#85 If I Say Shut Your Eyes, Bury Me in Surprise
Title: If I Say Shut Your Eyes, Bury Me in Surprise
Rating: PG-15
Word Count: 780
Summary: What kind of world is left when everything ceases to exist, but you-you’re still alive.
Warnings: slight delusion, implied character death
“There’s nobody here.”
Their breaths are broken, ragged from staggering steps across barren miles.
Jongin wasn’t looking for anybody anyway. He stopped months ago when he pulled a crying Luhan out from the rubble of their apartment. He stopped after he discovered his parents’ house burnt to the ground.
It just didn’t matter anymore. He has Luhan and that’s enough.
“Let’s settle here for the night then. I’m tired and you need to rest.”
Luhan reaches out and Jongin’s hand is already meeting his. Their fingers curl together. Jongin’s sure if they let go, they’d wither away with the rest of the world.
-
Moonlight streams through the crack of the roof. It falls down in rays around their makeshift campground amidst crooked, rusted shelves and expired goods. The moonlight’s always shining, following them wherever they go. Illuminating the way to more rundown buildings and through a foreign city they once knew.
Their surroundings have changed. And yet, somehow, Luhan’s the same.
Luhan likes to fall asleep snuggled against his side, head rested against his heart. It’s a diehard habit from when they first started dating. His heartbeat calms Luhan into a lull, but now, it reassures him that Jongin’s still here. He’s still alive.
He hasn’t left Luhan alone.
-
The world purges itself and everybody dies or disappears or something. Except for them. They’re alive and Jongin hasn’t decided yet if that’s a good thing or not.
“Would it be better if we just-”
“Don’t, Jongin.” Luhan doesn’t want to hear his shit.
Jongin doesn’t want to say it either. He doesn’t need to say it because it’s haunting their shadows, their thoughts. It’s in the way Luhan drags his useless leg around.
Misery weighs heavy on their shoulders and it’s there to stay.
“Why not, Lu? We’re suffering. There’s no fucking end to this.”
Luhan stares at him with a cracked smile. He’’s disappointed. “I don’t want to die, Jongin. So don’t let me.”
He takes a good look at Luhan. The matted hair with the purples flowers that grow like weed around them. The cheeks smudged with dirt. The bent crutches. The glint in his eyes that makes Jongin feel guilty as fuck because Luhan’s still hopeful for something. And hope isn’t a good look on Jongin.
-
Rough hands cup around gaunt cheeks.
Luhan’s still soft against him. He still makes his heart flutter and drop into his stomach.
When they kiss, he can still steal Luhan’s breath and make him weak in the knees. But, it’s not enough to suck him back into the past. Luhan’s not enough to fade out the disaster around them.
So he pretends to forget.
He takes Luhan on their tattered blanket. It’s borderline romantic how the moonlight casts a translucent veil around them while Jongin steals more than just his breath-he swallows Luhan’s moans and whimpers. His whispered I love yous. And maybe, he’s taking a little bit of that hope for himself.
-
When Jongin wakes up, Luhan’s already outside waiting for him. For another day of searching for something.
There’s no clear destination ahead of them. They walk until their hearts fall and their bones collapse. It’s a neverending cycle and without Luhan, Jongin would have given up.
-
“Do you hear that?”
Jongin scans the hazy horizon and shakes his head. “I don’t hear anything, Lu.”
“Listen harder.”
It takes a few seconds, but the moment he hears it, the flowing water’s louder and crystal clear in his ears. They follow the sound until they’ve reached a narrow river.
The water glimmers, sparkling as it’s pulled towards the moonlight.
It’s been so long since Jongin had a proper washing. The water glides over his body as he steps in. It soothes the heated aches in his muscles and carries his thoughts away. He dips down under the surface of the water for a second before coming back up, flipping his hair out of his face.
“You look like a prince with the moonlight behind you and the waterdrops falling off of you.”
Everything’s music to his ears. Luhan’s laugh, the water splashing around him. Jongin holds his hands out to Luhan, coaxing him into the water. But Luhan doesn’t move from where he’s standing, eyes fixated on Jongin. Smile glued on his face.
“You’re not coming in with me?”
“I can’t.” Luhan stops smiling, but Jongin can still see it lingering at the corners of Luhan’s lips. His gaze lowers and Jongin’s own gaze is following, watching his lone reflection ripple in the water.
“I forgot.”
-
“You’re not really here.”
