Separating Fear and Love

[adpaz]

For many, many years, fear had been an integral part of how I loved.  It wasn't fear of abuse, or fear of something horrible happening to the person I loved.  It was fear of being unlovable, of being left alone.  That fear helped shape many a bad decision, ruined friendships, and came very close to making the fear a reality

Comments

[penpusher]

The experiences that we have turn us into the people we have become. But it's actually a bit more than that. Experiences shape us, but it's what we do in response that actually transforms us. That's why my favorite Ancient Chinese saying is "We cannot always choose what happens to us, but we can always choose our reaction to it." In fact how we react is going to have a big impact on what goes on. You needed to learn those lessons.

We definitely have been learning lessons while on this planet. And the lessons we don't learn, we have to repeat until we do. We can see that based on patterns of behavior, and understanding our own choices. That's why it's great you have accomplished so much during this twenty years. Congratulations!

[adpaz]

Thank you! That's a lot of the same philosophy I have.

[eternal_ot]

I could see a little bit of me in your writing. Good to know you have reached a better place :) Cheers ! and *Hugs*

[adpaz]

Thanks! I always write from the heart. *hugs*

[bewize]

This was a really brave writing. Thank you for sharing.

[adpaz]

Thank you for commenting.

[xlovebecomesher]

Beautifully written!

[adpaz]

Thank you!

[my_name_is_jenn]

I'm the opposite. I have such a fear of rejection that being alone became my comfort zone/safe space. I get anxiety when I have to go out and do things with people.

*shudder* ... people.

I hate that you had to go through all of that to get to where you are today, but I'm glad you've found happiness. You deserve it.

[adpaz]

Thank you! I have a bit of social anxiety - I usually need at least one other person that I know when I go somewhere and making phone calls... *shudder* So I understand where you're coming from too. *hugs*