Fic: The Stillness (10/?) Dean/Castiel
Title: The Stillness, Chapter 10- The Spiral
Author: Aerilex
Fandom: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Friendship/Pre-slash
Rating: PG
Characters: Dean, Crowley, Balthazar, Castiel, Sam, Bobby, Eve
Word Count: ~4,150
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you know here.
Warnings: AU from 6x15, but expect highlights from several episodes after
Summary: Dean finally gets to go look for Cas.
A/N: Another awkward chapter break, I apologize beforehand. This one's a lot longer than usual though! Enjoy! :)
Chapter Nine
There are three things a furious Dean Winchester should not have to deal with when he is at this level of fury. The initial is disappearing angels who haven’t answered a single goddamn question Dean has asked about Castiel. The second is a pain-in-the-ass little brother who wears puppy dog eyes and for some reason manages to learn Jedi mind powers whenever he freaking feels like it.
This is why Dean is currently sitting and glowering at the spot where Balthazar had last stood instead of pacing the floor plotting ways to slowly murder the bastard. Sam with his stupid brain and his stupid logic had stupidly said something like we can’t do anything until he gets back and it might only make getting to Cas harder if Balthazar has to come looking for us on top of everything else.
Stupid. This whole fucking thing. Just so fucking stupid.
Which leads to the third thing that a furious Dean Winchester shouldn’t have to deal with, which is waiting as patiently as he possibly fucking can only to be interrupted from his waiting and brooding and being generally pissed off by the arrival of an all-too-smug, apparently-not-as-dead-as-they-thought motherfucking King of the Crossroads. Erm, King of Hell. Whatever.
Dean is on his feet, the Colt that had been tap-tap-tapping against his thigh pointed at the demon before Crowley could even fully manifest, his customary tumbler of scotch pressed to his lips and one dark brow arched in amusement. Crowley’s eyes stared down the length of the barrel pointed at his nose, and he tipped the glass from his mouth to say with a smirk, "Good reflexes, Winchester. Did you miss me?"
Dean doesn’t even have the time to fully form the furious what the fuck on his lips before he is suddenly ass-planted into the couch, the Colt clattering to the floor by his feet as Balthazar takes up the space the hunter had just occupied. Balthazar fixes a look on the hunter and directs Dean to, "Sit, stay." Balthazar turns to Crowley then, and rolls his shoulders as though shrugging off a coat. Dean opens his mouth to speak and Balthazar flicks a wrist. "And be still. Mum and Dad need to chit-chat." The words Dean intends to deliver, a well-earned fuck off, escape in the form of a choked-off gasp. The hunter starts aiming all kinds of mental swearing at the back of Balthazar’s head when he realizes his voice has been muted.
"So," Balthazar says, focusing again on Crowley. "Where can I break into the area we discussed?"
"You can’t," Crowley supplies, quirking a brow. Balthazar frowns. With a sigh, Crowley explained, "At least not without a guide, and knowing our history, I assume you’ll want me to be doing that."
History? Dean thinks loudly. What freakin’ history is this dick talking about?
As curious as he is, he leans forward to eagerly listen to what Crowley is saying now. "It isn’t Hell’s territory we’re breaking into, though. You should remember that."
"Of course, love," Balthazar leers. Dean may be sick. The angel looks over his shoulder, eyebrows up as he meets Dean’s gaze. "If that’s all, I need to get the kids bundled up. Poor Dean may burst if he doesn’t get the chance to yell at me soon."
Fuck you, Dean says through his glare. Balthazar smiles at him sweetly, and blows a kiss. Dean rolls his eyes.
Crowley looks unimpressed, quirks a brow at them. "I’ll meet you at the usual place," he says to Balthazar then blinks out of sight.
Dean has about three seconds to wonder what the hell that was all about, then his throat tingles and when he coughs experimentally he is relieved to have his voice back. He’s on his feet almost instantly, crowding into Balthazar’s space with his finger very nearly jabbing the angel’s throat. "You’re gonna tell me what the hell’s going on, or I’m gonna find the most excruciating way possible to kill you."
Balthazar gives him a bland look. "Winchester, you have no idea how to make an angel hurt. And unfortunately for you, I don’t give a damn about hurting you back." He intercedes whatever Dean means to say, laying a hand upon Dean’s shoulder as though to hold him in place. "Look, Winchester, I don’t have the time to hold your little hand and tell you it’s all going to be okay. Crowley’s still alive. We can’t kill him. Now you know. The more important thing for you to hold in your puny little mind is that Cassy is in mortal peril and if you and the moose-boy are going with me to save him, you need to be ready yesterday."
He pushes Dean back, and Dean stumbles once but already has it fixed in his mind that Cas is in serious shit and we’re going to get him now, oh my God finally. "Sammy! Bobby!" he calls on his way out of the house and to the Impala to gather together supplies he knows he might need. He takes Ruby’s knife, the Colt, some steel and salt rounds along with his sawed-off, a .45 just in case. He puts together some of Sam’s stuff, too, and grabs some holy oil and holy water for the road. Sam and Bobby are already in the living room with Balthazar, who seems to be taking the time to tell them about the rescue mission.
