Strength and Remorse (1/?)

[achelle1317]

Title: Strength and Remorse
Author: Achelle
Category: Books, FanFiction - Twilight
Rated: NC-17 or MA
Genre: Romance, angst, smut, Pre-Twilight/Midnight Sun
Status: In Progress
Characters/Pairings: Emmett/Rosalie Canon Pairings
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, and its characters, or plot. The characters, books, and plot are property of Stephenie Meyer. I make no money from writing this. I just love Twilight.
Warnings: Rated NC-17/MA for a reason. Some chapters may contain adult language, violence, assault, and sexual content. Lemons in future chapters
Summary: In Vanity and Patience, Rosalie's patience and pride are tested, as she is forced to endure Emmett's struggle for control as a blood-thirsty newborn and wait for him to notice her. Emmett enjoys his newborn strength and abilities, but is faced with the first-time feeling of remorse for his uncontrollable acts of violence and cold indifference while blinded by bloodlust. Can he control his thirst enough to recognize his soulmate in his beautiful angel before it's too late? 
This is a collection of sideshots to my fic,  Vanity and Patience. All Chapters are Emmett's POV.

AUTHOR'S CHAPTER NOTES:

Chapter Specific Warning: Sexual content in this chapter. It ends with a lemon. You’ve been warned. Read at your own risk..

Big thanks to my beta, Lisa aka cfmom, who totally rocks. This story would not be what it is without her.

Playlist:

• Inner Circle - Bad Boys
• Dr Dre - Xxplosive
• Tim McGraw - Real Good Man
• Akinele - Put It In Your Mouth

“I’d had a little too much fun in my twenty human years, so I wasn’t surprised by the fires of hell.”

-Emmett, on changing into a vampire, from the Twilight Outtake “Emmett and the Bear” by Stephenie Meyer

Chapter 1: Bad Boy

September 3, 1935. The sound of the jazz band filled the smoky room buzzing with people and lively with laughter. I sat at the bar of the local speakeasy just two towns outside my hometown of Gatlinburg, bumping gums with the bartender without a care in the world, or at least I was trying to look that way.

A few feet away from me, surrounded by a crowd, stood my best friend Oscar. He was being loud and obnoxious, his usual drunken mess, while my other childhood friend Daniel stood at his side. I still had a ways to go with my glass of hooch to even get to their state of craziness, but it was all part of a plan.

Turning back to him from taking a glance at my buddies, I grinned at the bartender. To him, I was just there to blow off steam from my tedious job as a manager for a local lumber camp.

“So you’ve been promoted to the lead lumberjack, huh?” Scottie, the bartender asked, jokingly.

I chuckled in response. “I manage them now, if that’s what you mean.” It had been quite some time since I’d run into Scottie.

“Actually, you do smell like cedar chips,” he laughed.

I snorted. “I’m not surprised by that at all,” I nodded. “With all these cabins they’re building, cedar is high demand.”

“Ah, yes, and therefore you must supply it,” Scottie replied as I took a sip of whiskey.

I pointed at him with my hand like I was shooting a pistol. “Exactly.” I took another sip and passed it back to him for a refill. “Can’t be too mad, I guess. Least I’ve got a job.”

“That’s true,” Scottie nodded, pouring some mule in a long strand into my glass. It was no secret that the United States was under strenuous economic times.

“Emmett McCarty,” I heard a deep sultry voice purr from behind me. I spun around on my stool to see the prettiest dame around. She had blonde curls rolled into a stylish low bun, big blue eyes, and red stained lips stretched in a provocative smile as she stared at me. She was a high-class pro-skirt that reeked of cheap booze and cigarette smoke, but the man in me could not deny she was quite the looker.

“Miss Jeanine,” I greeted, nodding as I smiled. My thoughts ran quickly to the last time I saw her almost two years ago. We were caught necking while parked in an alley not too far from here by a copper. I’d known her even before she became a call girl, as we had attended the same high school. She graduated the year before I did. The Great Depression had hit her family hard, causing them to lose the house and all things precious to them. With the sudden death of her parents shortly after, she and her siblings now lived with their grandparents. As a result, it was left to her to provide for her family in any way that she could. She quit letting it bother her a long time ago. Food was more important than pride.

“Hey there, kitten.” I winked at her and she winked back, a greeting we used to give each other all the time when I frequented this particular spot a few years back.

