Some Things Change, Some Things Remain the Same: Chapter 11
TITLE: Some Things Change, Some Things Remain the Same (Chapter 11)
AUTHOR: aeryn_b
RATING: R (some mature suggestive themes, nothing explicit)
WARNING: none
CATEGORY: Alternate Universe, Romance, Adventure, Hurt/Comfort
PAIRINGS: Daniel/Vala
CHARACTERS: Daniel Jackson, Vala Mal Doran
SPOILERS/TIMELINE: "Beachhead" through Season 9 to "Flesh and Blood"
SUMMARY/PREMISE: What happens if both Vala AND Daniel are transported to the Ori galaxy at the end of "Beachhead"? How will they survive and how will they get back?
Chapter 1 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/7859.html
Chapter 2 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/8109.html
Chapter 3 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/8411.html
Chapter 4 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/8464.html
Chapter 5 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/8747.html
Chapter 6 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/9042.html
Chapter 7 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/9319.html
Chapter 8 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/9507.html
Chapter 9 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/9873.html
Chapter 10 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/10219.html
Click here to read on FFN
Click here to read on alldanielfic.com
So this chapter is more of a Hurt/Comfort chapter than anything else, and therefore it might be considered slightly out of character. Confession: I read a lot of romance novels. So yeah, if Daniel appears to be a little bit like a typical romance novel hero...sorry 'bout that. I just really, really wanted there to be a sweet, comforting scene like this.
Also, I'm really trying to prolong the "big moment." I honestly don't know if Vala would behave like this. I do think she has actual moments of vulnerability in the show, so her feeling vulnerable and out of sorts here seems at least halfway believable. Again, my previous warning stands. If this seems stupid and unbelievable, move along. It's my story and I'm stickin' to it. ;)
Oh, and always, thank you for reading. Please enjoy. :)
Chapter 11
It felt like it was taking him forever to reach the safe house. Daniel just couldn't get there fast enough. Vala needed water and food. Her clothes needed changing and she needed to be washed. She needed to rest on a bed where she'd be safe. Daniel didn't dare stop to rest for himself. Relying on the adrenaline in his system to put one foot in front of the other, he carried Vala away from harm to relative safety.
When he arrived, he glanced back and it appeared they hadn't been followed. And the house did, in fact, look safe. The hearth was prepared for a fire, two large bowls of an oatmeal-like dish were on the table, and a bucket of water sat near the sink. There was also a wide bed made up with clean sheets and blankets set close to the hearth.
Laying Vala down on the bed, he stripped off her shoes and her sweaty, soiled dress. The knee-length shirt beneath the dress was in much worse shape as it looked to be stuck to her body. Eyeing her cautiously Daniel went to the kitchen area to get a cup of water and noticed a note tucked beneath one of the bowls on the table. It was from Denya.
She apologized for not being able to stay, but her absence would arouse suspicion. She hoped Panos would come soon and tidy up a little more. She also instructed which herbs and oils to mix for Vala's skin and told him to be careful of feeding her too quickly in case her body rejected too much food too fast. She mentioned a secret cellar beneath the house, which contained foodstuffs and other provisions they might need. The entrance was beneath the floorboards where the bed had once been on the far wall. Glancing to the place she indicated, Daniel moved closer and noticed Earth's stargate symbol once again, carved lightly into a wooden plank. Lifting the plank proved simple enough and soon he had removed an entire section of the floor to provide access to the cellar.
He would inventory it later, but for now, he had to tend to Vala. Daniel first went to light the fire in the hearth, then brought the bucket of water from the sink, an armful of clean cloths, and a cup back to Vala's side. Sitting next to her, he propped her up into a sitting position and brushed her hair away from her face.
Eventually, her eyelids fluttered open. "Vala, can you hear me?" She nodded and he lifted her head and tipped some water into her mouth, watching her lips work the liquid voluntarily. Daniel hoped she'd wake up fully, because he'd clean her if he had to, but he'd rather give her the option of doing it herself. But even as he thought it, she fell back asleep, her head resting listlessly against his shoulder.
"All right then, but I tried to wake you up, so don't yell at me later for this."
Daniel reached for her socks first, pulling off the odorous garments. He dipped a cloth in the bucket, soaped it, and wiped her feet clean. Changing cloths, he washed and rinsed her lower legs. Then, keeping her covered as best he could with the dirty under-gown, he ran the cloth over her thighs.
As he washed her, his fingers brushed past her underwear. It was stiff, as if it had been wet and then dried against her skin. Daniel hooked his fingers under the material and gently drew it off her body. The first thing he noticed were the spots of blood dotting the cotton material.
The words of the Doci from his dream came back to Daniel then: "The child is our Orici."
Had the baby survived this? Would the Ori protect their own? Were they even aware of Vala's torture? Daniel wouldn't let the questions bother him. Vala was the one who needed him. There was nothing he could do now about the baby's uncertain fate.
After soaking and wringing out the cloth, Daniel spread Vala's legs slightly and, keeping her covered, he wiped her down as carefully and tenderly as he could. He might have seen her wince, but it could have been a reflexive action. Dropping the rag with the other used ones, he picked out a clean, dry towel and set his hand to her again, dabbing gently in order to dry the area.
