Supernatural RPS fic: This Fragile Heart (Jensen/Jared) 2/2
Title: This Fragile Heart
Author: agt_spooky
Pairing: Jensen/Jared, brief Jensen/OMC
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 15,544 (total for both parts)
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: It’s RPS, people. It never happened, but I wish it would. :-)
Author’s Notes: Many thanks, as always, to my fabulous beta, charityfliint who always makes my stories better. :-)
Summary: Written for the abouttwoboys fic challenge. The movie I claimed was Return To Me. While this is not a word-for-word, scene-for-scene retelling of the film (because I just think that would be boring, you could just rent the movie!) the main plot is still the same, and so is some of the dialogue.
So without further ado, here is Return To Me, J2 style. :-)
(banner created by agt_spooky)
PART TWO
~~~~~
The next two weeks flew by in a blur of happiness for Jensen.
His filming hours could be crazy, but whenever he had the time, he was with Jared. Not only had he and Jared hit it off, but so had Harley and Sadie. Jensen brought Harley over one weekend and they took the dogs to the park, letting them romp and play while their owners lazed on a blanket, trading kisses under the warm California sun.
They went to dinner again, and a movie afterwards, where they sat in the back and ate popcorn from the same tub and held hands and made out like a couple of teenagers.
Jensen introduced Jared to his favorite sport - golf - and in a matter of minutes it was apparent this was not going to be Jared’s sport as well. Though he certainly dressed the part, with his pink polo and khaki shorts, looking like a pro.
But on the course, it was a different story. Jared’s long legs and arms just didn’t seem to be coordinated enough to get the ball to go where it needed to.
He hooked the ball, he sliced the ball and he swung the club like a baseball bat. He nearly decapitated an unsuspecting woman on the hole next to theirs when one of the balls went wild, and probably killed some poor woodland creature when one of his shots rocketed into the rough.
After Jared lost five balls in a water hazard on the same hole, then proceeded to bury one ball so badly in a sand trap that he couldn’t find it, Jensen called it quits after only six holes, laughing so hard he could barely breathe.
They did finally figure out Jared’s ineptitude on the golf course, though, after Jensen took the club away from him before he maimed someone.
“The ball goes left, the ball goes right. My god, do you even know what ‘straight’ means?” Jensen laughed.
Jared threw up his arms. “Well there’s the problem right there!” he exclaimed, moving in close to Jensen, hooking an arm around his waist and hauling him in. “I have no idea what ‘straight’ means,” he smirked, then proceeded to kiss Jensen breathless.
It was the best game of golf Jensen had ever played.
In retaliation for the golf outing, Jared dragged Jensen to the batting cages the next afternoon, where he watched Jared smash ten pitches in a row with ease.
“Damn,” Jensen commented as the last ball hit the far side of the cages. “Let me guess; you were the star player on your high school team?”
Jared shook his head as he stepped out and removed his batting helmet. “Nope. Didn’t get into this until a couple years ago. I just like coming out here and smashing the ball, see how strong I am,” he grinned, handing Jensen the bat and helmet. “Now let’s see how strong you are.”
Jensen sighed as he put the batting helmet on and hefted the unfamiliar weight of the bat in his hands, taking a few practice swings.
Jared grimaced as he swung one more time. “Well I certainly know you didn’t play ball in school!” he laughed.
“I was a cheerleader,” Jensen mumbled, feeling his face go hot.
“What was that? You were what?”
Jensen sighed and tipped the bat down. “I was a cheerleader,” he said louder.
Jared tried to hide his smile behind his hand and failed miserably. “Betcha musta looked awfully damn cute with those pom-poms, Jen,” he smirked.
“Go ahead, laugh it up,” Jensen nodded, advancing on Jared. “But I’ll have you know that cheerleaders are revered in Texas. Forget the baseball team and the football team. We were the ones beating the girls, and guys,” he smirked, “off with a stick. Everybody wanted us cheerleaders,” he finished smugly with a hint of a grin.
“I guess you’re right,” Jared agreed, looping an arm around Jensen’s waist, pulling him close. “’cause god knows I want you,” he growled, dipping his head for a kiss, succeeding only in knocking his forehead into the brim of Jensen’s hard batting helmet.
Jared pulled back with a grimace, rubbing his forehead while Jensen laughed. “That’ll teach you to mock a cheerleader,” he smirked, walking into the cage and shutting the gate.
“Yeah, well we’ll see who’s laughing in a minute,” Jared replied, slipping the money into the slot and the pitching machine whirred to life.
And four pitches later, it was indeed Jared who was laughing. Jensen managed to completely miss the first three pitches and fouled a fourth one straight back that would’ve taken off Jared’s head if not for the net.
Jensen was ready for the fifth one, though, confident he was getting his timing right. But instead he fouled that one off, too, this time straight up…and straight back down, hitting himself in the head.
“God, stop, stop!” Jared wheezed. “You’re gonna take someone’s eye out!”
Jensen gave him a dirty look as the machine shut off, removing his batting helmet and tossing it to the ground as Jared stepped into the cage, standing directly behind Jensen.
“Your problem is, you still think you’re playing golf,” he patiently told Jensen. “You gotta adjust your stance…like this…” he explained, putting his hands on Jensen’s hips and turning him slightly.
Jensen felt the heat of Jared’s body behind him, the younger man’s groin just brushing up against him and he leaned back, just a little bit, bringing them into closer contact.
Jared’s voice was a low rumble in Jensen’s ear. “Mmm-hmm…just like that,” he breathed, hands tightening on Jensen’s hips, his own pressing more firmly against Jensen’s body.
“Now bring your arms up,” Jared instructed in the same low voice that was sending shivers through Jensen’s body.
Jensen complied, but dropped the bat, bringing one of his arms up to wrap around Jared’s neck, turning his head to kiss the taller man. Jensen’s t-shirt had ridden up as he raised his arm, and Jared’s fingers skimmed up his side, up under the shirt and Jensen moaned into the kiss.
Jared’s fingers dipped down then, just under the waistband of Jensen’s track shorts and Jensen broke the kiss with a breathless, “Jared…” turning to face the younger man.
And there. There it was in Jared’s eyes. That spark of desire, of want, that Jensen had been waiting to see.
They’d been taking things slowly these last two weeks, not having gone further than heavy make out sessions in Jensen’s car or in Jared’s small apartment, and Jensen was fine with how things were going between them. It’s not that he didn’t want Jared, didn’t want to make love with him, but this pace felt comfortable, felt right, and he didn’t want to push things. Especially since he got the feeling Jared was skittish about something, about taking things further, so he let the younger man take the lead. And now it looked like he was ready to lead them down another path that Jensen would gladly follow.
“Jen, I -“ Jared said thickly, and Jensen could feel the growing hardness of his arousal against his hip. “Do you wanna get out of here?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” Jensen grinned.
~~~~~
The ride back to Jared’s apartment above the restaurant was a blur, the only thing Jensen remembered was the feel of Jared’s hand on his thigh, the warmth soaking through his shorts and into his skin.
They went in through the patio gate and met Dominik on their way to the stairs, hurrying past the older man, who gave Jensen a knowing smile.
They couldn’t get up the stairs fast enough and were in each other’s arms the minute the door closed behind them, kissing deeply. They staggered over to the couch and collapsed onto it, Jensen on top of Jared.
Their kisses became more urgent now, heated, and Jensen was hard inside his boxer briefs, his heart pounding in his chest. He rocked his hips and Jared lifted his in response, sliding his cloth covered erection against Jensen’s, moaning into the kiss.
Jensen pulled back, raising up a bit, using one hand to ruck up the bottom of Jared’s t-shirt, exposing the smooth, tanned skin, intending on kissing every inch of it. But Jared jerked and pushed at Jensen’s shoulders.
“Stop, stop,” Jared said quickly, squirming underneath Jensen.
Confused, Jensen moved off of the younger man and Jared swiftly got up off the couch and stood facing away from Jensen.
“I’m sorry,” Jensen started to apologize. “I was going too fast…”
Jared turned around, a nervous, almost scared expression on his face. “No, no. It’s not you. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Jared assured him. “It’s me. There’s something I need to tell you. I should’ve told you awhile ago.”
A lead weight began to form in the pit of Jensen’s stomach, not knowing what Jared was going to say, but from the way he was acting it couldn’t be good and Jensen tried to brace himself.
Jared sighed, closed his eyes and pulled off his shirt, exposing his flat stomach and muscular chest…and a scar that ran down the length of it.
“I had heart surgery two years ago,” Jared said quietly. “I don’t like to tell people, because as soon as they know, they think of me as broken, start treating me differently. And I didn’t want that to happen with us.”
Jensen exhaled a loud breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding and stood up from the couch, crossing over to Jared. He ran his hands up Jared’s bare arms, smiling.
“Is that it?” Jensen asked. “I thought you were gonna tell me you were a woman or something.”
Jared couldn’t hold back his bark of surprised laughter at Jensen’s comment, breaking the tension in the room.
“But seriously,” Jensen continued. “You’ve more than shown me you’re anything but broken.”
“And this?” Jared touched his scar. “It’s so ugly. It’s why I was scared to take things further with us. I didn’t want you to see it.”
Jensen shook his head. “It’s proof that you’ve obviously beaten some tough odds, and that makes you the strongest person I know. You shouldn’t hide it.”
Jensen tipped his head up slightly and captured Jared’s mouth for a long, slow kiss, feeling the younger man’s long arms wrap around him and hold him tight.
Then Jared was moving, tugging Jensen the few short steps into his bedroom, nearly tripping over Sadie in the process, who was sprawled in the short hallway.
They stood next to the bed, Jensen’s fingers dancing over Jared’s bare skin, raising goose bumps.
Jensen’s voice was rough with desire. “I wanna touch all of you…taste all of you…”
Jared shivered. “God, Jen, please…” he breathed, cupping a hand around the back of Jensen’s neck, pulling him in for a deep kiss.
Jensen’s hands roamed over Jared’s back, feeling the muscles shift beneath his fingers, then went lower, under the waistband of Jared’s shorts and boxers. Jared moaned into the kiss as Jensen cupped his ass then pushed the clothing down over Jared’s hips to pool on the floor.