“Fancy meeting you here,” She held a cigarette in one hand, blowing smoke up to the ceiling before looking back down to meet my eyes. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“That it has,” I agreed. I tried my best to keep my eyes from stealing a look at her long luscious gams, but her all too revealing, short, shiny, red dress left me with little else to concentrate on. “A long while,” I muttered, letting the word long exaggerate as my eyes followed the curve down her thighs and around her calves to her slick high heels.

She smirked, her demeanor as smug as can be at my appreciative gaze upon her body.

A group of lovely ladies walked by-a couple of which I was quite familiar with. “Hi, Emmett,” they all said in unison, and I raised my hand to do a small wiggle of my fingers.

“Ladies,” I nodded, giving them a cheeky grin.

“Well aren’t we a ladies’ man,” Jeanine muttered, with a slight bite to her tone. She had turned to look at who said hello, moving closer to me as I sat wide-legged on my stool. She took a possessive step forward, positioning her body between my knees.

“Who? Me? Nah,” I smiled. “Never seen them before in my life.”

She snorted in response, leaning into me so she could rest her free hand on the bar, taking another hit of her cigarette.

I wasn’t too sure why I was flirting with her so much. It had been too long since I’d last seen her that I seemed to enjoy her attention a little too much.

“So did I hear right?” she asked as she blew the smoke out of her mouth. “They got you running the lumberjacks now? Working them overtime and all?”

“I run the show, but I don’t overwork my men. I mean, I run a tight ship, sure, but I’d like to think I’m a nice boss, too,” I answered, smiling.

“You keep something tight all right,” she mumbled to me.

My cock twitched against my leg as my smile cracked from ear to ear.

“You’ve obviously come a long way since Gatlinburg Pittman High,” she commented.

I noted a bit of melancholy in her tone, so I decided to make her feel better by telling her the truth. “Well, you’re just as pretty as you were as a cheerleader,” I offered, taking a soft swipe with my fingers along her chin. “Probably even more so than ever.”

She grinned back at me, her spirits lifted.

“Oh, hey there Jeanine," Daniel slurred, as he stumbled up to the bar, completely lit. “Did ya hear? My man over here won himself a nice little ride last night.”

“Oh did he?” she inquired, her eyes never leaving mine. She lifted her hand up from the bar to finger the collar of my shirt.

“Yep, seems McCarty here has quite a lead foot. Won that street rod race last week, and the pink slip to Madden’s 1930 Ford Tudor.”

I shook my head at Daniel, my eyes switching to him for a moment. God, why does he have to do that all the time? Not that I wasn’t proud of my winnings, but I didn’t really want to flaunt it too much. As much as I won that race fair and square, I knew Lloyd Madden was still livid about it. I loved a fight more than the average Joe, but we still had a task to pull off, and Madden’s friends were everywhere in this bar tonight.

“Wow, Emmett,” she gushed, placing her palm on me, running it up and down on my chest. “I’m impressed.”

“Eh, it was nothin’,” I chuckled.

Offering me her cigarette, I gladly took a drag, blowing the smoke out the side of my mouth. My eyes didn’t leave hers as I did this.

Daniel quickly caught on from that action that he was definitely intruding in a party for two. “Well, I’m gonna go mingle with the dames,” Daniel excused himself, before subtly slipping something into my coat pocket. “Nice seeing you again, Miss Jeanine,” he said.

I stared back at him as I discreetly stuck my hand in my pocket and felt a bag of a familiar texture with my fingers.

“Muggles,” Daniel mouthed to me before he turned away towards the crowd again.

I nodded once in comprehension. Last night before the race, we had at the public house where I played their roll. I made a comedic act for the crowd, while Daniel pick-pocketed a dealer out of a stash of marijuana. Daniel was just giving me my portion of the “winnings.”

Focusing back on the beautiful Sheba that was still rubbing my chest, I smiled ruefully. “Look, Miss Jeanine. I have to apologize. I’m not really here for… that.”

“Oh, but Emmett, I’ve missed our times together,” she murmured, raising a seductive eyebrow at me.

Her statement went straight to my cock as I felt it twitch once again and grow just a bit against my thigh. I had forgotten she had quite a crush on me. “Uh… you sure are lovely-you know that- but I’m here on other business.”

“This is business,” she purred, her hands rubbing lower down my abdomen.

I took her wrists and pulled them away, shaking my head at her. This woman could not distract me tonight.

“Ugh, McCarty, I cannot believe you’re blowing me off by not accepting my offer” she hissed slapping me playfully at my shoulder.

“Hey now!” I exclaimed, chuckling and rubbing my shoulder. I leaned in, lowering my voice, and then replied “And if I remember correctly, you, my darling, are the one who’s best at blowing me off.”

