Crack!Fic: "Just Purrfect!"
Author: aibhinn
Title: "Just Purrfect!"
Rating: G
Pairing: Nine/Jack/Rose
Spoilers: Jack travelled with Rose and the Ninth Doctor for a time. That's all I spoil.
Warnings: Um. Keep insulin on hand?
Summary: A run-in with a molecular destabiliser leaves the Doctor a little, erm, catty.
Author's note: This is pure crack, inspired by this picture by dameruth and aided and abetted by a bad case of the flu and the associated medications that go with it. Assume an established Nine/Jack/Rose threesome relationship. Thanks to souleswanderer for the title!
Jack stared, rubbing the back of his neck absently. "Well," he managed. "That's. Um. Different."
"Well spotted, Captain. Thanks." The Doctor sat down on the jump seat, bristling with annoyance. Literally, in this case. He shifted, trying to get his tail out of the way. The tail that hadn't been there when he and Rose had left to look for spare parts only an hour before. Neither had the whiskers, nor the paws, nor the fine, soft pelt of thick black fur.
Oh, boy.
"I didn't know," Rose protested, somewhat faintly.
Jack glanced at her; she was looking down at her hands. He went to her, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and dropped a kiss on her hair. "It wasn't your fault, Rose," he said reassuringly, and shot a look at the Doctor that said louder than words, Was it?
"Of course it wasn't," the Doctor said. Glancing over his shoulder at the tail that refused to get out of his way, he snarled, looking very panther-like indeed, and got up again to pace around the console. Jack couldn't help but notice he still moved like himself-still with that self-assured swagger combined with the lean, spare movements of someone built-or trained-like an athlete. A runner, perhaps, or someone well-versed in martial arts. Does that mean a panther moves like the Doctor, Jack thought, or the Doctor's always moved like a panther? Personally, he was more inclined towards the latter.
The Doctor came up to Rose and put an enormous, heavy paw gently on her shoulder. "Don't blame yourself, Rose. First of all, I was the one who took us there, and secondly, you couldn't have known there was a molecular destabiliser anywhere in the vicinity, let alone that it would happen to go off at just that time."
"A molecular destabiliser?" Jack repeated, cocking his head. "But that shouldn't have affected you-unless-"
"Unless I was holding a black cat?" the Doctor finished for him. His tail switched back and forth, which Jack translated as this form's version of an eyeroll. "Never noticed your knack for statin' the obvious before."
"You were holding a black cat?" Jack repeated, despite the jibe.
"Somethin' wrong with that?" The lashing tail was making broader strokes now.
Jack held up his hands. "No," he said. "No, not at all. Didn't say anything like it. Just, you never seemed like a cat person to me. Well," he added with a flash of mischief he just couldn't suppress, "not until now."
Rose blinked, and then giggled helplessly, though she slapped a hand over her mouth to try to cover it. The Doctor's eyes narrowed, then one eyebrow quirked upward in an oddly familiar gesture.
"Y'tryin' to tell me you've never seen me show my claws?" he asked.
Caught off-guard, Jack threw his head back and laughed. "Glad to see you've still got your sense of humour, Doc," he said.
"Me too." Rose slipped an arm around the Doctor and rested her cheek against the lapel of his jacket, just as she always did. "But are you stuck like this? I mean, is there some way we can reverse it?"
"What, you don't like the new me?" the Doctor asked with mock surprise. At least, Jack hoped it was mock; the fur made his expression much harder to read.
Rose leaned back to look at him more carefully. Her eyes crinkled with amusement. "Well, your ears are cuter," she said impudently. "And maybe a bit smaller."
"Oi!" the Doctor protested without much heat, as Jack and Rose both laughed. He didn't pull away from her, though, and she rubbed her cheek against his shoulder as she giggled. "You're more'n a bit of a cat yourself sometimes," he told her fondly. "Always rubbin' and stretchin' like that."
"And lying in the sun," Jack reminded him. "Remember the beach on that planet last week?" He winked at Rose, who blushed slightly. "Wouldn't mind seeing that bikini again."
"You're a bit feline yourself." She reached out and ran a hand over his hair, and he closed his eyes reflexively, leaning into her touch. "See?" She was grinning when he opened his eyes, her tongue between her teeth.
"Mm." He turned his head and kissed her palm. "I could make comments about twenty-first century words for 'cat' that also mean something entirely different, but I won't."
"Or about your fondness for milk," she retorted, catching his glance down her cleavage. "Or cream, for that matter."
"Now, now." The Doctor's whiskers were forward, arched away from his face in what Jack had read somewhere was cat body language for happiness-or in this case, probably amusement. "To answer your question, Rose, it'll reverse itself soon enough. Would've taken a few days on the planet; it'll only take a few hours here in the TARDIS. She's leaching the radiation out of me and reminding my cells what my DNA's supposed to look like."
"Shame." Jack stepped forward and ran his hand over the Doctor's head, enjoying the sensation of the short, dark, immensely-soft fur. "Could've been an interesting experience."
"Oh, I dunno," Rose said thoughtfully. "We've already learnt how to make him purr."