Bobby exchanges a short glance with Dean as the younger hunter joins them. "Sounds like we may need the panic room," he says gruffly. "I’ll stay here and get everything ready." Ward against everything on God’s green Earth and beyond, is what Dean hears and he nods in agreement. Whatever crap Cas is in right now, they’re going to need to be prepared. Dean is still itching to get some answers about Crowley, but for the moment Cas is at the top of his priorities list. He can kick the angels’ asses and demand to know what’s actually going on with that when he gets Cas back, safe and sound.
He tosses Sam his duffel, and turns to Balthazar with an expectant look. Balthazar smiles charmingly, but it looks too forced to be real. "You boys ready to go?" Neither Dean nor Sam responds before Balthazar claps his hands together then reaches for each of their shoulders. And then the world is spinning around them and Dean almost forgets to bend his knees to compensate for the feeling of having the floor ripped out from underneath him as they move through space.
~
He is the sun. He is burning, bright white flames consuming all of him.
Gray, red, gray, red, green, red, gray.
He is shadow, dark and clinging to the stillness of quiet.
Lash, lash, lash goes the whip against this body’s strange new flesh. Pain echoes, but never reaches him. He is beyond this.
His wings were white once, white like pearls. They are burning, burning, destroyed and ash-gray and coal-black and blue like blooming bruises. Burning.
Gray, black, blue, white, green, gray, red.
"Just let go now, little one," she coos to him, voice like velvet drawn across steel.
He ignores her. Nothing exists. Everything is over. He fades away, away, away to the fire.
He fades away, clinging still to that image of green.
He is the sun.
~
Sam looks the same way Dean feels when Crowley is waiting for them after they land. When he shoots Dean a questioning look, Dean shrugs and shakes his head. We’ll deal with it later. Sam doesn’t look very happy about it, but he nods quietly and takes a long look around.
The area is unfamiliar. It looks like the bowels of a hospital building, all white walls and floors stained red by the faintly-glowing lights overhead. They enter the hall inside a shadowy doorway, Balthazar already bursting into movement toward the demon awaiting them. Crowley smiles and tips his glass in greeting toward the Winchesters as he joins Balthazar in his walk toward another door on the far end of the hall. Unlike the open portal they entered through, Dean sees that the double doors opposite it are shut up tight. Old, rusting chains are wound between the push bars of the doors, and there seems to be some sort of bar lock overtop that. The door trembles as if in anticipation the closer the demon and the angel come to it.
Dean glances at Sam. "This is all kinds of shady. Where are we?"
"Uh, I’m not sure..." Sam looks around once, and tenses. "But I don’t really like it. Feels..." He struggles for a moment, and when Dean raises an eyebrow, finally finishes, "...odd."
Dean rolls his shoulders in agreement, and hefts his duffel up onto his shoulder while keeping his other hand on his shotgun as he and Sam cross the hall to join Balthazar and Crowley. The angel is inspecting the sealed-off door closely, fingertips brushing over his chin. Crowley has one hand pressed against the surface of the door as though to hold it against whatever force continues to shake the door in little jolts, like something is trying to escape it.
"Okay, I’ll bite," Dean says at last, joining the Fairly Odd Couple at the weird door. "The hell is this?" He gestures with the shotgun in the direction of the door. Crowley releases an impatient sigh, as though simply sharing the same space as Dean is causing him a migraine.
"It’s a doorway into the Forbidden Place," Balthazar explains, marginally more patient than his demonic partner. "The parts of Limbo that are beyond Heaven and Hell."
"You usually need a guide to get very far in," Crowley continues in the angel’s stead. "There are rumors that Purgatory is hidden there."
"So of course you would know about it," Sam surmises with a roll of his eyes. Dean smirks at him. He’s kind of glad he’s got Sam with him. He isn’t sure how he would cope with both Balthazar and Crowley otherwise. A quiet part of Dean is already plotting ways to kill Crowley as soon as he can. He fingers the trigger of the shotgun, wondering how he can subtly reach for the Colt and when. For the most part, though, he is willing to prioritize.
"Is anyone gonna fill us in on what’s really going on?" Dean demands gruffly, staring at the angel and the demon staring at the door. "I mean, we know about Cas being a candidate to turn into the Phoenix or whatever, but what do you two know that’s got you all riled up?"
Balthazar pauses, glances aside to Crowley. Crowley only looks all the more amused by the whole situation. Dean foregoes his plan to kill Crowley with the Colt and wonders if he can punch a demon to death. The pregnant pause lasts a moment longer than Dean can stand, and he throws up his hands in exasperation. "Well?"
Balthazar grunts a sigh. "So there’s something you darling boys don’t know about the Arisen," he lilts in that strange, too-pleasant tone. Dean raises both brows, nodding encouragement. "If the Arisen and transmuted into a Phoenix, they don’t simply have the power to destroy the All-Mother." Dean checks Sam, who furrows his brow in puzzlement. Dean’s right there with him, so he refocuses on Balthazar to await whatever the angel is going to say. Balthazar takes in a deep breath and releases it slowly. "If the Arisen is transmuted and becomes the Phoenix, the Arisen becomes a very powerful being. But they are under the control of whomsoever performs the rite to transmute them. They become the most dangerous weapon to all the Powers-Heaven’s Champion, Hell’s Warden, Purgatory’s Keeper, the Mortals’ Sentry, and Death’s Overseer."
