Home for the Holidays Part 3/4
Part Three
After a few minutes Blaine was still on the floor, but lost in thought with his head resting on his knees. He knew that Kurt could only be so hurtful when he was desperately hurting himself. It broke Blaine's heart that he could be the cause of so much pain that Kurt would react as if he was in actual danger. He really should just find somewhere else to go and let Kurt enjoy his time at home.
Blaine's thoughts were interrupted by a hand resting very lightly on his shoulder, a hand he knew well.
"Can I talk to you?" Kurt asked while dropping gracefully to the carpet next to Blaine. His first thought was that Kurt must really be serious if he's willing to sit on the floor in Dior pants. "Go ahead," he said trying not to choke on his words.
"First I want to apologize. I was mean, selfish, and unfair. I don't want to be that person, even to you. Especially to you. I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you since I came home," Kurt said.
Blaine looked up at him, his eyes wide. He hadn't really expected this, not so soon at least.
"Kurt, thank you. I'm so sorry that this is difficult for you. I didn't know where else to go," Blaine said, hoping that Kurt could tell how much he meant it.
"Will you explain it to me? What happened with your family? I'd like to hear it from you. I'm ready to listen now," Kurt said, dropping the hand that was on Blaine's shoulder into the space between them.
Blaine took a deep breath and started to talk, "When senior year started things with my dad just kept getting worse. I think that he'd always thought me being gay was some type of rebellion or phase that I would grow out of. He started to see that wasn't going to happen and got angry."
Kurt just nodded, so he took that as a cue to keep going, "I would rather not get into the details of the fight we had that night, it was nothing different than before. It just got out of hand." There was no way he was ready to tell Kurt that he had been one of the topics of the fight.
"I told him that I wasn't going to change who I was because of his homophobia. I suggested he come to a PFLAG meeting. He laughed in my face and told me I better get myself together and think about my future. I pointed out that my college money was in a trust and he couldn't do anything about it, " Blaine said.
He couldn't look at Kurt during the next part so he just closed his eyes and went on. "My father shoved me and I shoved back. I didn't even see the punch coming. I was on the ground with my face throbbing and he told me to get out and not come back. So I did," he said.
Long arms wrapped around him and helped him sit up on the couch, "I don't want to see you hurting on the floor ever again, sweetheart."
Blaine whimpered a little at the endearment, and leaned towards Kurt. When he looked up he could tell that Kurt was embarrassed about letting it slip, but he also had tears running down his face.
"Blaine, I'm so sorry. I had no idea things were that bad with your father. What happened after that?" Kurt didn't take his arms away, but he loosened his grip and Blaine was thankful he maintained contact.
"It was already late by then so the first night I slept in my car. Maybe the McKinley parking lot was a bad choice, but it made sense given my state of mind at the time. It was so cold I shook for most of the night and I just couldn't figure out what to do next. I woke up to Mr. Schue pounding on my window. He was willing to put off calling CPS for a day and suggested I talk to your dad. I didn't want to, but I couldn't think of anything else. I went to the garage and Finn saw my face. After a rather intense talk with your dad I ended up staying here."
He took a deep breath before telling Kurt the worst part yet. "This morning my cousin posted pictures of Andrea's baby boy on Facebook. I don't think he'd gotten the message that I've been disowned yet. I tried to call my sister, but she texted me and told me to leave her alone. That's why Finn took me to breakfast, he found me crying this morning." Blaine said. It was such a relief to have finally explained to Kurt. "I never wanted to make things hard for you," he added.
"I'm sorry I made it about me. I just don't know how to be around you now," Kurt said.
Blaine winced, "I'm sorry, I never wanted to hurt you. At the time I thought it was the best thing to do for both of us."
"At the time?" Kurt asked as he pulled back a little, Blaine couldn't even keep up with the flashes of emotion on Kurt's face he seemed to be stuck cycling between hope, confusion, and anger, "and now? What do you think now?"
Blaine immediately missed Kurt's arms around him, but he knew Kurt needed the truth. "Now I wonder if I might be a complete idiot," he said carefully. He wasn't sure he could face a furious Kurt again so soon.
Kurt stiffened beside him. "Blaine Anderson I think you'd better explain what you mean by that," he said. Blaine was relieved that he sounded firm, but not mad.
"I thought that you would be happier in New York City if you weren't tied down to your high school boyfriend," Blaine confessed.