Laying the towel across her hips, he lifted her bottom and pulled the long shirt farther up her back. Then, he lifted her upper body and worked the fine linen up and over her head and arms. The sight of her bare stomach made Daniel think of the unborn child once again. He placed a hand on her like he had done before and tried to feel the baby moving or kicking at all, but he gave up after a minute or two when he thought he saw Vala shiver. Daniel threw the filthy garment over his shoulder to where the other dirty and soiled clothes were piling up, and then he went back to work cleaning her.
Choosing another dry cloth, he wet it, soaped it, and began washing Vala's torso, breasts, and arms, leaving her back and her hands for last. Most of her body had been protected from the elements by her clothes, yet dust and grime coated her hands. Daniel worked on scrubbing and cleaning each finger separately. When he was satisfied he discarded the rag and reached for two more.
More reluctantly than he'd care to admit, he laid the first cloth across her chest, providing whatever modesty he could give her. The second, he dipped into the water once again and bathed her face. Vala's face was just as dusty and grimy as her hands had been. Using less soap than on the rest of her body, Daniel sponged her cheeks, forehead, and neck. Color slowly came back into her skin as the filth was wiped away and the warmth of the fire washed over her.
Throwing the used cloth into the pile with the others, he reached for the cup of water again and held it to her lips. She moaned then, softly, and lifted her head on her own to reach the cup.
Daniel let out an audible sigh and bent low to kiss Vala on the forehead. Her eyelids flitted open and shut rapidly, and as she turned her head back and forth he could see her processing her surroundings.
"Not a dream?"
"Nope, just the same nightmare we've been living for the past five months."
She closed her eyes, then, and sighed. "Oh. Good."
"Do you think you could eat something?"
"I could eat an equine."
Daniel smirked as he stood up and brought one of the bowls of oatmeal back to the bed. "You got to know Teal'c pretty well, didn't you?"
Vala smiled back. "Yes, Muscles has an incredible sense of humor."
"Can you sit up?"
She could, though she had to rest her hand on his thigh for support. Her other hand clutched the towel at her chest to keep it in place. Daniel held up a spoonful of oatmeal for her and she took the bite, swallowing slowly. After five mouthfuls, Vala raised her hand to stop him and lay back down on the bed.
"Too much?" Daniel asked.
"A little. I'll have more in a minute. I just want to lie down."
"It's all right. It'll be here when you're ready for more." Daniel set the bowl down and pulled the bedsheets over her.
"I know I should say something about you seeing me naked again, without me having gotten naked on my own, of course," she gave him a smirk that he knew was half of what it could have been, "but I just can't seem to find the words."
"I kept my eyes closed the whole time." Daniel smiled back at her, but the way his eyes seemed to drift to where her breasts were covered beneath the sheets probably tipped her off that he was lying.
Her smile told him so. "Liar."
Daniel suddenly found the fireplace very intriguing as he looked away from Vala to hide his expression. When he turned back, he brushed his hand over her face and she closed her knowing eyes peacefully. "Try to get some rest," he said finally.
"I want to know what happened. I just wish I could stay awake."
"Rest. We're safe for the moment." She opened her eyes and her expression became worried again. "We really are," he assured her. "This is a resistance safe house. Denya brought over our things and there's a cellar beneath the house with provisions. I'm actually going to go look down there and see if there's anything we can use. But I think we've got all we need for now." Daniel glanced around the house, then met her gaze again. "Are you cold? Do you need another blanket?"
Vala shook her head. "That quilt at my feet should be fine. And the fire is warm." She tried to sit up and reach the blanket but Daniel moved faster and shook it out over her.
"I'll just be downstairs. The oatmeal is here on the table with some water if you get hungry or thirsty." He rubbed her shoulder under the quilt. "Just rest."
Vala nodded and closed her eyes again as Daniel got up and made his way to the cellar.
Vala hated feeling helpless and unable to care for herself. She told herself that she had five minutes to rest, then she'd get up, get dressed, have something to eat, and help Daniel look around. She was not a damsel in distress, she scolded herself, she could take care of herself.
She relaxed quietly on her side and replayed the last few minutes in her mind. She remembered waking up and wanting to feel angry at seeing Daniel smiling down at her. Wanting to rage against him for abandoning her, wanting to vent out all of her fury towards the stupid, arrogant villagers. But the anger dissipated when she'd focused on the cuts and bruises on Daniel's face. He hadn't abandoned her. He'd probably had a narrow escape just like her. Would it have killed him to take the zat?
Sometime later, longer than five minutes, she guessed, but less than an hour hopefully, she pushed herself up and looked around the room. It appeared cozy and warm. She reached for the bowl of food near her and took a few more tentative bites. Sipping from the cup of water, she felt her strength returning. She'd survived another nightmare.
Daniel had certainly helped her, so she couldn't take much of the credit. But she'd survived long enough for him to find her and bring her to safety. Vala held on to that small bit of self-confidence as she stood up and found one of her dark brown dresses and some other clothes Denya had brought for them.
Rifling through the clothes, she found Tulia's book with Daniel's notes and their weapons which they'd brought with them to this galaxy. Looking at the weapons she thought that there was definitely a story Daniel had not yet shared. And she did so love a good yarn. She finished getting dressed and, seeing the pile of dirty clothes in the corner, she lifted them up and took them outside the house. Her first instinct was to burn them and the memories they evoked, yet cleaning them would be more useful. She set them outside the door for now and walked back to the bed and the bucket of dirty water.