"Okay?" Dean says dubiously.
Crowley huffs impatiently again. "Have you got any brains in the space between your ears, boy?" he demands as he spins to face the Winchesters. "Your boyfriend is in the area where Purgatory may rest, and he is most likely being used to turn into a weapon to take over the free world." He gives a pointed look at Dean, who stares blankly back. Crowley rolls his eyes Heavenward briefly, then glares at Dean. "He’s been kidnapped by Eve, you moron!"
The world falls out from under Dean again.
~
Eve has Castiel. Now that someone finally told him, it makes perfect sense. Balthazar and Crowley both seem to think Eve is after something, something more than the bowels of Hell or the whole of Earth. Possibly something even greater than the Throne of Heaven, though neither Crowley nor Balthazar can pinpoint exactly what.
The angel and the demon take turns touching the Sealed Door, as Dean has started to call it. Apparently, it was locked by a powerful demon and an archangel thousands of years ago, effectively hiding the Forbidden Place Crowley and Balthazar keep talking about. And, if the rumors are true, this Forbidden Place also hides Purgatory within its folds. It takes the power of both an angel and a demon to unlock it but since Balthazar isn’t an archangel and Crowley, despite ruling all of Hell and apparently holding the same status as Alistair (Dean shudders to think about that), isn’t as powerful as the demon who had sealed the door had been, it’s taking a really, really long time.
Somewhere along the line Crowley let it slip that they are standing in an area of the Between that is close enough to Hell to emulate its appearance, and Dean is seriously disturbed by this but he doesn’t exactly know why. Probably because he never remembered Hell as some weird building with creepy-ass red lights illuminating all the halls. Dean and Sam really have nothing to do right now, so they spend time pacing the hallway they’re in at the moment and glaring at Balthazar and Crowley in silent demand that they hurry the hell up. Well. Dean glares. Sam mostly just waits in mild impatience more because he doesn’t like their current travel-buddies than because he doesn’t understand why they haven’t opened the damn door yet. Sam is far more understanding about the situation than Dean. Nothing really new about that.
Dean pauses in his latest circuit down the hall and back and turns as he hears something like crackling static behind him. Balthazar makes a small triumphant aha, and steps aside to let Crowley join his side as both angel and demon lean their whole weight into the door and push.
The double-doors groan, and fold like crumpling paper beneath the combined power shoving into them. Then they fall inwards, the locks and chains all snapping as if they’d been cut through. In the stead of the doors, there is a thick gray haze. Mist rolls into the hall from the Beyond, and something seems to slacken in the shoulders of Balthazar and Crowley as they both stand back.
"It’s opened," Crowley murmurs. "And your way is cleared. This is as far as I go."
"Agreed," Balthazar returns before Dean can say anything. Dean starts forward, but Crowley has already vanished before he can even blink.
"Dude!" Dean stares at Balthazar accusingly. "What the hell?!"
"You can’t kill him yet," Balthazar replies. "We still need him."
"We do?" Sam asks incredulously, also looking peeved.
Balthazar rolls his eyes, and ignores the humans. "Follow me. Stay close. For the love of Daddy, don’t die. Cassy will kill me if either of you does. Then he’ll bring you back, but the point remains that I’ll be dead and that is depressing." He turns back toward the violet-gray mists, and ducks inside the doorway. Dean growls a curse, and shoots a look at Sam.
"Yeah," Sam sighs. "I know. We’ll kill them both later, all right? Let’s go get Cas."
Dean can, at least, get behind that part of this fucking day.
~
The mist thickens to a fog when they follow Balthazar from the red hallway. The space widens, as well, broadening from a tunnel to a cavern then opening up so that they no longer seem to be inside a building but outside in the dark. The haze around them emits a lurid indigo-colored glow, and it seems to be the only source of light that this place offers aside from, strangely enough, Balthazar. Dean notices it almost as soon as his eyes adjust to the darker level of light here-Balthazar glows only slightly, casting what appears to be a pink glow. Yeah. The freaking angel is glowing pink.
Dean shifts closer to his brother, trusting Sam to have his back and to save him if Balthazar decides to get frisky. He does not want a pink-glowing angel near him. Ever.
They pass what looks like a mummified black tree, and Dean feels like he suddenly stepped into a Tim Burton film. The floor gradually fades away and becomes hard-crusted earth beneath his boots. The world around them starts to shift, giving Dean a creepy feeling like they’re inside a living being rather than in the Between that Balthazar had described for the Winchesters earlier.
Man, Dean thinks, Cas is probably miserable here.
Dean remembers when Castiel was Falling, before Sam conquered the Devil and stuffed him and Michael into the Cage. Anytime Castiel didn’t have a clear view of the sky, he would be bitchier than Sam on his finest bitch-days. Dean had soon discovered that Castiel still felt connected to Heaven if he could see it.
Dean had given some serious thought to painting the ceiling of the Impala and every other building they ever entered regularly (A.K.A. Bobby’s) with a mural of clouds and clear blue skies.
