[SGM] Sins Remember'd, Sins Forgot
[Warning: Spoilers for This Mortal Coil ( SGA 04x10) and Be All My Sins Remember'd (04x11). Takes place just prior to Spoils of War (04x12). No placement for Stained Glass Masquerade as of yet. Will link as soon as I do. Opening scene plus accompanying dialogue stolen shamelessly from This Mortal Coil.]
"Thank God it hit the reading library or somebody really could have gotten hurt," McKay stated coldly, as he joined Sheppard and Zalenka next to the object that had just crashed into the city.
"What is it?" Zalenka asked curiously, peering at it.
As always, McKay seemed to have the answers, "It's obviously some kind of mobile self-contained unit - a drone, possibly a probe. It's definitely not Wraith design."
The Czech scientist apparently decided not to let his colleague take all the good ideas. "Perhaps it's Lantean, you know? A de-orbited satellite or a device on a recall directive."
"Uh, maybe," McKay replied, glancing at the scanner and not believing Zalenka one bit. "It's still emanating a trace energy field."
Shappard glanced between the two, only one thought really on his mind: "Is it dangerous?"
In his infuriating way, McKay answered, "No, it's just interesting."
Sheppard decided to take a closer look at it, too, not wanting to feel left-out and useless. "Check that out," he said finally, his scrutiny producing a minor discovery.
His growing excitement was dampened by Zalenka's unenthused, "It was damaged on re-entry. So what?"
Unexpectedly, McKay came to Sheppard's rescue. "Re-entry wouldn't have caused that."
Sheppard was never one to turn down an ally, and he pressed on with his expert opinion. "Looks like weapons fire. Maybe it took a hit before it came down."
McKay raised a brow. "And yet it came out in one piece."
Sheppard was impressed, possibly more so than the others. "Tough little bastard!" he said appreciatively, before standing and letting the geeks pounce on the thing with fervour. It looked like this day was finally beginning to get interesting, and the broken 'Gate finally pushed to the side...
*****
John Sheppard had seen many oddities in his three and a half years on Atlantis, but this one had to be right up there in the top ten most fucked up things that could ever happen to a person. Coming face-to-face with one's own self not once, but twice, had to be some sort of record. And if not in real life, then definitely in science fiction. (There had been that one incident back on Earth, where the SGC was over-run by multiple copies of SG-1. But having the multi-verse regurgitate alternate versions of someone and actually co-existing and originating from the same space-time were two vastly different things.)
After walking and talking with Elizabeth, Replicator though she might be, John found himself seeking out his Replicator counter-part. It had been an awkward sort of chat, taking on the form of a verbal report about Repli-Shapprd's experiences on Repli-Lantis. It was incredibly weird that the events that occurred on his city's replica had so closely resembled the events currently taking place on the real Atlantis, and it made John wonder if there was something of an addendum to that whole infinite possibilities thing. Perhaps in this reality, the way things were going were the only way they could happen in this dimension, regardless of the fact that two separate groups of the same people were living it out in two vastly different locations in the galaxy. He made a mental note to ask Carter about it later, and pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind before the impending migraine imploded his brain.
Of course, that was when the other Replicators had decided to crash the party, and both Sheppards were on the radio instantly, recalling everyone and planning a hasty retreat. He wasn't surprised by Elizabeth's plan and the Repli-Crew's eagerness to go along with it. He supposed if their roles had been reversed, he would have done and felt the same. It was a bitter-sweet parting, and John was grateful for the opportunity, even though it meant losing a jumper. Hell, the Jumper was a small price to pay for the chance to get the hell outta dodge, but it came at the expense of his team - in an odd way they were his team - and he wasn't sure how he felt about that.
He wasn't sure how long he had stood and stared at the inactive 'Gate, either. He was only vaguely aware of nodding an affirmative toMajor Lorne asking him if he was all right, and then numbly walking out to deposit his gear. It was at some point during his shower when it finally hit him that Elizabeth was well and truly dead and that she was not coming back. The cold realization was followed by another: He would now have to do what he had been putting off for the better part of six months and finally clear out Elizabeth's things from her quarters. ...He'd do it tomorrow. Right now he just wanted to be a lone for a bit.