Kurt just stared at him. In fact, he sat staring at Blaine for nearly a full minute but Blaine knew he couldn't push.
"Did you ever think," Kurt said, each word deliberate "that maybe I should have had a say in that decision?"
Blaine shook his head, "You would have put me first because you were an amazing boyfriend. I didn't want you to have to do that again. I couldn't stand the thought of you not experiencing New York to the fullest and having regrets."
"So you decided it was better for me to spend that time wondering why you left me? Wondering what was wrong with me that you stopped loving me? Thinking I was too stupid to even see it coming? Going on horrible date after horrible date to prove to myself that I could live without you? If that was what you were going for then mission accomplished, Blaine," Kurt said.
Blaine let that sink in and felt his heart break all over again. He could see the pain in Kurt's eyes and hear it in his voice. In attempt to save Kurt from regrets he had created his own biggest regret. He had hurt Kurt, and worse than that he had made Kurt feel bad about himself. He never wanted Kurt to feel that way because of him.
"As I said: complete idiot. You need to know that you are so amazing and you did nothing. I didn't stop loving you, I can't," he said. His voice cracked a little with emotion, but he was glad that it was finally out in the open.
Kurt stood up then, and Blaine was scared to death that he was going to walk away. Instead he began to pace the room, "I don't know what to say Blaine. I don't know what you want."
Blaine watched him for a moment before replying. "I want what you want. I want to be in your life Kurt, and I need you in mine. Whether it's as your friend or your boyfriend I will find a way to make this right. I won't take away your choice again, it's up to you."
Kurt stopped pacing, but stayed a few feet away from Blaine and faced the wall, "I want to trust you. I want to hold you close and let you tell me everything will be okay, but I can't do that."
Blaine's heart sank, "Kurt."
"Please let me finish. I'm saying I can't do that yet. I think for now we should just try to be friends. I feel like we need to get to know each other again." Kurt turned then to give him a small smile and suddenly everything was okay.
Blaine smiled back, "Friends. I can do that. I seem to remember that turning out pretty well for me the last time. This time I promise I won't be kissing any girls or getting anyone fired." Kurt laughed and it was the best sound Blaine had heard in months.
"I'll hold you to that. It sounds like a good start. Carole and I are making the Christmas cookies tomorrow, would you like to help?" Kurt asked as he walked back over to the couch.
"Yes, I'd like that," Blaine said as he took the hand Kurt had extended and let the taller boy pull him up.
"Good. It will be fun. Today I'm going to go collect Finn so we can do his Christmas shopping. I haven't told him what he's getting me yet," Kurt said with a wink that made Blaine's heart jump.
Kurt still hadn't let go of his hand, and Blaine reflected happily that they'd always had a fairly hands on friendship. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard.
"Go have fun, but don't make Finn go through too many stores. He deserves a break for being a good friend. I have the afternoon shift at the shop today. Thank you for listening and for giving me a chance. You won't be sorry," he promised and pulled Kurt into a hug. He let himself rest his head on Kurt's shoulder just for a minute. This could work. Everything was going to be better now.
Kurt led Finn through the mall that afternoon with a healthy dose of holiday cheer. Though he certainly wasn't interested in the religious aspects of the season he couldn't really turn up his nose at a socially appropriate reason to be consumed by shopping and decorating.
So far he had helped Finn pick out a lovely sweater for Carole and a warm scarf made of natural fibers for his grandmother. Kurt had taken advantage of being in New York City and had done all of his Christmas shopping before he came home. Of course, now he had to get one more present with only three days to go. For once his natural shopping talent was failing him. He and Blaine were in such a precarious place right now he didn't want a gift to say too much or not enough. He was so unsure he was even considering asking Finn for ideas.
Kurt also hadn't stopped thinking about Blaine's sister Andrea since he talked to the other boy this morning. Something didn't add up with the whole situation. He understood how she may not being willing to go against her father, but he was shocked that she had been so cruel. She had only ever been friendly and welcoming to him so he doubted she felt the same way as her father about Blaine's sexuality. If nothing else she deserved to know exactly how bad she had hurt her only brother.
He had been wandering around behind Finn who certainly did not need his help picking out a present for Burt when they passed the sports memorabilia shop. Unsurprisingly they specialized in Ohio State and that gave Kurt an idea. When Blaine was living at home he'd had a poster in his room autographed by Troy Smith, this guy who was a big deal player for the Buckeyes a few years back. He had told Kurt how his grandfather had given it to him after they'd gone to a game together. He knew it was one of the last happy memories Blaine had of his grandfather.