This is hardly the time for it, but Dean can’t help but consider how hard Cas has been fighting. He can’t help but think about the reason why Cas is still fighting the Good Fight while he and Sam have been left with the considerably calmer task of handling the Mother of All. Frankly, Dean doesn’t know what the Mother is after. She seems to have been very quiet, save the creepy herpe-thing threatening them through Bobby’s body. Dean thinks this is probably easy compared to what Castiel is doing, taking on the whole of Heaven to keep mankind safe awhile longer.
To keep Dean and his family safe awhile longer.
Dean sighs, and glances around again. He avoids looking at Balthazar’s Pepto-looking self and instead looks at the fog around them. It curls in wisps and tufts, nearly thick as a cloud. The scenery here is boring. And kinda gay. Really gay if he counts Balthazar as scenery. Dean shrugs one shoulder, lets it slide without comment. Not like he has so much room to talk, anyway, when all he’s been able to think about for the last couple weeks is azure eyes.
It takes what feels like another hour of walking in stiff silence, Sam just as tense as he is, before Dean finally loses his patience. "Hey, Captain Jack," he calls to Balthazar. "We getting any closer to wherever we’re going?"
Sam snorts, and echoes under his breath, "Captain Jack? You watch that show?"
"No, bitch, I have to listen to you watching that show," Dean snarks back and kicks his brother lightly with the side of his boot.
Ahead of them, Balthazar is shaking his head in what could be amusement or disdain. "We’re nearly there," he says in response to Dean’s question. "If you focus, you should be able to make out the outline of the citadel ahead."
"Citadel?" Sam and Dean question together. Dean squints and tries to force his eyes to cut through the masses of fog before them. Sure enough, he thinks he can make out the vague shadowy silhouette of what could be a building. He frowns at the odd shape, something like a spike in the distance. It looks nothing like what he imagines a citadel should look like.
"That’s where we’ll find Cas?" Sam asks doubtfully. Good job, Sammy, Dean thinks ‘cause, yeah, that place is frigging weird-looking.
Balthazar doesn’t bother responding. Something flickers behind his back, fading in then out in a sparkling wave, and Dean finds himself staring at the area closely. Was that his wings? And that brings another question to Dean’s mind. "Can’t you just zap us there or something?
Balthzar lets his head fall back, and sighs deeply. "No," he responds, teeth gritted over the word. "My wings won’t carry all of us, not here."
"Just asking," Dean grumbles. Then he adds for good measure, "Dick."
Balthazar starts speaking in Enochian, one hand moving in a plaintive manner that suggests he’s complaining to his Father about having to work alongside a lesser being in order to save his brother. Dean ignores him, and rolls his eyes at Sam who chuckles quietly. They continues to sluice their way through the thick and dark. Dean prays to Cas, Keep holding on, dude. We’re almost there.
~
The citadel pops up so quickly Dean doesn’t actually realize they’ve arrived until he nearly bumps into Balthazar’s back and suddenly they’re all three standing in the shadow of the tall black spire. Dean gapes at the single tower as it goes up and up, reaching far beyond the range of his sight through the thickness of the fog above them.
Holy shit.
Balthazar chuckles, and Dean realizes he spoke out loud as the angel says, "Want to stare at the phallic-shaped object all night, closet-case? Or should we go ahead in and introduce ourselves?"
Fortunately Sam is also catching himself and blushing, so Dean can go ahead and assume that Balthazar had been talking to his brother. Saves Dean the time of needing to kill Balthazar then and there for being a massive fucking asshole. He glares at the angel anyway, and Balthazar shakes his head and steps up to the tower. Dean notices the huge arched door there a moment before Balthazar sweeps out a foot and effectively kicks the door down. Obviously the angel isn’t going for the element of surprise.
"We’re in the middle of the Forbidden Place," the angel explains to the questioning looks he receives from the Winchesters. "There’s no one here that I can’t kill that we’d be surprising."
"That include Eve?" Dean asks thoughtfully. It might really piss him off if he finds out that the angels could have killed the Mother of Freaking Everything all along.
The muscle in Balthazar’s jaw twitches. "Eve will be busy with Castiel," he says quietly. And now Dean is the massive asshole. They enter the door, and are suddenly standing in a fucked-up multi-level Beautiful Room.
Dean stares at the white marble floors and the statues and paintings of angels and demons for a split second. "Fuck my life!"
~
Black. Black. Black. Black.
It is dark here. Not even the glow of his wings burning bright exists. Black, black, black.
He has been swallowed by the supernova. He has been tossed away into the Pit.
His wings are scarred with fire.
A voice. "Are you awake again?"
Mother.
"Yes. I am your mother, little one. Wake up, now. We have much to do."
Black. Wake up. No."Yes, little one-it is all right. Wake."
Black, black, black, then-
ToobrighttoobrighttheangelstoobrightitburnsitburnsitburnsstopitnowMotherstopitnowpleaseburnburnburnburnburn-Soft. A light touching his face, his eyes, shielding him. Mother.
"Don’t fear. I will not let you suffer as He did. I will never let you suffer again."Soft, warm, loving, tender. Not black, not black but the color of springtime.
Mother. Mother will protect him, now. It is all right to rest and breathe.
He feels as though he’s forgetting something. Something like gold and jewels, the spiced heat of the desert, and the light of the sun.
He cannot remember what it is. It saddens him to have forgotten.