Clean, dry and clothed in a fresh uniform, he wandered the halls, drawn to the Library. He looked up at the spot in the ceiling where Repli-Sheppard had said the probe has crashed through, and then around at what would have been destroyed by the cave-in. As much as they joked about its utter uselessness and the fact that no one came here, John knew he'd feel something akin to remorse if anything had happened to this place. He supposed such sentimentalities occurred when one found refuge in a place that others had marked as out of bounds from the norm.
"I thought I saw you come in here." The soft words made him jump, and he grinned ruefully at her as he turned.
"Hey." He glanced around, scrubbed a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I uh..."
"Needed to be alone, again?"
"Something like that, yeah." His grin turned rueful as he and Melanie sat across from one another. "And a morbid curiosity."
Her brow raised at that. "Oh? And what could possibly be morbidly curious about a reading library?"
"Nothing. Just trying to superimpose the destruction from a scenario described to me by someone else on top of what it looks like now."
"Why would someone wanna tear this place down?"
"Well, not exactly tear down..." he leaned forward, glanced around to make sure no one else was listening. Melanie leaned in as well, clearly amused. In low tones, he told her about what Repli-Sheppard had told him about the library. She sat back, clearly disturbed.
"Huh. Well, that would suck."
"Tell me about it. I'd have to find a new place to hide when my head threatened to explode."
She gave him a sympathetic smile and took his hand in hers. "Is it threatening now?"
"Almost." And he told her about Elizabeth.
**********
"I resigned once, wings and all," he said, before popping a chip into his mouth. They were both laying on his bed. He was on his side, facing her, and she was on her side facing him. The bowl of chips sat between them, their drinks within easy reach. They had been discussing how the removal of Elizabeth's personal items had gone and how totally screwed they were in regards to the Replicators. She gave him a sympathetic look, then frowned. John Sheppard not flying was unheard of. John Sheppard not flying by his own choice was an absolute atrocity and a corruption of the natural balance of the Universe.
"What could possibly make you, of all people, give up your wings?" she asked. Commission she could understand, the wings not so much. She knew there had to be a Very Good Reason for it.
"I thought Teyla and Ronon were dead, and it was once more my fault and two more names added to a very long list of people that have been killed under my command." He sucked on a chip thoughtfully before letting it dissolve in his mouth. "I had finally reached the point in which I could no longer allow more people to lose their lives because of me."
"You're an ass," she replied, not missing a beat. Her tone was casual, and there was no real reproach in the words, and they were incongruous with her action of picking another chip from the bowl and eating it. Even with all that, the words still hit him hard.
"How am I an ass for resigning my commission?" he replied, face scrunching in that what the hell?! way that she found so endearing.
"If you have to ask, then you're an even bigger idiot," she said with a nod. "How can you possibly blame yourself for the deaths of all the people that have come through here?"
"Because I was their Command-"
"Right. You were their Commanding Officer," she said, cutting them off. "Friends with many or all of them, even. No more, no less.You lead them and cared about them, but you sure as hell couldn't control circumstances. I've been out with enough teams to know that Intel around these parts is crap. Things change, John, and you can't control it. You can only do the best that you can with what you've got and with who you've got watching your back. You can't foresee how a judgement call is going to swing things one way or another. You just have to make the best call that you can and pray that it's the right one. Or as much of the right one as you can possibly make, all things considered."
He stared at her. When nothing was forth-coming from the Lt.-Colonel, she added, "We all knew the dangers when we signed up, John. Not one person here on Atlantis holds anyone but themselves accountable for what happens to them. They don't blame Colonel Carter and they sure as hell don't blame you."
He sighed and dropped his gaze. He hated it when people were right, and lately, everyone seemed to be right a hell of a lot more often than he was. He supposed he should start listening. It was the least he could do for the entire Expedition. He looked up as her fingers brushed over his cheek. She was smiling. He smiled back.
"Thanks," he said, finally, covering her hand with his. He squeezed her fingers gently, his smile widening as she squeezed back.
"Your welcome." She waited a beat before adding, "And no more resigning. I mean, if you left, who else would I have to talk to in the library?"
