The air was crisp and light and made it easy to walk although he felt like dragging his feet. The birds were singing and other townspeople he saw on his way to the barracks were so damn happy and greeted him merrily. He yawned. For most of his life (although he enjoyed a good sleep in) he had never had this much trouble getting up to go to work before. It was like he felt like he needed to be elsewhere to do other more important things, but where he wanted to be was home (he didn’t quite know when he had started to call it home but now it felt like no other) and all he had to do there was to be at Deyanira’s side.
It was just so strange; he had never felt like it before. Although he had always had a fierce dedication to his job and the King he served Nathanial also felt what it was like to have other dedications to other things in his life. He had never thought his wife would be one of them. Talk from his parents had always filled him with dread and the girls he had seen in the court hadn’t helped matters either. Even when he had first met her he would have never thought in a million years that he’d want to rush home to her, or to not go into work so he could stay by her side instead.
The barracks was soon in sight and he set his mind to his work instead of his betrothed and wed, the little freckle she had by the knuckle of her wrist and the way he had learned to plait her hair better than she could so he did it for her most days. He had hours of work ahead of him and he was a highly ranked Knight, always to set the example for those new and beneath him. He couldn't slack off now for any reason at all.
Surprisingly though, the morning passed quickly for Nathanial. As soon as he arrived he found five young boys about to start their service as a Knight for the King and most of his morning was filled by getting them equip and then showing them around. From his first few months this had been his job and as his ranks had grown it hadn’t changed. He was such an easy-going and easy-to-understand guy he was good for taking the young new-starters under his wing. He didn’t know how to pay attention to the loud types who only wanted to cause trouble and seek attention which dealt with them perfectly also, soon everyone slunk under his lead and looked up to him for encouragement and praise. After all, if he could deal with Deyanira, Tobias had once pointed out, he could deal with anyone. Nathanial put his old friend out of his mind and returned his thoughts to work; lunch was only an hour away now and it as always a welcome distraction at work. A chance to put things down and just relax.
Lunch was boring when she had no one to share it with. The maid served her a bowl of leek and potato soup, bit of bacon and onion to garnish and freshly baked bread with soft butter spread on it. This had used to be her favourite meal and now she only missed Nathanial sitting beside her and stealing any extra bacon or bread that he could.
In a way Deyanira almost wished there was such a job duchesses and ladies could take. True, there were no rules against her taking on any job she wished which other females were permitted to take, it was simply the problem of those of her social standing were expected to not need to work and most thought that if you didn’t need to work to survive why would anyone really want to?
If she took on a job or even looked for one people would start to talk about how her family must be bankrupt and she would bring shame to both her family and the Veronas. Deyanira sighed a harassed sigh. It was all such a bother. It seemed every direction she wanted to take would only lead into ‘shame being brought upon the family’ for whatever damned reason. Deyanira rose from her seat with a clatter and taking up the last bread role stalked away from the table in the most un-lady-like manner she could muster.
She made her way up to the hidden room and locked the door behind her. She flopped out onto the window seat and stared up at the ceiling wondering what all other duchesses did with their time. Most shopped or gossiped with others or they already had their hands full with children, something Deyanira certainly didn’t even consider to be an option with her time.
Children. They just seemed like they were more trouble than they were worth. She accepted that yes, one day she would have to mother at least one so they could have a heir and once again not bring shame to their families and yet...she just couldn’t see herself as a mother. She flicked her notebook open carelessly, expensive paper scribbled over and wasted during boredom. Nathanial...he’d be a fantastic father one day. But in her imagination the children she saw him with were never hers.
She shoved the small table beside the window away roughly, again in a grump. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had this many mood swings in a single morning. It was only because she had been feeling faint and dizzy for the past few days and the headache that day wasn’t helping. Also, she was so tired...and her stomach had been feeling tender and nauseas...but she hadn’t ever thrown up so it wasn’t like...
She jumped up and practically threw herself out of the room. The maid would be no help but maybe her mother would be. While she’d also be annoying she may also have some cheese. As a child Deyanira had hated cheese with a passion and as she had grown older she hadn’t liked it anymore than she had as a child. But now she had the strangest craving for it.
<--- 02. Dawn ||
04. Afternoon --->