Vala's body felt clean, thanks to Daniel, but her hair was still a mess. She wasn't vain, but she felt filthy. She picked up the bucket, some soap, and one of the remaining clean cloths and walked outside. Dumping out the contents, she went to the well to retrieve some fresh water. It was still dark out, but she really needed to do this. She rinsed her hair and lathered it up, feeling a hundred times better when she was able to lightly comb her fingers through it and rinse out the soap. She dumped out the water, filled the bucket once again, and made her way into the house.
Picking up the hairbrush Denya had remembered to bring, she went to the cellar entrance. While combing and drying her hair, she peered inside and called Daniel's name.
Immediately he appeared at the ladder. "Is everything all right?"
"Oh, yes, everything's fine. Just wondering if you're getting into any trouble down there."
"Plenty," he kidded. "But I'm done for now."
Daniel climbed the ladder and handed her a sack when he reached the top rung. Vala practically laughed out loud when she opened the bag and examined the contents while Daniel set the floorboards in place and sealed the entrance to the cellar.
"I'm actually not surprised at all by any of the things you found." She drew out the candles first and explained, "I was a little shocked that you would light a fire that could so easily lead others to us."
"I thought the same thing while I was down there and saw the candles. We should probably douse the fire. I'm sure we're safe, the house is far enough from the village that I doubt anyone will see the smoke, but we probably shouldn't take the chance."
"Agreed." Vala walked over to the table and set down the sack as she continued to pat down her wet hair.
"We could also wait a few more minutes, however, if it'll help your hair dry."
Vala looked up at Daniel and noticed a small grin light up his face. She would definitely torture him later for seeing her naked. But for now, she simply went to sit on the bed with her back to the fire and munched on what looked like a piece of dried, salted beef Daniel had found in the cellar.
"The fact that there were books down there surprises me, yet the fact that you found them does not."
"Funny," Daniel quipped as he also bit into a piece of dried beef and proceeded to describe what he'd discovered in the cellar. Besides towels, blankets, and clothes, there were dried foods and flour as well as other herbs and ingredients for cooking. It was very cold down there, he told her, so that was probably why the food remained relatively unspoiled.
"But obviously, the most fascinating things you found were these books." She lifted one from her lap and eyed it closely.
"Journals actually, written in the same sort of code as in Tulia's book." He picked up another of the books from the table and sat across from her on the mattress. "They're almost like minutes from meetings from what I can tell. But they stop abruptly. Here's the last entry."
Vala took another bite of the beef and nodded to Daniel to begin. "Well, it appears Ber and Kira were away, again, visiting resistance members in another village. Tulia had remained behind." Daniel paused while he read silently and frowned. "The entry describes her murder. They didn't know how the prior knew, but he found her and burned her in the altar just like Denya told us. Ber and Kira could not be found quickly enough. They weren't there to help her. Seevis…"
"Stop."
Daniel looked up, locking gazes with her. "I'm sorry."
"It's all right." Vala took a deep breath. "I just wish someone would stand up to these priors." She shook her head. "But they can't. The priors have too many powers. I suppose they can't read minds, though, or else all of us would've been caught long before now."
Vala handed him back the journal she'd been holding and went to the hearth to poke at the smoldering logs. Daniel lit a few candles around the room, then came up behind her with a bowl of water to douse the remaining flames.
"You're very lucky." She stared at the hearth, trying to find her armor.
"Huh?"
"All those cuts and bruises on your face." She turned from the hearth to look at him, a hint of sympathy as well as a small smirk in her eyes. "They're keeping me from jumping your bones."
Daniel took a second to read her expression and respond accordingly, giving her a small smile. "I'll have to thank Tomin then. Getting beaten up is so much less traumatic than being jumped by you."
Vala nudged his elbow with hers. "That almost sounds like you'd like me to pounce on you."
"Naw, I'm pretty sure I'd hate it." He went to nudge her elbow, but ended up stroking it gently.
Vala's heart fluttered a little at the touch. She either needed to move away and spare herself the heartache or give in to the impulse and risk hurting them both in the process.
In the end she remained still. "This isn't working," she breathed, staring back at the hearth, begging herself to shut up.
Daniel stopped stroking her arm. "What's not working?" he asked quietly.
Don't say anything, her mind pleaded. "This. Between us." Vala sighed and closed her eyes. "I want you. But I don't want to want you. I'm giving up my self, my independence every time you rescue me from some catastrophe. I felt this same way after that first time in Ver Eger. I was able to get past it, but it's getting harder now."
"Why?"
She turned around to look at Daniel, tilting her head at his question.
"Why is it harder now than before?" he clarified.
Vala shrugged her shoulders and looked away from him. "I thought it was…simply lust at the time. Just physical attraction. I know what that feels like, that's what it was. I was able to slip back behind my defenses soon afterwards. I felt normal." She focused on a candle on the table nearby. She couldn't look Daniel in the eyes while revealing all this about herself. "But now, everything's different."
"How?" he prodded.
