If I could run away, I would.
Just when you thought everything is going to be fine, all the problems have become bubbles and you are on the way to healing.. someone or an issue burst your bubble and now things are just back at square one. All your healing have become ashes and you are still hurt, right now, more than ever.
Fuck it. I swear I hate when that happens. And it loves to occur when I least expect it to occur, if not all of the time when I feel that things are going to be fine now and I am finally free from emotional stress well at least for a week or two or a month even. Couldn't ask for more when these things happen. Heh.
I thought things are looking better at home since Raya when I helped her out with all the food, cleaning and whatnots and of course, when she injured herself last week due to overworking and I gladly took care of her without asking anything in return, after all, it is my duty as a daughter to take care of her. Or so I thought it was, probably it is just a wishful thinking of mine for things to get better not only on the surface.
Look here, I am tired. You know it too well already, I have been whining, moaning, groaning, asking for hugs and even falling asleep in places which I least to be asleep these days and I know its already getting on your nerves here but hey, what am I to do already? I have ran out of inspirations and ideas even not to get affected by these home-family problems or her even. I am tired of being treated like as if I just turned 8 a few minutes ago, for God's sake, I am already 18. I am extremely tired of being treated as if I don't know what is right and wrong and like as if it is easy for me to lose my virginity. I don't need her to remind me all that and jump to conclusions when I go out each time. What's wrong with me going out and enjoying my break when I have gone through enough shit to zap me dead? She is going through stress with her work and her body which is getting old, I am too aren't I? I am going through stress all the same, with school work, commitments and hey, if you have forgotten.. my health is not too good either. I am not complaining to her all that have I?
I am very and I mean really very tired and not to mention sick of having to go through all these emotional distress at home. Is it wrong for me to go home everyday and enjoy whatever peace and tranquility the home has? At times, no most of the time, I wish/want to just go home after a tiring and stressful day in school without any emotional distress, problems at home. No screaming, no banging of doors, no intense glares, no shouting at each other, no reasoning, no jumping of conclusions, no finger pointings, no tears, no anger but just plain peace and quietness that I long for after slogging my guts and killing my brain cells.
Is that too much to ask for?
I would run away from all these to a far away land, so far away till you couldn't find me if I could.
Fuck it. I swear I hate when that happens. And it loves to occur when I least expect it to occur, if not all of the time when I feel that things are going to be fine now and I am finally free from emotional stress well at least for a week or two or a month even. Couldn't ask for more when these things happen. Heh.
I thought things are looking better at home since Raya when I helped her out with all the food, cleaning and whatnots and of course, when she injured herself last week due to overworking and I gladly took care of her without asking anything in return, after all, it is my duty as a daughter to take care of her. Or so I thought it was, probably it is just a wishful thinking of mine for things to get better not only on the surface.
Look here, I am tired. You know it too well already, I have been whining, moaning, groaning, asking for hugs and even falling asleep in places which I least to be asleep these days and I know its already getting on your nerves here but hey, what am I to do already? I have ran out of inspirations and ideas even not to get affected by these home-family problems or her even. I am tired of being treated like as if I just turned 8 a few minutes ago, for God's sake, I am already 18. I am extremely tired of being treated as if I don't know what is right and wrong and like as if it is easy for me to lose my virginity. I don't need her to remind me all that and jump to conclusions when I go out each time. What's wrong with me going out and enjoying my break when I have gone through enough shit to zap me dead? She is going through stress with her work and her body which is getting old, I am too aren't I? I am going through stress all the same, with school work, commitments and hey, if you have forgotten.. my health is not too good either. I am not complaining to her all that have I?
I am very and I mean really very tired and not to mention sick of having to go through all these emotional distress at home. Is it wrong for me to go home everyday and enjoy whatever peace and tranquility the home has? At times, no most of the time, I wish/want to just go home after a tiring and stressful day in school without any emotional distress, problems at home. No screaming, no banging of doors, no intense glares, no shouting at each other, no reasoning, no jumping of conclusions, no finger pointings, no tears, no anger but just plain peace and quietness that I long for after slogging my guts and killing my brain cells.
Is that too much to ask for?
I would run away from all these to a far away land, so far away till you couldn't find me if I could.