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[theactionace]

Good evening from the University of Metropolis. I'm Clark Kent of the Daily Planet, and welcome to the first 2008 presidential debate between the Joker and Lex Luthor, and the Harvey Dents

Comments

[thisislexluthor]

Who the hell made you the moderator?

[theactionace]

The candidates will be asked to refrain from asking irrelevant questions of the host. Please.

[thisislexluthor]

It's not irrelevant. I want to know who thought this was funny, so I can kill them.

[theactionace]

Mr Luthor, I intend to remain professional even if you do not. Please return to your podium.

[saibrrmen]

This question is for the two Dents. Once in the White House, how can you guarantee that the candidate for VP won't try to usurp his twin?

[harveyxdent]

I can assure you that Harvey Dent and I are on the best of terms and that I want nothing more than to be a Vice President.

[harvey_twoface]

"Usurp?" We are a partnership. Neither desires power over the other. My running mate has recently received reconstructive surgery, so I'm sure you can tell us apart. I'll be the one not living a blatant lie.

[bandaged_doll]

This is for both parties; What do you intend to do about the collapsing economy?

[thisislexluthor]

If I seize control of the world markets, I can turn the economic freefall around. This kind of thing doesn't happen when the market forces aren't left in the hands of a bunch of incompetent morons.

[harvey_twoface]

Why do anything? Collapse is inevitable. I would urge citizens to take responsibility for their own finances and stop foisting it off on me.

[harveyxdent]

Uh, please excuse my partner. He's not feeling well tonight.

I think what Harvey meant to say is that we'll try to invest in finding cleaner energy resources and also create more jobs while doing so.

[rachel_dawes77]

Yes, I've got a question for Lex...

I heard that you've stolen 40 cakes in the past. That's as many as four tens.

Would you plan on starting anymore pastry hi-jinks during your run in office?

[thisislexluthor]

...What is the fixation on the cake thing? Can't a man have his hobbies? Fine:

Yes.

Yes, basic math, good for you.

Yes. Washington D.C. has some high-end bakeries and I can still fit into the purple and green jumpsuit.

[ace_0f_knaves]

I'm definitely in favor. The more the merrier, that's what I say! Firearms make great Christmas gifts.

I propose giving people unrestricted access to all weapons, no matter age, criminal history, or mental incompetence.

[harvey_twoface]

Baby, happiness is a warm gun. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there; would I deprive any citizen of his or her right to bear arms?

[thisislexluthor]

I'm all for shooting your problems, and I have the technology and paranoia to deal with most threats, so I'm not particularly worried. Have all the guns you want.