"I don't know how!" She threw her hands up in the air in frustration. "It just is." Vala turned to face him. "Because it's more than lust, it's more than physical attraction. You are attractive. Your whole being. And it's messing with my…with my equilibrium. We were teasing a few moments ago, and that helped, but then I look at you, and despite the cuts and bruises, I want to strip you naked and have my way with you." She huffed audibly and sank onto the mattress.
Daniel cleared his throat and took a small step back. "Okay. Well, let's consider that Plan B."
Vala scoffed. "If only. I'd be lucky if it were Plan Z."
Daniel paused a moment before confessing, "Would it help to know that you're messing with my equilibrium, too?"
She shook her head. "No, that just means that neither of us will be able to stop the other." And while it might be good for a while, she thought to herself, we both know it would end disastrously. We'd both get hurt.
Daniel sat next to her on the bed and against her better judgment she didn't move away. She waited for the sauciness to come back. She waited for a snappy remark when he rested his hand on her knee. But there was nothing. She looked into his eyes and all she could remember was him carrying her, him kissing her forehead and giving her water. Him spoon-feeding her and trying not to look at her body.
"I'd say give it a day, you'll probably be back to normal tomorrow." His words seemed playful but his tone was kind.
"I suppose." Her gaze lowered to his mouth, and rather than let herself imagine kissing him, she focused on his beard and noticed it had become extra scraggly. "I saw the razor blades in the sack, too," she said softly, trying to change the subject. "Were you going to shave your beard?"
Daniel brought a hand up to his face. "I was thinking about trimming it when I saw the blades down in the cellar. It's getting really scratchy."
Vala raised her hand to his cheek, allowing herself the barest of caresses. Lowering her hand quickly, she stood up carefully so as not to get dizzy and walked over to the kitchen table. "I could help if you want. There don't appear to be any mirrors around here."
Daniel eyed her warily. "Have you ever shaved a man before?"
She nodded. "It's not difficult. Here, sit down. I'll wash and cut your hair a little, too." She could feel her defenses coming back as she smiled. "You're getting that werewolf look."
"Werewolf?"
"Movie night with Teal'c and Mitchell. We saw Teen Wolf with Michael J. Fox in it."
Daniel came over to her and sat down. "When was that?"
Vala stood behind him and wet his hair. "A few days after the mission to P8X-412." She straightened up and lifted her chin with a smile as she remembered the aftermath of that mission. "I think their attitudes about me may have changed a bit when I went after that prior with a P-90, for all the good it did," she finished more quietly.
"Sorry I missed it."
Vala shrugged as she rinsed the soap from his hair and began trimming it. "You were busy."
It really wasn't that hard at all to wash and shave Daniel. And it served an important underlying purpose. That even though he had taken care of her, she could take care of him as well. It was a small thing, but she wanted to remain on equal footing with him, as much as she could anyway.
She asked him questions while she cut his hair and started shaving his beard, like what had happened to him and if the other guy looked just as bad. Daniel laughed and said that he hadn't even left a scratch on his captor. He went into what happened then. He told her how he'd been caught, beaten and locked up. He explained how Ber and Panos had found him and why Seevis had abducted her and punished her on the altar. He was very patient with his story, waiting until she was rinsing the blade before he told the next part.
"I suppose I understand why Seevis did what he did." Vala drew the razor over Daniel's chin smoothly. "It's extremely dangerous for them to go against the priors and the Ori. I want to be angry and hate them, but I can't."
"I know exactly what you mean. I wanted to find Seevis immediately and pummel him when I heard what he'd done to you. But it wouldn't have done any good. According to their logic, what they'd done had kept you alive. If Tomin had gone to the prior, you surely would have been cleansed."
Daniel shuddered just then and she almost nicked him, but fortunately her hand was steady. Vala finished the job and Daniel wiped his face with the towel. Then he smoothed his hands over his jaw and cheeks, as if feeling whole again for the first time.
"Thank you, Vala."
She resisted the urge to touch his face and simply nodded. "You're welcome, Daniel."
The following two days passed slowly. Vala mixed herbs together with an oil to heal the dry, cracked skin on her hands and face, and Daniel kept a rag soaked in cold wellwater on his eye to reduce any swelling.
Neither of them wished to deplete the stores in the cellar, so on the second morning they went hunting together, since Daniel had no intention of leaving Vala alone at all. Daniel was able to zat a couple of squirrels, and on the way back to the house, Vala found a berry bush Kira had taught her was not poisonous. They risked a fire to cook their meal, but as soon as they were finished they put it out, still wary that the villagers might find them.
At night, they slept close together. They rationalized it because the bed was smaller than they were accustomed to and that since they didn't build a fire at night, sleeping close would keep them warm. They rationalized it but deep down they were glad for the comfort they could give to and get from each other.
Neither had made that first move to reach for the other. It was completely mutual. It was a silent yet joint acknowledgement of their desires when Vala turned into Daniel's shoulder and Daniel encircled her in his arms. If Vala turned over in her sleep to lie on her other side, Daniel turned with her, curling his body around her, holding her hand, keeping her close. It was the only contact they allowed each other. It was chaste and it was not. They fell asleep dreaming of the other, of a life they could have together, a real life.
They didn't talk, they didn't reveal, they simply held each other.
