Tell Me - Part 8
Title: Tell Me
Fandom: McFly
Pairing: PoynterJudd
Rating: 12
Part: 8/8
Word Count: 1,062
Summary: Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star,
One without a permanent scar,
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there
To my shock, Dougie doesn’t leave. Instead he reaches down, grabs my hand, and drags me - not out of the pub to the car for wild make-up sex as I half hope, but in the opposite direction, towards the back of the pub.
For a minute I think he’s taking me to the toilets for wild make-up sex there instead - not my favourite choice, personally, but if needs must… but he walks straight past them, still dragging me, his grip on my hand iron-like so I couldn’t escape even if I wanted to (since when did he get so strong, anyway?), and he pushes open the back door with his free hand, leading me out into the beer garden.
For a moment I’m confused.
Then he’s shoving me up against the rough stone wall and any logical thoughts leave my head as he moves close enough to hold me there.
I freeze. I feel like I can’t move at all; my brain doesn’t exactly seem to be functioning properly - yet every nerve in my body feels like it’s on fire, and I can feel my heard beating a loud rhythm in my chest.
I don’t have a clue what to do.
Clearly he knows it, and he grins wickedly, tracing the outline of my lips with his finger, His touch feels as though it’s left a series of dieing sparks across my skin.
“Do you remember what happened here?” he whispers. I nod, slowly. We’d not only had our first kiss against this very wall, but it was also the wall he’d been leaning against the first time I went down on him, while he hissed that someone could come out and see us at any minute - at least, that’s what he said to begin with. By the end he’d somewhat changed his tune. At those times it had been me holding him there, and me convincing him, as it had always been. I was the leader, always had been. Now was somewhat a role reversal, to say the least.
Even as I nod I know what he’s going to do, and he leans in to kiss me, parting my lips lightly with his tongue before slipping it inside my mouth.
For a moment I allow the bittersweet taste of his lips against mine after five years, five years, of waiting to envelop me entirely.
Then I roughly push him away.
He looks at me, puzzled, before moving back towards me.
I step away.
He’s about to say something, but I interrupt, not feeling capable of hearing whatever it is he has to say. “I can’t,” I say, trying not to look at him. “I just can’t, I’m sorry.”
I think maybe he’ll give up now, that he’ll just leave me alone, that I can deal and I can get through this. But then I look into his eyes, just for an instant, and that’s my undoing. He reaches up and takes hold of my chin, forcing me to continue looking at him, because even as I try not to he’s still there in front of me and I can’t avoid him.
“Why not?” he whispers, his eyes pleading with me, giving me that puppy dog look he’s so good at. It kills me, but still I pull away again, more roughly this time.
“Maybe there’s someone else,” I bite out bitterly. “Have you thought of that?”
“There’s not though,” he replies, staring straight at me. He’s so certain of this, so certain there’s no one else, his belief not faltering, that it drives me crazy, and in that moment I want nothing more than to hit him for knowing me so well. Instead I turn away from him, feeling that’s the only thing I can do, and everything I’ve been trying so hard not to say comes pouring out of my mouth, a streaming torrent that I can’t seem to stop.
“That doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean I want this! I can’t do it again. I can’t love you when I know you’ll just turn around and leave just like you did last time. And when you do that it’ll be even worse that before and frankly it wasn’t exactly fun them. I can’t stand the thought of how insecure I’ll be, because you’ll never need me as much as I need you, and I don’t want. To be. That. Person. So you know what? It’s just safer not to go there.”
An entire speech flowed out with barely a breath, a sign that inside in panicking. To my absolute horror I feel tears welling up in my eyes and I close them, desperately praying that I won’t show him how much pain I’m in.
“I won’t leave again,” he says softly. “I promise. I swear, I’m not going to leave you again. I couldn’t do it. From now on, where ever I go you come too, regardless of what you say.”
That last comment makes me smile at the irony, because of course he doesn’t know that I would have gone with him, if he’d only asked. I want to believe him, I really do, but I don’t know if I can. Then he’s pulling me around to face him, my eyes still closed, and he gently coaxes me down onto the damp grass. I feel like an idiot with my eyes still closed, and I wish I could see what he’s doing as he hear him shift around, his body creating a shadow on my face as he kneels in front of me, but I still don’t open them. I’m glad for it a moment later as he leans in to kiss my eyelids gently, wiping those traitorous tears away.
“What’s it going to take for you to believe me?” he asks, and I shrug. I don’t know - one second I think I don’t care and I just want him so badly, and the next I think I don’t want him anywhere near me. “I love you,” he says. “Doesn’t that mean anything anymore?”
I look up, disbelievingly, to see him smiling softly, almost in tears himself. It does matter, I realise. It means the world, but still, I’m so scared.
“Just try it,” he whispers, so quietly that I barely hear him. This time, when he leans in to kiss me, I don’t push him away.