Jared pulled back from the kiss then, stepping out of the puddle of shorts and underwear, toeing off his shoes and laying back on the bed. Jensen’s breath caught at the sight of the tall, young man laid out bare before him, gloriously naked and achingly beautiful.
Jared reached out a hand. “C’mere, Jen, please…”
Jensen smiled gently at him, pausing to first remove his own clothes, feeling himself flush at the hungry look Jared was giving him, the other man biting his lower lip as he watched Jensen undress.
Finally naked as well, Jensen moved onto the bed, the thrill and excitement of ‘first time’ racing through his body, knowing instinctively it would be amazing with Jared.
Jared gathered him close as he sank down onto the mattress, lying on their sides, twin groans filling the air as they came in contact with each other so intimately for the first time, skin to skin.
“Feel so good,” Jared breathed, running one of his hands down Jensen’s back, to the swell of his ass, then back up again.
Jensen shifted restlessly against the younger man, his hard cock sliding against Jared’s hipbone as he kissed his way down the smooth column of Jared’s neck to the top of his shoulder. He rolled Jared onto his back then, his mouth tracing a path to a dusky nipple next. He licked across the nub and Jared’s breath stuttered, a large hand cupping the back of his head.
Taking the hint with a grin, Jensen laved Jared’s nipple, sucking gently until it hardened then tugging on it with his teeth. Jared jerked at that, head falling back harder into the pillow, so Jensen did it once more, a groan falling from Jared’s lips.
Moving lower, wanting to map every inch of the long, lean body beneath him, Jensen kissed across Jared’s abs, feeling his stomach muscles bunch. Now it was Jared’s turn to shift restlessly as Jensen kissed his way lower still, feeling Jared’s hard cock bump the underside of his chin, smearing wetness there.
Jensen raised his head up then, locking gazes with Jared and the younger man nodded, his hazel eyes dark now with desire, his breaths coming faster.
“Touch me, Jen…please…”
And Jensen did, wrapping his hand around Jared’s long, thick cock, so warm and heavy in his palm. He stroked Jared slowly, watching as Jared’s mouth fell open and his eyes slid shut.
“You feel amazing…” Jensen breathed, his thumb now brushing over the swollen head of Jared’s cock on the upstroke, gliding through the pre-come gathered at the tip.
Jensen took Jared’s heavy balls in his other hand, rolling them in their sac, fondling, tugging gently, getting an immediate reaction from Jared in the form of a deep groan.
“God, yeah, Jen…like that,” Jared panted, bucking his hips into Jensen’s grip.
Jensen shifted then, leaning over to take the tip of Jared’s cock in his mouth, craving the taste the other man.
“Christ!” Jared swore as Jensen took him deeper into his mouth, the younger man’s taste exploding across his tongue.
He bobbed his head then, sucking and stroking, swirling his tongue across the swollen head of Jared’s cock, then pressing it against the bundle of nerves below it. The sounds Jared was making went straight to Jensen’s own cock, making it throb, making Jensen want to touch himself. But he wanted to see Jared fall apart first, more than he wanted his own release.
“Jen, Jen,” Jared panted harshly, hands fisted in the sheets. “Nhhgh…god…feels so good…”
Jensen felt Jared’s balls start to tighten, draw up, just as Jared’s hips jerked and he sucked in a breath, all indications Jared’s climax was just about upon him. Jensen tasted a fresh burst of pre-come just as Jared pulled on his shoulder urgently. Confused, Jensen raised his head, letting Jared’s cock fall from his lips.
“Not yet…not yet,” Jared was shaking his head, a fine sheen of sweat at his hairline, tugging Jensen up his body. “C’mere…I wanna…” he trailed off, kissing Jensen hard and fast, rolling him onto his back.
Jared was a warm, heavy weight on top of Jensen and he wrapped his arms around him, the feel of Jared blanketing his body intoxicating. But then Jared was moving, breathing, “My turn,” against Jensen’s lips with a quirk of his eyebrow.
And like a mirror image of a few minutes before, Jared began exploring every inch of Jensen’s body with his hands and his mouth, sending shivers of desire through Jensen with every kiss, every lick, every touch.
“God, I love your hands,” Jensen panted as Jared trailed his long fingers down Jensen’s sides to his hips. It’d been so long since he’d been touched like this…
Crouched between Jensen’s bent legs, Jared smiled. “Good, ‘cause I never wanna stop touching you,” he replied, slowly running his large hands up Jensen’s legs then back down to his waist, up his chest then to tease Jensen’s flat nipples with his thumbs.
“Mmm,” Jensen practically purred at the touch, his skin tingling. “I love your mouth, too…” he trailed off with a grin.
“Oh do you now?” Jared smirked, turning his head to kiss the side of Jensen’s upturned knee, then went lower, licking and nipping at the inside of Jensen’s leg.
“Yeah, yeah,” Jensen encouraged him, Jared’s mouth getting ever closer to his hard, aching cock.
Then it was there, Jared’s tongue swiping across the leaking head and Jensen gasped, his breath catching in his throat.
“Jesus,” he moaned, watching as his cock slipped further into Jared’s hot, wet mouth, reaching out to tangle his fingers in Jared’s shaggy hair. He wanted to thrust so badly, unable to stop the short jerk of his hips, surprised when Jared encouraged the motion, humming around Jensen’s cock, lifting up on his hips.
Jensen slowly pumped his hips as Jared opened his mouth wider and it was damn near the most erotic thing Jensen had ever seen - his body flushed, legs spread wide, pushing his cock in and out of the mouth of a beautiful, naked man between his legs.
“Jared…Jared,” he groaned hoarsely, head dropping back, and the younger man sucked harder in reply. Jensen drew in a sharp breath at the increased pressure on his cock, the feel of his orgasm coiling deep in his gut.
“Oh god….just - just like that,” he moaned, his balls tightening, moving his hips faster now, so close to release.
Jared pulled off abruptly then, but before Jensen could protest, the taller man was pushing down Jensen’s legs, straddling them, his cock sliding against Jensen’s. Then Jensen whined in the back of his throat as Jared’s large hand and long fingers wrapped around both their cocks and started stroking.
“Like this,” Jared panted, leaning forward, bracing his other hand near Jensen’s head.
One of Jensen’s hands came up to grip Jared’s bicep while the other curled around Jared’s neck, fingers slipping up into his hair.
The pressure against Jensen’s cock was exquisite, being held so tightly against Jared’s own and he knew he wasn’t going to last, being so close to release already. He locked eyes with Jared, watching as the younger man’s pleasure climbed higher and higher with each stroke, till he was biting his lip, trying to prolong the feeling right before climax for as long as possible.
“I can’t - “ Jared finally gasped, body going taught on top of Jensen.
“God, do it,” Jensen ground out, determined to watch Jared come apart, to not miss a second of it before giving in to his own orgasm. “Wanna feel you come…”
Two more quick, sharp strokes was all it took, and Jared came with a shout from deep inside him, eyes closing as his release painted Jensen’s chest in thick, white ropes, splashing wetly against his skin.
The feel of Jared’s semen on him was Jensen’s undoing, and with a harsh cry of Jared’s name he gave in to the ecstasy and let go, his orgasm surging through him, coming long and hard.
On top of him, Jared moaned again as Jensen’s cock pulsed in his grip, and Jensen forced his eyes back open to see Jared looking down, watching as Jensen came, his semen mixing with Jared’s own on Jensen’s chest and stomach, still stroking Jensen’s cock.
Both men were breathing harshly, bodies trembling with aftershocks, when Jared released their softening cocks. For a long moment they didn’t move, then Jensen raised his head up and tenderly kissed Jared’s scar. The younger man made a choked off sound, then captured Jensen’s mouth for an achingly slow kiss that left them both breathless when they pulled apart long moments later.
Jensen’s heart was near to bursting with the intense feelings he had for this man, but words failed him, getting no further than a shaky, “Jared…” before he trailed off, unable to express himself.
But it was enough for the younger man, who smiled at him tenderly and nodded, whispering,. “Yeah…I know…”
~~~~~
A short time later they were cleaned up and lying quietly together underneath the sheets, limbs tangled up, Jensen’s head on Jared’s shoulder, a feeling of warmth and contentment spreading through him.
“I understand some of the things you said now,” Jensen murmured, hand resting over Jared’s heart, over his scar. “About not ever being on a plane, getting into acting only a couple years ago. And baseball, seeing how strong you are.”
Jared nodded. “I was sick since I was a kid and steadily got worse as I got older. I couldn’t run or do anything strenuous, so no sports. I was tired all the time, stuck in the house. That’s how I got into painting. I was good in art at school, so my granddad gave me a set of paints and brushes and I painted what I saw outside my window. He was brilliant for thinking of it. It kept me occupied and I really grew to love it. Speaking of which,” he paused, shifting out from underneath Jensen and rising from the bed, walking naked over to his closet. He opened the door and took out a canvas, bringing it back over to the bed.
He sat down next to Jensen and turned the canvas so he could see. It was a cowboy, sitting on top of a wooden fence, looking out at a group of horses and a breathtaking sunset.
“God, Jared, it’s beautiful.”
Jared smiled at the praise, showing his dimples. “It’s for you. So you’ll never forget what home looks like.”
Jensen reached up and cupped the side of Jared’s face. “Thank you,” he said simply, earnestly, but at the same time thinking that being here, with Jared, felt more like home now than Texas.
~~~~~
A few hours, and dozens of kisses later, Jensen left Jared to get changed and ready for his shift that evening at the restaurant. On his way out through the back he met Dominik, who followed him out into the patio area.
“How are you, Dominik?” Jensen asked with a smile.
“Ah, good, good,” the older man replied. “I see Jared gave you the painting.”
“Yeah,” Jensen grinned. “It’s amazing. He’s really, really talented.”
Dominik crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his head. “So. Things seem pretty serious between you and my grandson.”
Jensen smiled softly, reading between the lines. “If you’re asking me my intentions - I care about Jared a great deal. I haven’t felt this happy in a long time.”
That appeared to be the right thing to say, as Dominik replied, “And I haven’t seen Jared smile this much in years.” He reached out and clapped Jensen on the shoulder. “You boys. You’re good for each other.”
And Jensen couldn’t argue with that.
~~~~~
Jensen was in his trailer on set Monday morning, looking at his script, eager for his day to be over. His character was only needed in a few scenes today and he wanted to get home and clean the place up a bit because Jared was coming over for the first time tonight, to watch a couple of movies.
