47
Title: Wing
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: KyuMin (I know, what?)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own.
Summary: You should have seen it coming, you think. You all should have, really.
Notes: Second person. 1,335 words. Gratuitous use of the flashback. Angst.
You should have seen it coming, you think. You all should have, really. But none of you were paying enough attention; none of you were observant enough to notice what was going on, and now it’s too late and you have one boy crying in the bathroom, alone, and the other shell-shocked in his bedroom, not talking to anyone.
And now, there’s nothing for you to do but wait.
Kyuhyun moved in without much fuss, three suitcases which he half unpacked and half just stuffed under his bed, and a backpack filled with a few books and pictures, odd and ends and remembrances of home. He didn’t say anything for the whole first night, just nodded and smiled and looked more than vaguely uncomfortable. None of you expected more from him, because you’d been together for how long? And being new in a home filled with twelve strangers who all knew their place was not something to laugh at.
He ate dinner with you in silence and retreated to his room, pulling out a notebook, and, as far as you could tell from peeking in, writing in it until he went to sleep.
He shared a room with Sungmin, but Sungmin would say nothing about him the next morning, and it just made you wonder if he cried in his sleep, and if Sungmin could hear it.
After that, though, you all tried to make him feel welcome. He talked the next day, a little, and smiled more than that, and you thought that maybe, maybe everything would work out. He seemed nice enough, if a little shy, but then again, who wouldn’t be? He caught on quickly in rehearsal, and his voice made everyone melt a little, and he smiled almost like he knew it when Sungmin patted him on the back.
It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t simple. The dynamic had to be reworked around him, and new connections had to be made. Everything had to work out, because he was part of your group and he wasn’t going away. You all knew that.
You think that it’s because of that, and maybe a little bit because of whatever happened that first night, that Sungmin decided to take him under his wing. And that’s when things started to get complicated.
You knock on the closed door, but Sungmin doesn’t answer. You’re not surprised, but you have to try. You’ve worked too hard, you all have, to let something like this cause a rift. And you know that you are too fucking stubborn to let it end like this.
You hate that didn’t notice, that you didn’t think enough, that you let this happen, if even it wasn’t purposeful.
You call his name, but you know before you finish saying it that it’s a no go. Sungmin won’t talk until he’s ready, and you have no idea when that might be.
You learned, after that, that he liked to cook. He’d help Hankyung out in the kitchen, and never make him do the dishes alone after. He was always talking about his mother’s recipes and how he could never live up to them, but he’s still smile and blush when Sungmin licked his lips and said his mother’s cooking must be heavenly, then, to be even better than his. He was always modest and always polite and always a little bit too quiet. But that was okay, because he could have been abrasive and rude and he could have pissed everyone off in the first four minutes. But no, instead everyone liked him, and that made things worse, later.
The room he shared with Sungmin filled up with his stuff as he finally unpacked, and the two of them would sit in there and read over each other shoulders, and giggle over jokes that no one else got, and you don’t think he ever laughed as much as he did then. You were happy that he felt comfortable with someone, at least, and you hoped that maybe, eventually, he’d be that way with the rest of you.
He talked to you, sure, but he always looked around to find Sungmin. You could understand his clinging, after all, Sungmin was the one who reached out to him, Sungmin was the one who showed he was wanted, and Sungmin was the one who he felt really knew him, and maybe the only one who he felt really wanted to. You didn’t think anything of it, really, and that’s where you went wrong.
You should’ve seen his smile, seen his face, and known right then what was going on. You should’ve seen it, even when no one else did. Even when Sungmin didn’t see it, you should have. You should have.
It shouldn’t have happened that fast, it really shouldn’t’ve. You know about things like this, maybe more than most of the others, and what happened was fast and relentless and you don’t know if you could’ve stopped it even if you’d had the chance to. You wish you could’ve tried though. Because then you might’ve been able to keep things from getting as complicated as they are now.
Because now you have one boy who’s unsure of his own feelings, but knows exactly what they aren’t, and one who feels like his heart’s been ripped out and stepped on. And neither is something that should happen, not to them, not to anybody.
