The Fall
The helicopter circled the site that had been White Forest three times before either its pilot or its passenger found it in him to so much as make a sound. Gordon didn't know what was going on in the front seat; he was too busy staring out his window at the twisted, smoking cratered mess below, struggling to stave off the urge to be violently sick. That much destruction, that quickly... there wouldn't have been any time for anyone to get away. The Combine'd burnt the base off the face of the planet along with everything for half a mile around. Nobody could've-
"O miserable of happy! Is this the end
Of this new glorious world, and me so late
The glory of that glory, who now become
Accursed, of blessed?"
The words were no more than whispers, barely forced out of an unwilling throat. Gordon realized with a jolt that it was the Marine speaking. He turned back to the still-smoking ruins below and tried to block the sound out, but the words had the tone of someone incapable of holding back a flood.
"Hide me from the face
Of God, whom to behold was then my highth
Of happiness!--Yet well, if here would end
The misery; I deserved it, and would bear
My own deservings; but this will not serve..."
There was a gulp, and then only a little louder, Shephard said, "'m takin' us down, Freeman. You best hold on tight."
The landing, in the middle of what might've once been the open space where Gordon and Alyx had first parked the car, was as smooth and even as any Gordon could remember. Shephard popped the cockpit open and down from the chopper the instant the rotors stopped moving. Remembering what had happened at Tim Hutchence's base, Gordon took his time about circling around to check on him, but Shephard was still on his hands and knees when Gordon got there anyway. "You okay?" he murmured.
"No."
Gordon didn't know what to say to that.
"Not again. Jesus, not again."
"Huh?" Gordon had turned away to survey the destruction, hoping for some sign of life; he turned back.
"Wasn't there when the Combine came the first time," said Shephard quietly, not lifting his eyes from the dirt in front of him. "Didn't do my duty then, either. Wasn't here for this, 'n look what happened this time."
For one brief moment Gordon almost, almost had words of comfort ready. Then he remembered just who it was who'd told him that all the effort in the world would've gone to waste, and hated himself for having thought of it. "Shephard," he began, and stopped without knowing what was going to come next.
The Marine looked up at him, both his hands still on the soil, fingertips digging into the dirt.
"I think.... I think somebody escaped," Gordon said, and with a shock realized he wasn't lying. He did think that. More than that, he knew.
"Huh?"
"There was... something the Vortigaunts did," Gordon said carefully. "I don't know just how to describe it. But... before you reached here, the first time. Before either of us reached here. Alyx got run through by a Hunter..."
Shephard's expression didn't change, but he inclined his head fractionally. "Go on," he said.
"Well... she was dying," Gordon said. The thought was physically painful. "One of the Vortigaunts found us, and led us to several others down in the mines. They had a way of healing her. I don't know how to explain it, but... there was a point when they almost lost her. They said they needed a human to help. Something about weaving lives together, to strengthen her pattern so she wouldn't fall completely apart."
That merited two raised eyebrows.
"I don't understand what they did. Only that they did it, and that she was alive at the end of it," Gordon said. "And that ever since then, I've known that if anything happened to her- anything huge, anything fatal- I'd know. I'd feel it. Like half of me would be gone."
"Huh," said Shephard, and for a while he didn't say anything else. Neither did Gordon. Eventually, though, Shephard turned and looked at the wreckage of the base; then he looked back up at Gordon. "You're sure," he said.
"Positive."
"So you're sayin' you know she's alive somewheres."
Gordon nodded.
"Reckon anybody else made it out with her?" Shephard said slowly, as he started to let go of the soil beneath his hands.
"I couldn't tell you," Gordon was forced to admit. "But if a woman as pregnant as she was could get out of here alive and unharmed...."
"... then some of the folks who weren't so slow might've pulled it off too," finished Shephard. "Huh. All right."
"You seem to be taking this pretty easily," Gordon said with some surprise. "I didn't think you'd believe me."
