Of Pain, Revenge and Peace

[mere_shopkeeper]

Characters: other_sights and mere_shopkeeper
When: After this
Where: Fountain in the northwest sector and then... somewhere, maybe.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Ciel's upset, Urahara goes to find him.

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[other_sights]

Ciel never bothered to go far. It was cold, and it was pointless to try to be alone. Sebastian, at least, always knew where he was. At least with the cold he could count on very few people passing by. His coat was warm and wrapped tightly around him, leather gloves, heavy boots, thick scarf pulled up around his ears.

The air tasted like snow would be coming again, and Ciel sat on the cold stone edge of the empty, stained fountain.

He thought he should be angry, but instead, he mind was numb, with a bitterness around the edges. He could almost taste it on his tongue.

Strong enough to leave the past behind.

His felt the presence of... someone, and slid his hand into his pocket, feeling the cold metal of the pistol. Once he had that reassurance, he looked up, eye hard and guarded.

Urahara. There wasn't any flicker of emotion, not even annoyance. Instead, he removed his hand from his pocket, watching the man, waiting. He didn't even demand to know what he was doing there. He knew.

[other_sights]

"Why?"

Soft, almost airy. Urahara might not be playing with the scarf at all.

It was a weighted question in all sorts of ways, but really, he wanted to know the answer. Did anyone really see the merit in living in a place that wouldn't have any consequence on their own worlds? Did they really believe that any change that happened here would be permanent or worthwhile?

In a world where anyone could disappear at any time... how could they?

[mere_shopkeeper]

He hummed quietly before shrugging lightly.

"Because even if my mind won't remember it when I return home, my soul will have met and grown close with all the people here." A small smile was offered up. "It is worthwhile, because I will have experienced it and learned from it in the now... Because it matters in the present, which is all that matters here."

[other_sights]

Ciel gave a soft snort, staring off into the distance, watching the sky.

"Of all people, I'd have never expected you to sound like Lizzie."

Though, perhaps, he should have.

[mere_shopkeeper]

"I live and believe," Urahara replied simply, his head still tilted back to watch Ciel with those grey eyes. "Sometimes, that is all that is needed."

[other_sights]

The single blue eye that watched him was completely opaque. He had believed, once. Hell, he'd lived, once. But even with this encouragement from those who truly seemed to care for him, even when he examined it closely-

All he felt was tired.

Tired, and vaguely annoyed. It wasn't enough. Hope and belief and all those pretty little words that seemed to mean so much to these people just didn't cut it for him. He'd thought it was because of what he'd been through, that they just didn't understand, but it was more than that.

There was a hunger in him, something eating away inside of him, a grinding ache that just wouldn't let up. It was why he'd grown so restless without the ability to move forward. He could pretend, he could even feel almost happy at times, but the sense of something left unfinished would never leave.

"Sometimes."

It didn't carry any anger. Nothing snide or superior. It was just a simple acknowledgment.

It wasn't enough for Ciel.

[mere_shopkeeper]

"But not always," Urahara finished for him, letting out a quiet sigh before nudging Ciel's legs with his head again. "Especially not when there's something waiting to be finished back at home, something that's been waiting for years, taking up time and planning and even becoming everything that one is..."

And something in his eyes indicated that Urahara knew just exactly what those feelings were like. He had lived a century like that.

"But that does not mean we cannot accept and acknowledge and believe in what is given to us here."

[other_sights]

The guard was creeping up in Ciel's eye again, but as soon as he realized what the look in his eyes meant, there was an edge of confusion. ... for Urahara to have something like that-

Ciel folded his hands, watching him carefully. He might have never had a reaction.

"If you say so."

[mere_shopkeeper]

"I do~!" he responded with a grin as he pushed himself to his feet, one hand darting out to ruffle Ciel's hair before the man jumped lightly onto the edge of the fountain and started walking along it. "Ciel-san isn't the only one who has had important things taken away from him and a thirst for revenge~!"

A small smile gentled that grin, and a look was darted at him to show that while Urahara understood, he also knew that Ciel's situation wasn't the same as his and that he wasn't belittling his problems.

"But there's nothing that one can really do here about that, is there?"

[other_sights]

Only Urahara could act like this and speak of revenge in the same sentence. Ciel turned, watching, frowning at him, trying to put it together in his head. Asking would be useless, he was sure, but truly?

"All the more reason to leave as soon as possible."

[mere_shopkeeper]

"True~"

He stopped behind Ciel and leaned down over him to see him, one hand on his hat.

"But even if we were to return, nothing stops us from being returned back here without having achieved our goals. So in the end, focusing so hard on leaving, on not forming attachments here would essentially be useless, would it not?" A light grin accompanied shadowed eyes as he hopped down from the fountain. "I've waited a hundred years already... I can wait even longer if I have to, and enjoy it as I do. Letting such thoughts consume me means that they win the game, and I do rather hate losing in such a way~!"

[other_sights]

Ciel gave a low hum in thought, though tilting his head up this way made his neck cramp. He reached up to rub it, still watching Urahara as he flitted about.

He supposed it made sense, in a distant way. The crazy old man had a point.

Of course, the only reward he would get for it was silence, but that only meant Ciel had nothing to criticize.

[mere_shopkeeper]

Eventually, Urahara settled himself back down next to Ciel's legs, resting his head back against the fountain to look up at Ciel again. "You have this, and as long as you are here, you'll always have this place and its new opportunities... Are you going to let them take that away from you as well?"

[other_sights]

Something darkened Ciel's features. It was times like this that he didn't have a trace of child about him, though the rawness of the feeling was uncomplicated, young, and all the more dangerous and terrible for it. He had no weight of ages pressing down on him, but there was the sense forced growth, maturity broken too early, leaving what emerged from the cocoon to be scarred.

"No."

Nothing, no one, took something from him. It was easy to rationalize things in terms of pride.

For now, though, it would serve its purpose. It would keep him going.

[mere_shopkeeper]

Urahara didn't bother hiding his smirk as he stretched his arms up to tug on Ciel's scarf again, slightly harder this time, as if to forcefully yank him out of that dark mood. "Then it's settled~!"

[other_sights]

Ciel let out a squawk, arms giving a small flail as he was tugged forwards. He retaliated by knocking that hat askew.

"Quit tugging!"

Fuss.