It happened in the living room. It happened in the living right in front of the white sofa, and you didn’t mean to see it. You were about to enter the room, but the hushed voices stopped you, and you just peered around the corner, you just peeked in to see Kyuhyun sitting just that little bit too close. You saw Sungmin shift back a little, uncomfortable. You saw Kyuhyun lean closer. You saw him kiss Sungmin, hand touching one cheek, and you shouldn’t have been surprised, but you were. You were shocked, and you covered your mouth with one hand to keep quiet, something you were not used to doing.
That’s when Sungmin pushed him away. His eyes wide and his fingers clenched into fists and his mouth partially open, but he pushed Kyuhyun away and stood and ran from the room, wiping his mouth furiously with his hand. He shoved past you, and that’s when Kyuhyun saw you. Your eyes met as a door slammed behind you somewhere, and you saw the tears start there before he looked away, before he stood up, before he walked by you without glancing up. You touched his arm and he just shrugged you off, and you didn’t know what to do with that. Did you stop him? Did you let him go? Did you talk to him?
But in the end you hesitated too much, and you let him walk by and you said nothing. And you wish you had. Said it’s okay or I’m sorry or he won’t hate you. But you didn’t.
Instead, you heard the bathroom door lock, and you heard the sniffles, and you wondered what Sungmin was doing, what he was thinking.
You wondered how you could have possibly been so blind.
You knock on Sungmin’s door again, the room he shares with Kyuhyun, filled with the messy mix of all of their possessions, and you say Sungmin? Are you okay? and you’re not even sure if anyone else knows what’s happened yet.
And you hear Sungmin from behind the door. He says it wasn’t supposed to happen like that. He says I didn’t - how could I not know? He says I just wish - I wish I could want him the way he wants me. But I can’t.
You say I know, Sungmin, because you do. You do. No one knows as well as you do.
Now, though, you have to try to get into the bathroom, you have to try to talk to Kyuhyun, you have to try to fix him, but you’ve never been very good at that.
End Notes: Any thoughts on who the narrator is, by the way? Because I'm curious.
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: KyuMin (I know, what?)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own.
Summary: You should have seen it coming, you think. You all should have, really.
Notes: Second person. 1,335 words. Gratuitous use of the flashback. Angst.
You should have seen it coming, you think. You all should have, really. But none of you were paying enough attention; none of you were observant enough to notice what was going on, and now it’s too late and you have one boy crying in the bathroom, alone, and the other shell-shocked in his bedroom, not talking to anyone.
And now, there’s nothing for you to do but wait.
Kyuhyun moved in without much fuss, three suitcases which he half unpacked and half just stuffed under his bed, and a backpack filled with a few books and pictures, odd and ends and remembrances of home. He didn’t say anything for the whole first night, just nodded and smiled and looked more than vaguely uncomfortable. None of you expected more from him, because you’d been together for how long? And being new in a home filled with twelve strangers who all knew their place was not something to laugh at.
He ate dinner with you in silence and retreated to his room, pulling out a notebook, and, as far as you could tell from peeking in, writing in it until he went to sleep.
He shared a room with Sungmin, but Sungmin would say nothing about him the next morning, and it just made you wonder if he cried in his sleep, and if Sungmin could hear it.
After that, though, you all tried to make him feel welcome. He talked the next day, a little, and smiled more than that, and you thought that maybe, maybe everything would work out. He seemed nice enough, if a little shy, but then again, who wouldn’t be? He caught on quickly in rehearsal, and his voice made everyone melt a little, and he smiled almost like he knew it when Sungmin patted him on the back.
It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t simple. The dynamic had to be reworked around him, and new connections had to be made. Everything had to work out, because he was part of your group and he wasn’t going away. You all knew that.
You think that it’s because of that, and maybe a little bit because of whatever happened that first night, that Sungmin decided to take him under his wing. And that’s when things started to get complicated.
You knock on the closed door, but Sungmin doesn’t answer. You’re not surprised, but you have to try. You’ve worked too hard, you all have, to let something like this cause a rift. And you know that you are too fucking stubborn to let it end like this.