Pursing her lips into a closed half smile, she nodded in agreement. “You’re right about that.” She cocked her head to the side, narrowing her eyes as she examined my face, trying to find my bluff. She let out a sigh at no success. “Well, as long as you never forgot.”

I laughed nervously. “I don’t think I’d ever forget,” I nearly growled into her ear.

She responded with a satisfied grin. “Maybe next time then,” she said, and I seemed to note a touch of disappointment in her voice.

All I could do was smile back before she disappeared into the smoky crowd. I couldn’t promise her anything. I couldn’t even promise anything to my friend and current necking partner, Betty. There was nothing more I could promise a woman, other than today. I still had yet to meet what everyone called “the one”-that special one that both Mom and Nana told me would have me thinking about the future and a family. I was in no hurry to find her either; I was just happy to have fun and live in the moment.

Focusing on the task at hand, I saw a growing crowd around Oscar and Daniel as they spouted jokes and told the best nonsensical stories. The bartenders were beginning to pay attention to them, and my bartender had already drifted away while I spoke to Miss Jeanine. That was my cue.

It’s show time.

Squatting lower than the height of the bar, I snuck behind it. Spotting what I wanted, I grabbed four small bottles of the rarest and finest brand of moonshine and shoved them quickly into several pockets of my jacket before backing on up to step out of the bar.

I felt a barrier suddenly hindering my track, startling me. When I looked over my shoulder, I saw two legs blocking my path. As I further turned my gaze upwards, I cursed as I recognized the man in blue.

Oh, shit.

“Chief Bland,” I laughed apprehensively, trying to disguise my guilt. It was the Sevier County chief of police . The town was small enough that most folks knew each other.

“Emmett McCarty?” he said looking shocked. “I wouldn’t figure you to be a regular here.”

Oh so little does he know about me. “Yep, just dropped my… glasses, so I was trying to look for them.”

“Glasses, huh?” he raised a questionable eyebrow at me.

“Uh, yeah, they’re new,” I replied.

“Sure they are,” another deep voice chimed in with a chuckle. It belonged to yet another copper, but this one had been undercover; sitting among the people at the bar. “So who should we get first, the kid, or the whole bar?”

What did he just say? I stood up, alarmed. Holy shit, they were going to shut down the speakeasy. Though the Prohibition Act was lifted a couple of years ago, this particular speakeasy still sold some illegal liquors and unlawful homemade beers.

I was grateful that Daniel and Oscar chose that moment to shove each other into some of the crowd that had gathered around them. It didn’t take much for this crowd to start a bar brawl, and the chaos was exactly the distraction I needed to make my escape. After getting the crowd going, Daniel and Oscar chose to exit through the back door, while I side stepped the coppers that were no longer paying attention to me. That momentary lapse in their attention was all the opportunity I needed, but it was short lived as I heard them calling after me as soon I passed through the doorway. I laughed at them as I began to run. This was the fun part.

Daniel and Oscar met me a few blocks over, and we realized that we were being pursued. Again, we all took off in a concerted effort to avoid a trip in the paddy wagon.

We were running for our lives and laughing. No matter how fucked up our situation was, we always seemed to find the entertainment value in it-or at least I usually did. Approaching an intersection, I turned to my friends. “Guys, we’re going to have to split up so we can confuse them,” I spouted through panting breaths.

“Good idea, I’ll see you later, hopefully,” Oscar said.

“Damn, this is a waste of a night,” Daniel whined. “If I get arrested again…”

“Quit worrying, Dan, Jesus,” I insisted. “Just have fun with it.” I patted him on the back in a reassuring manner. “Good luck, guys.” And then we split went our separate ways. I went left, while Oscar took the route straight ahead, and Daniel sprinted towards the right. I heard running behind me, and as I checked over my shoulder, I recognized the brown civilian suit following me. This copper was more persistent than most I’d encountered in my previous deviations from the lawful side of society.

With the undercover copper heavy on my tail, I ran as fast as I could, dodging around a corner before he could see. I slipped into an alley, hoping he’d pass me by.

I hid behind a dumpster that was an obvious hiding place, but my only option. The suspense was exhilarating, my heart was pounding loudly, and the adrenaline was pumping freely into my arteries. Moments like these were worth cherishing. Every bit of my life was fun and exciting, and I had to laugh at the situation even though most people would be a little more concerned if they were in my current predicament.

