the fragility of pesonhood

[aekiy]

Twice in the past week, friends of mine have discussed serious troubles with their mental wellbeing, most notably the sense of not being a real person.  As I said to one of them, I wish I didn't understand what they meant as well as I do.  Apart from small leakages of selfhood through all my damage, physical and psychological, I have not truly felt

Comments

[podisodd]

Dealing with chronic pain and health maladies wears away at the psyche. Some people say suffering strengthens the soul, but that always seemed like a slippery slope to me. You may find yourself feeling more like a person once your physical health stabilizes. If you do go on psychoactive medicine, be sure to get a full rundown of possible side effects. And for what it's worth, I don't always feel like a real person either; however, the causes are different in my case.

[aekiy]

Thanks. I certainly agree that, while surviving trials can strengthen one, this is hardly the rule, especially in a case where the troubles are ongoing. I'll definitely be cautious about medication, as I don't like the idea of taking it generally, especially given how fragile my brain is these days; but if there is something that can help me without causing terrible side effects, I'm at the point where I need something material for support

[kitten_goddess]

I'm so sorry you don't feel real. What can I do to help?

[aekiy]

I wish I knew. The last line of the entry was more in reference to receiving counseling and psychiatric care than asking other people to take care of me. (I tend to be rather fiercely independent, despite my needs and dependencies, and don't see myself as an object worthy of aid, so asking for help is awkward and painful for me.)

Really, I think casual social interaction is one of the things I need the most, apart from medical care and painkillers. I need to try and get out and see people more, but it's a lot of effort for me, and my car hasn't been doing well. (Hopefully that will be fixed by the end of the month, but we'll see how things go.) Thanks for the offer, though. It's just a tricky thing, and hopefully some health care will help me feel somewhat better, maybe enough to get out and see people more often. I think healthful human interaction is key to reducing my anxieties and internal conflicts.