Chapter 12: http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/10712.html
AUTHOR: aeryn_b
RATING: R (some mature suggestive themes, nothing explicit)
WARNING: none
CATEGORY: Alternate Universe, Romance, Adventure, Hurt/Comfort
PAIRINGS: Daniel/Vala
CHARACTERS: Daniel Jackson, Vala Mal Doran
SPOILERS/TIMELINE: "Beachhead" through Season 9 to "Flesh and Blood"
SUMMARY/PREMISE: What happens if both Vala AND Daniel are transported to the Ori galaxy at the end of "Beachhead"? How will they survive and how will they get back?
Chapter 1 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/7859.html
Chapter 2 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/8109.html
Chapter 3 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/8411.html
Chapter 4 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/8464.html
Chapter 5 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/8747.html
Chapter 6 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/9042.html
Chapter 7 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/9319.html
Chapter 8 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/9507.html
Chapter 9 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/9873.html
Chapter 10 http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/10219.html
Click here to read on FFN
Click here to read on alldanielfic.com
So this chapter is more of a Hurt/Comfort chapter than anything else, and therefore it might be considered slightly out of character. Confession: I read a lot of romance novels. So yeah, if Daniel appears to be a little bit like a typical romance novel hero...sorry 'bout that. I just really, really wanted there to be a sweet, comforting scene like this.
Also, I'm really trying to prolong the "big moment." I honestly don't know if Vala would behave like this. I do think she has actual moments of vulnerability in the show, so her feeling vulnerable and out of sorts here seems at least halfway believable. Again, my previous warning stands. If this seems stupid and unbelievable, move along. It's my story and I'm stickin' to it. ;)
Oh, and always, thank you for reading. Please enjoy. :)
Chapter 11
It felt like it was taking him forever to reach the safe house. Daniel just couldn't get there fast enough. Vala needed water and food. Her clothes needed changing and she needed to be washed. She needed to rest on a bed where she'd be safe. Daniel didn't dare stop to rest for himself. Relying on the adrenaline in his system to put one foot in front of the other, he carried Vala away from harm to relative safety.
When he arrived, he glanced back and it appeared they hadn't been followed. And the house did, in fact, look safe. The hearth was prepared for a fire, two large bowls of an oatmeal-like dish were on the table, and a bucket of water sat near the sink. There was also a wide bed made up with clean sheets and blankets set close to the hearth.
Laying Vala down on the bed, he stripped off her shoes and her sweaty, soiled dress. The knee-length shirt beneath the dress was in much worse shape as it looked to be stuck to her body. Eyeing her cautiously Daniel went to the kitchen area to get a cup of water and noticed a note tucked beneath one of the bowls on the table. It was from Denya.
She apologized for not being able to stay, but her absence would arouse suspicion. She hoped Panos would come soon and tidy up a little more. She also instructed which herbs and oils to mix for Vala's skin and told him to be careful of feeding her too quickly in case her body rejected too much food too fast. She mentioned a secret cellar beneath the house, which contained foodstuffs and other provisions they might need. The entrance was beneath the floorboards where the bed had once been on the far wall. Glancing to the place she indicated, Daniel moved closer and noticed Earth's stargate symbol once again, carved lightly into a wooden plank. Lifting the plank proved simple enough and soon he had removed an entire section of the floor to provide access to the cellar.
He would inventory it later, but for now, he had to tend to Vala. Daniel first went to light the fire in the hearth, then brought the bucket of water from the sink, an armful of clean cloths, and a cup back to Vala's side. Sitting next to her, he propped her up into a sitting position and brushed her hair away from her face.
Eventually, her eyelids fluttered open. "Vala, can you hear me?" She nodded and he lifted her head and tipped some water into her mouth, watching her lips work the liquid voluntarily. Daniel hoped she'd wake up fully, because he'd clean her if he had to, but he'd rather give her the option of doing it herself. But even as he thought it, she fell back asleep, her head resting listlessly against his shoulder.
"All right then, but I tried to wake you up, so don't yell at me later for this."
Daniel reached for her socks first, pulling off the odorous garments. He dipped a cloth in the bucket, soaped it, and wiped her feet clean. Changing cloths, he washed and rinsed her lower legs. Then, keeping her covered as best he could with the dirty under-gown, he ran the cloth over her thighs.
As he washed her, his fingers brushed past her underwear. It was stiff, as if it had been wet and then dried against her skin. Daniel hooked his fingers under the material and gently drew it off her body. The first thing he noticed were the spots of blood dotting the cotton material.
The words of the Doci from his dream came back to Daniel then: "The child is our Orici."
Had the baby survived this? Would the Ori protect their own? Were they even aware of Vala's torture? Daniel wouldn't let the questions bother him. Vala was the one who needed him. There was nothing he could do now about the baby's uncertain fate.
After soaking and wringing out the cloth, Daniel spread Vala's legs slightly and, keeping her covered, he wiped her down as carefully and tenderly as he could. He might have seen her wince, but it could have been a reflexive action. Dropping the rag with the other used ones, he picked out a clean, dry towel and set his hand to her again, dabbing gently in order to dry the area.