There was a knock on his door just as his cell phone rang, and Tom walked in as Jensen looked at the display on his phone - Riley’s agent.
“Hey, Lorraine,” Jensen answered, motioning for Tom to come in. “Tell me you’ve got some good news for me finally.”
“Well I hope you’re sitting down then,” Lorraine answered, “because Riley’s screenplay was just sold.”
Jensen’s mouth dropped open and he found himself speechless, his brain trying to process what Lorraine had just said.
“Jensen? You there?” Lorraine laughed.
“Um, yeah, yeah. God. I can’t - I can’t believe it.”
“Well believe it, because it’s true.” Jensen could hear her smiling over the phone. “Thanks for not giving up on this. Riley would be so thrilled. Stop by my office when you get the chance and we’ll go over all the details.”
“Yeah, I will. And Lorraine, thanks. I couldn’t have done this without your help.”
They said their goodbyes then and Jensen slowly closed his cell phone, staring at Tom blankly.
“Jensen? You okay?”
“It sold…” Jensen trailed off, letting the words finally sink in, a smile spreading across his face. “Riley’s screenplay. God, Tommy, it sold!”
Tom whooped and pulled Jensen into a fierce hug, slapping him on the back. “I knew it would finally happen!” he told Jensen with a grin. “Now this is cause for celebration. Mike and I are taking you out tonight. We’ll give you a call when we’re done filming. Where do you want to go?”
“Ah, man, Tom, I’d love to, but I’ve got plans with Jared tonight. He’s coming over to my place for the first time.” Jensen sat down on the arm of the couch behind him. “Wow…I just realized that I never even told him I was working on this screenplay. I’ve never even told him…about Riley.”
Tom sat down next to him. “Don’t beat yourself up about it. Jared’s just been at the forefront of your mind lately. And that’s not a bad thing. Just tell him tonight. Riley was an important part of your life for a long time. I’m sure Jared will think it’s really special that you kept working on this screenplay, to get it produced for Riley.”
Jensen nodded. “Yeah, I’ll tell him tonight,” he answered, excited about the screenplay, but nervous about telling Jared about the man he loved for so long.
~~~~~
Jensen ran down the stairs when he heard the doorbell ring and Harley’s excited barking that accompanied it. He took a breath, smoothed down his shirt, and opened the front door to find Jared standing there on his porch, smiling at him.
“Hey,” Jensen grinned, holding the door open for Jared, who stepped inside, greeting Jensen with a kiss.
“Hey yourself,” Jared said, reaching down to pet Harley, looking around the entryway with a smile.
Jensen led the way to the living room, gesturing to the couch, glancing quickly around, making sure he hadn’t missed a stray shirt or dog toy lying around.
“Make yourself comfortable,” he told Jared as he headed for the kitchen. “I’ll get the popcorn started.”
“Sure,” Jared nodded, smiling, starting to walk around the room. “This is a really nice place, Jen.”
“Thanks,” Jensen called back from the kitchen, grabbing the box of microwave popcorn from the pantry. He removed the last cellophane wrapped package and tossed the box in the garbage.
He blew out a long breath as he read the instructions and put the package of popcorn in the microwave, hitting a few buttons to start it cooking. His nerves were starting to get the best of him. He’d been thinking about it all day, and still didn’t quite know how to start talking about Riley.
A strange smell pulled him from his thoughts and he turned toward the microwave - to see smoke starting to seep out around the door.
“Whoa!” Jensen jumped, finger stabbing the Stop button, whipping open the door, the smell of burning cellophane assaulting his nose. Distracted by his thoughts, he hadn’t removed the plastic before putting the package in the microwave.
“Jen? Everything okay?”
Jensen sighed as he gingerly picked up the ruined popcorn package and dropped it in the trash. “Great,” he muttered, then louder, “Um, yeah, everything’s fine.”
With a sigh he opened the refrigerator and freezer, looking for something else suitable to eat while watching a movie, and nodded when he saw the half gallon of rocky road ice cream.
Walking toward the living room, Jensen stuck his head around the kitchen wall. “Hey, how ‘bout ice cream instead?” he asked, seeing Jared standing in front of one of his bookcases, staring at one of the shelves.
When Jared didn’t answer or turn to look at him, Jensen walked into the living room. “Jared? You want ice cream instead?” he asked again, coming to a stop next to the young man.
Jared slowly turned his head toward Jensen and Jensen immediately noticed how pale Jared suddenly looked.
“Hey, are you all right?” he asked, concerned, putting a hand on Jared’s upper arm.
Jensen saw Jared visibly swallow. “Who - who is this? In the picture with you?” Jared asked in a tight, strained voice, pointing at a framed photograph on the bookshelf.
Jensen turned to look, and saw himself and Riley, the blonde haired man standing behind Jensen, arms wrapped around him, matching smiles on both their faces.
And suddenly Jensen didn’t have to wonder any longer how to broach the subject of Riley with Jared.
With a sad smile Jensen took the photo down and rubbed his thumb over it, remembering the day it was taken, the day they both arrived in California.
“This is Riley,” Jensen started, voice quiet. “We met when we were both twenty-one, waiting tables in Richardson, each of us with our own dream of making it to California. I wanted to be an actor and Riley a screenplay writer.” Jensen paused and smiled softly. “We fell in love, and about a year later made it out here. We were together for four years. And then - “ Jensen took a shaky breath. “And then two years ago we were in a car accident. I made it out with some broken bones…but Riley was killed.”
Jensen looked away from the photo and up at Jared as he finished his story, and the younger man looked even worse than before, visibly shaken, his eyes bright with moisture. But before Jensen could say anything, Jared was backing away from him, turning quickly, his movements jerky, agitated in a way Jensen had never seen him.
“I’ve gotta go,” Jared suddenly said, voice rough, heading for the door.
“What? Why? Jared, what’s wrong?”
The words tumbled out of Jared’s mouth, tripping over one another. “I just - I just remembered that I’m supposed to be covering someone’s shift at the restaurant tonight. I’ve gotta go.”
Jared was moving fast, out of the living room and to the front door by the time Jensen set the picture frame back on the bookshelf.
“Jared, slow down!” he called out as the younger man threw open the door.
“I can’t. I’m sorry, I can’t,” Jared called back, voice breaking, not looking at Jensen as he practically ran for his car, parked at the curb.
It was as if Jared couldn’t get away from Jensen fast enough, his motions practically frantic as he tore open the car door and sped off down the street, leaving Jensen staring after his taillights, wondering what had just happened.
~~~~~
Jensen was a bundle of nerves by the time filming ended the following evening. Deeply concerned at Jared’s behavior the night before, Jensen spent every free minute he had on set calling the younger man’s cell phone. But Jared never answered, leaving Jensen with a sick feeling in his gut. He’d even called the restaurant and spoken with Dominik, but all the older gentleman would say was that Jared couldn’t come to the phone.
Jensen was at a loss as to what went wrong, but if it was something he’d said or done he wanted to fix it, whatever it was. Which is why he made a beeline for Padalecki’s the moment filming ended, desperate to see Jared, his heart pounding in his chest.
It was late by the time he arrived, nearly midnight, with thunder rumbling in the distance, a downpour threatening at any minute. The restaurant was closed, so he went in through the patio entrance and was startled to see Jared and Dominik sitting at the small table.
They looked up at his approach and Dominik rose from his chair, squeezing Jared’s shoulder. The older man looked at Jensen with an almost sympathetic expression before turning and leaving the garden area without a word.
Stomach twisting in knots, Jensen turned his attention to Jared, who also stood as Jensen stepped closer. The younger man looked completely wrecked, his normally bright hazel eyes dull, his body language radiating pain and sadness.
Not hesitating, Jensen pulled Jared to him, wrapping his arms around the taller man’s back and Jared practically sank into him, holding onto Jensen fiercely, burying his face in Jensen’s shoulder.
“Jared, you’re scaring the shit out of me. Please…what’s wrong?”
For a long moment Jared simply held onto Jensen, before drawing in an unsteady breath and straightening up, moving back from Jensen a step.
Jared’s voice was rough when he spoke. “I’m leaving.”
Jensen’s brows drew together in confusion, his mouth suddenly dry. “What do you mean you’re leaving? Why?”
“So you won’t be reminded,” Jared said quietly.
Jensen shook his head. “Of what? Jared, you’re not making any sense.”
“I didn’t just have heart surgery, Jen. I had a transplant. And this…” Jared’s voice shook as he held out a photograph with a folded piece of paper beneath it. “This was the donor.”
Jensen felt the world drop out beneath his feet as he took the offered items -- and saw Riley Marshall’s smiling face staring up at him from the photograph.
“I didn’t know. I swear to god I didn’t know.” Jared’s words were thick, his voice breaking. “Not until I saw his picture in your house. I wrote a letter to the donor agency after I got out of the hospital and they sent it on to Riley’s family. They wrote back and sent his photo.” Jared went to reach out, but let his hand fall, eyes filling with unshed tears. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”
A sharp crack of lightning and Jensen jumped, startled out of his stupor. His throat worked convulsively, trying to get past the sudden lump of emotion as he looked from the photo to Jared. “I…I gotta go. I gotta go…”
Then he was backing away, turning and practically sprinting for his Jeep, leaving a heartbroken young man standing in the garden.
~~~~~
The only thing Jensen remembered of the drive back to his house was the rain, coming down in sheets, and struggling to hold himself together long enough to get home and give in to the emotions threatening to overwhelm him.
He was barely in the front door when the first tear broke free and he stumbled upstairs to the bedroom, collapsing onto the mattress in his soaking wet clothes. He stared at the photo of Riley that Jared had given him, his mind nearly unable to comprehend the events of tonight - Riley’s heart was inside Jared.
Just when he was finally starting to come to terms with Riley’s death, just when he was finally starting to move on - what kind of cruel, sick joke was this??
His breath hitched as memories of he and Riley flooded his mind and he didn’t try to stifle his sobs, his tears falling like the rain outside his window.
~~~~~
Hours later the ringing of Jensen’s cell phone pulled him from the exhausted sleep he had fallen into around 1 am, still dressed in his rain damp clothes, his shoes still on.
His head felt thick and heavy and there was a dull pounding behind his red-rimmed, swollen eyes as he pried them open and sluggishly moved to remove his cell phone from his pocket.