The store didn't have anything with Troy Smith now, but Finn was more than happy to help him pick out a signed picture of Coach Tressel. Kurt didn't know much about football, but he had to admire the guy's sense of style. It kind of reminded him of Blaine in a way. It was perfect.
When they'd finished their shopping and headed for Kurt's Navigator he turned nervously to Finn, "Do you mind if we take a detour?"
"Where are we going?" Finn asked, "I don't think I can handle a trip to the outlet mall today bro. I am shopped out!"
"No more shopping, I promise. We're going to see Andrea," Kurt explained, his jaw clenched.
"Blaine's sister? I'm glad you two are talking again, but are you sure about this?"
"She might slam the door in my face, but he needs to know why she cut him off and he won't be able to handle doing this himself for a while," Kurt said.
"Okay," Finn agreed, "but I'd better just stay in the car, I don't trust myself not to punch someone."
Kurt looked over at his stepbrother and smiled, "Thank you for being his friend when he needed one. Don't worry; I can do just as much damage with words as you can with fists."
"Don't I know it!" Finn said, typing the address from Kurt's phone into the car's GPS.
*KB*
When they arrived at the house Kurt took a minute to get his thoughts together. Was this too much? Would Blaine be mad at him for interfering? Would Andrea scream horrible things at him before her husband threw him out? No, he was getting carried away. He was doing this for Blaine and he still had hope that his friend could have his sister and nephew in his life.
He was relieved when Andrea herself answered the door. "What are you doing here?" Andrea asked squinting in the direction of the car, "Is Blaine with you? I don't want him around my son like this."
Given that she looked like she was about to slam the door in his face Kurt abandoned the friendly approach he had planned on the way over. He was much better with snark anyhow, "You know the baby can't actually catch gay right?"
"I don't care about that. I'm talking about the drugs," she said as if insulted by his accusation.
"Drugs?" Kurt was pretty confused. What did drugs have to do with Blaine? Blaine would never do drugs, he'd even stopped drinking alcohol after that fight they had last year.
"You don't know? My father found drugs in Blaine's room and kicked him out of the house when he refused to get treatment,"
Andrea said, her voice sad. "I wanted to find him and check on him, but I had to put the baby first."
Kurt was flabbergasted, "That's what your father has been telling the family? That Blaine is on drugs?"
"Kurt, can you tell me if Blaine is okay? I'm so scared he's going to OD or get arrested," Andrea said.
Kurt stamped down his anger and tried to be as calm as possible when he responded, "Andrea, Blaine is not on drugs. He's fine. He's living with my family because our teacher caught him freezing in his car after your father threw him out because he's not going to outgrow being gay."
Andrea shook her head slowly, "No. Father said that he found the pills and confronted Blaine. Blaine was high and he pushed dad into the wall. Father was worried for mother's safety so he asked Blaine to leave and not come back until he was clean. Father thinks he must have gotten in with the wrong crowd at your public school."
"Blaine's face was bruised up pretty bad when he came to my parents. He said your father hit him, and I believe him. My dad believed him too if that helps. Blaine doesn't even like to eat non-organic produce, do you really think he'd get into drugs?" Kurt hadn't known it was possible to hate Blaine's father more than he already did, but right now he hoped Finn would keep him from driving to Westerville and do something that would get him arrested.
"Oh my god," Andrea said, "I was shocked, but my emotions have been all kinds of crazy with the little one and father convinced me that we had to cut Blaine off for his own good."
"So you believe me? You don't hate him?" Kurt asked, starting to feel hopeful after all.
"Oh god. How could father do this? I told Blaine to leave me alone, that I didn't want to talk to him again. I may never have talked to him again. Lucas might never have known his uncle; all because my father is a narrow-minded relic."
She was crying now, and Kurt felt terrible for having caused it. When he said as much she shook he head, "No Kurt, you may have just saved my family. I believe you, of course I do. I didn't want to think Blaine would do that, but he's been so different these last few months."
Kurt blushed, "It turns out he bought into that "If you love someone set them free" bullshit, but we've reached an understanding. We just need a little time to work things out. He's kind of a moron, but he's my moron."
Andrea laughed, "That sounds more like my little brother. Now how can I make it up to him?"