You hate that didn’t notice, that you didn’t think enough, that you let this happen, if even it wasn’t purposeful.
You call his name, but you know before you finish saying it that it’s a no go. Sungmin won’t talk until he’s ready, and you have no idea when that might be.
You learned, after that, that he liked to cook. He’d help Hankyung out in the kitchen, and never make him do the dishes alone after. He was always talking about his mother’s recipes and how he could never live up to them, but he’s still smile and blush when Sungmin licked his lips and said his mother’s cooking must be heavenly, then, to be even better than his. He was always modest and always polite and always a little bit too quiet. But that was okay, because he could have been abrasive and rude and he could have pissed everyone off in the first four minutes. But no, instead everyone liked him, and that made things worse, later.
The room he shared with Sungmin filled up with his stuff as he finally unpacked, and the two of them would sit in there and read over each other shoulders, and giggle over jokes that no one else got, and you don’t think he ever laughed as much as he did then. You were happy that he felt comfortable with someone, at least, and you hoped that maybe, eventually, he’d be that way with the rest of you.
He talked to you, sure, but he always looked around to find Sungmin. You could understand his clinging, after all, Sungmin was the one who reached out to him, Sungmin was the one who showed he was wanted, and Sungmin was the one who he felt really knew him, and maybe the only one who he felt really wanted to. You didn’t think anything of it, really, and that’s where you went wrong.
You should’ve seen his smile, seen his face, and known right then what was going on. You should’ve seen it, even when no one else did. Even when Sungmin didn’t see it, you should have. You should have.
It shouldn’t have happened that fast, it really shouldn’t’ve. You know about things like this, maybe more than most of the others, and what happened was fast and relentless and you don’t know if you could’ve stopped it even if you’d had the chance to. You wish you could’ve tried though. Because then you might’ve been able to keep things from getting as complicated as they are now.
Because now you have one boy who’s unsure of his own feelings, but knows exactly what they aren’t, and one who feels like his heart’s been ripped out and stepped on. And neither is something that should happen, not to them, not to anybody.
It happened in the living room. It happened in the living right in front of the white sofa, and you didn’t mean to see it. You were about to enter the room, but the hushed voices stopped you, and you just peered around the corner, you just peeked in to see Kyuhyun sitting just that little bit too close. You saw Sungmin shift back a little, uncomfortable. You saw Kyuhyun lean closer. You saw him kiss Sungmin, hand touching one cheek, and you shouldn’t have been surprised, but you were. You were shocked, and you covered your mouth with one hand to keep quiet, something you were not used to doing.
That’s when Sungmin pushed him away. His eyes wide and his fingers clenched into fists and his mouth partially open, but he pushed Kyuhyun away and stood and ran from the room, wiping his mouth furiously with his hand. He shoved past you, and that’s when Kyuhyun saw you. Your eyes met as a door slammed behind you somewhere, and you saw the tears start there before he looked away, before he stood up, before he walked by you without glancing up. You touched his arm and he just shrugged you off, and you didn’t know what to do with that. Did you stop him? Did you let him go? Did you talk to him?
But in the end you hesitated too much, and you let him walk by and you said nothing. And you wish you had. Said it’s okay or I’m sorry or he won’t hate you. But you didn’t.
Instead, you heard the bathroom door lock, and you heard the sniffles, and you wondered what Sungmin was doing, what he was thinking.
You wondered how you could have possibly been so blind.
You knock on Sungmin’s door again, the room he shares with Kyuhyun, filled with the messy mix of all of their possessions, and you say Sungmin? Are you okay? and you’re not even sure if anyone else knows what’s happened yet.
And you hear Sungmin from behind the door. He says it wasn’t supposed to happen like that. He says I didn’t - how could I not know? He says I just wish - I wish I could want him the way he wants me. But I can’t.
You say I know, Sungmin, because you do. You do. No one knows as well as you do.
Now, though, you have to try to get into the bathroom, you have to try to talk to Kyuhyun, you have to try to fix him, but you’ve never been very good at that.
End Notes: Any thoughts on who the narrator is, by the way? Because I'm curious.