Title: "Just Purrfect!"
Rating: G
Pairing: Nine/Jack/Rose
Spoilers: Jack travelled with Rose and the Ninth Doctor for a time. That's all I spoil.
Warnings: Um. Keep insulin on hand?
Summary: A run-in with a molecular destabiliser leaves the Doctor a little, erm, catty.
Author's note: This is pure crack, inspired by this picture by dameruth and aided and abetted by a bad case of the flu and the associated medications that go with it. Assume an established Nine/Jack/Rose threesome relationship. Thanks to souleswanderer for the title!
Jack stared, rubbing the back of his neck absently. "Well," he managed. "That's. Um. Different."
"Well spotted, Captain. Thanks." The Doctor sat down on the jump seat, bristling with annoyance. Literally, in this case. He shifted, trying to get his tail out of the way. The tail that hadn't been there when he and Rose had left to look for spare parts only an hour before. Neither had the whiskers, nor the paws, nor the fine, soft pelt of thick black fur.
Oh, boy.
"I didn't know," Rose protested, somewhat faintly.
Jack glanced at her; she was looking down at her hands. He went to her, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and dropped a kiss on her hair. "It wasn't your fault, Rose," he said reassuringly, and shot a look at the Doctor that said louder than words, Was it?
"Of course it wasn't," the Doctor said. Glancing over his shoulder at the tail that refused to get out of his way, he snarled, looking very panther-like indeed, and got up again to pace around the console. Jack couldn't help but notice he still moved like himself-still with that self-assured swagger combined with the lean, spare movements of someone built-or trained-like an athlete. A runner, perhaps, or someone well-versed in martial arts. Does that mean a panther moves like the Doctor, Jack thought, or the Doctor's always moved like a panther? Personally, he was more inclined towards the latter.
The Doctor came up to Rose and put an enormous, heavy paw gently on her shoulder. "Don't blame yourself, Rose. First of all, I was the one who took us there, and secondly, you couldn't have known there was a molecular destabiliser anywhere in the vicinity, let alone that it would happen to go off at just that time."
"A molecular destabiliser?" Jack repeated, cocking his head. "But that shouldn't have affected you-unless-"
"Unless I was holding a black cat?" the Doctor finished for him. His tail switched back and forth, which Jack translated as this form's version of an eyeroll. "Never noticed your knack for statin' the obvious before."
"You were holding a black cat?" Jack repeated, despite the jibe.
"Somethin' wrong with that?" The lashing tail was making broader strokes now.
Jack held up his hands. "No," he said. "No, not at all. Didn't say anything like it. Just, you never seemed like a cat person to me. Well," he added with a flash of mischief he just couldn't suppress, "not until now."
Rose blinked, and then giggled helplessly, though she slapped a hand over her mouth to try to cover it. The Doctor's eyes narrowed, then one eyebrow quirked upward in an oddly familiar gesture.
"Y'tryin' to tell me you've never seen me show my claws?" he asked.
Caught off-guard, Jack threw his head back and laughed. "Glad to see you've still got your sense of humour, Doc," he said.
"Me too." Rose slipped an arm around the Doctor and rested her cheek against the lapel of his jacket, just as she always did. "But are you stuck like this? I mean, is there some way we can reverse it?"
"What, you don't like the new me?" the Doctor asked with mock surprise. At least, Jack hoped it was mock; the fur made his expression much harder to read.
Rose leaned back to look at him more carefully. Her eyes crinkled with amusement. "Well, your ears are cuter," she said impudently. "And maybe a bit smaller."
"Oi!" the Doctor protested without much heat, as Jack and Rose both laughed. He didn't pull away from her, though, and she rubbed her cheek against his shoulder as she giggled. "You're more'n a bit of a cat yourself sometimes," he told her fondly. "Always rubbin' and stretchin' like that."
"And lying in the sun," Jack reminded him. "Remember the beach on that planet last week?" He winked at Rose, who blushed slightly. "Wouldn't mind seeing that bikini again."
"You're a bit feline yourself." She reached out and ran a hand over his hair, and he closed his eyes reflexively, leaning into her touch. "See?" She was grinning when he opened his eyes, her tongue between her teeth.
"Mm." He turned his head and kissed her palm. "I could make comments about twenty-first century words for 'cat' that also mean something entirely different, but I won't."
"Or about your fondness for milk," she retorted, catching his glance down her cleavage. "Or cream, for that matter."
"Now, now." The Doctor's whiskers were forward, arched away from his face in what Jack had read somewhere was cat body language for happiness-or in this case, probably amusement. "To answer your question, Rose, it'll reverse itself soon enough. Would've taken a few days on the planet; it'll only take a few hours here in the TARDIS. She's leaching the radiation out of me and reminding my cells what my DNA's supposed to look like."
"Shame." Jack stepped forward and ran his hand over the Doctor's head, enjoying the sensation of the short, dark, immensely-soft fur. "Could've been an interesting experience."
"Oh, I dunno," Rose said thoughtfully. "We've already learnt how to make him purr."