Life’s a Witch and then you Die: Part I of ?
Title: Life’s a Witch and then you Die
Author: AdventureLucky7
Fandom: The Hollows
Pairing: Rachel/Ivy (Seriously I will get there, it’s just going to take a bit…)
Rating: Mature, for language so far
Disclaimer: The Hollows characters and universe belong to Kim Harrison, I am just borrowing them for the story. I may have borrowed a little Shakespeare too…
Summary: What happens when Rynn Cormel forces Rachel to find answers, and she discovers answers to questions she wasn’t even asking? Rachel/Ivy, Ivy/Rachel, Ravy
I am a dead witch.
Rynn Cormel is stupendously, outrageously, black eyes all the way kind of angry at me right now. You would think a species that has the ability to rise from the dead, and exist for centuries, would be able to drum up some patience when it comes to unknown frontiers of magic.
That would be a no.
It has been months since that night in the underground tunnels, my aura tattered and fragile. I nearly fried every neuron in my brain trying to funnel ley energy in that state, but when Ivy touched me her aura covered mine. As long as she held me I was protected, and I finished Kisten’s memorial for us both.
In Rynn’s defense he finds the whole episode very touching, or at least he pretends to, the whole not having a soul thing really kills the ability to empathize. The problem is that I haven’t really made any progress in the last 6 months. I have been avoiding discussing the situation entirely with Ivy, because that’s what I do with big emotional dilemmas. I avoid them until fate, or circumstances, force my hand and I am stuck making a gut decision. Planning and forethought are Ivy’s forte, that’s why the vamp has a color coded and alphabetized list for grocery shopping. Of course the one person light years ahead of me in the emotional dilemma avoidance category would be my roommate. Did I mention we haven’t discussed the night in the tunnels, at all?
It isn’t like I haven’t been trying to find the answer on my own either. After Ivy busted me out of the hospital, Rynn pulled the scary dead vamp routine on me to remind me of why he continued to protect my witchy butt. Since then I have spent every 24 hours in the ever after trying to get my hands on demon knowledge related to vampires. At times I hid vampire books in the tomb of some arcane spell books I was supposed to be perusing, and I felt like a 16 year old boy trying to hide a dirty magazine.
What I quickly discovered is that a.) Demon books don’t cover much about vampires b.) The extent of the details they cover could be found in a human dictionary. My theory is vampires cannot handle ley energy very well, hence demons haven’t been interested in them as familiars. No interest means no demon research.
This brings me back to the fact I am a dead witch, because Rynn Cormel is coming to dinner. Not a suck my blood, make me a shadow, kind of a dinner. More like polite death threats, disguised as protection reminders, over homemade pizza kind of dinner. If I am lucky we won’t tail spin into me freaking out and every vamp in my church pulling an aura.
My lungs expanded with a deep breath and I slowly began to thump my head against the kitchen counter as I let it out. Seriously, go ahead and erect my tombstone in the garden please. Tell the pixies I want dandelions, and I will them my desk as a permanent winter home.
I need a plan I thought as I headed to the garden, and I knew just the right Pixie sounding board.
"Jenks!" I called as I neared his stump, "Jenks, where are you? Rynn is coming to dinner tonight and I am already freaking out!"
Okay so great planning generally begins with freaking out…right?
"Tink's titties Rachel" Jenks said as he landed on my earring, "How in the turn did you manage to invite Ivy's Master Vamp to dinner?"
"Not my idea," as I tried to wipe the scowl off my face. I had sent Ivy off to grocery shop, and wasn't sure when she would return. The last thing I needed was an irate vampire who felt I had slighted her Master in some way, especially when she was crushing on him. I felt my scowl deepen, not that I was jealous. I just don't understand how you could crush someone who is devoid of any caring emotion. My mind flashed to page 73 of the vampire dating guide and I felt the tips of my ears start to burn.
"Did you talk to Al?" Jenks prompted.
"Al? I don't have any information to sell, and questions not related to my training have a cost." I said, praying he wasn't paying attention to my ears.
