3. priority, yes i guess :( but is not exclusivity
1. mag hasn't been smiling at me so i dunno if that's true ):
i get the feeling that i might as well cram my schedule up because even when i have spare time i don't do anything with it. like this week, i went home after debate on friday instead of the campfire, and on sat after debate i went to have a long lunch and fell asleep after coming home for 12 hours, and spent sunday in godforsaken manners. i don't know if this is called recharging batteries and is necessary, or if i should just devote this time to danceworks.
i feel this sense of.. like i'll regret it if i don't join danceworks, but it's not a very rational feeling given all the reasons against it.
on some level, i know.. but then i can't help feeling so awful every time other dancers are around. yet i know that all this pressure is all coming from the inside. it's easy to say, just stop telling myself stupid things like that, but i do anyway. arghhh. and then i get angry at myself for not being able to stop being negative.
<3 I don't think this is going to help very much, but I kind of get what you feel, I get that same awful insecurities when I'm hanging out with them in a dance-related way and also with my Hungry cast, even though there's only 4 days left... It's like they're so damn good and there's no place for something less...
Take care, Mich. Just hope that worries and humongous stress aside, you'll be able to enjoy and live every single moment of the experience you chose eventually.
Mish, you're not fat, not ugly or unfit dear! I think you might really enjoy this opportunity and stressed as you may because, I can almost tell you'll handle (even with difficulty). Let yourself be happy :D
Comments 11
(The comment has been removed)
Reply
3. priority, yes i guess :( but is not exclusivity
1. mag hasn't been smiling at me so i dunno if that's true ):
i get the feeling that i might as well cram my schedule up because even when i have spare time i don't do anything with it. like this week, i went home after debate on friday instead of the campfire, and on sat after debate i went to have a long lunch and fell asleep after coming home for 12 hours, and spent sunday in godforsaken manners. i don't know if this is called recharging batteries and is necessary, or if i should just devote this time to danceworks.
i feel this sense of.. like i'll regret it if i don't join danceworks, but it's not a very rational feeling given all the reasons against it.
<3 too.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Take care, Mich. Just hope that worries and humongous stress aside, you'll be able to enjoy and live every single moment of the experience you chose eventually.
*hug*
Reply
Reply
on one hand it seems like your responsiblity is to nydebate but on the other for goodness' sake you're only 17-18 once.
no matter what (there's no real right/wrong here), just stick by your choice and be happy with it. no regrets. just keep swimming!
with love! (AND DIGITAL HUGS), r.
Reply
Leave a comment