Fic posting time...

[agilebrit]

Title: RiverDance
Author: babies-stole-my-dingo (agilebrit)
Fandom: Firefly
Rating: PG
Length: Short story (around 2100 words)
Disclaimer: Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.
Feedback: Concrit adored! If you see something that can be improved upon,

Comments

[honorh]

Liked the whole thing, but *loved* the first scene! Yes, River would have fun playing with Jayne now that she's got her faculties back. It'd be cute if he ended up being another big brother to her.

Only one crit: "Can I talk to you for a minute?" doesn't sound like River at all to me. Ever notice that she doesn't ask questions very much? "I need to speak to you" or "We should talk" or some such declarative sentence would sound better, IMHO.

[agilebrit]

Oooh! You are correct. Argh.

If I had a brain, I'd run these things by my flist before posting them at the Pit, because you guys are so good at catching stuff like that. *headdesks*

[midnightsjane]

Oh, you do such a wonderful Jayne/River friendship. I love it.
Tigger and Pooh, hee! Perfect.

[louli_rabbit]

I'm beginning to realize I like Jayne & River friendships more than pairings. Mostly cause they start so friendshippy sweet in the beginning then it quickly turns to squick.

They make an unlikely pair of friends, as you have Mal say, which makes it fun. And makes for a great story!

Another great story and well done. And except for as Honor pointed out, that slight dialoge oddity, the rest of it sounded spot on!

Much love!!