Sanctuary Review Fata Morgana Part 1
For sanctuary_cafe
Since the "first" ep of Sanctuary is really two eps jammed together, we move right along to S01E3, Fata Morgana! This time around I'll cut down on my first impressions, but I'll still have writing comments as well as set and filming opinions. However, from here on out my reviews will include a special feature: What Nikola Tesla Would Have Done Had He Been in This Ep, also What Nikola Tesla Would Have Done Had He Been in Helen's Position. I get antsy watching Niko-less eps, which leads me to taking breaks wherein I watch one of the 34,789,103 Niko music vids on YT. So hopefully this feature will keep me more focused. Hey, look! There's a vid with - oh, sorry, focus. Right.
S01E03 Fata Morgana
Teaser:
Establishing shot - "Island in the middle of nowhere" - night
We open on Will's first mission, with Helen telling Will to stop running his mouth. Big day! Too bad he's not high enough on the corporate ladder yet to carry a gun. ATM, they're at "a crypt containing an elixir capable of prolonging life for centuries." Bit of an on-the-nose description from Helen, but it gets us into the plot fast.
Yeah, Will, we totes believe you still don't know why you're here.
Some wicked-looking critters guard the place. Got my attention. Will looks appropriately shocked. This is his first mission, after all.
What big teeth you have
OMGWTFBBQ! It is at this moment that Will wonders if leaving the employ of the police, where he could have retired after 20 years of service, was such a wise career move.
Apparently Helen and Ash have teamwork issues, because they actually have a hand signal for "we work together or we die."
{Right, now, IF NIKO WERE HERE... He'd be- hitting on Helen, commenting how hawt she looks with a gun.
Then he'd be belittling Will - for being a n00b - and Ash - for having a deathwish.
Then he'd stroll in, flick out his claws, and dice some Crypt Keepers.
All without getting a speck on his Armani.}
Ash kicks butt while Will goes to draw them away. Will doesn't get far.
Eat your heart out, Lara Croft.
The girls hold off the critters (the Magnuses have the unlimited ammo cheat, I think) while Will checks out the crypt.
Like mother, like daughter.
Slooowly checks out the crypt to the sound of gunfire.
No rush, Will. Your comrades aren't being attacked by monsters or anything.
It's like the Dollhouse sleep room!
And just like that, this crypt holds very lovely young people who are most certainly not dead.
Hai, Echo!
Aaaand we're at the opening! Good out!
Act 1
Establishing shot - the Sanctuary - night
Ash is waltzing off to bag and tag some chameleon critter. She'll use the Patented Magnus Charm. Oh, could this be our B storyline?
The Mossberg: Weapon choice of ambassadors of humanity everywhere!
We've brought the three gals back from the crypt and are now giving them blue Cool Aid to wake them up. We're also saving time and money with the set and filming by conducting an autopsy in the same room.
Helen's from the 1800s. Of course she thinks this is kosher.
Will doesn't want to help, for some strange reason. Uhg, slimy. He's a shrink, not a pathologist, though, so that's fine.
This is why we don't shower in HCl, kids!
But hot damn, he has a lab coat! Which reminds us that HE IS A DR. One of the Weird Sisters has awoken! It's aliiiiive! I like how the writers do Will's interactions with the abnormals. Very shrink-like. He's calm, supportive, not hitting on her- Seems girly is from a time before Edison and Tesla's scene, since she doesn't understand lightbulbs. Apparently she comes from a time when "miasmas" killed off her village in 800AD.
"Hi, I'm Will. We just hauled you out of a crypt."
{Niko would be in the library, drinking wine.
Or maybe bugging Henry by calling him Tiny Tim.
Or hitting on Helen. After he got bored, he might go hit on the gals.}
SCULLY! Sorry, just had X Files flashbacks. Will reports on the gals. Now, I was all ready to slam the writers for making the girl speak modern English (later explained by them having a very fast ability to adapt to dialects). But Will cuts me off by explaining that: She must be a crazy girl who just thinks she's from 800AD! ILU, Will! Helen isn't so sure. She's Mulder to his Scully.
