Re: Question
anonymous
February 19 2008, 21:50:59 UTC
Well my advise is that if you REALLY trust him and love him, then you should be with him because it's not easy to find someone who you love and trust, both at the same time... it's very possible but not easy to find. All the things you mentioned about ''sleeping together, the cats etc..'' are all things that i believe with time can be settled and worked out.. what's important is the most basic and most important part,which is love and trust, and as i mentioned, its not easy to find both at the same time!! I say you just give it some time and see what happends. If he feels the same love for you, then he eventually he will ways of not giving up his dreams, but at the same time find ways to be closer to you and spend more time with you, and that's what you want... That's what you need, so just keep an eye out to see if he does things to change for U!
Hi, i just want to say that ur advice is great.. but i really believe that if this guy really loves her, he will cahnge for her.. Yea he says he wont get married etc, but he already showed that he is capable of sacrificing for her, i mean he met her and instaed of going to see his family he decided tomov in with her.
You want marriage and permanence. He's deathly afraid of that kind of commitment.
You love your cat. He can't live with cats.
You both love sleep, but you can't sleep together.
His job requires a ton of travel, and you can't handle the separation.
Tell him you can't see how this can work out for the long term, and that he at least should consider renting an apartment instead of buying a condo. Otherwise he'll be taking a huge financial hit buying a place to be close to you, then trying to sell it again after it is clear that you can't maintain the relationship you need.
I'm sorry. What a miserable situation. I agree with you, I just don't see this turning out happily. I think you know very well how you are going to feel in 6 months: Kind of like this, but worse, because he'll be in Romania.
This guy sounds really self centered, and is that who you really want to spend your life with, much less your emotional energy for the next 6 months? Don't you want someone who wants the same things you do? Someone who loves to sleep with you, loves your cats, and really wants to be with you (even if it costs $500/mo--which is practically nothing; it is so NOT impressive that he whined about that)??
Why should he? You don't like that he wants *you* to change the way you want to live YOUR life, why should he be okay with you asking him to change his? It's just not a match, I think. I would break it off. It's not fair to either of you.
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ty for responding. even though breaking it off is the realistic thing to do, my heart isnt ready to give up.
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You love your cat. He can't live with cats.
You both love sleep, but you can't sleep together.
His job requires a ton of travel, and you can't handle the separation.
Tell him you can't see how this can work out for the long term, and that he at least should consider renting an apartment instead of buying a condo. Otherwise he'll be taking a huge financial hit buying a place to be close to you, then trying to sell it again after it is clear that you can't maintain the relationship you need.
g'luck
*daha*
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This guy sounds really self centered, and is that who you really want to spend your life with, much less your emotional energy for the next 6 months? Don't you want someone who wants the same things you do? Someone who loves to sleep with you, loves your cats, and really wants to be with you (even if it costs $500/mo--which is practically nothing; it is so NOT impressive that he whined about that)??
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Why should he? You don't like that he wants *you* to change the way you want to live YOUR life, why should he be okay with you asking him to change his? It's just not a match, I think. I would break it off. It's not fair to either of you.
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