He curls in the soft light of his mother’s love. He will not leave her.
Author: Aerilex
Fandom: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Friendship/Pre-slash
Rating: PG
Characters: Dean, Crowley, Balthazar, Castiel, Sam, Bobby, Eve
Word Count: ~4,150
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you know here.
Warnings: AU from 6x15, but expect highlights from several episodes after
Summary: Dean finally gets to go look for Cas.
A/N: Another awkward chapter break, I apologize beforehand. This one's a lot longer than usual though! Enjoy! :)
Chapter Nine
There are three things a furious Dean Winchester should not have to deal with when he is at this level of fury. The initial is disappearing angels who haven’t answered a single goddamn question Dean has asked about Castiel. The second is a pain-in-the-ass little brother who wears puppy dog eyes and for some reason manages to learn Jedi mind powers whenever he freaking feels like it.
This is why Dean is currently sitting and glowering at the spot where Balthazar had last stood instead of pacing the floor plotting ways to slowly murder the bastard. Sam with his stupid brain and his stupid logic had stupidly said something like we can’t do anything until he gets back and it might only make getting to Cas harder if Balthazar has to come looking for us on top of everything else.
Stupid. This whole fucking thing. Just so fucking stupid.
Which leads to the third thing that a furious Dean Winchester shouldn’t have to deal with, which is waiting as patiently as he possibly fucking can only to be interrupted from his waiting and brooding and being generally pissed off by the arrival of an all-too-smug, apparently-not-as-dead-as-they-thought motherfucking King of the Crossroads. Erm, King of Hell. Whatever.
Dean is on his feet, the Colt that had been tap-tap-tapping against his thigh pointed at the demon before Crowley could even fully manifest, his customary tumbler of scotch pressed to his lips and one dark brow arched in amusement. Crowley’s eyes stared down the length of the barrel pointed at his nose, and he tipped the glass from his mouth to say with a smirk, "Good reflexes, Winchester. Did you miss me?"
Dean doesn’t even have the time to fully form the furious what the fuck on his lips before he is suddenly ass-planted into the couch, the Colt clattering to the floor by his feet as Balthazar takes up the space the hunter had just occupied. Balthazar fixes a look on the hunter and directs Dean to, "Sit, stay." Balthazar turns to Crowley then, and rolls his shoulders as though shrugging off a coat. Dean opens his mouth to speak and Balthazar flicks a wrist. "And be still. Mum and Dad need to chit-chat." The words Dean intends to deliver, a well-earned fuck off, escape in the form of a choked-off gasp. The hunter starts aiming all kinds of mental swearing at the back of Balthazar’s head when he realizes his voice has been muted.
"So," Balthazar says, focusing again on Crowley. "Where can I break into the area we discussed?"
"You can’t," Crowley supplies, quirking a brow. Balthazar frowns. With a sigh, Crowley explained, "At least not without a guide, and knowing our history, I assume you’ll want me to be doing that."
History? Dean thinks loudly. What freakin’ history is this dick talking about?
As curious as he is, he leans forward to eagerly listen to what Crowley is saying now. "It isn’t Hell’s territory we’re breaking into, though. You should remember that."
"Of course, love," Balthazar leers. Dean may be sick. The angel looks over his shoulder, eyebrows up as he meets Dean’s gaze. "If that’s all, I need to get the kids bundled up. Poor Dean may burst if he doesn’t get the chance to yell at me soon."
Fuck you, Dean says through his glare. Balthazar smiles at him sweetly, and blows a kiss. Dean rolls his eyes.
Crowley looks unimpressed, quirks a brow at them. "I’ll meet you at the usual place," he says to Balthazar then blinks out of sight.
Dean has about three seconds to wonder what the hell that was all about, then his throat tingles and when he coughs experimentally he is relieved to have his voice back. He’s on his feet almost instantly, crowding into Balthazar’s space with his finger very nearly jabbing the angel’s throat. "You’re gonna tell me what the hell’s going on, or I’m gonna find the most excruciating way possible to kill you."
Balthazar gives him a bland look. "Winchester, you have no idea how to make an angel hurt. And unfortunately for you, I don’t give a damn about hurting you back." He intercedes whatever Dean means to say, laying a hand upon Dean’s shoulder as though to hold him in place. "Look, Winchester, I don’t have the time to hold your little hand and tell you it’s all going to be okay. Crowley’s still alive. We can’t kill him. Now you know. The more important thing for you to hold in your puny little mind is that Cassy is in mortal peril and if you and the moose-boy are going with me to save him, you need to be ready yesterday."
He pushes Dean back, and Dean stumbles once but already has it fixed in his mind that Cas is in serious shit and we’re going to get him now, oh my God finally. "Sammy! Bobby!" he calls on his way out of the house and to the Impala to gather together supplies he knows he might need. He takes Ruby’s knife, the Colt, some steel and salt rounds along with his sawed-off, a .45 just in case. He puts together some of Sam’s stuff, too, and grabs some holy oil and holy water for the road. Sam and Bobby are already in the living room with Balthazar, who seems to be taking the time to tell them about the rescue mission.