Kurt smiled, "Are you doing anything on Christmas Eve?"
"We are now," she said, pulling Kurt into a hug, "Would you like to meet Lucas? He should be waking up soon."
Kurt shook his head, "I have to go, and this outfit is Dior. Next time I'll dress to be around a child."
He gave Andrea his address in Lima, and she planned to call Blaine as soon as Kurt was on his way.
By the time Finn and Kurt got back to the house Blaine was practically bouncing around the room though it looked like he'd been crying earlier. When he spotted Kurt and Finn he ran over and threw an arm around each of them, "Andrea called me. Thank you! I don't even know what to say! I get to spend Christmas Eve with all the family that matters. She's bringing Lucas. I'm an uncle, can you believe that!" Kurt smiled and gave Blaine a quick squeeze while Finn brought their packages in from the car.
Kurt had just gone into the kitchen to get started on dinner when Mark called. Honestly, Kurt had forgotten about giving Mark his number. He was tempted to just let it go to voicemail, but he knew that Mark might really need a friendly ear right now. It was hard to go home to a small town after being in New York.
"Hello?" Kurt said.
"Hi there gorgeous," Mark said, "miss me yet?"
Kurt's brow furrowed, something was off. Mark was never this bold and he had expected to be asked for a sympathetic ear not hit on.
"Mark, are you okay? You don't sound like yourself." Kurt listened for an answer but was instead treated to some kind of rambling discussion of Kurt's ass in jeans and some increasingly graphic ideas about it. Then it dawned on him why Mark sounded so strange.
"Mark, are you drunk?" Kurt couldn't believe this. He'd wanted to help and instead a guy he'd been out for coffee with once was drunk dialing him, apparently for phone sex. Kurt couldn't help but think this saved him the trouble of letting the other man down easy if things in Lima worked out.
"I thought we had a connection, but you can't say things like that," Kurt said, blushing.
"Come on, I bet you're a tiger in.." Kurt hit the end button before Mark could finish and deleted the other man's number.
He hadn't heard Blaine in the doorway, "So," Blaine said carefully, "Who is Mark?"
Kurt turned and faced him, a small smile on his lips, "Mark was the last in a string of boring, smarmy, and just plain pathetic guys I went out with while I was trying to get over my ex. He won't be hearing from me anytime soon."
Blaine raised an eyebrow, "Oh? Why is that?"
"Not only is he a jackass when he's drunk, but I'm no longer so interested in getting over my ex," Kurt said.
"I'm very glad to hear that. In fact, I've found myself in the same position lately. It seems that missing someone so special to me had some drastic effects on my personality, enough to worry my sister. I told her not to worry though, I'm already happier than I've been in months and it's only getting better," Blaine said, winking before sauntering out of the kitchen so Kurt could make dinner.
Kurt just giggled to himself and started cutting up vegetables with a smile.
*KB*
Dinner was a much less tense event at the Hudson-Hummel house that night. Carole was working a late shift and Kurt just listened as Blaine talked sports with Finn and his dad. Kurt still didn't care about football, but he did like the Rose Parade and that was vaguely football related. Kurt was even mildly disappointed on Finn's behalf that there would be no basketball this year. After all, it's not like Rachel would have made him watch any of it.
When Finn and Blaine went upstairs to play basketball on Finn's xbox he started to clear the table.
"Sit down a minute," his dad said. Kurt had kind of expected this and went back to his chair.
"Yes, dad?" It was usually best to just let his father say what he had to say. Kurt had learned early on that volunteering information usually just made things more awkward for both of them.
"I take it you are more comfortable with Blaine living here now?" His dad leaned back in his chair and tried to take a few extra cookies off the plate in the middle of the table. It only took one look from Kurt to make him put them back.
"We talked and he told me what happened with his dad," Kurt said looking at the table cloth. "And what happened with us. He knows he made a mistake, and I apologized for the way I've been treating him," he added.
"I see," Burt said a slight upturn on the corners of his mouth.
"Why didn't you tell me how bad things were?" Kurt asked.
"It wasn't my place, kiddo. You needed to talk to him one way or another. Did you really think I would have let him stay here if he had another option? Or if I thought he didn't care about you?" His dad shook his head, "Even Finn could tell something was up."
"Thank you Dad. I don't say that enough. I'm so lucky to have this family, " Kurt said, thinking how much harder things would be if his dad didn't accept him.