But his movements were too slow and the call went to voice mail before he could answer it, his eyes catching the time on the display as he flipped the phone open - 5:02 am.
It was Kim Manners on the voice mail, letting him know he was getting a rare day off, as the rain was still coming down, ruining any chance of their location filming today. Jensen sighed gratefully as he deleted the message, thanking the weather, as he didn’t have enough energy to even get out of bed this morning, let alone go into work.
He tossed his phone on the bed and ran a weary hand over his face, turning his head on the pillow, spying Riley’s photograph and the piece of paper in the gray morning light, lying next to him.
Jensen reached out tentatively and picked up the piece of paper, unfolding it slowly. He immediately realized it was a copy of the letter that Jared had written to Riley’s parents.
Dear Donor Family: I hope this letter may be of some comfort, although words cannot express the depth of my gratitude. I am eternally grateful for the thoughtfulness you and your loved ones have given me in your moment of deepest sorrow. I awake each day feeling the gentle rhythm of the heart that beats inside me. It is because of you I am alive today. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers. I thank you and God bless.
Jensen swallowed deeply and put the letter aside. He hadn’t known a thing about any of this. After the accident and the coma he had fallen into, Riley’s body had already been buried back in Texas by the time he awoke. It was nearly a month later before Jensen could make himself go back to Richardson and visit Riley’s grave, and his parents. They said nothing to him about organ donation and it wasn’t something he and Riley had ever talked about themselves. They were only in their 20’s and were going to live forever, right?
Jensen rolled his head on the pillow, catching sight of the painting Jared had done for him, that he had hung on the wall that faced the foot of his bed.
It was a long, long time later before Jensen could take his eyes off of it, to reach for his cell phone.
“Tom?” he said, voice scratchy and worn out. “It’s Jensen. Can you come by today? I really need to talk to someone…”
~~~~~
“Wow.” Tom shook his head slowly. “Just…wow.”
It was early afternoon in Jensen’s living room, the scattered remains of Chinese food Tom had brought on the coffee table, the men sitting side by side on the couch, Jensen having just finished telling his friend the whole story.
Jensen nodded his head. “Yeah,” he mumbled, giving a tired sigh.
Tom reached over and put an arm around Jensen’s shoulders as Jensen dropped his head into his hands, voice unsteady.
“What the hell am I gonna do?”
~~~~~
Three days later, on Saturday, Jensen walked off set, checking his voice mail as he made his way toward craft services for lunch. Jensen hated filming on the weekends, but since they’d lost a day this week because of the rain, here they were today, filming on location on the streets of Los Angeles.
Jensen sat down at one of the small tables under the tent craft services had set up and listened to the two messages he had. The first was from Lorraine. He’d stopped by her office on Thursday to go over the contract for Riley’s screenplay, to get all the details taken care of so things could proceed. She was calling to tell him that her late meeting with the studio on Friday went well and the sale was a done deal.
Jensen smiled softly, and a bit sadly, as he deleted the message. Riley’s dream was finally about to become reality. If only he was here to see it happen.
The next message was a definite surprise. It was Dominik, asking Jensen to please stop by the restaurant tonight if he could, he’d like to talk to him.
Jensen sighed as he deleted the message. Did he feel up to talking to Jared’s grandfather?
“Dude!”
Mike’s voice caught his attention and he turned his head.
“Stop staring at your phone and come get some chow!”
Jensen took a last look at his phone then put it in his jacket pocket as he stood. “You’d better save me some pie, baldy!”
~~~~~
Jensen pulled up in front of Padalecki’s a little after closing time that night and knocked on the front door of the restaurant. After a moment Dominik came to the door and gave him a small smile, gesturing for him to come in.
“It’s good to see you,” the older man said, locking the door back up again. “I’m glad you came.”
Jensen nodded, glancing around. “Is - is Jared here?”
Dominik shook his head. “No, son, he’s gone. Left yesterday.”
Jensen glanced down to the floor, then back up again. “Did he go up to Vancouver?” he asked.
Dominik nodded and reached out and lightly grasped Jensen’s arm. “Come on. Let’s go talk.”
The white haired man led Jensen outside, into the patio, where he sat down in one of the two chairs and Jensen sat down heavily in the other. Dominik leaned forward, his forearms resting on his legs, his eyes serious.
“This is none of my business,” Dominik began. “But I felt the need to tell you a few things.”
Jensen nodded. “Go ahead.”
Dominik tilted his head. “Jared had waited nearly his entire life to get on an airplane and travel somewhere for the first time. It was all he could talk about doing after his long recovery from the transplant. But when he got on that plane yesterday, there was no joy in his eyes, no excitement. Only sadness. Because he didn’t want to leave. But he couldn’t stand the thought of causing you pain every time you looked at him.”
Dominik paused, his voice quiet. “I know that what's happened has been... overwhelming. And I know it's going to take you a good while to sort it all out. But while you're sorting, I want you to remember that in all the times I prayed that Jared would have a second chance at life, I always knew that if God blessed us, the heart he got would have to be from a very special person if it were going to be at home in Jared.”
The older man reached out, touched Jensen’s arm. “When he met you, his heart beat truly for the first time. Perhaps it was meant to be with you always.”
Then Dominik stood, squeezed Jensen’s arm and walked back into the restaurant.
Jensen sat quietly in the chair, letting Dominik’s words sink in, thinking how similar they were to his own thoughts. For he’d spent the last three days thinking about Jared, about Riley. Trying to reconcile all this in his mind. Could he look at Jared and not see Riley every single time instead? That would never be fair to Jared, to be with him for the wrong reasons, using him as a stand-in for Riley. Jensen needed to decide if he wanted to stay in the past with his memory of Riley, or move forward into the future with Jared.
Movement from the corner of the garden caught Jensen’s eye. It was Sadie, getting up from where she’d been laying under one of the trees. She walked over to Jensen and laid her head in his lap, looking up at him with wide, brown eyes.
Jensen sighed, petting the dog softly. “Yeah, I miss him, too, girl. I miss him, too.”
~~~~~
Sunday morning dawned clear and bright, Jensen laying in his bed with Harley, rubbing the dog’s stomach, his eyes once again on Jared’s painting, feeling a deep ache start inside him.
Decision made, his heart already feeling lighter, he reached for the phone on the bedside table.
“Dominik? Hi, it’s Jensen…”
~~~~~
Two days later a cab pulled up in front of the Renaissance Hotel in Vancouver, and Jensen emerged into the sunshine, breathing in the fresh mountain air of Canada, a smile on his face.
He strode in through the large glass doors and straight to the front desk, where the receptionist, whose nametag read Mai Ling, asked if she could help him.
“Yes, please. Can you ring Jared Padalecki’s room? Tell him Jensen is here.”
“Of course, sir. Just one moment please,” she answered, looking up Jared’s name in the computer, then dialing the phone.
After a moment she shook her head. “I’m sorry, sir, but Mr. Padalecki isn’t in his room. You might try checking in our restaurant or out on the patio area,” she suggested.
Jensen nodded. “I will, thanks,” he replied, walking off toward the restaurant.
A quick scan of the interior failed to turn up Jared, so Jensen headed in the direction of the patio, which was in the back of the hotel, facing the water and the mountains.
He was about to push open the glass door when he spied a young man sitting by himself off to the side, an easel and blank canvas in front of him, staring at the mountains.
And Jensen saw…Jared. Just Jared. Not a ghost image of Riley.
He missed Riley and he knew he would always miss him, but Riley’s last act had been to give the gift of life to Jared, and somehow, some way, he had also found a way to bring Jared into his life. To give Jensen someone to love who would love him in return, to be happy, to go on. Call it fate or unbelievable coincidence that this had happened, but Jensen knew this was right, he and Jared, and he knew Riley was smiling down on him, looking out for Jensen even after death.
With a deep breath to calm his pounding heart, Jensen pushed open the door and walked out onto the patio, watching as Jared gave a sigh and bowed his head, tossing his unused paintbrush into his bag of supplies.
“Artistic block?”
Jared turned so fast at Jensen’s words the stool he was sitting on started to topple over and he jumped to his feet, mouth open in surprise.
Jared stared at Jensen for several heartbeats, just blinking, before he found his voice.
“You - you came all the way to Vancouver?” the younger man asked, hope coloring his words.
Jensen smiled and nodded, stepping closer to the taller man. “Yeah, I did. I came all the way to Vancouver. For you.” He reached up and curled a hand around the back of Jared’s neck, fingers sliding through the soft strands of the younger man’s hair.
Jensen swallowed past the emotion in his throat, his chest clenching as he spoke the words that came from deep inside him.
“I love you, Jared.”
Jared’s arms were around him in the blink of an eye, pulling their bodies flush against each other, Jared’s mouth against Jensen’s ear.
“Oh god, Jen. God. I love - I love you, too…”
Their lips met a moment later, and god, it had only been a week since Jensen had been in Jared’s arms like this, kissing, holding on to one another, but it felt like a lifetime. Jensen let the soft, slow kiss speak for him, saying I missed you, everything’s okay now, I want to be with you…
The kiss ended gradually, but they didn’t let go of each other, Jared’s hands tangled in the back of Jensen’s t-shirt, one of Jensen’s hands running slowly up and down Jared’s long back.
“So,” Jensen started. “Is Vancouver what you hoped it would be?”
“I haven’t really been seeing it,” Jared answered. “Been sitting and thinking about you. But now?” He smiled, dimples showing, looking directly at Jensen. “Yeah, it’s beautiful,” he whispered, before claiming Jensen’s mouth for another long kiss.
Again they let the kiss end slowly, still in each other’s arms, neither ready to move from their embrace quite yet.
Jensen cocked his head to the side, grinned at Jared. “After you’ve gotten your fill of Canada and come home, I might know of a way to get your budding acting career off the ground. I heard about this new science fiction movie that’s going into production that’s gonna need a young guy like you in the lead part.”
Jared’s eyebrows raised, intrigued. “Oh? How’d you find out?”
Jensen smiled. “I’ll tell you all about it later. But right now…” He trailed off, stepping back from Jared just a bit, bending over slightly, resting his head on Jared’s chest, listening to the heart that beat strong and sure beneath his ear.
Jared made a soft sound, his hand cupping the back of Jensen’s head, and Jensen closed his eyes with a quiet sigh…and smiled.
