Comments and Typo ReportlunarokiOctober 30 2009, 20:40:22 UTC
Disturbing! A little predictable, somewhat humorous, but nicely disturbing! This was a great Halloween short! Kinda like watching an episode of Tales From the Crypt. :)
Still got one pronoun/gender agreement problem left:
Not turning her head, she shot him a glare out of the corner of his eyes.
Quite a trick, being able to shoot him a glance out of the corner of his own eyes. Maybe she shot him a glance out of the corner of her eyes?
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Still got one pronoun/gender agreement problem left:
Not turning her head, she shot him a glare out of the corner of his eyes.
Quite a trick, being able to shoot him a glance out of the corner of his own eyes. Maybe she shot him a glance out of the corner of her eyes?
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