"Well, we're pretty lucky to have to have you too, Scooter. So what's the story with you two? Do we need to talk about the house rules?"
Kurt rolled his eyes at his childhood nickname, "I'm making him work for it. At least a little. He can do the chasing for once."
Burt chuckled, "I think he knows how bad he screwed up. Don't be too hard on him, he just wants a chance to make it right."
"I know. I love him and getting over how he hurt me will be a lot easier than getting over him. I just don't want to rush it. We've both been through enough," Kurt said.
"As long as you're happy, kid," his dad said as he got up from his chair to head to the living room.
"I am dad, and I hope he is too," Kurt said picking up the last few plates from the table.
*KB*
The next morning Blaine woke up having slept better than he had in months. Having Kurt and Andrea back in his life was more than he had hoped for. As much as he wanted to be back with Kurt in every way possible he knew Kurt's request to take things slowly was for the best. He was totally good with letting Kurt set the pace. He had gotten used to it early in their relationship after all. Still, a little flirting couldn't hurt, and maybe the magic of the season would speed things along.
It was mid-morning by the time he went down to the kitchen. He found Kurt and Carole sifting through recipe cards and cookbooks trying to make the final decision on what to make.
"Would you still like some help?" Blaine asked grabbing an apple out of the bowl on the counter for his breakfast.
"Of course," said Kurt, "it took me months to train you as a sous chef. I can't let that go to waste!"
Blaine noticed that Carole was looking between the two of them so he gave her a nervous smile and tilted his head towards Kurt before nodding. Her face lit up and when Kurt turned his back she gave him a thumbs up. He quickly coughed to cover the rather unmanly giggle that threatened to escape.
"I was thinking I'd make more ginger snaps, and some of the popcorn bars," Carole said, "Kurt always makes his mom's 10 cup cookies, and he wants to do the strawberry coconut balls as well."
"That sounds great!" Blaine didn't care what they made as long as he got to spend time with Kurt.
"I'm glad you think so, you'll be doing the strawberry balls. That goop is not coming anywhere near my hands," Kurt said and handed him a card with the recipe. It was pretty easy, which was good because he wasn't so great in the kitchen.
He started opening cans and bags and dumping the contents into a big mixing bowl while Kurt set his iPhone in the dock and started a Christmas playlist. It didn't take long before his hands were covered in pink goop and they were all singing along. Carole had joined in too and Blaine was pleasantly surprised to find that Finn had inherited his singing voice from her. They worked like this for quite a while before Carole left to surprise Burt with lunch at the garage.
"My parents would be disgusting if they weren't so adorable. I guess I should be thankful my dad fell for someone his age. I ran into my Stage Movement instructor at a restaurant one night and his wife was young enough to be his daughter. So tacky. Her dress was pretty hideous too," Kurt said.
Blaine had long since finished the strawberry balls and was cutting up the popcorn bars that had finally cooled when the track switched again and Baby It's Cold Outside came on. When Kurt reached over and turned up the volume he knew they were thinking the same thing. He carefully put the knife down and took up his usual part, adding a silly little dance across the kitchen in an attempt to make Kurt smile.
Kurt came in right on time for his part and carefully set the latest batch of cookies on the cooling rack before adding a few dance steps of his own. As they sang together Blaine couldn't help think back to the Christmas after they met. He hadn't quite figured out his feelings for Kurt at that point but he had certainly found a connection there that he had never been able to find in anyone else.
He watched as Kurt did the little shimmy that hours of extra dance classes just couldn't stop. Blaine had to agree that it was incredibly distracting. He danced over to Kurt and bumped his shoulder, and was pleased when he felt Kurt's hip bump his in return.
As the song came to an end they found themselves face to face in the middle of the kitchen, both of them out of breath and grinning. Blaine noticed that Kurt had a little smudge of flour on his cheek. It was adorable.
He looked Kurt right in the eye, giving the other boy time to pull away as he raised his hand, "You have a little flour on your face." He gently cupped Kurt's cheek and used his thumb to wipe away the powder, sucking in a breath at how smooth Kurt's skin was. He couldn't believe he'd almost forgotten how nice it felt against his hand.
"Thanks," Kurt said, holding his gaze and Blaine held his breath while Kurt let his hand come up and rest on Blaine's bicep. He tilted his head just a little and hoped Kurt realized how desperately he wanted to kiss him right now. As if Kurt could read his mind, or at least what was written all over his face, the taller boy leaned forward and brushed their lips together.