THE END
Author: agt_spooky
Pairing: Jensen/Jared, brief Jensen/OMC
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 15,544 (total for both parts)
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: It’s RPS, people. It never happened, but I wish it would. :-)
Author’s Notes: Many thanks, as always, to my fabulous beta, charityfliint who always makes my stories better. :-)
Summary: Written for the abouttwoboys fic challenge. The movie I claimed was Return To Me. While this is not a word-for-word, scene-for-scene retelling of the film (because I just think that would be boring, you could just rent the movie!) the main plot is still the same, and so is some of the dialogue.
So without further ado, here is Return To Me, J2 style. :-)
(banner created by agt_spooky)
PART TWO
~~~~~
The next two weeks flew by in a blur of happiness for Jensen.
His filming hours could be crazy, but whenever he had the time, he was with Jared. Not only had he and Jared hit it off, but so had Harley and Sadie. Jensen brought Harley over one weekend and they took the dogs to the park, letting them romp and play while their owners lazed on a blanket, trading kisses under the warm California sun.
They went to dinner again, and a movie afterwards, where they sat in the back and ate popcorn from the same tub and held hands and made out like a couple of teenagers.
Jensen introduced Jared to his favorite sport - golf - and in a matter of minutes it was apparent this was not going to be Jared’s sport as well. Though he certainly dressed the part, with his pink polo and khaki shorts, looking like a pro.
But on the course, it was a different story. Jared’s long legs and arms just didn’t seem to be coordinated enough to get the ball to go where it needed to.
He hooked the ball, he sliced the ball and he swung the club like a baseball bat. He nearly decapitated an unsuspecting woman on the hole next to theirs when one of the balls went wild, and probably killed some poor woodland creature when one of his shots rocketed into the rough.
After Jared lost five balls in a water hazard on the same hole, then proceeded to bury one ball so badly in a sand trap that he couldn’t find it, Jensen called it quits after only six holes, laughing so hard he could barely breathe.
They did finally figure out Jared’s ineptitude on the golf course, though, after Jensen took the club away from him before he maimed someone.
“The ball goes left, the ball goes right. My god, do you even know what ‘straight’ means?” Jensen laughed.
Jared threw up his arms. “Well there’s the problem right there!” he exclaimed, moving in close to Jensen, hooking an arm around his waist and hauling him in. “I have no idea what ‘straight’ means,” he smirked, then proceeded to kiss Jensen breathless.
It was the best game of golf Jensen had ever played.
In retaliation for the golf outing, Jared dragged Jensen to the batting cages the next afternoon, where he watched Jared smash ten pitches in a row with ease.
“Damn,” Jensen commented as the last ball hit the far side of the cages. “Let me guess; you were the star player on your high school team?”
Jared shook his head as he stepped out and removed his batting helmet. “Nope. Didn’t get into this until a couple years ago. I just like coming out here and smashing the ball, see how strong I am,” he grinned, handing Jensen the bat and helmet. “Now let’s see how strong you are.”
Jensen sighed as he put the batting helmet on and hefted the unfamiliar weight of the bat in his hands, taking a few practice swings.
Jared grimaced as he swung one more time. “Well I certainly know you didn’t play ball in school!” he laughed.
“I was a cheerleader,” Jensen mumbled, feeling his face go hot.
“What was that? You were what?”
Jensen sighed and tipped the bat down. “I was a cheerleader,” he said louder.
Jared tried to hide his smile behind his hand and failed miserably. “Betcha musta looked awfully damn cute with those pom-poms, Jen,” he smirked.
“Go ahead, laugh it up,” Jensen nodded, advancing on Jared. “But I’ll have you know that cheerleaders are revered in Texas. Forget the baseball team and the football team. We were the ones beating the girls, and guys,” he smirked, “off with a stick. Everybody wanted us cheerleaders,” he finished smugly with a hint of a grin.
“I guess you’re right,” Jared agreed, looping an arm around Jensen’s waist, pulling him close. “’cause god knows I want you,” he growled, dipping his head for a kiss, succeeding only in knocking his forehead into the brim of Jensen’s hard batting helmet.
Jared pulled back with a grimace, rubbing his forehead while Jensen laughed. “That’ll teach you to mock a cheerleader,” he smirked, walking into the cage and shutting the gate.
“Yeah, well we’ll see who’s laughing in a minute,” Jared replied, slipping the money into the slot and the pitching machine whirred to life.
And four pitches later, it was indeed Jared who was laughing. Jensen managed to completely miss the first three pitches and fouled a fourth one straight back that would’ve taken off Jared’s head if not for the net.
Jensen was ready for the fifth one, though, confident he was getting his timing right. But instead he fouled that one off, too, this time straight up…and straight back down, hitting himself in the head.
“God, stop, stop!” Jared wheezed. “You’re gonna take someone’s eye out!”
Jensen gave him a dirty look as the machine shut off, removing his batting helmet and tossing it to the ground as Jared stepped into the cage, standing directly behind Jensen.
“Your problem is, you still think you’re playing golf,” he patiently told Jensen. “You gotta adjust your stance…like this…” he explained, putting his hands on Jensen’s hips and turning him slightly.
Jensen felt the heat of Jared’s body behind him, the younger man’s groin just brushing up against him and he leaned back, just a little bit, bringing them into closer contact.
Jared’s voice was a low rumble in Jensen’s ear. “Mmm-hmm…just like that,” he breathed, hands tightening on Jensen’s hips, his own pressing more firmly against Jensen’s body.
“Now bring your arms up,” Jared instructed in the same low voice that was sending shivers through Jensen’s body.
Jensen complied, but dropped the bat, bringing one of his arms up to wrap around Jared’s neck, turning his head to kiss the taller man. Jensen’s t-shirt had ridden up as he raised his arm, and Jared’s fingers skimmed up his side, up under the shirt and Jensen moaned into the kiss.
Jared’s fingers dipped down then, just under the waistband of Jensen’s track shorts and Jensen broke the kiss with a breathless, “Jared…” turning to face the younger man.
And there. There it was in Jared’s eyes. That spark of desire, of want, that Jensen had been waiting to see.
They’d been taking things slowly these last two weeks, not having gone further than heavy make out sessions in Jensen’s car or in Jared’s small apartment, and Jensen was fine with how things were going between them. It’s not that he didn’t want Jared, didn’t want to make love with him, but this pace felt comfortable, felt right, and he didn’t want to push things. Especially since he got the feeling Jared was skittish about something, about taking things further, so he let the younger man take the lead. And now it looked like he was ready to lead them down another path that Jensen would gladly follow.
“Jen, I -“ Jared said thickly, and Jensen could feel the growing hardness of his arousal against his hip. “Do you wanna get out of here?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” Jensen grinned.
~~~~~
The ride back to Jared’s apartment above the restaurant was a blur, the only thing Jensen remembered was the feel of Jared’s hand on his thigh, the warmth soaking through his shorts and into his skin.
They went in through the patio gate and met Dominik on their way to the stairs, hurrying past the older man, who gave Jensen a knowing smile.
They couldn’t get up the stairs fast enough and were in each other’s arms the minute the door closed behind them, kissing deeply. They staggered over to the couch and collapsed onto it, Jensen on top of Jared.
Their kisses became more urgent now, heated, and Jensen was hard inside his boxer briefs, his heart pounding in his chest. He rocked his hips and Jared lifted his in response, sliding his cloth covered erection against Jensen’s, moaning into the kiss.
Jensen pulled back, raising up a bit, using one hand to ruck up the bottom of Jared’s t-shirt, exposing the smooth, tanned skin, intending on kissing every inch of it. But Jared jerked and pushed at Jensen’s shoulders.
“Stop, stop,” Jared said quickly, squirming underneath Jensen.
Confused, Jensen moved off of the younger man and Jared swiftly got up off the couch and stood facing away from Jensen.
“I’m sorry,” Jensen started to apologize. “I was going too fast…”
Jared turned around, a nervous, almost scared expression on his face. “No, no. It’s not you. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Jared assured him. “It’s me. There’s something I need to tell you. I should’ve told you awhile ago.”
A lead weight began to form in the pit of Jensen’s stomach, not knowing what Jared was going to say, but from the way he was acting it couldn’t be good and Jensen tried to brace himself.
Jared sighed, closed his eyes and pulled off his shirt, exposing his flat stomach and muscular chest…and a scar that ran down the length of it.
“I had heart surgery two years ago,” Jared said quietly. “I don’t like to tell people, because as soon as they know, they think of me as broken, start treating me differently. And I didn’t want that to happen with us.”
Jensen exhaled a loud breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding and stood up from the couch, crossing over to Jared. He ran his hands up Jared’s bare arms, smiling.
“Is that it?” Jensen asked. “I thought you were gonna tell me you were a woman or something.”
Jared couldn’t hold back his bark of surprised laughter at Jensen’s comment, breaking the tension in the room.
“But seriously,” Jensen continued. “You’ve more than shown me you’re anything but broken.”
“And this?” Jared touched his scar. “It’s so ugly. It’s why I was scared to take things further with us. I didn’t want you to see it.”
Jensen shook his head. “It’s proof that you’ve obviously beaten some tough odds, and that makes you the strongest person I know. You shouldn’t hide it.”
Jensen tipped his head up slightly and captured Jared’s mouth for a long, slow kiss, feeling the younger man’s long arms wrap around him and hold him tight.
Then Jared was moving, tugging Jensen the few short steps into his bedroom, nearly tripping over Sadie in the process, who was sprawled in the short hallway.
They stood next to the bed, Jensen’s fingers dancing over Jared’s bare skin, raising goose bumps.
Jensen’s voice was rough with desire. “I wanna touch all of you…taste all of you…”
Jared shivered. “God, Jen, please…” he breathed, cupping a hand around the back of Jensen’s neck, pulling him in for a deep kiss.
Jensen’s hands roamed over Jared’s back, feeling the muscles shift beneath his fingers, then went lower, under the waistband of Jared’s shorts and boxers. Jared moaned into the kiss as Jensen cupped his ass then pushed the clothing down over Jared’s hips to pool on the floor.
Jared pulled back from the kiss then, stepping out of the puddle of shorts and underwear, toeing off his shoes and laying back on the bed. Jensen’s breath caught at the sight of the tall, young man laid out bare before him, gloriously naked and achingly beautiful.