I heard footsteps coming my way and I knew this was it. The copper was going to nail me for stealing some moonshine, and possession of marijuana. I hid the bottles and the stash further by stuffing them into the pockets of my trousers, hoping they wouldn’t find them so easily. My heart accelerated and was now beating a mile a minute. I couldn’t see a possible way out of this, but I didn’t move a muscle anyway. Maybe Lady Luck would grant me a boon tonight. The ladies were typically sweet on me, perhaps Lady Luck found me charming enough to help me out of this little mess. I decided to move just enough to peek around the edge of the dumpster to see how close the copper was to my hiding place.

A figure loomed from the street, appearing through the fog as it walked my way… and, to my surprise, there she was.

It wasn’t the copper at all. A 5’7” delicate chassis of a dame was walking towards me, swinging her hips as she made her way closer to me.

“Jeanine??” I called out, bewildered, as my eyes adjusted to the dim light and swirling fog.

“I saw you run over here,” she said, her face now coming into the light of the nearby lamppost. “What are you doing?”

I sighed in relief, but was shocked and dumbfounded that it was her. “I… uh-“

“Running from the cops I see?” she smirked, swinging a fur tail from her coat around in a circle seductively.

“Basically,” I admitted, a bit ashamed.

“Naughty boy,” she murmured, inching her way over to me, opening her coat so that her dress and my clothes were the only thing between us as her body lightly grazed against mine.

I bit back a growl as I immediately felt her nipples through the thin material of her dress and brassiere brush against my chest. I stepped back, a bit excited by this sudden move, but also aware that the coppers wouldn’t so easily give up on their pursuit of me and my friends.

“Relax, honey. They’re long gone,” Jeanine purred, pressing herself against me as I backed up into the brick wall of the building. Her hand slid from my chest down to my crotch and rubbed my now throbbing, swollen member. “The other guys are actually with my friends.”

I knew what she meant with that statement. Oscar and Daniel had been able to evade the cops and hook up with some pro-skirts. I had never been so bold as to go completely all the way with these skirts like they did. First, I was never too sure where they’ve been; and second, my Nana’s Christian upbringing managed to keep me an almost virtuous man; rather uncharacteristic for a man of twenty years, but my respect for my Nana went deeper than my sexual urges.

Though technically I was still a virgin, that didn’t mean I couldn’t be a necking bandit. In fact, at seventeen, Jeanine was my first ever encounter to anything close to sexual, but I necked quite frequently with many other dames since. Recently, there had only been one girl at the moment, but not by choice, as it all was just circumstantially convenient.

“Uh… Miss Jeanine…” I gasped, as my breath hitched from the sensation of her hands on me, “I uh… don’t… have any money.” The friction of her hand running up and down my length through my slacks was warm and enticing, and my hips involuntarily thrusted forward to the rhythm.

She licked and kissed on my neck and behind my ear before she began to whisper into it. “Oh baby, don’t worry,” she said softly, “This one is on the house.”

My mind ran immediately to Betty, and I felt horrible that I would think of her in this moment. She wasn’t my girlfriend at all, but only my secret necking partner for the past year. It was only recently that I realized that continuing to neck with Betty was eventually going to hurt her, as she would be expecting it to lead somewhere. Betty was, for the most part, a nice girl, and she was leaning towards looking for a man to settle down with. The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt a woman’s feelings, because I knew I’d regret what I did, and I’d be damned if I everdid anything I would regret. We had spent most of last Saturday night petting heavily in the back of my truck, and the look in her eyes when I pulled away before taking her home let me know I should end it soon.

Meanwhile, this dame in front of me was pawing viciously at my pants, eager to get them off as she knelt down on the cold cement.

Holy hell and all devils in it!

It’d been close to a good two years since I’d seen this woman, yet we were still so comfortable around each other. All of this was too familiar. In fact, I couldn’t stop from grinning from ear to ear. I tried to be as gentlemanly as I could as I let my coat fall to the ground so she could use it to support her knees, but unlike previous years, I had mixed feelings at this point.

Considering I had no commitment to Betty, I shouldn’t feel guilty, yet I couldn’t deny the feeling crawling up my chest even as I tried to focus on the dame on her knees in front of me. I then felt the constricted area of my pants loosen, and a draft of the cold foggy weather on my groin; I knew at that moment, that I was lost. Though Betty and I necked frequently, I could never get her to put her mouth where I wanted it most…

Jeanine’s warm, eager hands clutched at my shaft for a moment so she could guide me to her lips, and a shudder ran through my body in response.

I was powerless to speak up… to stop what was about to happen, and I didn’t want to anyway.