Bobby exchanges a short glance with Dean as the younger hunter joins them. "Sounds like we may need the panic room," he says gruffly. "I’ll stay here and get everything ready." Ward against everything on God’s green Earth and beyond, is what Dean hears and he nods in agreement. Whatever crap Cas is in right now, they’re going to need to be prepared. Dean is still itching to get some answers about Crowley, but for the moment Cas is at the top of his priorities list. He can kick the angels’ asses and demand to know what’s actually going on with that when he gets Cas back, safe and sound.
He tosses Sam his duffel, and turns to Balthazar with an expectant look. Balthazar smiles charmingly, but it looks too forced to be real. "You boys ready to go?" Neither Dean nor Sam responds before Balthazar claps his hands together then reaches for each of their shoulders. And then the world is spinning around them and Dean almost forgets to bend his knees to compensate for the feeling of having the floor ripped out from underneath him as they move through space.
~
He is the sun. He is burning, bright white flames consuming all of him.
Gray, red, gray, red, green, red, gray.
He is shadow, dark and clinging to the stillness of quiet.
Lash, lash, lash goes the whip against this body’s strange new flesh. Pain echoes, but never reaches him. He is beyond this.
His wings were white once, white like pearls. They are burning, burning, destroyed and ash-gray and coal-black and blue like blooming bruises. Burning.
Gray, black, blue, white, green, gray, red.
"Just let go now, little one," she coos to him, voice like velvet drawn across steel.
He ignores her. Nothing exists. Everything is over. He fades away, away, away to the fire.
He fades away, clinging still to that image of green.
He is the sun.
~
Sam looks the same way Dean feels when Crowley is waiting for them after they land. When he shoots Dean a questioning look, Dean shrugs and shakes his head. We’ll deal with it later. Sam doesn’t look very happy about it, but he nods quietly and takes a long look around.
The area is unfamiliar. It looks like the bowels of a hospital building, all white walls and floors stained red by the faintly-glowing lights overhead. They enter the hall inside a shadowy doorway, Balthazar already bursting into movement toward the demon awaiting them. Crowley smiles and tips his glass in greeting toward the Winchesters as he joins Balthazar in his walk toward another door on the far end of the hall. Unlike the open portal they entered through, Dean sees that the double doors opposite it are shut up tight. Old, rusting chains are wound between the push bars of the doors, and there seems to be some sort of bar lock overtop that. The door trembles as if in anticipation the closer the demon and the angel come to it.
Dean glances at Sam. "This is all kinds of shady. Where are we?"
"Uh, I’m not sure..." Sam looks around once, and tenses. "But I don’t really like it. Feels..." He struggles for a moment, and when Dean raises an eyebrow, finally finishes, "...odd."
Dean rolls his shoulders in agreement, and hefts his duffel up onto his shoulder while keeping his other hand on his shotgun as he and Sam cross the hall to join Balthazar and Crowley. The angel is inspecting the sealed-off door closely, fingertips brushing over his chin. Crowley has one hand pressed against the surface of the door as though to hold it against whatever force continues to shake the door in little jolts, like something is trying to escape it.
"Okay, I’ll bite," Dean says at last, joining the Fairly Odd Couple at the weird door. "The hell is this?" He gestures with the shotgun in the direction of the door. Crowley releases an impatient sigh, as though simply sharing the same space as Dean is causing him a migraine.
"It’s a doorway into the Forbidden Place," Balthazar explains, marginally more patient than his demonic partner. "The parts of Limbo that are beyond Heaven and Hell."
"You usually need a guide to get very far in," Crowley continues in the angel’s stead. "There are rumors that Purgatory is hidden there."
"So of course you would know about it," Sam surmises with a roll of his eyes. Dean smirks at him. He’s kind of glad he’s got Sam with him. He isn’t sure how he would cope with both Balthazar and Crowley otherwise. A quiet part of Dean is already plotting ways to kill Crowley as soon as he can. He fingers the trigger of the shotgun, wondering how he can subtly reach for the Colt and when. For the most part, though, he is willing to prioritize.
"Is anyone gonna fill us in on what’s really going on?" Dean demands gruffly, staring at the angel and the demon staring at the door. "I mean, we know about Cas being a candidate to turn into the Phoenix or whatever, but what do you two know that’s got you all riled up?"
Balthazar pauses, glances aside to Crowley. Crowley only looks all the more amused by the whole situation. Dean foregoes his plan to kill Crowley with the Colt and wonders if he can punch a demon to death. The pregnant pause lasts a moment longer than Dean can stand, and he throws up his hands in exasperation. "Well?"
Balthazar grunts a sigh. "So there’s something you darling boys don’t know about the Arisen," he lilts in that strange, too-pleasant tone. Dean raises both brows, nodding encouragement. "If the Arisen and transmuted into a Phoenix, they don’t simply have the power to destroy the All-Mother." Dean checks Sam, who furrows his brow in puzzlement. Dean’s right there with him, so he refocuses on Balthazar to await whatever the angel is going to say. Balthazar takes in a deep breath and releases it slowly. "If the Arisen is transmuted and becomes the Phoenix, the Arisen becomes a very powerful being. But they are under the control of whomsoever performs the rite to transmute them. They become the most dangerous weapon to all the Powers-Heaven’s Champion, Hell’s Warden, Purgatory’s Keeper, the Mortals’ Sentry, and Death’s Overseer."