Jared reached out a hand. “C’mere, Jen, please…”
Jensen smiled gently at him, pausing to first remove his own clothes, feeling himself flush at the hungry look Jared was giving him, the other man biting his lower lip as he watched Jensen undress.
Finally naked as well, Jensen moved onto the bed, the thrill and excitement of ‘first time’ racing through his body, knowing instinctively it would be amazing with Jared.
Jared gathered him close as he sank down onto the mattress, lying on their sides, twin groans filling the air as they came in contact with each other so intimately for the first time, skin to skin.
“Feel so good,” Jared breathed, running one of his hands down Jensen’s back, to the swell of his ass, then back up again.
Jensen shifted restlessly against the younger man, his hard cock sliding against Jared’s hipbone as he kissed his way down the smooth column of Jared’s neck to the top of his shoulder. He rolled Jared onto his back then, his mouth tracing a path to a dusky nipple next. He licked across the nub and Jared’s breath stuttered, a large hand cupping the back of his head.
Taking the hint with a grin, Jensen laved Jared’s nipple, sucking gently until it hardened then tugging on it with his teeth. Jared jerked at that, head falling back harder into the pillow, so Jensen did it once more, a groan falling from Jared’s lips.
Moving lower, wanting to map every inch of the long, lean body beneath him, Jensen kissed across Jared’s abs, feeling his stomach muscles bunch. Now it was Jared’s turn to shift restlessly as Jensen kissed his way lower still, feeling Jared’s hard cock bump the underside of his chin, smearing wetness there.
Jensen raised his head up then, locking gazes with Jared and the younger man nodded, his hazel eyes dark now with desire, his breaths coming faster.
“Touch me, Jen…please…”
And Jensen did, wrapping his hand around Jared’s long, thick cock, so warm and heavy in his palm. He stroked Jared slowly, watching as Jared’s mouth fell open and his eyes slid shut.
“You feel amazing…” Jensen breathed, his thumb now brushing over the swollen head of Jared’s cock on the upstroke, gliding through the pre-come gathered at the tip.
Jensen took Jared’s heavy balls in his other hand, rolling them in their sac, fondling, tugging gently, getting an immediate reaction from Jared in the form of a deep groan.
“God, yeah, Jen…like that,” Jared panted, bucking his hips into Jensen’s grip.
Jensen shifted then, leaning over to take the tip of Jared’s cock in his mouth, craving the taste the other man.
“Christ!” Jared swore as Jensen took him deeper into his mouth, the younger man’s taste exploding across his tongue.
He bobbed his head then, sucking and stroking, swirling his tongue across the swollen head of Jared’s cock, then pressing it against the bundle of nerves below it. The sounds Jared was making went straight to Jensen’s own cock, making it throb, making Jensen want to touch himself. But he wanted to see Jared fall apart first, more than he wanted his own release.
“Jen, Jen,” Jared panted harshly, hands fisted in the sheets. “Nhhgh…god…feels so good…”
Jensen felt Jared’s balls start to tighten, draw up, just as Jared’s hips jerked and he sucked in a breath, all indications Jared’s climax was just about upon him. Jensen tasted a fresh burst of pre-come just as Jared pulled on his shoulder urgently. Confused, Jensen raised his head, letting Jared’s cock fall from his lips.
“Not yet…not yet,” Jared was shaking his head, a fine sheen of sweat at his hairline, tugging Jensen up his body. “C’mere…I wanna…” he trailed off, kissing Jensen hard and fast, rolling him onto his back.
Jared was a warm, heavy weight on top of Jensen and he wrapped his arms around him, the feel of Jared blanketing his body intoxicating. But then Jared was moving, breathing, “My turn,” against Jensen’s lips with a quirk of his eyebrow.
And like a mirror image of a few minutes before, Jared began exploring every inch of Jensen’s body with his hands and his mouth, sending shivers of desire through Jensen with every kiss, every lick, every touch.
“God, I love your hands,” Jensen panted as Jared trailed his long fingers down Jensen’s sides to his hips. It’d been so long since he’d been touched like this…
Crouched between Jensen’s bent legs, Jared smiled. “Good, ‘cause I never wanna stop touching you,” he replied, slowly running his large hands up Jensen’s legs then back down to his waist, up his chest then to tease Jensen’s flat nipples with his thumbs.
“Mmm,” Jensen practically purred at the touch, his skin tingling. “I love your mouth, too…” he trailed off with a grin.
“Oh do you now?” Jared smirked, turning his head to kiss the side of Jensen’s upturned knee, then went lower, licking and nipping at the inside of Jensen’s leg.
“Yeah, yeah,” Jensen encouraged him, Jared’s mouth getting ever closer to his hard, aching cock.
Then it was there, Jared’s tongue swiping across the leaking head and Jensen gasped, his breath catching in his throat.
“Jesus,” he moaned, watching as his cock slipped further into Jared’s hot, wet mouth, reaching out to tangle his fingers in Jared’s shaggy hair. He wanted to thrust so badly, unable to stop the short jerk of his hips, surprised when Jared encouraged the motion, humming around Jensen’s cock, lifting up on his hips.
Jensen slowly pumped his hips as Jared opened his mouth wider and it was damn near the most erotic thing Jensen had ever seen - his body flushed, legs spread wide, pushing his cock in and out of the mouth of a beautiful, naked man between his legs.
“Jared…Jared,” he groaned hoarsely, head dropping back, and the younger man sucked harder in reply. Jensen drew in a sharp breath at the increased pressure on his cock, the feel of his orgasm coiling deep in his gut.
“Oh god….just - just like that,” he moaned, his balls tightening, moving his hips faster now, so close to release.
Jared pulled off abruptly then, but before Jensen could protest, the taller man was pushing down Jensen’s legs, straddling them, his cock sliding against Jensen’s. Then Jensen whined in the back of his throat as Jared’s large hand and long fingers wrapped around both their cocks and started stroking.
“Like this,” Jared panted, leaning forward, bracing his other hand near Jensen’s head.
One of Jensen’s hands came up to grip Jared’s bicep while the other curled around Jared’s neck, fingers slipping up into his hair.
The pressure against Jensen’s cock was exquisite, being held so tightly against Jared’s own and he knew he wasn’t going to last, being so close to release already. He locked eyes with Jared, watching as the younger man’s pleasure climbed higher and higher with each stroke, till he was biting his lip, trying to prolong the feeling right before climax for as long as possible.
“I can’t - “ Jared finally gasped, body going taught on top of Jensen.
“God, do it,” Jensen ground out, determined to watch Jared come apart, to not miss a second of it before giving in to his own orgasm. “Wanna feel you come…”
Two more quick, sharp strokes was all it took, and Jared came with a shout from deep inside him, eyes closing as his release painted Jensen’s chest in thick, white ropes, splashing wetly against his skin.
The feel of Jared’s semen on him was Jensen’s undoing, and with a harsh cry of Jared’s name he gave in to the ecstasy and let go, his orgasm surging through him, coming long and hard.
On top of him, Jared moaned again as Jensen’s cock pulsed in his grip, and Jensen forced his eyes back open to see Jared looking down, watching as Jensen came, his semen mixing with Jared’s own on Jensen’s chest and stomach, still stroking Jensen’s cock.
Both men were breathing harshly, bodies trembling with aftershocks, when Jared released their softening cocks. For a long moment they didn’t move, then Jensen raised his head up and tenderly kissed Jared’s scar. The younger man made a choked off sound, then captured Jensen’s mouth for an achingly slow kiss that left them both breathless when they pulled apart long moments later.
Jensen’s heart was near to bursting with the intense feelings he had for this man, but words failed him, getting no further than a shaky, “Jared…” before he trailed off, unable to express himself.
But it was enough for the younger man, who smiled at him tenderly and nodded, whispering,. “Yeah…I know…”
~~~~~
A short time later they were cleaned up and lying quietly together underneath the sheets, limbs tangled up, Jensen’s head on Jared’s shoulder, a feeling of warmth and contentment spreading through him.
“I understand some of the things you said now,” Jensen murmured, hand resting over Jared’s heart, over his scar. “About not ever being on a plane, getting into acting only a couple years ago. And baseball, seeing how strong you are.”
Jared nodded. “I was sick since I was a kid and steadily got worse as I got older. I couldn’t run or do anything strenuous, so no sports. I was tired all the time, stuck in the house. That’s how I got into painting. I was good in art at school, so my granddad gave me a set of paints and brushes and I painted what I saw outside my window. He was brilliant for thinking of it. It kept me occupied and I really grew to love it. Speaking of which,” he paused, shifting out from underneath Jensen and rising from the bed, walking naked over to his closet. He opened the door and took out a canvas, bringing it back over to the bed.
He sat down next to Jensen and turned the canvas so he could see. It was a cowboy, sitting on top of a wooden fence, looking out at a group of horses and a breathtaking sunset.
“God, Jared, it’s beautiful.”
Jared smiled at the praise, showing his dimples. “It’s for you. So you’ll never forget what home looks like.”
Jensen reached up and cupped the side of Jared’s face. “Thank you,” he said simply, earnestly, but at the same time thinking that being here, with Jared, felt more like home now than Texas.
~~~~~
A few hours, and dozens of kisses later, Jensen left Jared to get changed and ready for his shift that evening at the restaurant. On his way out through the back he met Dominik, who followed him out into the patio area.
“How are you, Dominik?” Jensen asked with a smile.
“Ah, good, good,” the older man replied. “I see Jared gave you the painting.”
“Yeah,” Jensen grinned. “It’s amazing. He’s really, really talented.”
Dominik crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his head. “So. Things seem pretty serious between you and my grandson.”
Jensen smiled softly, reading between the lines. “If you’re asking me my intentions - I care about Jared a great deal. I haven’t felt this happy in a long time.”
That appeared to be the right thing to say, as Dominik replied, “And I haven’t seen Jared smile this much in years.” He reached out and clapped Jensen on the shoulder. “You boys. You’re good for each other.”
And Jensen couldn’t argue with that.
~~~~~
Jensen was in his trailer on set Monday morning, looking at his script, eager for his day to be over. His character was only needed in a few scenes today and he wanted to get home and clean the place up a bit because Jared was coming over for the first time tonight, to watch a couple of movies.
