people reading this (and that's assuming anyone ever actually does read this - which i doubt) may think that i am a bipolar nut-case. this is utterly untrue. ish. yes, i have my ups and downs - and most of my downs get posted on here in rant form - but i do have ups, too! like right now, for instance. it's true that i want to rip my hair out as a ( Read more... )

i wish i wrote here more.
sometimes the things i think are just too complex for even more to put into words.
i haven't decided if i like this boy or not.
or even if i should.
we've hung out twice outside of camp and it's... fun, i guess.
a large part of me knows i shouldn't start anything.
but those eyes...

boys pop into my life at the most inopportune of times. all i wanted was a fun, stress-free summer, despite the general anxiety that comes from summer classes and work and being home for an extended amount of time. all i want in life is to just settle down; to stop playing these stupid dating games and find something real. i have three ( Read more... )

i don't know how or when it happened... but sometime in the past 10 months i fell in love with you. and knowing that i can't have you is the absolute worst feeling in the world.

happy new year?
fail, i haven't written since halloween.
i don't really know what to say, though.
i love my life. :)
so i guess this isn't a normal i'm-writing-cause-i'm-pissed-off-and/or-depressed kinda things.
i'm leaving for maryland this afternoon to visit mitchell and erin and emilie and kate.
i'm so happy.

i love you. <3

why do i keep falling in love with him?
maybe it's not even a question.
it 's just ... a fact.
a completely unfaltering and undeniable fact.

i have the rest of college.
i have clubs and bars.
i have grad school.
i have the work place.

i don't have to settle for the familiar.
now, oh dear g-d, let me have the strength not to.

i've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn, and we are led to those who help up most to grow, if we let them, and we help them in return. well i don't know if i believe that's true, but i know i'm who i am today because i knew you. like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun, like a ( Read more... )

i love when my ideas get shot down.

oh, and when i realize how clear that picture is in my head.
it shouldn't be that clear.
but it is.
it is so very very vivid.
i guess we'll see where life goes.

i really can't believe freshman year of college is over. only three more? WHAT? i think that's a rip off, personally. but honestly, this year has been unbelievable in so many ways and i really have to thank [or blame?] all of my friends. there are far too many people who have contributed to changing my life this past year to name them all, but ( Read more... )