Comments | ahavah: A Slightly Irate PSA About Boy vs Girl

ahavah

A Slightly Irate PSA About Boy vs Girl

Apr 22, 2011 18:08

Dear World,

Believe it or not, it is totally okay to prefer one or the other. This does not make someone a bad parent, this does not mean they will be disappointed with their child, this does not mean they will treat it any differently, and it does not mean they have their priorities off-track and need a lecture.

No, really!

( Maybe it's hormones. Or maybe people are douches. Either way, it got a bit ranty. )

me, maya, parenting, mo, family, pregnancy

Comments 31

dodging_fate April 23 2011, 02:34:08 UTC

when we decided for a third (and final, for sure) child I prayed and prayed for a boy to round out my family... I totally get it! I desperately wanted Laurel to be a girl, didn't care for Anna and wanted JT to be a boy SO BAD... I got my wish, I hope you get your boy :)

ahavah April 23 2011, 03:11:38 UTC

Sounds very much like my situation then! It would be nice if the outcome is the same. :)

lahermite April 23 2011, 02:53:01 UTC

you're funny when pissed. :)

(not that you don't have funny moments when not pissed, lol, but - you know... )

ahavah April 23 2011, 03:11:58 UTC

I'm glad you think so.

theafaye April 23 2011, 09:00:10 UTC

One of the reasons for finding out gender first time round was that we desperately wanted a girl and if it wasn't, I wanted my husband to have time to adjust to it if it wasn't, especially if there was a problem at the birth, which would affect his bonding. Had we not known in advance that a boy was coming out, given all the issues when he was born, it was really good that we were prepared because it still was a bit of an issue for him, but nowhere near as much as if it had been a surprise. I actually mourned the "loss" of the girl I thought we were having when we found out ( ... )

ahavah April 23 2011, 15:24:51 UTC

I totally understand the want to find out. Part of me wanted to with this one, as at first I was slightly afraid that any of us might be 'disappointed' if it's a girl, and I didn't want the family feeling disappointed upon first meeting. But I know that we'll all just be happy to meet it, no matter what. With Eden, even as much as I begged for a girl, after the birth, I just completely forgot to even check what we had! I was just so glad to see my baby. I needed to be reminded to even look at the sex.

Each time is different and however you feel is how you feel. Nobody should have to defend their feelings, especially since it's all theoretical and will make NO DIFFERENCE to you once the baby's here.

I really, really like that. You worded it so much better than I did!

butterfly_bbw April 23 2011, 12:14:10 UTC

I remember the as long as the baby is healthy comments, when I was expecting the arrival of my third child. In my case that staement made me irate. My first child was born with a rare birth defect and until about five minutes after she was born, I thought I was having a boy. Did I love her less because for the 5 months prior to her birth I called her Alexander? NO!! Absolutely not!! Was I disappointed ? I admit I was, a little. Then when my second girl was born, I still wanted a boy. For me number three is my baby girl. And I love all of my girls with a love I never thought possible.

With all that being said, I hope you get your son.
(Thanks for allowing me an oppurtunity to vent!)

ahavah April 23 2011, 15:27:48 UTC

It's really starting to make me irate too! Thank God! I was afraid I was the only one. 0_o

I imagine I would be a whole lot more hurt and upset if one of my girls *did* have a birth defect. How insensitive of people! I would have snarked the hell out of them right to their face instead of let off steam here. And, really, even if the baby does have a defect, it's not like you'd love it any less then anyway! Of course, I don't think anyone around here really realizes how smacking of ableism that is.

Anyway, you're always welcome to vent around here! Obviously it is something I encourage. lol

kali_kali April 23 2011, 15:34:31 UTC

I'm hoping for lots of baby girls when I get around to having kids. My boyfriend may want a boy in there though, but whatever happens, happens. He also only wants two kids, but I think I've talked him up to three. My ideal would be four.

I think I should start soon though, whenever families with lots of little girls come into the cafe I work at I can't help but wish they were mine :-)

ahavah April 23 2011, 15:36:23 UTC

I hope you get them! Girls are really special. I've managed to talk Josh into three, but I think I would be happiest with at least five! I know we probably can't afford it, but I've *always* wanted a big family. Maybe one day we will be able to afford it. I can keep hoping.