Blaine fought the urge to push Kurt against the counter for more, he had promised to let Kurt take his time. He was thankful then when Kurt deepened the kiss, and he let his hand slide from Kurt's cheek to the back of his neck in encouragement. Blaine could feel his heart pounding in his chest and was pretty sure it was one of the best kisses he'd ever had.
Just when the things were starting to move from sweet to hot Kurt placed one last kiss on his lips and moved away, not dropping his hand from Blaine's arm. Blaine was relieved to see that Kurt was smiling, he knew he certainly was.
"I didn't mean for that to happen today but I'm not sorry it did," Kurt said, his cheeks red. "I think that's all I can handle today though."
Blaine nodded and moved his hand from Kurt's neck to his shoulder, "Kurt, I meant it when I told you it was up to you. Still, if we are back to this complete honesty thing I really have to say that was an amazing kiss and I'm really glad you don't regret it."
Kurt smiled down at him and raised an eyebrow. "No regrets, just love right?" He said with a laugh.
"Right," Blaine said and laughed as well. At the moment he felt like he could laugh all day.
Kurt excused himself a bit early that night and went up to his room. He was still feeling a little bit of a rush from what had happened earlier. He'd meant what he'd told Blaine. He didn't regret the kiss; it was just that it had been so much more than he'd thought it would be. He thought that he would have work up to being with Blaine again, but it was all so easy when it was actually happening. Tina's claims that Blaine hadn't been seeing anyone else made a lot more sense now that he knew why the other boy had broken up with him. It made it much easier to trust Blaine's assurances that he knew what he'd done and what they'd almost lost.
Still, he really didn't want them to screw this up. He was starting to understand that Blaine still loved him, but he couldn't erase months of self-doubt in an afternoon. He knew he loved Blaine. He'd been trying to deny it, trying to push it down and make it go away for months. It was still there and now it was all rushing to the surface again. He was surprisingly okay with it. The plan was to take things one day at a time, but that was a little more complicated when the next day was Christmas Eve.
*KB*KB*
The next morning he was doing some prep work for dinner that night when Blaine came downstairs. Kurt couldn't help but smile at the red sweater vest over a green checked shirt the other boy had chosen to celebrate the holiday. He wouldn't be caught dead in it, but it suited Blaine somehow.
"I have a gold bow-tie if you are interested," he said.
Blaine smiled and tugged at his collar, "Maybe for dinner tonight? I need to ask you a favor this morning?"
"Is Finn giving you a hard time about being one of Santa's elves again? I thought I made myself clear on that last year," Kurt put the vegetables he'd been chopping back in the fridge and turned around.
Blaine made a rather childish face that Kurt couldn't help but think was adorable, "No, and please don't remind him! He's taking the big brother thing way too seriously and when I try to fight back he just holds stuff over my head!"
Kurt rolled his eyes, "If it helps, he does that to everyone. Brit is the only one who can reach. What do you need?"
"Come to Babies R Us with me? I know it's Christmas Eve and it's insane but I don't have anything for Lucas," Blaine said, looking worried.
"I'm sure Andrea would understand, she just wants to see you," Kurt started but Blaine cut him off.
"I know, but it's his first Christmas and I want to be a good uncle, and except for yours they are the only family I have left and what if he doesn't like me, " Blaine said talking faster and faster.
"Blaine! Take a deep breath. Have I ever turned down a chance to go shopping? You really need to relax. Of course you are going to be great uncle. I don't think newborns are very judgmental, as long as you don't drop him it should be fine," Kurt said with a smile.
Blaine always wanted to make sure everyone else was happy and now that Kurt knew how far the other boy would go to do it, even at his own expense, he realized somebody really had to look out for Blaine's happiness. He was pretty sure he wanted the job.
Blaine's eyes widened in horror, "Oh my god! What if I drop him? I don't know anything about babies. How do I hold him? Oh god, Kurt. He's so tiny."
"Hey," Kurt said, moving to put a calming hand on Blaine's shoulder,"You will be fine. When we get back from the mall we'll ask Carole to show you how to hold a baby. I promise Andrea doesn't expect you to know what you're doing."
"Thanks," Blaine said smoothing down his vest, "Okay, I'm good now. I can do this."
"Let's go shopping," Kurt said.