Fandom: McFly
Pairing: PoynterJudd
Rating: 12
Part: 8/8
Word Count: 1,062
Summary: Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star,
One without a permanent scar,
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there
To my shock, Dougie doesn’t leave. Instead he reaches down, grabs my hand, and drags me - not out of the pub to the car for wild make-up sex as I half hope, but in the opposite direction, towards the back of the pub.
For a minute I think he’s taking me to the toilets for wild make-up sex there instead - not my favourite choice, personally, but if needs must… but he walks straight past them, still dragging me, his grip on my hand iron-like so I couldn’t escape even if I wanted to (since when did he get so strong, anyway?), and he pushes open the back door with his free hand, leading me out into the beer garden.
For a moment I’m confused.
Then he’s shoving me up against the rough stone wall and any logical thoughts leave my head as he moves close enough to hold me there.
I freeze. I feel like I can’t move at all; my brain doesn’t exactly seem to be functioning properly - yet every nerve in my body feels like it’s on fire, and I can feel my heard beating a loud rhythm in my chest.
I don’t have a clue what to do.
Clearly he knows it, and he grins wickedly, tracing the outline of my lips with his finger, His touch feels as though it’s left a series of dieing sparks across my skin.
“Do you remember what happened here?” he whispers. I nod, slowly. We’d not only had our first kiss against this very wall, but it was also the wall he’d been leaning against the first time I went down on him, while he hissed that someone could come out and see us at any minute - at least, that’s what he said to begin with. By the end he’d somewhat changed his tune. At those times it had been me holding him there, and me convincing him, as it had always been. I was the leader, always had been. Now was somewhat a role reversal, to say the least.
Even as I nod I know what he’s going to do, and he leans in to kiss me, parting my lips lightly with his tongue before slipping it inside my mouth.
For a moment I allow the bittersweet taste of his lips against mine after five years, five years, of waiting to envelop me entirely.
Then I roughly push him away.
He looks at me, puzzled, before moving back towards me.
I step away.
He’s about to say something, but I interrupt, not feeling capable of hearing whatever it is he has to say. “I can’t,” I say, trying not to look at him. “I just can’t, I’m sorry.”
I think maybe he’ll give up now, that he’ll just leave me alone, that I can deal and I can get through this. But then I look into his eyes, just for an instant, and that’s my undoing. He reaches up and takes hold of my chin, forcing me to continue looking at him, because even as I try not to he’s still there in front of me and I can’t avoid him.
“Why not?” he whispers, his eyes pleading with me, giving me that puppy dog look he’s so good at. It kills me, but still I pull away again, more roughly this time.
“Maybe there’s someone else,” I bite out bitterly. “Have you thought of that?”
“There’s not though,” he replies, staring straight at me. He’s so certain of this, so certain there’s no one else, his belief not faltering, that it drives me crazy, and in that moment I want nothing more than to hit him for knowing me so well. Instead I turn away from him, feeling that’s the only thing I can do, and everything I’ve been trying so hard not to say comes pouring out of my mouth, a streaming torrent that I can’t seem to stop.
“That doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean I want this! I can’t do it again. I can’t love you when I know you’ll just turn around and leave just like you did last time. And when you do that it’ll be even worse that before and frankly it wasn’t exactly fun them. I can’t stand the thought of how insecure I’ll be, because you’ll never need me as much as I need you, and I don’t want. To be. That. Person. So you know what? It’s just safer not to go there.”
An entire speech flowed out with barely a breath, a sign that inside in panicking. To my absolute horror I feel tears welling up in my eyes and I close them, desperately praying that I won’t show him how much pain I’m in.
“I won’t leave again,” he says softly. “I promise. I swear, I’m not going to leave you again. I couldn’t do it. From now on, where ever I go you come too, regardless of what you say.”
That last comment makes me smile at the irony, because of course he doesn’t know that I would have gone with him, if he’d only asked. I want to believe him, I really do, but I don’t know if I can. Then he’s pulling me around to face him, my eyes still closed, and he gently coaxes me down onto the damp grass. I feel like an idiot with my eyes still closed, and I wish I could see what he’s doing as he hear him shift around, his body creating a shadow on my face as he kneels in front of me, but I still don’t open them. I’m glad for it a moment later as he leans in to kiss my eyelids gently, wiping those traitorous tears away.
“What’s it going to take for you to believe me?” he asks, and I shrug. I don’t know - one second I think I don’t care and I just want him so badly, and the next I think I don’t want him anywhere near me. “I love you,” he says. “Doesn’t that mean anything anymore?”
I look up, disbelievingly, to see him smiling softly, almost in tears himself. It does matter, I realise. It means the world, but still, I’m so scared.
“Just try it,” he whispers, so quietly that I barely hear him. This time, when he leans in to kiss me, I don’t push him away.