He gave her a playful grin. "Well, there's always Zalenka, or McKay...or you could always try and hog tie Lorne and drag him in there..."
She threw a chip at him, laughing as he grabbed her wrist. "Prat."
"Always." And suddenly their faces were inches apart. Considering the fact that they had been no farther than a foot apart this whole time, he was surprised that he was, well, surprised at the development. He flicked his gaze over her face, and she sucked on her lower lip, almost in anticipation. He found himself closing the distance, watching as her lips parted, the familiar flutter in his stomach at the expectancy of the kiss sending a tingle through his body. He could feel her breath on his lips, almost taste the sweetness of her mouth mixed with the salt from the chips; they were breathing each other's air and his eyes closed at the ghost-touch of their parted lips...
"Colonel Sheppard, this is McKay. Come in, please." The crackle from the radio exploded the moment, and both he and Melanie paused, her with a sigh and him slumping his shoulders, resting his forehead against hers. They pulled away and looked at each other, chuckling to diffuse the awkwardness and averting their eyes. John sat up and spun around, picking up the offending equipment and stuffing it in his ear.
"Sheppard here," he said.
If McKay picked up on the terseness of the clipped acknowledgement, he didn't show it as he said, "You need to come down to the Control Room. I have something."
"This better be good." John looked back at Melanie, watching as she moved the bowl from the bed to a table and brushed the crumbs off the sheets.
"Oh, it's good but you aren't going to like it. And bring Ronon."
"Right. Sheppard out." He cut the connection and stood up to give Melanie a helping hand. "Sorry, but I have to go to work now."
She gave him a wry smile. "Yeah, I figured. I should really get back, too."
He nodded. "Hey, how about dinner sometime?"
"Sure." She grinned. "This'll be, what, date number...?"
"Uh, three." He nodded again, then smiled. "Three. For sure. Three is special."
"Oh?" She raised a brow, instantly suspicious.
"Yep, means we get to go take in the sunset on one of the western balconies."
Her smile widened. "It's a date, then," she said shyly before turning on her heel and heading out.
He watched as she left, and chuckled as the door shut behind her. "It's definitely a date," he said to the empty room, then headed out himself to pick up Ronon and head to the Control Room.
He only hoped that he could refrain from killing McKay...
"Thank God it hit the reading library or somebody really could have gotten hurt," McKay stated coldly, as he joined Sheppard and Zalenka next to the object that had just crashed into the city.
"What is it?" Zalenka asked curiously, peering at it.
As always, McKay seemed to have the answers, "It's obviously some kind of mobile self-contained unit - a drone, possibly a probe. It's definitely not Wraith design."
The Czech scientist apparently decided not to let his colleague take all the good ideas. "Perhaps it's Lantean, you know? A de-orbited satellite or a device on a recall directive."
"Uh, maybe," McKay replied, glancing at the scanner and not believing Zalenka one bit. "It's still emanating a trace energy field."
Shappard glanced between the two, only one thought really on his mind: "Is it dangerous?"
In his infuriating way, McKay answered, "No, it's just interesting."
Sheppard decided to take a closer look at it, too, not wanting to feel left-out and useless. "Check that out," he said finally, his scrutiny producing a minor discovery.
His growing excitement was dampened by Zalenka's unenthused, "It was damaged on re-entry. So what?"
Unexpectedly, McKay came to Sheppard's rescue. "Re-entry wouldn't have caused that."
Sheppard was never one to turn down an ally, and he pressed on with his expert opinion. "Looks like weapons fire. Maybe it took a hit before it came down."
McKay raised a brow. "And yet it came out in one piece."
Sheppard was impressed, possibly more so than the others. "Tough little bastard!" he said appreciatively, before standing and letting the geeks pounce on the thing with fervour. It looked like this day was finally beginning to get interesting, and the broken 'Gate finally pushed to the side...
*****
John Sheppard had seen many oddities in his three and a half years on Atlantis, but this one had to be right up there in the top ten most fucked up things that could ever happen to a person. Coming face-to-face with one's own self not once, but twice, had to be some sort of record. And if not in real life, then definitely in science fiction. (There had been that one incident back on Earth, where the SGC was over-run by multiple copies of SG-1. But having the multi-verse regurgitate alternate versions of someone and actually co-existing and originating from the same space-time were two vastly different things.)
