just_muse_me || 10.1.2. Thomas Fuller quote
10.1.2. “Get the facts, or the facts will get you. And when you get them, get them right, or they will get you wrong.” - Dr Thomas Fuller
Co-written with notskywalker
[Follows THIS, THIS, THIS and THIS]
Luke sat down in the hospital waiting room beside Ali and offered her a disposable cup of coffee. “It’s from the machine, but better than nothing?” he said hopefully. “Tab’s just gone searching for a vending machine that has more than Nutty Buddy bars in it.”
“I’ll take anything,” Ali said, gratefully accepting the drink and snapping the lid off to survey whether it was going to poison her. It couldn’t be any worse than the machine offerings at her work. She took a small sip and screwed her nose up through a swallow of the bitter liquid.
Luke smiled, glad she didn’t turn it down. “My Aunty - Andy’s Mum - is on her way from Boston as we speak. I also just spoke to Jules who is a pal of Andy’s. She’s a surgical nurse here and we lucked out with her being on shift. She said the surgery went well and he’ll be moved to Recovery in about ten minutes,” he relayed. “There is no point in me telling you to head home for some rest, is there?”
Ali shook her head and pressed her lips together. “Not an iota of point,” she confirmed. “I promised him I would be here when he woke up. I’ll drink a gallon of Red Bull if that’s what it takes. Max will be here soon. He’s going to take Sunshine for me.”
“You must be tired,” Luke noted wryly. “Not a single freak out about his Mum coming.”
Ali met Luke’s eyes and sighed. “Give me time. Once I see for my own eyes that he’s okay, it’ll kick in, no doubt.” She took another slow sip of the coffee and watched her sleeping daughter in the pram. “Does she know about me?”
Luke bit the corner or his lip and had no choice but to shrug slightly. “I don’t know for sure, Ali. I got a feeling Aunty April knew Andy was interested in someone, but as for if he’s told her you two are dating, I would say it’s unlikely. He wouldn’t have had a chance to talk to her about it and it’s something he would probably prefer to tell her in person. He’s close to his Mum. Respects her extensively.”
Ali smiled a little and nodded. “That doesn’t surprise me…” She set the coffee cup down on the floor and leaned forward, stretching her tired muscles and resting her forehead against the hand bar of the pram. “Did Lachlan get home okay? I have to do something to thank him.”
“Yeah, he left a little while ago. He said he’ll be back a little later to visit. Is something up?” Luke asked and watched her closely. He put his arm around her shoulders. “He’ll be okay. This is just a little hitch. A painful one, granted, and I have a feeling he’s not going to be impressed at being laid up, but still, you can slap him around a bit. Knock him into line.”
Ali laughed softly. “I can’t see him being the stubborn sort…” Her thoughts briefly shifted to Mark and James. They were both stubborn arses and the pattern was that Andrew was nothing like them. Not in any way. Which is why she was still a little bewildered that she had fallen for Andrew when she thought she still might have feelings for Mark. She didn’t. She knew now that it was all just projected emotion while she had been pregnant. An attachment to Jamie’s biological father and some sense she really should have a male father figure around. She had been deluded. Mark was gone and he made it clear he wasn’t coming back. If he couldn’t be here for their daughter then she didn’t need him. “But if he is, I’ve got the skills to handle it.”
“So, that’s not it. You’re worried about him, sure, but that’s not what is bothering you. There is something else,” Luke guessed and hesitated before speaking again. “Please tell me you’re not having second thoughts.”
A frown fell across Ali’s features and she couldn’t hide back the glare she afforded him. Lack of sleep meant she wasn’t going to attempt to hide her feelings. “Would I be here if I was?”
“Maybe. Guilt can do funny things.” Luke held up his hand. “I’m sorry. I just had to ask. If you were having second thoughts, it would be better to have them now than any time down the track.”
Ali drew her lip in between her teeth and watched tiredly as a trio of nurses walked by looking like they were getting ready to clock on for the morning shift. “I thought he was having second thoughts. He was distracted the whole date. I thought it had made him realise he didn’t want a piece of me but he was too polite to tell me to fuck off. I confronted him with it, though. That’s when he told me he was feeling sick and just didn’t want to fuck the date up. I asked him to come back to stay at my place so he didn’t have to be alone when he was feeling off. It went down hill from there.” She met Luke’s eyes again. “Does that answer your question? I’m not having second thoughts. I don’t think he is either because he didn’t have to come back to my place feeling crappy, did he? That was, like, choosing to be weak in front of me. I know how big a deal that is for a guy, trust me.”
Luke nodded. “It is. You’re right. I think he’s head over for you, to be honest,” he admitted. “And even though I’ve come off as a wanker with this whole thing, I don’t think it is a bad thing at all. The opposite, in fact. You make him smile and that’s… well, nothing else matters.”