"What about the whole vamps eating people's aura thing?" he said bouncing on my earring, continuing, "That sounds like something that isn't common knowledge."
"Jenks, what happens when a demon uses that knowledge? That's going to be a pretty easy trace right back to me. I am steering away from pissing off the vampires." Besides, deep down in my gut that felt like a betrayal of Ivy's trust. She hadn't asked me to keep it a secret, but if it leaked to the world at large vampires would find themselves with a major PR problem.
"You know what the root of the problem is Jenks? I don't know enough about vampires. I mean, what does an aura look like when a vampire binds someone? Does it look different if the bound person is a living vamp versus a human? I have not a freaking clue." I began to pace across the garden. Jenks sat on my earring and started to hum a trivia game show theme song.
"The problem with not understanding vampires and auras is that I can't begin to separate what is going on with Ivy and me versus what's normal when a vampire takes blood" I thought aloud.
I continued to pace, "I have a few options. 1.) I ask Rynn and hope to Turn he has vampire books in his library that can help me. 2.) I continue to dig through the demon library and pray Al doesn't figure out what I am doing, or 3.)…" My eyes got big and I groaned, Ivy and Jenks were going to h-a-a-a-ate option 3. There is only other person with the kind of library I need, who has enough interest in vampires.
"What's option number 3?" Jenks asked as he buzzed off my earring. He took one look at my face and began to talk faster than if he was on a honey high, "NoNoNoNoNo, you are not going to Trent Kalamack! That man has always despised you and now, even worse, you scare the shit out of him! That is a badbadbadbadbad option Rache."
I watched the little pixie dart from side to side, obviously distressed, red pixie dust began to fly from his wings as he started to get angry. "Tink's slutty panties Rachel! Ivy is going to be angrier than a fairie with hemorrhoids."
Damn. I hate when Ivy gets worried, she gets this worry line on her forehead, and her instincts become even harder to control. I sighed, "Jenks, we are just brainstorming right now. There is always a chance Rynn will have what I need, I am just thinking ahead."
I cleared my throat as I sat down on an outdoor bench, "Just in case, what kind of bribery do you think we are talking to help break the news to Ivy?" Jenks landed on the back of the bench and tapped his chin as he thought.
"For the record Rache, this is a terrible, awful idea." He paused a moment and considered my question before he answered, "However, we are only talking hypothetical bribes because we are still brainstorming, right?" I nodded my affirmative.
Jenks continued, "Then we are talking at the very least some high quality baked goods, possibly cupcakes with homemade butter cream frosting, and definitely chocolate." I nodded, that I could do. Hell, I would throw in some of that double-chocolate monkey ice cream she is always eating.
Jenks put his hands on his hips in his Peter Pan pose, "And, you are going to have to let her organize your spices." At that I let out an overly dramatic groan for Jenk's amusement. Honestly though, I hate when Ivy organizes my spices. The vampire seems to have some sort of system that is neither alphabetical, nor by expiration date. I have a feeling it has to do with her vampire sense of smell, but I can't ever find anything I want. I weighed my options, and quickly decided hunting for herbs was a more than fair price to pay.
"Jenks," I warned, "don't say anything to Ivy until I know for sure. The truth is I may not have a choice, I have to able to separate out normal vamp behavior from mine and Ivy's relationship. If I can't do that I won't be able to figure out how to re-create it, and I know that's the key to saving her soul."
"Thank the turn above; you are finally admitting that you and Ivy are in a relationship!" Jenks began what I can only describe as a Pixie victory dance, complete with the cabbage patch.
My jaw dropped, "No! Ivy and I had this conversation. We have a platonic relationship. Dammit Pixie, I am a straight woman! I like men!"
Jenks buzzed back to my face, hugged my nose, "Then why have we spent the last 20 minutes on how to break the news to Ivy in the gentlest way possible that you are going to risk life and limb to save her soul?" and then in a sing song voice, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." Then he gave me the biggest Pixie shit eating grin I have ever seen, a quick salute and buzzed off into the garden. In his wake he left a stunned witch doing an excellent impression of a carp.
Fucking Pixie, and where in the hell did he learn to quote Hamlet?