Laying the towel across her hips, he lifted her bottom and pulled the long shirt farther up her back. Then, he lifted her upper body and worked the fine linen up and over her head and arms. The sight of her bare stomach made Daniel think of the unborn child once again. He placed a hand on her like he had done before and tried to feel the baby moving or kicking at all, but he gave up after a minute or two when he thought he saw Vala shiver. Daniel threw the filthy garment over his shoulder to where the other dirty and soiled clothes were piling up, and then he went back to work cleaning her.
Choosing another dry cloth, he wet it, soaped it, and began washing Vala's torso, breasts, and arms, leaving her back and her hands for last. Most of her body had been protected from the elements by her clothes, yet dust and grime coated her hands. Daniel worked on scrubbing and cleaning each finger separately. When he was satisfied he discarded the rag and reached for two more.
More reluctantly than he'd care to admit, he laid the first cloth across her chest, providing whatever modesty he could give her. The second, he dipped into the water once again and bathed her face. Vala's face was just as dusty and grimy as her hands had been. Using less soap than on the rest of her body, Daniel sponged her cheeks, forehead, and neck. Color slowly came back into her skin as the filth was wiped away and the warmth of the fire washed over her.
Throwing the used cloth into the pile with the others, he reached for the cup of water again and held it to her lips. She moaned then, softly, and lifted her head on her own to reach the cup.
Daniel let out an audible sigh and bent low to kiss Vala on the forehead. Her eyelids flitted open and shut rapidly, and as she turned her head back and forth he could see her processing her surroundings.
"Not a dream?"
"Nope, just the same nightmare we've been living for the past five months."
She closed her eyes, then, and sighed. "Oh. Good."
"Do you think you could eat something?"
"I could eat an equine."
Daniel smirked as he stood up and brought one of the bowls of oatmeal back to the bed. "You got to know Teal'c pretty well, didn't you?"
Vala smiled back. "Yes, Muscles has an incredible sense of humor."
"Can you sit up?"
She could, though she had to rest her hand on his thigh for support. Her other hand clutched the towel at her chest to keep it in place. Daniel held up a spoonful of oatmeal for her and she took the bite, swallowing slowly. After five mouthfuls, Vala raised her hand to stop him and lay back down on the bed.
"Too much?" Daniel asked.
"A little. I'll have more in a minute. I just want to lie down."
"It's all right. It'll be here when you're ready for more." Daniel set the bowl down and pulled the bedsheets over her.
"I know I should say something about you seeing me naked again, without me having gotten naked on my own, of course," she gave him a smirk that he knew was half of what it could have been, "but I just can't seem to find the words."
"I kept my eyes closed the whole time." Daniel smiled back at her, but the way his eyes seemed to drift to where her breasts were covered beneath the sheets probably tipped her off that he was lying.
Her smile told him so. "Liar."
Daniel suddenly found the fireplace very intriguing as he looked away from Vala to hide his expression. When he turned back, he brushed his hand over her face and she closed her knowing eyes peacefully. "Try to get some rest," he said finally.
"I want to know what happened. I just wish I could stay awake."
"Rest. We're safe for the moment." She opened her eyes and her expression became worried again. "We really are," he assured her. "This is a resistance safe house. Denya brought over our things and there's a cellar beneath the house with provisions. I'm actually going to go look down there and see if there's anything we can use. But I think we've got all we need for now." Daniel glanced around the house, then met her gaze again. "Are you cold? Do you need another blanket?"
Vala shook her head. "That quilt at my feet should be fine. And the fire is warm." She tried to sit up and reach the blanket but Daniel moved faster and shook it out over her.
"I'll just be downstairs. The oatmeal is here on the table with some water if you get hungry or thirsty." He rubbed her shoulder under the quilt. "Just rest."
Vala nodded and closed her eyes again as Daniel got up and made his way to the cellar.
Vala hated feeling helpless and unable to care for herself. She told herself that she had five minutes to rest, then she'd get up, get dressed, have something to eat, and help Daniel look around. She was not a damsel in distress, she scolded herself, she could take care of herself.
She relaxed quietly on her side and replayed the last few minutes in her mind. She remembered waking up and wanting to feel angry at seeing Daniel smiling down at her. Wanting to rage against him for abandoning her, wanting to vent out all of her fury towards the stupid, arrogant villagers. But the anger dissipated when she'd focused on the cuts and bruises on Daniel's face. He hadn't abandoned her. He'd probably had a narrow escape just like her. Would it have killed him to take the zat?
Sometime later, longer than five minutes, she guessed, but less than an hour hopefully, she pushed herself up and looked around the room. It appeared cozy and warm. She reached for the bowl of food near her and took a few more tentative bites. Sipping from the cup of water, she felt her strength returning. She'd survived another nightmare.
Daniel had certainly helped her, so she couldn't take much of the credit. But she'd survived long enough for him to find her and bring her to safety. Vala held on to that small bit of self-confidence as she stood up and found one of her dark brown dresses and some other clothes Denya had brought for them.
Rifling through the clothes, she found Tulia's book with Daniel's notes and their weapons which they'd brought with them to this galaxy. Looking at the weapons she thought that there was definitely a story Daniel had not yet shared. And she did so love a good yarn. She finished getting dressed and, seeing the pile of dirty clothes in the corner, she lifted them up and took them outside the house. Her first instinct was to burn them and the memories they evoked, yet cleaning them would be more useful. She set them outside the door for now and walked back to the bed and the bucket of dirty water.