*KB*KB*
If you had told Kurt a week ago that he'd have a blast spending two hours in a store filled with brightly colored plastic, clothes that didn't fit him, and Blaine he would have laughed in your face. Still, he was having a blast. The little clothes were absolutely adorable, and he had already helped Blaine pick out three little outfits for Lucas including a tiny navy three piece suit that Kurt planned on adding red piping and a patch to as soon as he could get to his sewing machine.
As they wandered through the toy section Blaine was starting to relax and have fun. They discussed the merits of various stuffed toy animals, Blaine arguing for a squashy beagle and Kurt lobbying for a curly haired sheep. Finally the two decided on a rather adorable elephant because as Kurt pointed out, "Gray goes with nearly everything."
When they made their way up to the cash register Kurt excused himself to run to the music store in the same plaza. He'd been feeling rather generous towards Finn lately and he wanted to pick up some new drumsticks to add to his gift. When he spotted the tiny play piano he couldn't resist getting it for Lucas, even though he knew the little boy was months away from being able to even bang on it. Besides, the other gifts were from Blaine and this one could be from Kurt.
When he met Blaine back at the car he was glad to see the other boy looked relaxed and happy.
"Had enough of the mall?" Blaine asked.
"I can't believe I would ever say this, but yes. Let's go home," Kurt said. He liked the sound of that even if it wasn't quite what he had thought of when he imagined living with Blaine before. It was pretty good for now.
They put their packages in the back of the Navigator and when Kurt climbed into the driver's seat he noticed Blaine was still holding one bag, "What's that?"
"Oh! Well, I picked up something else before I went to the register," Blaine said, a little bit of pink in his cheeks, "I wanted you to have it." Kurt watched, curious, as Blaine reached into the bag and pulled out the stuffed sheep that Kurt had been looking at earlier. "I thought you could use something besides Rachel to keep you company when you go back to New York," he explained.
Kurt couldn't help his grin as he reached out and took the little creature, squeezing it against his chest. This was pretty much exactly what he needed from Blaine, not the material things, but the thought behind it. He needed reminded that Blaine thought he was worth the effort. He ran his fingers through the soft coat of the toy.
"Well, I suppose it would be a nice change to not wake up alone. I do have a thing for curls, after all," he said, trying to walk the line between flirting and downright innuendo.
"Lucky fucking sheep," Blaine blurted out and turned a pleasant shade of red when he realized what he'd said. Kurt laughed, but he decided to let it go and started the car heading for home.
**KB**
Andrea arrived with her husband and little Lucas right on time that evening. Carole had been more than happy to fuss over the newborn and even Kurt who had put on last season's clothes just for the occasion held the baby. Kurt watched Blaine very carefully when it was his turn and was overwhelmed at the wonder and love on his face as he held his nephew. He could so easily picture Blaine as a father. They'd talked about it before, adopting children and raising a family in New York City. He hadn't let himself think about it in a long time.
The families seemed to get along very well over dinner and Kurt was feeling pretty good, despite the fact that Finn had decided he would help things along by hanging mistletoe all over the house. So far he had not ended up underneath the decorations with Blaine, but Finn had. Kurt could only consider that fitting karma. Finn, however, had merely shrugged and pulled Blaine into a one armed hug planting a kiss on the top of his head. It was brotherly, sweet, and made Kurt stop thinking of ways to injure Finn with the drumsticks for putting up the mistletoe in the first place.
Just as they were finishing up dessert Andrea turned to Blaine, "So do you need a few days to pack?"
Blaine looked at her, his eyebrows a deep v, "Pack?"
"To move in with Jon and me! I'm so glad the Hummels could let you stay, but you're not their problem. We're your family and you can stay in the guest room."
Kurt dropped his fork and looked at Blaine. Blaine obviously hadn't expected this either, as he was just staring at his sister with his mouth open. Kurt wasn't sure what to say, and looked quickly at his parents. Carole was biting her lip and his dad was putting his coffee cup on the table with what Kurt could tell was a fake calm.
He knew Blaine needed his family, but he was happy here. The Hummel-Hudson's had taken him in when his sister was ready to believe the worst about him. If he was honest Kurt would say that he needed more time with Blaine and if that made him selfish he could live with that.
"Now hold on just a minute," Burt said, "Blaine isn't a problem at all and he is legally in our care. This is home for as long as he wants it, and that doesn't stop at his birthday or graduation." His dad stopped to make sure Blaine was really listening before he went on, "Blaine is always welcome here."
