In Another Life (3/3)
Title: In Another Life (3/3)
Author: Aeon Cole
Rating: FRAO
Genre: Angst. Romance
Warnings: Slash
Fandom: CSI: Miami
Pairings: Horatio/Stetler, Horatio/Speed
Challenge: 12 stories
Table: 8 Misc B
Prompts: #12 Loss
Word Count: 1380
Summary: Rick had many regrets and in another life maybe things could have been different.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author’s Note: This bunny was given to me by D.R. Millennium. I’ve always wanted to write a Rick Stetler story so thanks a bunch for putting this into my head.
Previous Chapters: Here
May 13, 1988
Rick stood at the front entrance of Horatio’s apartment building. The sky was overcast and gray as a spring storm threatened the city. It seemed fitting, he thought. He walked inside and took the old elevator to the fifth floor then slowly made his way down the hall. He wasn’t sure how he would be received but he had to try. The look on Horatio’s face when he’d seen him last, when he’d walked into Rick’s apartment and found him in bed with Claire, was enough to rip his heart from his chest. He knew he’d fuck up, badly.
He reached the apartment and raised his hand to knock on the door but he hesitated. He had no idea what he was going to say. He sighed and knocked anyway. A moment later a voice called from inside, “Go away.”
Rick’s head fell. “Horatio please, let me explain.”
He heard footsteps approach the door then, “There’s nothing to explain. Go away.”
Rick put his hand up against the door. He knew Horatio was leaning up against the other side. “Horatio please. I’d had a bad day. I needed…”
“You needed her,” Horatio said accusingly through the door. “You ran to her instead of me?”
“No,” Rick pleaded. “I ran to the bar. I started drinking. The rest just sort of happened.”
Rick heard the latch being lifted off of the door and saw the handle turn. For a second he thought he’d gotten through. But when he tried to walk into the apartment Horatio placed a hand on his chest and stopped him. The look on his face told Rick everything.
“No,” Horatio said firmly. “I just need to say this to your face. I thought I could trust you. I thought you loved me. I was wrong.” He paused for a moment and took a shaky breath. “This whole thing was a mistake. I never should have…” He stopped as his voice failed him and a single tear broke free rolling down his cheek. Rick raised a hand to wipe it away but Horatio blocked him. “Don’t,” he said. “Just go.” Then Horatio closed and bolted the door leaving Rick standing there.
He rested his forehead against the door for a moment and whispered, “I’m sorry.” Then he walked out of the building and into the rainstorm. He was soaked to the bone within a minute but at least the rain hid his tears.
ooo
Present Day
Rick watched as Speed sunk the last ball. He smirked knowing that Horatio had let him win. Speed walked up to his lover then glanced over at Rick.
“You two have things to work out. And I think it’s time you did just that,” he said.
Horatio sighed and looked back at Rick, catching his eye. Rick looked momentarily surprised then he shook his head remembering what Horatio had said to him a long time ago. “I always know you’re there.” Apparently some things never change. He momentarily wondered if he’d ever fooled the redhead any of the times he thought he’d been hiding and watching him play. He got up from the bar and made his way over to the table.
“Horatio,” he said.
“Rick,” Horatio replied.
Speed glanced between the two men then said, “I’ll leave you two alone.” Then he turned his attention to Horatio and said, “See you at home.” He gave him a quick kiss then grabbed his helmet and walked out of the bar.
Rick walked over and grabbed a cue then glanced back at Horatio who racked up the balls. Rick raised an eyebrow and said, “Usual stakes,” half joking. Loser tops had become their usual stakes in that other life.
Horatio smiled and ducked his head. “No bet. Just play,” he said. “You break.”
Rick chalked his cue and lined up his shot. He struck the cue ball solidly and scattered the balls on the table sinking two of them. He called stripes and lined up his next shot. The ball ricocheted off the side of the table but missed the pocket. Horatio took control of the table.
He glanced at Rick. “You’re out of practice,” he said.
Rick shrugged. “I don’t get to play that often anymore.” He watched Horatio line up and sink his first shot. “Let me ask you something, Horatio. Why’d you let Speedle win?”
Horatio shrugged. “It was my turn to buy dinner.”
“Was that the bet?” Rick asked. Horatio nodded and took his second shot. He hit a little too hard and the ball bounced off the pocket. “You’re not concentrating,” Rick said.
They played back and forth, neither really playing their best game. In the end Rick won but he had the feeling Horatio had let him. “Shoulda taken that bet,” he joked. Horatio chuckled as Rick racked up again. “Loser breaks,” he said.
Horatio took his place and broke the rack. One ball sunk and he took his second shot, sunk it and went for his third. He took his time examining all of the angles. The balls had landed in a particularly difficult configuration and he pursed his lips.
“Can’t find a shot?” Rick asked.
Horatio shook his head. Rick walked over to him. He eyed the table from Horatio’s angle and, seeing something that looked likely, he stepped up behind the redhead, close enough that their bodies were touching. He leaned over Horatio’s shoulder and took his cue, laying his hand over Horatio’s.
“Here, try this,” he said and moved the cue into position.
Horatio didn’t move. Rick glanced at his face and noticed that he was standing with his eyes shut and his mouth slightly open. Rick stared at him for a long moment before he brought his other hand up and rested it on Horatio’s shoulder. Horatio couldn’t deny that being in such close proximity to Rick, in these particular circumstances, was having an effect on him. They never got into each other’s personal space, not any more. He drew in a shaky breath.
“I, um…”
Horatio was having trouble getting his brain to work and he couldn’t find his voice. His mind kept drifting back to that other life. Rick put a little pressure on his shoulder urging him to turn around. They were standing very close now and Rick had both his hands on Horatio’s shoulders. Acting completely on impulse he leaned in and brushed his lips over Horatio’s. In that split second Horatio was back at Jake’s bar in New York. He was back in that other life. He leaned in and met Rick deepening the kiss. But his fantasy only lasted for a moment before he pulled away looking a bit shocked.
“I’m sorry,” Rick said quickly. “I shouldn’t have…”
“I’m getting married,” Horatio interrupted.
“Excuse me.”
“Tim and I are, um… next month. We’re getting married.”
Rick tried not to look like he’d just been kicked in the chest. “That’s… um… that’s great Horatio. I’m happy for you.” He turned and took a couple of steps away.
Horatio took a moment to compose himself. “Look, Rick, this wasn’t how I meant to tell you.”
“No, it’s okay,” Rick said without turning around. “I mean… it was over a long time ago. Why shouldn’t you be happy?”
Horatio sighed. He walked over and placed his hand on his former lover’s arm. He stood there a moment before saying, “I should get going. Tim’s waiting for me.”
Rick nodded. “Yeah, I suppose so,” he said still not meeting Horatio’s eyes.
“I’ll, ah, see you at the lab,” Horatio said. Rick nodded and Horatio turned to leave. It was time he went home and finally told Speed the whole story.
Rick quickly turned in his direction. “I’m sorry,” he said. Horatio turned back slightly puzzled. “For what happened with Claire. I’m sorry. I don’t think I ever said that.”
Horatio nodded and as he walked out of the bar he said, “I know.”
Rick watched him walk out. He turned back to the pool table and racked the balls. He hadn’t played since that night fifteen years ago, until today. He just couldn’t bring himself to. He lined up his shot. Maybe in another life, he thought as he scattered the balls across the table.
Fin