you too much…to put you through all of that.” Tears ran down Yami’s face and he covered his eyes. “I l-love you…I don’t want…you to suffer…I’m sorry.” He dropped to his knees and sobbed. “I’m sorry…”
Then he suddenly felt Yugi’s arms come around him and opened his eyes to see Yugi kneeling beside him and hugging him. “Don’t be sorry, Yami. You haven’t hurt my feelings. You picked the same choice I would have.”
“What?”
“If I can never come back, if being brain dead means that I'm going to be stuck in here, then I want to be free. I don’t want my soul locked up in here, I want to be free to go on and wait for you whenever the day comes that you have to join me. And I want to be able to spend the time in between watching over you. I asked you to tell me what your choice was because I wanted to know, at the very end, your true feelings. I knew you loved me…and I love you, Yami. We always knew that. But I know now how deep that love is. Other people might have chosen to keep my body alive to avoid the pain on themselves but you chose what’s best for me…because you truly love me. And I’m so happy, Yami…to know I had love this deep and this special in my life.” He closed his eyes and hugged Yami tightly. “I’m not afraid, and I’m not sorry. I had the greatest life I could. I had you. And even though I wish we could spend the rest of our lives together, I guess that train had other plans. But I’m not sorry if I have to leave now…I know I had real true love in my life. That’s more than enough.”
“Y…Yugi…” Yami whispered, suddenly clinging to him, knowing this was good-bye. “I’ll miss you…I’ll never forget you. And I’m so glad…that I got to know you and love you for as long as I did.”
“I won’t forget you either.” Yugi pulled away and looked back at him. “I love you. I’ll always be with you. Please tell my family and friends good-bye for me.” He leaned forward and kissed Yami’s lips softly for the last time. “And I’ll see you again someday, I promise.”
Yami’s eyes closed and he kissed Yugi back. “I'll tell them. Good bye Yugi…I’ll see you again.” He murmured.
And as he opened his eyes, he found himself back in the hospital room. Everyone was watching him, and the machines were still running, Yugi still lying motionless and staring at the ceiling with unseeing eyes. The only difference was that tears were now rolling down Yami’s face. Yami lifted his head and looked directly at the doctor.
“Yugi wants to be let go. Turn off the life support.”
“Are you sure? This is a hard choice, I think his family-“
“Do what Yami says.” Yugi’s mother wiped her eyes and gave the doctor a fierce look. “He knows what Yugi would want. Listen to what he says.”
“He told me to tell all of you good-bye. Yugi doesn’t want to be locked up inside himself. And I don’t want him to be either. Please turn off the machine.” Yami replied quietly, taking Yugi’s hand and looking down at the boy. Everyone gathered around his bed, wished him farewell and goodbye while Yugi’s parents signed the proper papers. Yami said nothing, just held his hand tightly and waited. The machines shut off, and the doctor unhooked Yugi from them. His chest rose and fell unevenly a few times, and then grew still.
Again it was as if Yami was alone in the room. But the emptiness inside him was gone. He knew he’d made the right choice and that Yugi was happy, and although he felt alone and devastated and pained, he also knew this was right. Yugi was free now. Reaching out, he closed Yugi’s eyes, kissed his forehead, and laid his hand gently beside his body, getting up and leaving the room before anyone could say anything to him.
Outside the hospital, Yami stopped and raised his tear-stained face to the sky. “I love you, Yugi.” He whispered aloud. “Good bye.”
A gentle breeze suddenly came out of nowhere and ruffled Yami’s hair. Strangely, Yami felt some of the chill vanish from him. And for just a moment, Yami smiled. Because for just a moment he could have sworn he heard clearly Yugi’s voice in that wind, saying softly back,
“Good-bye Yami…thank you.”