Vala's body felt clean, thanks to Daniel, but her hair was still a mess. She wasn't vain, but she felt filthy. She picked up the bucket, some soap, and one of the remaining clean cloths and walked outside. Dumping out the contents, she went to the well to retrieve some fresh water. It was still dark out, but she really needed to do this. She rinsed her hair and lathered it up, feeling a hundred times better when she was able to lightly comb her fingers through it and rinse out the soap. She dumped out the water, filled the bucket once again, and made her way into the house.
Picking up the hairbrush Denya had remembered to bring, she went to the cellar entrance. While combing and drying her hair, she peered inside and called Daniel's name.
Immediately he appeared at the ladder. "Is everything all right?"
"Oh, yes, everything's fine. Just wondering if you're getting into any trouble down there."
"Plenty," he kidded. "But I'm done for now."
Daniel climbed the ladder and handed her a sack when he reached the top rung. Vala practically laughed out loud when she opened the bag and examined the contents while Daniel set the floorboards in place and sealed the entrance to the cellar.
"I'm actually not surprised at all by any of the things you found." She drew out the candles first and explained, "I was a little shocked that you would light a fire that could so easily lead others to us."
"I thought the same thing while I was down there and saw the candles. We should probably douse the fire. I'm sure we're safe, the house is far enough from the village that I doubt anyone will see the smoke, but we probably shouldn't take the chance."
"Agreed." Vala walked over to the table and set down the sack as she continued to pat down her wet hair.
"We could also wait a few more minutes, however, if it'll help your hair dry."
Vala looked up at Daniel and noticed a small grin light up his face. She would definitely torture him later for seeing her naked. But for now, she simply went to sit on the bed with her back to the fire and munched on what looked like a piece of dried, salted beef Daniel had found in the cellar.
"The fact that there were books down there surprises me, yet the fact that you found them does not."
"Funny," Daniel quipped as he also bit into a piece of dried beef and proceeded to describe what he'd discovered in the cellar. Besides towels, blankets, and clothes, there were dried foods and flour as well as other herbs and ingredients for cooking. It was very cold down there, he told her, so that was probably why the food remained relatively unspoiled.
"But obviously, the most fascinating things you found were these books." She lifted one from her lap and eyed it closely.
"Journals actually, written in the same sort of code as in Tulia's book." He picked up another of the books from the table and sat across from her on the mattress. "They're almost like minutes from meetings from what I can tell. But they stop abruptly. Here's the last entry."
Vala took another bite of the beef and nodded to Daniel to begin. "Well, it appears Ber and Kira were away, again, visiting resistance members in another village. Tulia had remained behind." Daniel paused while he read silently and frowned. "The entry describes her murder. They didn't know how the prior knew, but he found her and burned her in the altar just like Denya told us. Ber and Kira could not be found quickly enough. They weren't there to help her. Seevis…"
"Stop."
Daniel looked up, locking gazes with her. "I'm sorry."
"It's all right." Vala took a deep breath. "I just wish someone would stand up to these priors." She shook her head. "But they can't. The priors have too many powers. I suppose they can't read minds, though, or else all of us would've been caught long before now."
Vala handed him back the journal she'd been holding and went to the hearth to poke at the smoldering logs. Daniel lit a few candles around the room, then came up behind her with a bowl of water to douse the remaining flames.
"You're very lucky." She stared at the hearth, trying to find her armor.
"Huh?"
"All those cuts and bruises on your face." She turned from the hearth to look at him, a hint of sympathy as well as a small smirk in her eyes. "They're keeping me from jumping your bones."
Daniel took a second to read her expression and respond accordingly, giving her a small smile. "I'll have to thank Tomin then. Getting beaten up is so much less traumatic than being jumped by you."
Vala nudged his elbow with hers. "That almost sounds like you'd like me to pounce on you."
"Naw, I'm pretty sure I'd hate it." He went to nudge her elbow, but ended up stroking it gently.
Vala's heart fluttered a little at the touch. She either needed to move away and spare herself the heartache or give in to the impulse and risk hurting them both in the process.
In the end she remained still. "This isn't working," she breathed, staring back at the hearth, begging herself to shut up.
Daniel stopped stroking her arm. "What's not working?" he asked quietly.
Don't say anything, her mind pleaded. "This. Between us." Vala sighed and closed her eyes. "I want you. But I don't want to want you. I'm giving up my self, my independence every time you rescue me from some catastrophe. I felt this same way after that first time in Ver Eger. I was able to get past it, but it's getting harder now."
"Why?"
She turned around to look at Daniel, tilting her head at his question.
"Why is it harder now than before?" he clarified.
Vala shrugged her shoulders and looked away from him. "I thought it was…simply lust at the time. Just physical attraction. I know what that feels like, that's what it was. I was able to slip back behind my defenses soon afterwards. I felt normal." She focused on a candle on the table nearby. She couldn't look Daniel in the eyes while revealing all this about herself. "But now, everything's different."
"How?" he prodded.
