Comments | aciel: Finding the words

aciel

Finding the words

Jul 22, 2006 13:04

I feel very disconnected from other people, lately. Except for those with whom I'm already friends, I'm having trouble finding the words to say. It's as if I suddenly have nothing in common with any stranger anymore, even though it's clear that we all have so much in common ( Read more... )

blacksburg, research, grad school, friends, life

Comments 13

max_j July 22 2006, 17:32:27 UTC

I felt that same sense of disconnection when I came back from my year abroad. Though, I think in my case it had more to do with being away from everyone I knew, and learning and growing independent of all of them, so when I came back I discovered I was a different person. In a good way. But still different, and my previous set of friends didn't know how to act toward me anymore.

Also, I'm glad to hear that your research work looks promising. Summers in the 'burg can be difficult, but if you have something you enjoy doing that should make it all the better.

aciel July 22 2006, 23:19:31 UTC

It's not the people who are already my friends who trouble me, though; it's those that I would be friends with, if I could manage to get through a conversation. =/

leastlikely July 22 2006, 17:48:24 UTC

I'm gonna be in Blacksburg the week starting August 6. We should hang out or something. :)

aciel July 22 2006, 23:20:06 UTC

Definitely. I'm not sure when I leave--whenever the summer session ends, I guess. Gotta get those wisdom teeth out. But yes, I was thinking about you just today and wondering what you were up to. =)

leastlikely July 23 2006, 04:59:53 UTC

I'm pretty sure the week I'm visiting is the last week of classes.

seeliespright July 23 2006, 01:30:42 UTC

Sorry you're feeling disconnected. :/ I go through phases of disconnect and connect, usually with friends and strangers at the same time, however.

I hope you're able to work things out...

... and enjoy the PhD. student in the meantime.

bcmorris July 23 2006, 14:53:30 UTC

I've been feeling kind of disconnected as well. I just moved into my new townhouse so I'll be around for the rest of the summer if you want to hang out. I get really bored some days as well, so we can sit around being bored and feeling disconnected together...yay!

greengables82 July 23 2006, 17:19:07 UTC

Hi, there. Thanks for your nice comment on my blog last week! Regarding the disconnect issue, I feel exactly the same way some (most) of the time. Really focusing on something like work usually helps. I really think that the twenties (though maybe all of life) are particularly weird from a disconnection perspective. At our age, life seems to be divided into these separate periods or phases that have little to do with each other (i.e. high school, college, different summer programs every year, different dorms and apartments, different relationships, etc.) , and it's sometimes hard not to feel disconnected when all of your friends from different phases are living in multiple different places, and you're constantly moving from one job, activity, or school phase to another and meeting new people along the way. It's really hard, sometimes, to incorporate everything and everyone, and all the parts and "phases" of yourself, into a cohesive whole. I hope that this process gets easier over time (especially as you get a steady job and start ( ... )

aciel July 23 2006, 22:46:22 UTC

I figure more people are going through it--it's just that most people I've run into here in Blacksburg don't seem to be the types to notice it.

But, that's most people anywhere. I'm very picky about who I hang out with, and I guess I may be putting some of the disconnect there myself without really realizing I'm doing it.

greengables82 July 25 2006, 18:07:34 UTC

I figure more people are going through it--it's just that most people I've run into here in Blacksburg don't seem to be the types to notice it.
Or maybe they're not the types to talk about it if they do notice it -- and it doesn't seem like you expect much of these people, so why should they open up to you about their various levels of depression and feelings of isolation?

I can think of maybe a handful of people who haven't felt some level of (what you're calling) "disconnect" in their post-college mid-20s. And I'm probably wrong to think of even those people as being "connected," they may have just hidden it from me (by not talking about it and/or by putting up a good front). I don't know if that would be reassuring to you or not -- knowing that just about everyone your age feels the same way -- but nevertheless I think it's true, for whatever you think that's worth.

I do know this: even in Blacksburg, wherever the heck that is, there'll be good people who you don't know but whom you would benefit from knowing.

--Robert Machemer