"Freeman," said Shephard, coming to his feet, "I been workin' in the base kitchens with more Vortigaunts than I got fingers for weeks now. I've seen 'em in action, I know what they c'n do. I reckon there ain't a whole lot you could tell me 'bout the shit those green buggers pull that I wouldn't believe at this point. You tell me they made it so's you'd know if Ms. Vance died? I'll believe you. I'm okay with that." He wiped his hands ineffectually on his fatigues. "Don't suppose you got any kind of a GPS readout on her out of the deal? Got any kind of a bearing on her position?"
"Uh..." Gordon frowned and closed his eyes. "I'm not sure it works like-"
He stopped, realizing that actually, yes, it did work like that. At least, just for the moment. Gordon suddenly had a very real, very palpable sense of Alyx's presence- tired, hungry, and distant, but real enough. When he opened his eyes again, he was facing more or less southwest, and pointing. "That way," he said. "Hundreds of miles by now. I think."
Shephard grunted. "Y'sure about that?" he said.
"I haven't exactly done this kind of thing before," Gordon felt obliged to point out. "This is as much a guess as anything else."
"No it ain't. You don't guess shit, Freeman, I seen you in action," said Shephard. "I don't have to like you to believe you. You say she's a couple hunnert miles away? I reckon that means that fuckin'-ass boat got herself the fuck back here, 'cause we sure as shit didn't have nothin' at the base could move nowhere near that fast once you'n me took the chopper."
Gordon exhaled, shoulders slumping. "Okay," he said. "So we get back in the-"
"No we do not," said Shephard. "We are not takin' that bird nowhere Ms. Vance might be. Combine already killed everyfuckingthing here tryin' to git at the lot of us. I reckon they ain't figured out where the boat went or they'd be there by now. We go up in that bird-"
"-and they've got an airborne signal flare leading them straight to her location," Gordon finished. "Damn."
"Too right," said Shephard. "We're gon' have to see 'bout findin' any supplies didn't get blown straight to shit, 'n then we got to scuttle that hunk of junk 'fore we head on out. Hope you like walkin', Freeman."
Shephard seemed suspiciously cheerful at the prospect, but Gordon supposed it was better than the alternative.
"O miserable of happy! Is this the end
Of this new glorious world, and me so late
The glory of that glory, who now become
Accursed, of blessed?"
The words were no more than whispers, barely forced out of an unwilling throat. Gordon realized with a jolt that it was the Marine speaking. He turned back to the still-smoking ruins below and tried to block the sound out, but the words had the tone of someone incapable of holding back a flood.
"Hide me from the face
Of God, whom to behold was then my highth
Of happiness!--Yet well, if here would end
The misery; I deserved it, and would bear
My own deservings; but this will not serve..."
There was a gulp, and then only a little louder, Shephard said, "'m takin' us down, Freeman. You best hold on tight."
The landing, in the middle of what might've once been the open space where Gordon and Alyx had first parked the car, was as smooth and even as any Gordon could remember. Shephard popped the cockpit open and down from the chopper the instant the rotors stopped moving. Remembering what had happened at Tim Hutchence's base, Gordon took his time about circling around to check on him, but Shephard was still on his hands and knees when Gordon got there anyway. "You okay?" he murmured.
"No."
Gordon didn't know what to say to that.
"Not again. Jesus, not again."
"Huh?" Gordon had turned away to survey the destruction, hoping for some sign of life; he turned back.
"Wasn't there when the Combine came the first time," said Shephard quietly, not lifting his eyes from the dirt in front of him. "Didn't do my duty then, either. Wasn't here for this, 'n look what happened this time."
For one brief moment Gordon almost, almost had words of comfort ready. Then he remembered just who it was who'd told him that all the effort in the world would've gone to waste, and hated himself for having thought of it. "Shephard," he began, and stopped without knowing what was going to come next.
The Marine looked up at him, both his hands still on the soil, fingertips digging into the dirt.