Ali drew in a small breath and let it out in a rush, once again leaning forward. “He told me he loved me,” she said quietly. “At least, I think he was saying it to me and not, say, the IV pole.”
Luke’s mouth dropped open a little and he blinked. “Whoa…” He cleared his throat. “You’re worried it was just the meds talking or that he won’t remember?”
“Wouldn’t you be?” Ali mumbled. She screwed her nose up a little. “Holy hell, I need to change the rugrat. If you’re squeamish, you might want to step away a little. She never has anything pleasant to offer in the diaper first thing in the morning.” She stood up and hauled the baby bag up from where it was hanging over the pram.
“Do you love him?” Luke blurted out before he could stop himself. Maybe some of Tab’s lack of tact was starting to rub off on him, but it only seemed to come into force when Andy and Ali were on the menu.
Ali took one of the tiny disposable diapers from the bag and looked at Luke. “Don’t you think that is something Andrew deserves to hear from me first himself? Would telling you my feelings for him resolve my dilemma here?” she asked calmly.
Luke decided this was kind of frustrating. Was that a yes or a no? He scratched his head. “I think the only thing you can do here right now is to wait to see if he remembers or says it to you again. You could try to analyse it but you will just drive yourself insane. I remember feeling in a similar situation when I first started seeing Tab. She had… issues. Commitment issues, ex issues, family issues. It made it very hard for me to really know what page I was on with her in the early days because her mind seemed to be in ten different places at once. And that was okay, because her brother was ill and she had to work through things in her own time. It’s the same for you and Andy. But if he said it and wasn’t off his face, he meant it and that means he’ll say it again.”
“What if he was just scared? Just felt like he should say it because he wasn’t feeling himself and I was there?” Ali asked in a small voice. “I mean, if it was the painkillers, he could have said it to you, to Tab, to Lachlan…”
Luke laughed and shook his head. “As amusing as that would have been and given us a lot of fuel that he would never live down, he didn’t. Did he say anything to indicate to you either way that he was rational or not?”
Ali looked down at the diaper in her hand and chewed her lip. “Jelly beans.”
“What?” Luke asked, not following. “That doesn’t sound very rational. Why the hell would he be talking about jelly beans?”
“He brought me jelly beans when I was in hospital after giving birth. We shared them. I ate all the red ones. I told him I would bring him jelly beans because I didn’t know what else I could say and he smiled at me and asked me if it was so I could eat all the red ones…” Ali looked at Luke, trying to seek clarification.
Luke reached to squeeze her hand with a smile. “Then it sounds like he knew exactly what he was talking about, love.”
All muses referenced with permission
Word Count | 1,564
Co-written with notskywalker
[Follows THIS, THIS, THIS and THIS]
Luke sat down in the hospital waiting room beside Ali and offered her a disposable cup of coffee. “It’s from the machine, but better than nothing?” he said hopefully. “Tab’s just gone searching for a vending machine that has more than Nutty Buddy bars in it.”
“I’ll take anything,” Ali said, gratefully accepting the drink and snapping the lid off to survey whether it was going to poison her. It couldn’t be any worse than the machine offerings at her work. She took a small sip and screwed her nose up through a swallow of the bitter liquid.
Luke smiled, glad she didn’t turn it down. “My Aunty - Andy’s Mum - is on her way from Boston as we speak. I also just spoke to Jules who is a pal of Andy’s. She’s a surgical nurse here and we lucked out with her being on shift. She said the surgery went well and he’ll be moved to Recovery in about ten minutes,” he relayed. “There is no point in me telling you to head home for some rest, is there?”
Ali shook her head and pressed her lips together. “Not an iota of point,” she confirmed. “I promised him I would be here when he woke up. I’ll drink a gallon of Red Bull if that’s what it takes. Max will be here soon. He’s going to take Sunshine for me.”
“You must be tired,” Luke noted wryly. “Not a single freak out about his Mum coming.”
Ali met Luke’s eyes and sighed. “Give me time. Once I see for my own eyes that he’s okay, it’ll kick in, no doubt.” She took another slow sip of the coffee and watched her sleeping daughter in the pram. “Does she know about me?”
Luke bit the corner or his lip and had no choice but to shrug slightly. “I don’t know for sure, Ali. I got a feeling Aunty April knew Andy was interested in someone, but as for if he’s told her you two are dating, I would say it’s unlikely. He wouldn’t have had a chance to talk to her about it and it’s something he would probably prefer to tell her in person. He’s close to his Mum. Respects her extensively.”
Ali smiled a little and nodded. “That doesn’t surprise me…” She set the coffee cup down on the floor and leaned forward, stretching her tired muscles and resting her forehead against the hand bar of the pram. “Did Lachlan get home okay? I have to do something to thank him.”
“Yeah, he left a little while ago. He said he’ll be back a little later to visit. Is something up?” Luke asked and watched her closely. He put his arm around her shoulders. “He’ll be okay. This is just a little hitch. A painful one, granted, and I have a feeling he’s not going to be impressed at being laid up, but still, you can slap him around a bit. Knock him into line.”