There was a knock on his door just as his cell phone rang, and Tom walked in as Jensen looked at the display on his phone - Riley’s agent.
“Hey, Lorraine,” Jensen answered, motioning for Tom to come in. “Tell me you’ve got some good news for me finally.”
“Well I hope you’re sitting down then,” Lorraine answered, “because Riley’s screenplay was just sold.”
Jensen’s mouth dropped open and he found himself speechless, his brain trying to process what Lorraine had just said.
“Jensen? You there?” Lorraine laughed.
“Um, yeah, yeah. God. I can’t - I can’t believe it.”
“Well believe it, because it’s true.” Jensen could hear her smiling over the phone. “Thanks for not giving up on this. Riley would be so thrilled. Stop by my office when you get the chance and we’ll go over all the details.”
“Yeah, I will. And Lorraine, thanks. I couldn’t have done this without your help.”
They said their goodbyes then and Jensen slowly closed his cell phone, staring at Tom blankly.
“Jensen? You okay?”
“It sold…” Jensen trailed off, letting the words finally sink in, a smile spreading across his face. “Riley’s screenplay. God, Tommy, it sold!”
Tom whooped and pulled Jensen into a fierce hug, slapping him on the back. “I knew it would finally happen!” he told Jensen with a grin. “Now this is cause for celebration. Mike and I are taking you out tonight. We’ll give you a call when we’re done filming. Where do you want to go?”
“Ah, man, Tom, I’d love to, but I’ve got plans with Jared tonight. He’s coming over to my place for the first time.” Jensen sat down on the arm of the couch behind him. “Wow…I just realized that I never even told him I was working on this screenplay. I’ve never even told him…about Riley.”
Tom sat down next to him. “Don’t beat yourself up about it. Jared’s just been at the forefront of your mind lately. And that’s not a bad thing. Just tell him tonight. Riley was an important part of your life for a long time. I’m sure Jared will think it’s really special that you kept working on this screenplay, to get it produced for Riley.”
Jensen nodded. “Yeah, I’ll tell him tonight,” he answered, excited about the screenplay, but nervous about telling Jared about the man he loved for so long.
~~~~~
Jensen ran down the stairs when he heard the doorbell ring and Harley’s excited barking that accompanied it. He took a breath, smoothed down his shirt, and opened the front door to find Jared standing there on his porch, smiling at him.
“Hey,” Jensen grinned, holding the door open for Jared, who stepped inside, greeting Jensen with a kiss.
“Hey yourself,” Jared said, reaching down to pet Harley, looking around the entryway with a smile.
Jensen led the way to the living room, gesturing to the couch, glancing quickly around, making sure he hadn’t missed a stray shirt or dog toy lying around.
“Make yourself comfortable,” he told Jared as he headed for the kitchen. “I’ll get the popcorn started.”
“Sure,” Jared nodded, smiling, starting to walk around the room. “This is a really nice place, Jen.”
“Thanks,” Jensen called back from the kitchen, grabbing the box of microwave popcorn from the pantry. He removed the last cellophane wrapped package and tossed the box in the garbage.
He blew out a long breath as he read the instructions and put the package of popcorn in the microwave, hitting a few buttons to start it cooking. His nerves were starting to get the best of him. He’d been thinking about it all day, and still didn’t quite know how to start talking about Riley.
A strange smell pulled him from his thoughts and he turned toward the microwave - to see smoke starting to seep out around the door.
“Whoa!” Jensen jumped, finger stabbing the Stop button, whipping open the door, the smell of burning cellophane assaulting his nose. Distracted by his thoughts, he hadn’t removed the plastic before putting the package in the microwave.
“Jen? Everything okay?”
Jensen sighed as he gingerly picked up the ruined popcorn package and dropped it in the trash. “Great,” he muttered, then louder, “Um, yeah, everything’s fine.”
With a sigh he opened the refrigerator and freezer, looking for something else suitable to eat while watching a movie, and nodded when he saw the half gallon of rocky road ice cream.
Walking toward the living room, Jensen stuck his head around the kitchen wall. “Hey, how ‘bout ice cream instead?” he asked, seeing Jared standing in front of one of his bookcases, staring at one of the shelves.
When Jared didn’t answer or turn to look at him, Jensen walked into the living room. “Jared? You want ice cream instead?” he asked again, coming to a stop next to the young man.
Jared slowly turned his head toward Jensen and Jensen immediately noticed how pale Jared suddenly looked.
“Hey, are you all right?” he asked, concerned, putting a hand on Jared’s upper arm.
Jensen saw Jared visibly swallow. “Who - who is this? In the picture with you?” Jared asked in a tight, strained voice, pointing at a framed photograph on the bookshelf.
Jensen turned to look, and saw himself and Riley, the blonde haired man standing behind Jensen, arms wrapped around him, matching smiles on both their faces.
And suddenly Jensen didn’t have to wonder any longer how to broach the subject of Riley with Jared.
With a sad smile Jensen took the photo down and rubbed his thumb over it, remembering the day it was taken, the day they both arrived in California.
“This is Riley,” Jensen started, voice quiet. “We met when we were both twenty-one, waiting tables in Richardson, each of us with our own dream of making it to California. I wanted to be an actor and Riley a screenplay writer.” Jensen paused and smiled softly. “We fell in love, and about a year later made it out here. We were together for four years. And then - “ Jensen took a shaky breath. “And then two years ago we were in a car accident. I made it out with some broken bones…but Riley was killed.”
Jensen looked away from the photo and up at Jared as he finished his story, and the younger man looked even worse than before, visibly shaken, his eyes bright with moisture. But before Jensen could say anything, Jared was backing away from him, turning quickly, his movements jerky, agitated in a way Jensen had never seen him.
“I’ve gotta go,” Jared suddenly said, voice rough, heading for the door.
“What? Why? Jared, what’s wrong?”
The words tumbled out of Jared’s mouth, tripping over one another. “I just - I just remembered that I’m supposed to be covering someone’s shift at the restaurant tonight. I’ve gotta go.”
Jared was moving fast, out of the living room and to the front door by the time Jensen set the picture frame back on the bookshelf.
“Jared, slow down!” he called out as the younger man threw open the door.
“I can’t. I’m sorry, I can’t,” Jared called back, voice breaking, not looking at Jensen as he practically ran for his car, parked at the curb.
It was as if Jared couldn’t get away from Jensen fast enough, his motions practically frantic as he tore open the car door and sped off down the street, leaving Jensen staring after his taillights, wondering what had just happened.
~~~~~
Jensen was a bundle of nerves by the time filming ended the following evening. Deeply concerned at Jared’s behavior the night before, Jensen spent every free minute he had on set calling the younger man’s cell phone. But Jared never answered, leaving Jensen with a sick feeling in his gut. He’d even called the restaurant and spoken with Dominik, but all the older gentleman would say was that Jared couldn’t come to the phone.
Jensen was at a loss as to what went wrong, but if it was something he’d said or done he wanted to fix it, whatever it was. Which is why he made a beeline for Padalecki’s the moment filming ended, desperate to see Jared, his heart pounding in his chest.
It was late by the time he arrived, nearly midnight, with thunder rumbling in the distance, a downpour threatening at any minute. The restaurant was closed, so he went in through the patio entrance and was startled to see Jared and Dominik sitting at the small table.
They looked up at his approach and Dominik rose from his chair, squeezing Jared’s shoulder. The older man looked at Jensen with an almost sympathetic expression before turning and leaving the garden area without a word.
Stomach twisting in knots, Jensen turned his attention to Jared, who also stood as Jensen stepped closer. The younger man looked completely wrecked, his normally bright hazel eyes dull, his body language radiating pain and sadness.
Not hesitating, Jensen pulled Jared to him, wrapping his arms around the taller man’s back and Jared practically sank into him, holding onto Jensen fiercely, burying his face in Jensen’s shoulder.
“Jared, you’re scaring the shit out of me. Please…what’s wrong?”
For a long moment Jared simply held onto Jensen, before drawing in an unsteady breath and straightening up, moving back from Jensen a step.
Jared’s voice was rough when he spoke. “I’m leaving.”
Jensen’s brows drew together in confusion, his mouth suddenly dry. “What do you mean you’re leaving? Why?”
“So you won’t be reminded,” Jared said quietly.
Jensen shook his head. “Of what? Jared, you’re not making any sense.”
“I didn’t just have heart surgery, Jen. I had a transplant. And this…” Jared’s voice shook as he held out a photograph with a folded piece of paper beneath it. “This was the donor.”
Jensen felt the world drop out beneath his feet as he took the offered items -- and saw Riley Marshall’s smiling face staring up at him from the photograph.
“I didn’t know. I swear to god I didn’t know.” Jared’s words were thick, his voice breaking. “Not until I saw his picture in your house. I wrote a letter to the donor agency after I got out of the hospital and they sent it on to Riley’s family. They wrote back and sent his photo.” Jared went to reach out, but let his hand fall, eyes filling with unshed tears. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”
A sharp crack of lightning and Jensen jumped, startled out of his stupor. His throat worked convulsively, trying to get past the sudden lump of emotion as he looked from the photo to Jared. “I…I gotta go. I gotta go…”
Then he was backing away, turning and practically sprinting for his Jeep, leaving a heartbroken young man standing in the garden.
~~~~~
The only thing Jensen remembered of the drive back to his house was the rain, coming down in sheets, and struggling to hold himself together long enough to get home and give in to the emotions threatening to overwhelm him.
He was barely in the front door when the first tear broke free and he stumbled upstairs to the bedroom, collapsing onto the mattress in his soaking wet clothes. He stared at the photo of Riley that Jared had given him, his mind nearly unable to comprehend the events of tonight - Riley’s heart was inside Jared.
Just when he was finally starting to come to terms with Riley’s death, just when he was finally starting to move on - what kind of cruel, sick joke was this??
His breath hitched as memories of he and Riley flooded his mind and he didn’t try to stifle his sobs, his tears falling like the rain outside his window.
~~~~~
Hours later the ringing of Jensen’s cell phone pulled him from the exhausted sleep he had fallen into around 1 am, still dressed in his rain damp clothes, his shoes still on.
His head felt thick and heavy and there was a dull pounding behind his red-rimmed, swollen eyes as he pried them open and sluggishly moved to remove his cell phone from his pocket.