After walking and talking with Elizabeth, Replicator though she might be, John found himself seeking out his Replicator counter-part. It had been an awkward sort of chat, taking on the form of a verbal report about Repli-Shapprd's experiences on Repli-Lantis. It was incredibly weird that the events that occurred on his city's replica had so closely resembled the events currently taking place on the real Atlantis, and it made John wonder if there was something of an addendum to that whole infinite possibilities thing. Perhaps in this reality, the way things were going were the only way they could happen in this dimension, regardless of the fact that two separate groups of the same people were living it out in two vastly different locations in the galaxy. He made a mental note to ask Carter about it later, and pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind before the impending migraine imploded his brain.
Of course, that was when the other Replicators had decided to crash the party, and both Sheppards were on the radio instantly, recalling everyone and planning a hasty retreat. He wasn't surprised by Elizabeth's plan and the Repli-Crew's eagerness to go along with it. He supposed if their roles had been reversed, he would have done and felt the same. It was a bitter-sweet parting, and John was grateful for the opportunity, even though it meant losing a jumper. Hell, the Jumper was a small price to pay for the chance to get the hell outta dodge, but it came at the expense of his team - in an odd way they were his team - and he wasn't sure how he felt about that.
He wasn't sure how long he had stood and stared at the inactive 'Gate, either. He was only vaguely aware of nodding an affirmative toMajor Lorne asking him if he was all right, and then numbly walking out to deposit his gear. It was at some point during his shower when it finally hit him that Elizabeth was well and truly dead and that she was not coming back. The cold realization was followed by another: He would now have to do what he had been putting off for the better part of six months and finally clear out Elizabeth's things from her quarters. ...He'd do it tomorrow. Right now he just wanted to be a lone for a bit.
Clean, dry and clothed in a fresh uniform, he wandered the halls, drawn to the Library. He looked up at the spot in the ceiling where Repli-Sheppard had said the probe has crashed through, and then around at what would have been destroyed by the cave-in. As much as they joked about its utter uselessness and the fact that no one came here, John knew he'd feel something akin to remorse if anything had happened to this place. He supposed such sentimentalities occurred when one found refuge in a place that others had marked as out of bounds from the norm.
"I thought I saw you come in here." The soft words made him jump, and he grinned ruefully at her as he turned.
"Hey." He glanced around, scrubbed a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I uh..."
"Needed to be alone, again?"
"Something like that, yeah." His grin turned rueful as he and Melanie sat across from one another. "And a morbid curiosity."
Her brow raised at that. "Oh? And what could possibly be morbidly curious about a reading library?"
"Nothing. Just trying to superimpose the destruction from a scenario described to me by someone else on top of what it looks like now."
"Why would someone wanna tear this place down?"
"Well, not exactly tear down..." he leaned forward, glanced around to make sure no one else was listening. Melanie leaned in as well, clearly amused. In low tones, he told her about what Repli-Sheppard had told him about the library. She sat back, clearly disturbed.
"Huh. Well, that would suck."
"Tell me about it. I'd have to find a new place to hide when my head threatened to explode."
She gave him a sympathetic smile and took his hand in hers. "Is it threatening now?"
"Almost." And he told her about Elizabeth.
**********
"I resigned once, wings and all," he said, before popping a chip into his mouth. They were both laying on his bed. He was on his side, facing her, and she was on her side facing him. The bowl of chips sat between them, their drinks within easy reach. They had been discussing how the removal of Elizabeth's personal items had gone and how totally screwed they were in regards to the Replicators. She gave him a sympathetic look, then frowned. John Sheppard not flying was unheard of. John Sheppard not flying by his own choice was an absolute atrocity and a corruption of the natural balance of the Universe.
"What could possibly make you, of all people, give up your wings?" she asked. Commission she could understand, the wings not so much. She knew there had to be a Very Good Reason for it.