"Okay?" Dean says dubiously.
Crowley huffs impatiently again. "Have you got any brains in the space between your ears, boy?" he demands as he spins to face the Winchesters. "Your boyfriend is in the area where Purgatory may rest, and he is most likely being used to turn into a weapon to take over the free world." He gives a pointed look at Dean, who stares blankly back. Crowley rolls his eyes Heavenward briefly, then glares at Dean. "He’s been kidnapped by Eve, you moron!"
The world falls out from under Dean again.
~
Eve has Castiel. Now that someone finally told him, it makes perfect sense. Balthazar and Crowley both seem to think Eve is after something, something more than the bowels of Hell or the whole of Earth. Possibly something even greater than the Throne of Heaven, though neither Crowley nor Balthazar can pinpoint exactly what.
The angel and the demon take turns touching the Sealed Door, as Dean has started to call it. Apparently, it was locked by a powerful demon and an archangel thousands of years ago, effectively hiding the Forbidden Place Crowley and Balthazar keep talking about. And, if the rumors are true, this Forbidden Place also hides Purgatory within its folds. It takes the power of both an angel and a demon to unlock it but since Balthazar isn’t an archangel and Crowley, despite ruling all of Hell and apparently holding the same status as Alistair (Dean shudders to think about that), isn’t as powerful as the demon who had sealed the door had been, it’s taking a really, really long time.
Somewhere along the line Crowley let it slip that they are standing in an area of the Between that is close enough to Hell to emulate its appearance, and Dean is seriously disturbed by this but he doesn’t exactly know why. Probably because he never remembered Hell as some weird building with creepy-ass red lights illuminating all the halls. Dean and Sam really have nothing to do right now, so they spend time pacing the hallway they’re in at the moment and glaring at Balthazar and Crowley in silent demand that they hurry the hell up. Well. Dean glares. Sam mostly just waits in mild impatience more because he doesn’t like their current travel-buddies than because he doesn’t understand why they haven’t opened the damn door yet. Sam is far more understanding about the situation than Dean. Nothing really new about that.
Dean pauses in his latest circuit down the hall and back and turns as he hears something like crackling static behind him. Balthazar makes a small triumphant aha, and steps aside to let Crowley join his side as both angel and demon lean their whole weight into the door and push.
The double-doors groan, and fold like crumpling paper beneath the combined power shoving into them. Then they fall inwards, the locks and chains all snapping as if they’d been cut through. In the stead of the doors, there is a thick gray haze. Mist rolls into the hall from the Beyond, and something seems to slacken in the shoulders of Balthazar and Crowley as they both stand back.
"It’s opened," Crowley murmurs. "And your way is cleared. This is as far as I go."
"Agreed," Balthazar returns before Dean can say anything. Dean starts forward, but Crowley has already vanished before he can even blink.
"Dude!" Dean stares at Balthazar accusingly. "What the hell?!"
"You can’t kill him yet," Balthazar replies. "We still need him."
"We do?" Sam asks incredulously, also looking peeved.
Balthazar rolls his eyes, and ignores the humans. "Follow me. Stay close. For the love of Daddy, don’t die. Cassy will kill me if either of you does. Then he’ll bring you back, but the point remains that I’ll be dead and that is depressing." He turns back toward the violet-gray mists, and ducks inside the doorway. Dean growls a curse, and shoots a look at Sam.
"Yeah," Sam sighs. "I know. We’ll kill them both later, all right? Let’s go get Cas."
Dean can, at least, get behind that part of this fucking day.
~
The mist thickens to a fog when they follow Balthazar from the red hallway. The space widens, as well, broadening from a tunnel to a cavern then opening up so that they no longer seem to be inside a building but outside in the dark. The haze around them emits a lurid indigo-colored glow, and it seems to be the only source of light that this place offers aside from, strangely enough, Balthazar. Dean notices it almost as soon as his eyes adjust to the darker level of light here-Balthazar glows only slightly, casting what appears to be a pink glow. Yeah. The freaking angel is glowing pink.
Dean shifts closer to his brother, trusting Sam to have his back and to save him if Balthazar decides to get frisky. He does not want a pink-glowing angel near him. Ever.
They pass what looks like a mummified black tree, and Dean feels like he suddenly stepped into a Tim Burton film. The floor gradually fades away and becomes hard-crusted earth beneath his boots. The world around them starts to shift, giving Dean a creepy feeling like they’re inside a living being rather than in the Between that Balthazar had described for the Winchesters earlier.
Man, Dean thinks, Cas is probably miserable here.
Dean remembers when Castiel was Falling, before Sam conquered the Devil and stuffed him and Michael into the Cage. Anytime Castiel didn’t have a clear view of the sky, he would be bitchier than Sam on his finest bitch-days. Dean had soon discovered that Castiel still felt connected to Heaven if he could see it.
Dean had given some serious thought to painting the ceiling of the Impala and every other building they ever entered regularly (A.K.A. Bobby’s) with a mural of clouds and clear blue skies.