Ali laughed softly. “I can’t see him being the stubborn sort…” Her thoughts briefly shifted to Mark and James. They were both stubborn arses and the pattern was that Andrew was nothing like them. Not in any way. Which is why she was still a little bewildered that she had fallen for Andrew when she thought she still might have feelings for Mark. She didn’t. She knew now that it was all just projected emotion while she had been pregnant. An attachment to Jamie’s biological father and some sense she really should have a male father figure around. She had been deluded. Mark was gone and he made it clear he wasn’t coming back. If he couldn’t be here for their daughter then she didn’t need him. “But if he is, I’ve got the skills to handle it.”
“So, that’s not it. You’re worried about him, sure, but that’s not what is bothering you. There is something else,” Luke guessed and hesitated before speaking again. “Please tell me you’re not having second thoughts.”
A frown fell across Ali’s features and she couldn’t hide back the glare she afforded him. Lack of sleep meant she wasn’t going to attempt to hide her feelings. “Would I be here if I was?”
“Maybe. Guilt can do funny things.” Luke held up his hand. “I’m sorry. I just had to ask. If you were having second thoughts, it would be better to have them now than any time down the track.”
Ali drew her lip in between her teeth and watched tiredly as a trio of nurses walked by looking like they were getting ready to clock on for the morning shift. “I thought he was having second thoughts. He was distracted the whole date. I thought it had made him realise he didn’t want a piece of me but he was too polite to tell me to fuck off. I confronted him with it, though. That’s when he told me he was feeling sick and just didn’t want to fuck the date up. I asked him to come back to stay at my place so he didn’t have to be alone when he was feeling off. It went down hill from there.” She met Luke’s eyes again. “Does that answer your question? I’m not having second thoughts. I don’t think he is either because he didn’t have to come back to my place feeling crappy, did he? That was, like, choosing to be weak in front of me. I know how big a deal that is for a guy, trust me.”
Luke nodded. “It is. You’re right. I think he’s head over for you, to be honest,” he admitted. “And even though I’ve come off as a wanker with this whole thing, I don’t think it is a bad thing at all. The opposite, in fact. You make him smile and that’s… well, nothing else matters.”
Ali drew in a small breath and let it out in a rush, once again leaning forward. “He told me he loved me,” she said quietly. “At least, I think he was saying it to me and not, say, the IV pole.”
Luke’s mouth dropped open a little and he blinked. “Whoa…” He cleared his throat. “You’re worried it was just the meds talking or that he won’t remember?”
“Wouldn’t you be?” Ali mumbled. She screwed her nose up a little. “Holy hell, I need to change the rugrat. If you’re squeamish, you might want to step away a little. She never has anything pleasant to offer in the diaper first thing in the morning.” She stood up and hauled the baby bag up from where it was hanging over the pram.
“Do you love him?” Luke blurted out before he could stop himself. Maybe some of Tab’s lack of tact was starting to rub off on him, but it only seemed to come into force when Andy and Ali were on the menu.
Ali took one of the tiny disposable diapers from the bag and looked at Luke. “Don’t you think that is something Andrew deserves to hear from me first himself? Would telling you my feelings for him resolve my dilemma here?” she asked calmly.
Luke decided this was kind of frustrating. Was that a yes or a no? He scratched his head. “I think the only thing you can do here right now is to wait to see if he remembers or says it to you again. You could try to analyse it but you will just drive yourself insane. I remember feeling in a similar situation when I first started seeing Tab. She had… issues. Commitment issues, ex issues, family issues. It made it very hard for me to really know what page I was on with her in the early days because her mind seemed to be in ten different places at once. And that was okay, because her brother was ill and she had to work through things in her own time. It’s the same for you and Andy. But if he said it and wasn’t off his face, he meant it and that means he’ll say it again.”
“What if he was just scared? Just felt like he should say it because he wasn’t feeling himself and I was there?” Ali asked in a small voice. “I mean, if it was the painkillers, he could have said it to you, to Tab, to Lachlan…”
Luke laughed and shook his head. “As amusing as that would have been and given us a lot of fuel that he would never live down, he didn’t. Did he say anything to indicate to you either way that he was rational or not?”
Ali looked down at the diaper in her hand and chewed her lip. “Jelly beans.”
“What?” Luke asked, not following. “That doesn’t sound very rational. Why the hell would he be talking about jelly beans?”
“He brought me jelly beans when I was in hospital after giving birth. We shared them. I ate all the red ones. I told him I would bring him jelly beans because I didn’t know what else I could say and he smiled at me and asked me if it was so I could eat all the red ones…” Ali looked at Luke, trying to seek clarification.
Luke reached to squeeze her hand with a smile. “Then it sounds like he knew exactly what he was talking about, love.”
All muses referenced with permission
Word Count | 1,564