"I think.... I think somebody escaped," Gordon said, and with a shock realized he wasn't lying. He did think that. More than that, he knew.
"Huh?"
"There was... something the Vortigaunts did," Gordon said carefully. "I don't know just how to describe it. But... before you reached here, the first time. Before either of us reached here. Alyx got run through by a Hunter..."
Shephard's expression didn't change, but he inclined his head fractionally. "Go on," he said.
"Well... she was dying," Gordon said. The thought was physically painful. "One of the Vortigaunts found us, and led us to several others down in the mines. They had a way of healing her. I don't know how to explain it, but... there was a point when they almost lost her. They said they needed a human to help. Something about weaving lives together, to strengthen her pattern so she wouldn't fall completely apart."
That merited two raised eyebrows.
"I don't understand what they did. Only that they did it, and that she was alive at the end of it," Gordon said. "And that ever since then, I've known that if anything happened to her- anything huge, anything fatal- I'd know. I'd feel it. Like half of me would be gone."
"Huh," said Shephard, and for a while he didn't say anything else. Neither did Gordon. Eventually, though, Shephard turned and looked at the wreckage of the base; then he looked back up at Gordon. "You're sure," he said.
"Positive."
"So you're sayin' you know she's alive somewheres."
Gordon nodded.
"Reckon anybody else made it out with her?" Shephard said slowly, as he started to let go of the soil beneath his hands.
"I couldn't tell you," Gordon was forced to admit. "But if a woman as pregnant as she was could get out of here alive and unharmed...."
"... then some of the folks who weren't so slow might've pulled it off too," finished Shephard. "Huh. All right."
"You seem to be taking this pretty easily," Gordon said with some surprise. "I didn't think you'd believe me."
"Freeman," said Shephard, coming to his feet, "I been workin' in the base kitchens with more Vortigaunts than I got fingers for weeks now. I've seen 'em in action, I know what they c'n do. I reckon there ain't a whole lot you could tell me 'bout the shit those green buggers pull that I wouldn't believe at this point. You tell me they made it so's you'd know if Ms. Vance died? I'll believe you. I'm okay with that." He wiped his hands ineffectually on his fatigues. "Don't suppose you got any kind of a GPS readout on her out of the deal? Got any kind of a bearing on her position?"
"Uh..." Gordon frowned and closed his eyes. "I'm not sure it works like-"
He stopped, realizing that actually, yes, it did work like that. At least, just for the moment. Gordon suddenly had a very real, very palpable sense of Alyx's presence- tired, hungry, and distant, but real enough. When he opened his eyes again, he was facing more or less southwest, and pointing. "That way," he said. "Hundreds of miles by now. I think."
Shephard grunted. "Y'sure about that?" he said.
"I haven't exactly done this kind of thing before," Gordon felt obliged to point out. "This is as much a guess as anything else."
"No it ain't. You don't guess shit, Freeman, I seen you in action," said Shephard. "I don't have to like you to believe you. You say she's a couple hunnert miles away? I reckon that means that fuckin'-ass boat got herself the fuck back here, 'cause we sure as shit didn't have nothin' at the base could move nowhere near that fast once you'n me took the chopper."
Gordon exhaled, shoulders slumping. "Okay," he said. "So we get back in the-"
"No we do not," said Shephard. "We are not takin' that bird nowhere Ms. Vance might be. Combine already killed everyfuckingthing here tryin' to git at the lot of us. I reckon they ain't figured out where the boat went or they'd be there by now. We go up in that bird-"
"-and they've got an airborne signal flare leading them straight to her location," Gordon finished. "Damn."
"Too right," said Shephard. "We're gon' have to see 'bout findin' any supplies didn't get blown straight to shit, 'n then we got to scuttle that hunk of junk 'fore we head on out. Hope you like walkin', Freeman."
Shephard seemed suspiciously cheerful at the prospect, but Gordon supposed it was better than the alternative.