-
Jongin walks on towards the horizon with Luhan in his memory. In his heart because he promised he wouldn’t let him die.
Rating: PG-15
Word Count: 780
Summary: What kind of world is left when everything ceases to exist, but you-you’re still alive.
Warnings: slight delusion, implied character death
“There’s nobody here.”
Their breaths are broken, ragged from staggering steps across barren miles.
Jongin wasn’t looking for anybody anyway. He stopped months ago when he pulled a crying Luhan out from the rubble of their apartment. He stopped after he discovered his parents’ house burnt to the ground.
It just didn’t matter anymore. He has Luhan and that’s enough.
“Let’s settle here for the night then. I’m tired and you need to rest.”
Luhan reaches out and Jongin’s hand is already meeting his. Their fingers curl together. Jongin’s sure if they let go, they’d wither away with the rest of the world.
-
Moonlight streams through the crack of the roof. It falls down in rays around their makeshift campground amidst crooked, rusted shelves and expired goods. The moonlight’s always shining, following them wherever they go. Illuminating the way to more rundown buildings and through a foreign city they once knew.
Their surroundings have changed. And yet, somehow, Luhan’s the same.
Luhan likes to fall asleep snuggled against his side, head rested against his heart. It’s a diehard habit from when they first started dating. His heartbeat calms Luhan into a lull, but now, it reassures him that Jongin’s still here. He’s still alive.
He hasn’t left Luhan alone.
-
The world purges itself and everybody dies or disappears or something. Except for them. They’re alive and Jongin hasn’t decided yet if that’s a good thing or not.
“Would it be better if we just-”
“Don’t, Jongin.” Luhan doesn’t want to hear his shit.
Jongin doesn’t want to say it either. He doesn’t need to say it because it’s haunting their shadows, their thoughts. It’s in the way Luhan drags his useless leg around.
Misery weighs heavy on their shoulders and it’s there to stay.
“Why not, Lu? We’re suffering. There’s no fucking end to this.”
Luhan stares at him with a cracked smile. He’’s disappointed. “I don’t want to die, Jongin. So don’t let me.”
He takes a good look at Luhan. The matted hair with the purples flowers that grow like weed around them. The cheeks smudged with dirt. The bent crutches. The glint in his eyes that makes Jongin feel guilty as fuck because Luhan’s still hopeful for something. And hope isn’t a good look on Jongin.
-
Rough hands cup around gaunt cheeks.
Luhan’s still soft against him. He still makes his heart flutter and drop into his stomach.
When they kiss, he can still steal Luhan’s breath and make him weak in the knees. But, it’s not enough to suck him back into the past. Luhan’s not enough to fade out the disaster around them.
So he pretends to forget.
He takes Luhan on their tattered blanket. It’s borderline romantic how the moonlight casts a translucent veil around them while Jongin steals more than just his breath-he swallows Luhan’s moans and whimpers. His whispered I love yous. And maybe, he’s taking a little bit of that hope for himself.
-
When Jongin wakes up, Luhan’s already outside waiting for him. For another day of searching for something.
There’s no clear destination ahead of them. They walk until their hearts fall and their bones collapse. It’s a neverending cycle and without Luhan, Jongin would have given up.
-
“Do you hear that?”
Jongin scans the hazy horizon and shakes his head. “I don’t hear anything, Lu.”
“Listen harder.”
It takes a few seconds, but the moment he hears it, the flowing water’s louder and crystal clear in his ears. They follow the sound until they’ve reached a narrow river.
The water glimmers, sparkling as it’s pulled towards the moonlight.
It’s been so long since Jongin had a proper washing. The water glides over his body as he steps in. It soothes the heated aches in his muscles and carries his thoughts away. He dips down under the surface of the water for a second before coming back up, flipping his hair out of his face.
“You look like a prince with the moonlight behind you and the waterdrops falling off of you.”
Everything’s music to his ears. Luhan’s laugh, the water splashing around him. Jongin holds his hands out to Luhan, coaxing him into the water. But Luhan doesn’t move from where he’s standing, eyes fixated on Jongin. Smile glued on his face.
“You’re not coming in with me?”
“I can’t.” Luhan stops smiling, but Jongin can still see it lingering at the corners of Luhan’s lips. His gaze lowers and Jongin’s own gaze is following, watching his lone reflection ripple in the water.
“I forgot.”
-
“You’re not really here.”
-
Jongin walks on towards the horizon with Luhan in his memory. In his heart because he promised he wouldn’t let him die.