Ignore the particle accelerator in the background. Tesla got bored one night and, well, things happen.
Lunch?
No thanks!
Oh! Oh! The Cabal! Turns out they consider the gals to be their property. ATM we don't know anything about these guys, but you can tell by their gear that they're bad news. Good casting, btw. And note the RING.
Hunting the Morgana. There's an app for that.
Checking his texts...
Hey, I think that was our 10:20-13:45 Out! Not bad at all. Would certainly make me wanna keep watching.
Act 2
Crashley! With her Charm Attack! Oooh, Charm Attack...
Love ya, sg4ever!
Sorry! Sorry! Won't happen again, I promise. Anyway, she kicks some chameleon butt.
Ever subtle.
I can't tell if that's practical or a CGI effect. Nice.
Will's hanging with the Dixie Chicks. Everyone's gawking at each other's hawtness. Will's doing so under the guise of telling them they have PTSD and are, basically, all nutso. Gotta love that, having some dude you don't know say your memories are BS.
$60 an hour, girls. Talk fast.
Turns out Helen's found some stasis chemicals in the green goo that the gals were in.
We've just revived 3 girls and we have no idea what they are. But the good news is, I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance!
{Niko would be plotting how he could use this goo to help his plans for world domination}
Back to Will, who's hypnotizing the gals to remember their past. Not fun, turns out.
Black Oil is never fun.
Oh snap, these chicks really are from the middle ages. We kinda already believe them at this point, since the Cabal is interested. Simultaneously, Helen finds rings on the gals. She figures it's from some sort of group. Spidey Senses tell her it's bad news.
{Niko would be...getting Helen to help fight the Cabal, who he's pissed off, so no change here.}
The Cabal is on its way...
I'll take some fries with that order of 500 burgers for the monsters in the back of the truck.
Aaaaand we're out. Ok out, I guess.
Go on to the next part!
Since the "first" ep of Sanctuary is really two eps jammed together, we move right along to S01E3, Fata Morgana! This time around I'll cut down on my first impressions, but I'll still have writing comments as well as set and filming opinions. However, from here on out my reviews will include a special feature: What Nikola Tesla Would Have Done Had He Been in This Ep, also What Nikola Tesla Would Have Done Had He Been in Helen's Position. I get antsy watching Niko-less eps, which leads me to taking breaks wherein I watch one of the 34,789,103 Niko music vids on YT. So hopefully this feature will keep me more focused. Hey, look! There's a vid with - oh, sorry, focus. Right.
S01E03 Fata Morgana
Teaser:
Establishing shot - "Island in the middle of nowhere" - night
We open on Will's first mission, with Helen telling Will to stop running his mouth. Big day! Too bad he's not high enough on the corporate ladder yet to carry a gun. ATM, they're at "a crypt containing an elixir capable of prolonging life for centuries." Bit of an on-the-nose description from Helen, but it gets us into the plot fast.
Yeah, Will, we totes believe you still don't know why you're here.
Some wicked-looking critters guard the place. Got my attention. Will looks appropriately shocked. This is his first mission, after all.
What big teeth you have
OMGWTFBBQ! It is at this moment that Will wonders if leaving the employ of the police, where he could have retired after 20 years of service, was such a wise career move.
Apparently Helen and Ash have teamwork issues, because they actually have a hand signal for "we work together or we die."
{Right, now, IF NIKO WERE HERE... He'd be- hitting on Helen, commenting how hawt she looks with a gun.
Then he'd be belittling Will - for being a n00b - and Ash - for having a deathwish.
Then he'd stroll in, flick out his claws, and dice some Crypt Keepers.
All without getting a speck on his Armani.}
Ash kicks butt while Will goes to draw them away. Will doesn't get far.
Eat your heart out, Lara Croft.