"I thought Teyla and Ronon were dead, and it was once more my fault and two more names added to a very long list of people that have been killed under my command." He sucked on a chip thoughtfully before letting it dissolve in his mouth. "I had finally reached the point in which I could no longer allow more people to lose their lives because of me."
"You're an ass," she replied, not missing a beat. Her tone was casual, and there was no real reproach in the words, and they were incongruous with her action of picking another chip from the bowl and eating it. Even with all that, the words still hit him hard.
"How am I an ass for resigning my commission?" he replied, face scrunching in that what the hell?! way that she found so endearing.
"If you have to ask, then you're an even bigger idiot," she said with a nod. "How can you possibly blame yourself for the deaths of all the people that have come through here?"
"Because I was their Command-"
"Right. You were their Commanding Officer," she said, cutting them off. "Friends with many or all of them, even. No more, no less.You lead them and cared about them, but you sure as hell couldn't control circumstances. I've been out with enough teams to know that Intel around these parts is crap. Things change, John, and you can't control it. You can only do the best that you can with what you've got and with who you've got watching your back. You can't foresee how a judgement call is going to swing things one way or another. You just have to make the best call that you can and pray that it's the right one. Or as much of the right one as you can possibly make, all things considered."
He stared at her. When nothing was forth-coming from the Lt.-Colonel, she added, "We all knew the dangers when we signed up, John. Not one person here on Atlantis holds anyone but themselves accountable for what happens to them. They don't blame Colonel Carter and they sure as hell don't blame you."
He sighed and dropped his gaze. He hated it when people were right, and lately, everyone seemed to be right a hell of a lot more often than he was. He supposed he should start listening. It was the least he could do for the entire Expedition. He looked up as her fingers brushed over his cheek. She was smiling. He smiled back.
"Thanks," he said, finally, covering her hand with his. He squeezed her fingers gently, his smile widening as she squeezed back.
"Your welcome." She waited a beat before adding, "And no more resigning. I mean, if you left, who else would I have to talk to in the library?"
He gave her a playful grin. "Well, there's always Zalenka, or McKay...or you could always try and hog tie Lorne and drag him in there..."
She threw a chip at him, laughing as he grabbed her wrist. "Prat."
"Always." And suddenly their faces were inches apart. Considering the fact that they had been no farther than a foot apart this whole time, he was surprised that he was, well, surprised at the development. He flicked his gaze over her face, and she sucked on her lower lip, almost in anticipation. He found himself closing the distance, watching as her lips parted, the familiar flutter in his stomach at the expectancy of the kiss sending a tingle through his body. He could feel her breath on his lips, almost taste the sweetness of her mouth mixed with the salt from the chips; they were breathing each other's air and his eyes closed at the ghost-touch of their parted lips...
"Colonel Sheppard, this is McKay. Come in, please." The crackle from the radio exploded the moment, and both he and Melanie paused, her with a sigh and him slumping his shoulders, resting his forehead against hers. They pulled away and looked at each other, chuckling to diffuse the awkwardness and averting their eyes. John sat up and spun around, picking up the offending equipment and stuffing it in his ear.
"Sheppard here," he said.
If McKay picked up on the terseness of the clipped acknowledgement, he didn't show it as he said, "You need to come down to the Control Room. I have something."
"This better be good." John looked back at Melanie, watching as she moved the bowl from the bed to a table and brushed the crumbs off the sheets.
"Oh, it's good but you aren't going to like it. And bring Ronon."
"Right. Sheppard out." He cut the connection and stood up to give Melanie a helping hand. "Sorry, but I have to go to work now."
She gave him a wry smile. "Yeah, I figured. I should really get back, too."
He nodded. "Hey, how about dinner sometime?"
"Sure." She grinned. "This'll be, what, date number...?"
"Uh, three." He nodded again, then smiled. "Three. For sure. Three is special."
"Oh?" She raised a brow, instantly suspicious.
"Yep, means we get to go take in the sunset on one of the western balconies."
Her smile widened. "It's a date, then," she said shyly before turning on her heel and heading out.
He watched as she left, and chuckled as the door shut behind her. "It's definitely a date," he said to the empty room, then headed out himself to pick up Ronon and head to the Control Room.
He only hoped that he could refrain from killing McKay...