"I don't know how!" She threw her hands up in the air in frustration. "It just is." Vala turned to face him. "Because it's more than lust, it's more than physical attraction. You are attractive. Your whole being. And it's messing with my…with my equilibrium. We were teasing a few moments ago, and that helped, but then I look at you, and despite the cuts and bruises, I want to strip you naked and have my way with you." She huffed audibly and sank onto the mattress.
Daniel cleared his throat and took a small step back. "Okay. Well, let's consider that Plan B."
Vala scoffed. "If only. I'd be lucky if it were Plan Z."
Daniel paused a moment before confessing, "Would it help to know that you're messing with my equilibrium, too?"
She shook her head. "No, that just means that neither of us will be able to stop the other." And while it might be good for a while, she thought to herself, we both know it would end disastrously. We'd both get hurt.
Daniel sat next to her on the bed and against her better judgment she didn't move away. She waited for the sauciness to come back. She waited for a snappy remark when he rested his hand on her knee. But there was nothing. She looked into his eyes and all she could remember was him carrying her, him kissing her forehead and giving her water. Him spoon-feeding her and trying not to look at her body.
"I'd say give it a day, you'll probably be back to normal tomorrow." His words seemed playful but his tone was kind.
"I suppose." Her gaze lowered to his mouth, and rather than let herself imagine kissing him, she focused on his beard and noticed it had become extra scraggly. "I saw the razor blades in the sack, too," she said softly, trying to change the subject. "Were you going to shave your beard?"
Daniel brought a hand up to his face. "I was thinking about trimming it when I saw the blades down in the cellar. It's getting really scratchy."
Vala raised her hand to his cheek, allowing herself the barest of caresses. Lowering her hand quickly, she stood up carefully so as not to get dizzy and walked over to the kitchen table. "I could help if you want. There don't appear to be any mirrors around here."
Daniel eyed her warily. "Have you ever shaved a man before?"
She nodded. "It's not difficult. Here, sit down. I'll wash and cut your hair a little, too." She could feel her defenses coming back as she smiled. "You're getting that werewolf look."
"Werewolf?"
"Movie night with Teal'c and Mitchell. We saw Teen Wolf with Michael J. Fox in it."
Daniel came over to her and sat down. "When was that?"
Vala stood behind him and wet his hair. "A few days after the mission to P8X-412." She straightened up and lifted her chin with a smile as she remembered the aftermath of that mission. "I think their attitudes about me may have changed a bit when I went after that prior with a P-90, for all the good it did," she finished more quietly.
"Sorry I missed it."
Vala shrugged as she rinsed the soap from his hair and began trimming it. "You were busy."
It really wasn't that hard at all to wash and shave Daniel. And it served an important underlying purpose. That even though he had taken care of her, she could take care of him as well. It was a small thing, but she wanted to remain on equal footing with him, as much as she could anyway.
She asked him questions while she cut his hair and started shaving his beard, like what had happened to him and if the other guy looked just as bad. Daniel laughed and said that he hadn't even left a scratch on his captor. He went into what happened then. He told her how he'd been caught, beaten and locked up. He explained how Ber and Panos had found him and why Seevis had abducted her and punished her on the altar. He was very patient with his story, waiting until she was rinsing the blade before he told the next part.
"I suppose I understand why Seevis did what he did." Vala drew the razor over Daniel's chin smoothly. "It's extremely dangerous for them to go against the priors and the Ori. I want to be angry and hate them, but I can't."
"I know exactly what you mean. I wanted to find Seevis immediately and pummel him when I heard what he'd done to you. But it wouldn't have done any good. According to their logic, what they'd done had kept you alive. If Tomin had gone to the prior, you surely would have been cleansed."
Daniel shuddered just then and she almost nicked him, but fortunately her hand was steady. Vala finished the job and Daniel wiped his face with the towel. Then he smoothed his hands over his jaw and cheeks, as if feeling whole again for the first time.
"Thank you, Vala."
She resisted the urge to touch his face and simply nodded. "You're welcome, Daniel."
The following two days passed slowly. Vala mixed herbs together with an oil to heal the dry, cracked skin on her hands and face, and Daniel kept a rag soaked in cold wellwater on his eye to reduce any swelling.
Neither of them wished to deplete the stores in the cellar, so on the second morning they went hunting together, since Daniel had no intention of leaving Vala alone at all. Daniel was able to zat a couple of squirrels, and on the way back to the house, Vala found a berry bush Kira had taught her was not poisonous. They risked a fire to cook their meal, but as soon as they were finished they put it out, still wary that the villagers might find them.
At night, they slept close together. They rationalized it because the bed was smaller than they were accustomed to and that since they didn't build a fire at night, sleeping close would keep them warm. They rationalized it but deep down they were glad for the comfort they could give to and get from each other.
Neither had made that first move to reach for the other. It was completely mutual. It was a silent yet joint acknowledgement of their desires when Vala turned into Daniel's shoulder and Daniel encircled her in his arms. If Vala turned over in her sleep to lie on her other side, Daniel turned with her, curling his body around her, holding her hand, keeping her close. It was the only contact they allowed each other. It was chaste and it was not. They fell asleep dreaming of the other, of a life they could have together, a real life.
They didn't talk, they didn't reveal, they simply held each other.
Chapter 12: http://aeryn-b.livejournal.com/10712.html