But his movements were too slow and the call went to voice mail before he could answer it, his eyes catching the time on the display as he flipped the phone open - 5:02 am.
It was Kim Manners on the voice mail, letting him know he was getting a rare day off, as the rain was still coming down, ruining any chance of their location filming today. Jensen sighed gratefully as he deleted the message, thanking the weather, as he didn’t have enough energy to even get out of bed this morning, let alone go into work.
He tossed his phone on the bed and ran a weary hand over his face, turning his head on the pillow, spying Riley’s photograph and the piece of paper in the gray morning light, lying next to him.
Jensen reached out tentatively and picked up the piece of paper, unfolding it slowly. He immediately realized it was a copy of the letter that Jared had written to Riley’s parents.
Dear Donor Family: I hope this letter may be of some comfort, although words cannot express the depth of my gratitude. I am eternally grateful for the thoughtfulness you and your loved ones have given me in your moment of deepest sorrow. I awake each day feeling the gentle rhythm of the heart that beats inside me. It is because of you I am alive today. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers. I thank you and God bless.
Jensen swallowed deeply and put the letter aside. He hadn’t known a thing about any of this. After the accident and the coma he had fallen into, Riley’s body had already been buried back in Texas by the time he awoke. It was nearly a month later before Jensen could make himself go back to Richardson and visit Riley’s grave, and his parents. They said nothing to him about organ donation and it wasn’t something he and Riley had ever talked about themselves. They were only in their 20’s and were going to live forever, right?
Jensen rolled his head on the pillow, catching sight of the painting Jared had done for him, that he had hung on the wall that faced the foot of his bed.
It was a long, long time later before Jensen could take his eyes off of it, to reach for his cell phone.
“Tom?” he said, voice scratchy and worn out. “It’s Jensen. Can you come by today? I really need to talk to someone…”
~~~~~
“Wow.” Tom shook his head slowly. “Just…wow.”
It was early afternoon in Jensen’s living room, the scattered remains of Chinese food Tom had brought on the coffee table, the men sitting side by side on the couch, Jensen having just finished telling his friend the whole story.
Jensen nodded his head. “Yeah,” he mumbled, giving a tired sigh.
Tom reached over and put an arm around Jensen’s shoulders as Jensen dropped his head into his hands, voice unsteady.
“What the hell am I gonna do?”
~~~~~
Three days later, on Saturday, Jensen walked off set, checking his voice mail as he made his way toward craft services for lunch. Jensen hated filming on the weekends, but since they’d lost a day this week because of the rain, here they were today, filming on location on the streets of Los Angeles.
Jensen sat down at one of the small tables under the tent craft services had set up and listened to the two messages he had. The first was from Lorraine. He’d stopped by her office on Thursday to go over the contract for Riley’s screenplay, to get all the details taken care of so things could proceed. She was calling to tell him that her late meeting with the studio on Friday went well and the sale was a done deal.
Jensen smiled softly, and a bit sadly, as he deleted the message. Riley’s dream was finally about to become reality. If only he was here to see it happen.
The next message was a definite surprise. It was Dominik, asking Jensen to please stop by the restaurant tonight if he could, he’d like to talk to him.
Jensen sighed as he deleted the message. Did he feel up to talking to Jared’s grandfather?
“Dude!”
Mike’s voice caught his attention and he turned his head.
“Stop staring at your phone and come get some chow!”
Jensen took a last look at his phone then put it in his jacket pocket as he stood. “You’d better save me some pie, baldy!”
~~~~~
Jensen pulled up in front of Padalecki’s a little after closing time that night and knocked on the front door of the restaurant. After a moment Dominik came to the door and gave him a small smile, gesturing for him to come in.
“It’s good to see you,” the older man said, locking the door back up again. “I’m glad you came.”
Jensen nodded, glancing around. “Is - is Jared here?”
Dominik shook his head. “No, son, he’s gone. Left yesterday.”
Jensen glanced down to the floor, then back up again. “Did he go up to Vancouver?” he asked.
Dominik nodded and reached out and lightly grasped Jensen’s arm. “Come on. Let’s go talk.”
The white haired man led Jensen outside, into the patio, where he sat down in one of the two chairs and Jensen sat down heavily in the other. Dominik leaned forward, his forearms resting on his legs, his eyes serious.
“This is none of my business,” Dominik began. “But I felt the need to tell you a few things.”
Jensen nodded. “Go ahead.”
Dominik tilted his head. “Jared had waited nearly his entire life to get on an airplane and travel somewhere for the first time. It was all he could talk about doing after his long recovery from the transplant. But when he got on that plane yesterday, there was no joy in his eyes, no excitement. Only sadness. Because he didn’t want to leave. But he couldn’t stand the thought of causing you pain every time you looked at him.”
Dominik paused, his voice quiet. “I know that what's happened has been... overwhelming. And I know it's going to take you a good while to sort it all out. But while you're sorting, I want you to remember that in all the times I prayed that Jared would have a second chance at life, I always knew that if God blessed us, the heart he got would have to be from a very special person if it were going to be at home in Jared.”
The older man reached out, touched Jensen’s arm. “When he met you, his heart beat truly for the first time. Perhaps it was meant to be with you always.”
Then Dominik stood, squeezed Jensen’s arm and walked back into the restaurant.
Jensen sat quietly in the chair, letting Dominik’s words sink in, thinking how similar they were to his own thoughts. For he’d spent the last three days thinking about Jared, about Riley. Trying to reconcile all this in his mind. Could he look at Jared and not see Riley every single time instead? That would never be fair to Jared, to be with him for the wrong reasons, using him as a stand-in for Riley. Jensen needed to decide if he wanted to stay in the past with his memory of Riley, or move forward into the future with Jared.
Movement from the corner of the garden caught Jensen’s eye. It was Sadie, getting up from where she’d been laying under one of the trees. She walked over to Jensen and laid her head in his lap, looking up at him with wide, brown eyes.
Jensen sighed, petting the dog softly. “Yeah, I miss him, too, girl. I miss him, too.”
~~~~~
Sunday morning dawned clear and bright, Jensen laying in his bed with Harley, rubbing the dog’s stomach, his eyes once again on Jared’s painting, feeling a deep ache start inside him.
Decision made, his heart already feeling lighter, he reached for the phone on the bedside table.
“Dominik? Hi, it’s Jensen…”
~~~~~
Two days later a cab pulled up in front of the Renaissance Hotel in Vancouver, and Jensen emerged into the sunshine, breathing in the fresh mountain air of Canada, a smile on his face.
He strode in through the large glass doors and straight to the front desk, where the receptionist, whose nametag read Mai Ling, asked if she could help him.
“Yes, please. Can you ring Jared Padalecki’s room? Tell him Jensen is here.”
“Of course, sir. Just one moment please,” she answered, looking up Jared’s name in the computer, then dialing the phone.
After a moment she shook her head. “I’m sorry, sir, but Mr. Padalecki isn’t in his room. You might try checking in our restaurant or out on the patio area,” she suggested.
Jensen nodded. “I will, thanks,” he replied, walking off toward the restaurant.
A quick scan of the interior failed to turn up Jared, so Jensen headed in the direction of the patio, which was in the back of the hotel, facing the water and the mountains.
He was about to push open the glass door when he spied a young man sitting by himself off to the side, an easel and blank canvas in front of him, staring at the mountains.
And Jensen saw…Jared. Just Jared. Not a ghost image of Riley.
He missed Riley and he knew he would always miss him, but Riley’s last act had been to give the gift of life to Jared, and somehow, some way, he had also found a way to bring Jared into his life. To give Jensen someone to love who would love him in return, to be happy, to go on. Call it fate or unbelievable coincidence that this had happened, but Jensen knew this was right, he and Jared, and he knew Riley was smiling down on him, looking out for Jensen even after death.
With a deep breath to calm his pounding heart, Jensen pushed open the door and walked out onto the patio, watching as Jared gave a sigh and bowed his head, tossing his unused paintbrush into his bag of supplies.
“Artistic block?”
Jared turned so fast at Jensen’s words the stool he was sitting on started to topple over and he jumped to his feet, mouth open in surprise.
Jared stared at Jensen for several heartbeats, just blinking, before he found his voice.
“You - you came all the way to Vancouver?” the younger man asked, hope coloring his words.
Jensen smiled and nodded, stepping closer to the taller man. “Yeah, I did. I came all the way to Vancouver. For you.” He reached up and curled a hand around the back of Jared’s neck, fingers sliding through the soft strands of the younger man’s hair.
Jensen swallowed past the emotion in his throat, his chest clenching as he spoke the words that came from deep inside him.
“I love you, Jared.”
Jared’s arms were around him in the blink of an eye, pulling their bodies flush against each other, Jared’s mouth against Jensen’s ear.
“Oh god, Jen. God. I love - I love you, too…”
Their lips met a moment later, and god, it had only been a week since Jensen had been in Jared’s arms like this, kissing, holding on to one another, but it felt like a lifetime. Jensen let the soft, slow kiss speak for him, saying I missed you, everything’s okay now, I want to be with you…
The kiss ended gradually, but they didn’t let go of each other, Jared’s hands tangled in the back of Jensen’s t-shirt, one of Jensen’s hands running slowly up and down Jared’s long back.
“So,” Jensen started. “Is Vancouver what you hoped it would be?”
“I haven’t really been seeing it,” Jared answered. “Been sitting and thinking about you. But now?” He smiled, dimples showing, looking directly at Jensen. “Yeah, it’s beautiful,” he whispered, before claiming Jensen’s mouth for another long kiss.
Again they let the kiss end slowly, still in each other’s arms, neither ready to move from their embrace quite yet.
Jensen cocked his head to the side, grinned at Jared. “After you’ve gotten your fill of Canada and come home, I might know of a way to get your budding acting career off the ground. I heard about this new science fiction movie that’s going into production that’s gonna need a young guy like you in the lead part.”
Jared’s eyebrows raised, intrigued. “Oh? How’d you find out?”
Jensen smiled. “I’ll tell you all about it later. But right now…” He trailed off, stepping back from Jared just a bit, bending over slightly, resting his head on Jared’s chest, listening to the heart that beat strong and sure beneath his ear.
Jared made a soft sound, his hand cupping the back of Jensen’s head, and Jensen closed his eyes with a quiet sigh…and smiled.
THE END