The girls hold off the critters (the Magnuses have the unlimited ammo cheat, I think) while Will checks out the crypt.
Like mother, like daughter.
Slooowly checks out the crypt to the sound of gunfire.
No rush, Will. Your comrades aren't being attacked by monsters or anything.
It's like the Dollhouse sleep room!
And just like that, this crypt holds very lovely young people who are most certainly not dead.
Hai, Echo!
Aaaand we're at the opening! Good out!
Act 1
Establishing shot - the Sanctuary - night
Ash is waltzing off to bag and tag some chameleon critter. She'll use the Patented Magnus Charm. Oh, could this be our B storyline?
The Mossberg: Weapon choice of ambassadors of humanity everywhere!
We've brought the three gals back from the crypt and are now giving them blue Cool Aid to wake them up. We're also saving time and money with the set and filming by conducting an autopsy in the same room.
Helen's from the 1800s. Of course she thinks this is kosher.
Will doesn't want to help, for some strange reason. Uhg, slimy. He's a shrink, not a pathologist, though, so that's fine.
This is why we don't shower in HCl, kids!
But hot damn, he has a lab coat! Which reminds us that HE IS A DR. One of the Weird Sisters has awoken! It's aliiiiive! I like how the writers do Will's interactions with the abnormals. Very shrink-like. He's calm, supportive, not hitting on her- Seems girly is from a time before Edison and Tesla's scene, since she doesn't understand lightbulbs. Apparently she comes from a time when "miasmas" killed off her village in 800AD.
"Hi, I'm Will. We just hauled you out of a crypt."
{Niko would be in the library, drinking wine.
Or maybe bugging Henry by calling him Tiny Tim.
Or hitting on Helen. After he got bored, he might go hit on the gals.}
SCULLY! Sorry, just had X Files flashbacks. Will reports on the gals. Now, I was all ready to slam the writers for making the girl speak modern English (later explained by them having a very fast ability to adapt to dialects). But Will cuts me off by explaining that: She must be a crazy girl who just thinks she's from 800AD! ILU, Will! Helen isn't so sure. She's Mulder to his Scully.
Ignore the particle accelerator in the background. Tesla got bored one night and, well, things happen.
Lunch?
No thanks!
Oh! Oh! The Cabal! Turns out they consider the gals to be their property. ATM we don't know anything about these guys, but you can tell by their gear that they're bad news. Good casting, btw. And note the RING.
Hunting the Morgana. There's an app for that.
Checking his texts...
Hey, I think that was our 10:20-13:45 Out! Not bad at all. Would certainly make me wanna keep watching.
Act 2
Crashley! With her Charm Attack! Oooh, Charm Attack...
Click to viewLove ya, sg4ever!
Sorry! Sorry! Won't happen again, I promise. Anyway, she kicks some chameleon butt.
Ever subtle.
I can't tell if that's practical or a CGI effect. Nice.
Will's hanging with the Dixie Chicks. Everyone's gawking at each other's hawtness. Will's doing so under the guise of telling them they have PTSD and are, basically, all nutso. Gotta love that, having some dude you don't know say your memories are BS.
$60 an hour, girls. Talk fast.
Turns out Helen's found some stasis chemicals in the green goo that the gals were in.
We've just revived 3 girls and we have no idea what they are. But the good news is, I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance!
{Niko would be plotting how he could use this goo to help his plans for world domination}
Back to Will, who's hypnotizing the gals to remember their past. Not fun, turns out.
Black Oil is never fun.
Oh snap, these chicks really are from the middle ages. We kinda already believe them at this point, since the Cabal is interested. Simultaneously, Helen finds rings on the gals. She figures it's from some sort of group. Spidey Senses tell her it's bad news.
{Niko would be...getting Helen to help fight the Cabal, who he's pissed off, so no change here.}
The Cabal is on its way...
I'll take some fries with that order of 500 burgers for the monsters in the back of the truck.
Aaaaand we're out. Ok out, I guess.
Go on to the next part!