I whimpered as I entered past her lips and her mouth closed over me. I felt her lips take a firm grip on my shaft, slowly pulling back and forth along what she could fit of its length in her mouth. I shivered, my heart pounding as wildly as when the coppers were chasing me. This, however, was a different kind of adrenaline distributed through my body, and I positively reveled in the feeling.

Bracing myself, I began to pant as I felt her move her head up and down, my length plunging in and out of her mouth.

Her mouth. Warm. Wet. Tight. And Sucking. My cock.

“Fuck,” I moaned, unable to control myself.

She let out a low chuckle against my manhood; her voice vibrating against me and making everything feel like heaven. Her tongue ran smoothly along my shaft and swirled around my tip, and I positively gasped for air as she did so.

Finding an iron post from the fire escape above me, my hand latched on. The sensation of her warm, wet lips pushing and pulling at my all too sensitive skin imprisoned my thoughts. She sucked on me with such expertise that if I didn’t enjoy it so much, it would scare me away.

My abdominal muscles began to tighten and my hand gripped the iron post tightly. The other hand searched for her head, through her hair, guiding her scalp back and forth faster and faster. I hissed and breathed harder through my teeth, nearing release, the sensation of her soft mouth driving me insane.

“Fuck, I’m gonna… I’m gonna….”

And there it was.

“Oh…Fuck!!”

I spilled my seed down her throat, my hips bucking several times as she clasped my ass cheek with her fingers, nails poking into my skin, making sure she got every last drop with her tongue. I hissed in pleasure at the feeling.

She calmly stood up from her knees, licking her lips, as I quickly zipped up my pants and fastened my belt back on. “Thanks, sugar. That sure was sweet,” she mumbled softly, but something wasn’t right. It sounded forced, like it was rehearsed. Though she smiled at me, it didn’t reach her eyes.

I suddenly felt a slight pang of guilt. “No, kitten… “ I insisted between huffs for more oxygen, feeling pity on her. Her life was probably a lonely mess, never being the one that a man came home to; just the one he ran in secret with. “Thank you.” I kissed her on her cheek, still quivering breathlessly from the aftermath of my release. She bid me good night, averting her eyes from me and then watched her walk away.

She was an intelligent creature. She knew nothing could ever happen between her and her clients except business. I was never one to lead a woman on, as I was always brutally honest and straightforward with what I wanted with her as well as with every other woman I’d ever known. She knew not to linger after such actions-always knew when to pull away-but her face showed me that she found it hard to walk away from me.

I let my head fall back against the brick wall and I leaned my body against its cold hard surface, shutting my eyes as I tried to catch my breath. I knew all the fun that I had wasn’t always good in the eyes of the church, and one day it was going to catch up with me. I frowned.

Somewhere, Nana was rolling over in her grave.

“Oh well,” I breathed to myself, picking up my now damp jacket from the wet concrete and readjusting my cap before heading to my new hotrod a couple of blocks over.

During my drive home, I shrugged the whole circumstance off. It was all I could do.

Author's End Notes:

Please don’t kill me for letting that happen. You must realize this is BEFORE he ever meets Rosalie, and I don’t imagine him to be “without” experience when they meet. Tune in next time, where we meet his family, and we reveal how he met Betty, and what role she plays in his life. It may also reveal why he ends up camping alone for the bear to find him. You just never know.

Thank you to Paige, aka WndrngY, author of Never Sleep in a Strange Man’s Bed, for letting me use her southern quote “Holly hell and all devils in it!” I think I found a fitting spot for it!

Please note: Updates for this fic will be slow, since V&P is my biggest priority. I guestimate about 3-4 weeks per update so please sit tight.

1930’s Vocabulary:

So I’ve been doing research on 30’s slang, and I truly believe that Emmett would be sporting the latest trends in men’s fashion, as well as in speech, so here’s a list if you guys didn’t get it

• Speakeasy - underground bar disguised as something else or hidden behind an unmarked door
• Moonshine - whiskey
• Bumping Gums - talking it up
• Lit -drunk
• Hooch - Booze
• Skirt/Dame/Broad - woman
• Pro-skirt - high-class call girl
• Gams - legs
• Muggles - Marijuana
• Pinks - ownership papers/deeds/titles
• Copper - a cop, policeman
• Chassis - a woman’s figure
• Sheba - seductive woman
• To blow someone off - to cool down or release one’s steam by giving a blow job

Please review and let me know what you think, as each review feed my creative soul, and inspires me to keep writing.

And if you like the story and want to discuss that or anything further, please come by and play on the Vanity and Patience Thread on the Twilighted.net Forum.