This is hardly the time for it, but Dean can’t help but consider how hard Cas has been fighting. He can’t help but think about the reason why Cas is still fighting the Good Fight while he and Sam have been left with the considerably calmer task of handling the Mother of All. Frankly, Dean doesn’t know what the Mother is after. She seems to have been very quiet, save the creepy herpe-thing threatening them through Bobby’s body. Dean thinks this is probably easy compared to what Castiel is doing, taking on the whole of Heaven to keep mankind safe awhile longer.
To keep Dean and his family safe awhile longer.
Dean sighs, and glances around again. He avoids looking at Balthazar’s Pepto-looking self and instead looks at the fog around them. It curls in wisps and tufts, nearly thick as a cloud. The scenery here is boring. And kinda gay. Really gay if he counts Balthazar as scenery. Dean shrugs one shoulder, lets it slide without comment. Not like he has so much room to talk, anyway, when all he’s been able to think about for the last couple weeks is azure eyes.
It takes what feels like another hour of walking in stiff silence, Sam just as tense as he is, before Dean finally loses his patience. "Hey, Captain Jack," he calls to Balthazar. "We getting any closer to wherever we’re going?"
Sam snorts, and echoes under his breath, "Captain Jack? You watch that show?"
"No, bitch, I have to listen to you watching that show," Dean snarks back and kicks his brother lightly with the side of his boot.
Ahead of them, Balthazar is shaking his head in what could be amusement or disdain. "We’re nearly there," he says in response to Dean’s question. "If you focus, you should be able to make out the outline of the citadel ahead."
"Citadel?" Sam and Dean question together. Dean squints and tries to force his eyes to cut through the masses of fog before them. Sure enough, he thinks he can make out the vague shadowy silhouette of what could be a building. He frowns at the odd shape, something like a spike in the distance. It looks nothing like what he imagines a citadel should look like.
"That’s where we’ll find Cas?" Sam asks doubtfully. Good job, Sammy, Dean thinks ‘cause, yeah, that place is frigging weird-looking.
Balthazar doesn’t bother responding. Something flickers behind his back, fading in then out in a sparkling wave, and Dean finds himself staring at the area closely. Was that his wings? And that brings another question to Dean’s mind. "Can’t you just zap us there or something?
Balthzar lets his head fall back, and sighs deeply. "No," he responds, teeth gritted over the word. "My wings won’t carry all of us, not here."
"Just asking," Dean grumbles. Then he adds for good measure, "Dick."
Balthazar starts speaking in Enochian, one hand moving in a plaintive manner that suggests he’s complaining to his Father about having to work alongside a lesser being in order to save his brother. Dean ignores him, and rolls his eyes at Sam who chuckles quietly. They continues to sluice their way through the thick and dark. Dean prays to Cas, Keep holding on, dude. We’re almost there.
~
The citadel pops up so quickly Dean doesn’t actually realize they’ve arrived until he nearly bumps into Balthazar’s back and suddenly they’re all three standing in the shadow of the tall black spire. Dean gapes at the single tower as it goes up and up, reaching far beyond the range of his sight through the thickness of the fog above them.
Holy shit.
Balthazar chuckles, and Dean realizes he spoke out loud as the angel says, "Want to stare at the phallic-shaped object all night, closet-case? Or should we go ahead in and introduce ourselves?"
Fortunately Sam is also catching himself and blushing, so Dean can go ahead and assume that Balthazar had been talking to his brother. Saves Dean the time of needing to kill Balthazar then and there for being a massive fucking asshole. He glares at the angel anyway, and Balthazar shakes his head and steps up to the tower. Dean notices the huge arched door there a moment before Balthazar sweeps out a foot and effectively kicks the door down. Obviously the angel isn’t going for the element of surprise.
"We’re in the middle of the Forbidden Place," the angel explains to the questioning looks he receives from the Winchesters. "There’s no one here that I can’t kill that we’d be surprising."
"That include Eve?" Dean asks thoughtfully. It might really piss him off if he finds out that the angels could have killed the Mother of Freaking Everything all along.
The muscle in Balthazar’s jaw twitches. "Eve will be busy with Castiel," he says quietly. And now Dean is the massive asshole. They enter the door, and are suddenly standing in a fucked-up multi-level Beautiful Room.
Dean stares at the white marble floors and the statues and paintings of angels and demons for a split second. "Fuck my life!"
~
Black. Black. Black. Black.
It is dark here. Not even the glow of his wings burning bright exists. Black, black, black.
He has been swallowed by the supernova. He has been tossed away into the Pit.
His wings are scarred with fire.
A voice. "Are you awake again?"
Mother.
"Yes. I am your mother, little one. Wake up, now. We have much to do."
Black. Wake up. No."Yes, little one-it is all right. Wake."
Black, black, black, then-
ToobrighttoobrighttheangelstoobrightitburnsitburnsitburnsstopitnowMotherstopitnowpleaseburnburnburnburnburn-Soft. A light touching his face, his eyes, shielding him. Mother.
"Don’t fear. I will not let you suffer as He did. I will never let you suffer again."Soft, warm, loving, tender. Not black, not black but the color of springtime.
Mother. Mother will protect him, now. It is all right to rest and breathe.
He feels as though he’s forgetting something. Something like gold and jewels, the spiced heat of the desert, and the light of the sun.
He cannot remember what it is. It saddens him to have forgotten.
He curls in the soft light of his mother’s love. He will not leave her.