An Incident Along a Suburban Roadway

[ahunter3]

I take long walks as my primary form of exercise and to clear my head. Yesterday I was around mile 15 of a 25 mile hike down suburban roads in Suffolk County and had noticed a patch of raspberry bushes that still had berries on them, and had stepped off the road to pick and eat some of them

Comments

[mallorys_camera]

Interesting! He saw you as rough trade! Maybe you're not quite the sissy boy you think you are. :-)

(I will note here that I only think of you as a "sissy boy" because that's how you define yourself. But to me, you've never seemed particularly girlish. Gentle. But non un-masculine. Possibly because you remind me a lot of a guy I lived with in my early 20s. Your voices are practically identical, in fact.)

And yeah, unwanted attention is always difficult. One wants to be discouraging and at the same time cordial, acknowledging of the fact that you know it's a risky business to approach someone else, and you're sympathetic.

[musicman]

Never hurts to say, in passing, Have a nice day. It does not commit to anything other than you are being polite, and that is usually not threatening. I'm a big guy who tends to grimace a lot, and looks grim. I've had a lot of experience of people avoiding me, or misreading my facial expression. I find if I smile and speak and keep going, that people react much better, as if I've dispelled the myth that I eat babies or something.

[old_cutter_john]

I see the same kind of early-in-life divergence that I noted when I wondered what my life might have been like if playing with girls had been an option for me.

I grew up in a combat zone, and I had to adopt a threatening demeanor to keep myself safe on the streets. Without intending to, I frightened noncombatants. I noticed; and since I am who I am, it bothered me. Though I resented the prejudice, I undertook to do what I could to remedy the problem, though not at the expense of my own safety. Even now, as an old man, I expect to frighten people, and I take care to minimize the degree to which I actually do frighten them. With your history, though, I'd probably be as surprised as you were.