Spot the difference.

[agirlnamedlucky]

Derived from a post by girlyunderwear.

What's the difference between a "friend with benefits" and a "proper relationship"?

I've been known to say that my ideal relationship is hang out, make out, and play Xbox on their floor. If you're wondering where my Xbox fixation came from, well, it's from a Liz Phair song, where she talks about playing Xbox on the floor

Comments

[wyckhurst]

Responsibility, emotional investment, and the need to tell others about your relationship. That is the difference. It's the difference between love and lust (or love and convenience.)

[agirlnamedlucky]

But surely hanging out, making out and playing Xbox doesn't preclude love? Or living in different houses, as per girlyunderwear's post?

[wyckhurst]

Sure, it can, but a relationship of Friends With Benefits can also go into a zone where it's too late for love. Gotta be careful. :-D

[agirlnamedlucky]

But you can still just hang out and act "real" (as opposed to having lavish dinners, etc...) but still have emotional commitment, yes?

[sacchrinetokyo]

I'm inclined to agree. I also think that a "friends with benefits" situation allows both partners to see/sleep with whomever else they want to. A mini-relationship of convenience, maybe, just for those times when you're lonely or and wishing you actually had someone who to call your own or horny and too tired to skeez on a stranger.

[agirlnamedlucky]

The interesting thing, though, is that I would argue that many people who are having more "traditional" relationships are having their relationships equally of convenience than those apparently "breaking the rules".

[strawberiswt]

hey, i kno i don't know u but i think that the difference is emotional evolvement. is it ok if i add u to my friends list?

[agirlnamedlucky]

Sure you can, although at 22 I'm probably a tad too old to join so fetch.

Mean Girls kicks serious ass though :)

[discodivadarlin]

No one is ever too old to join x__so_fetch__x :D

[agirlnamedlucky]

Haha. You have no idea how many of your members have promoted in my journal. :p

[voicemail]

I think it's definitely about the emotional investment, but also about how mutual the understanding is.

For example. Looking back on the boyfriends I've had (hahaha, that makes it sound like there's been heaps! hahaha), at the time I would have considered them to be 'relationships' because of the frequency of time spent together, the (my) level of care / feeling involved and the fact that a 'relationship' was what I hoped it to be

[agirlnamedlucky]

Nicely said. Unfortunately, my relationship history is too boring to go into in that much depth, lol.

[phsyke]

woah
when they start playing with your xbox, its a relationship
wow I hope I never get that serious

[agirlnamedlucky]

*giggle*

[phsyke]

You giggled! You girly girl you =)
Please tell me you had a lazy, lazy sunday, because I don't want to be the only one who did absolutely nothing today

[agirlnamedlucky]

Can't say that, I'm afraid. Edited articles, booked flights and accommodation, liaised with writers and political parties, went to a film festival... ;)