His dad's gaze moved from Blaine to Kurt, "Isn't that right, Kurt?"
"Yes, for as long as he wants," Kurt said. He knew Blaine well enough that it wasn't much to promise. If things between them ever became so bad again they couldn't at least be friends Blaine would step aside gracefully once he had the freedom to do as he wished. Kurt didn't really see that happening. If for some reason they grew apart he thought they could stay on friendly terms. The only deal-breaker on friendship would be cheating, and since Blaine wouldn't even date other guys when they were broken up he wasn't too worried about that.
Kurt's dad spoke again, "That said, if Blaine would be more comfortable with you we can make the necessary arrangements."
At that moment everyone's eyes went to Blaine, who hadn't said anything through all of this.
After a few minutes Blaine was still on the floor, but lost in thought with his head resting on his knees. He knew that Kurt could only be so hurtful when he was desperately hurting himself. It broke Blaine's heart that he could be the cause of so much pain that Kurt would react as if he was in actual danger. He really should just find somewhere else to go and let Kurt enjoy his time at home.
Blaine's thoughts were interrupted by a hand resting very lightly on his shoulder, a hand he knew well.
"Can I talk to you?" Kurt asked while dropping gracefully to the carpet next to Blaine. His first thought was that Kurt must really be serious if he's willing to sit on the floor in Dior pants. "Go ahead," he said trying not to choke on his words.
"First I want to apologize. I was mean, selfish, and unfair. I don't want to be that person, even to you. Especially to you. I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you since I came home," Kurt said.
Blaine looked up at him, his eyes wide. He hadn't really expected this, not so soon at least.
"Kurt, thank you. I'm so sorry that this is difficult for you. I didn't know where else to go," Blaine said, hoping that Kurt could tell how much he meant it.
"Will you explain it to me? What happened with your family? I'd like to hear it from you. I'm ready to listen now," Kurt said, dropping the hand that was on Blaine's shoulder into the space between them.
Blaine took a deep breath and started to talk, "When senior year started things with my dad just kept getting worse. I think that he'd always thought me being gay was some type of rebellion or phase that I would grow out of. He started to see that wasn't going to happen and got angry."
Kurt just nodded, so he took that as a cue to keep going, "I would rather not get into the details of the fight we had that night, it was nothing different than before. It just got out of hand." There was no way he was ready to tell Kurt that he had been one of the topics of the fight.
"I told him that I wasn't going to change who I was because of his homophobia. I suggested he come to a PFLAG meeting. He laughed in my face and told me I better get myself together and think about my future. I pointed out that my college money was in a trust and he couldn't do anything about it, " Blaine said.
He couldn't look at Kurt during the next part so he just closed his eyes and went on. "My father shoved me and I shoved back. I didn't even see the punch coming. I was on the ground with my face throbbing and he told me to get out and not come back. So I did," he said.
Long arms wrapped around him and helped him sit up on the couch, "I don't want to see you hurting on the floor ever again, sweetheart."
Blaine whimpered a little at the endearment, and leaned towards Kurt. When he looked up he could tell that Kurt was embarrassed about letting it slip, but he also had tears running down his face.
"Blaine, I'm so sorry. I had no idea things were that bad with your father. What happened after that?" Kurt didn't take his arms away, but he loosened his grip and Blaine was thankful he maintained contact.
"It was already late by then so the first night I slept in my car. Maybe the McKinley parking lot was a bad choice, but it made sense given my state of mind at the time. It was so cold I shook for most of the night and I just couldn't figure out what to do next. I woke up to Mr. Schue pounding on my window. He was willing to put off calling CPS for a day and suggested I talk to your dad. I didn't want to, but I couldn't think of anything else. I went to the garage and Finn saw my face. After a rather intense talk with your dad I ended up staying here."
He took a deep breath before telling Kurt the worst part yet. "This morning my cousin posted pictures of Andrea's baby boy on Facebook. I don't think he'd gotten the message that I've been disowned yet. I tried to call my sister, but she texted me and told me to leave her alone. That's why Finn took me to breakfast, he found me crying this morning." Blaine said. It was such a relief to have finally explained to Kurt. "I never wanted to make things hard for you," he added.
"I'm sorry I made it about me. I just don't know how to be around you now," Kurt said.
Blaine winced, "I'm sorry, I never wanted to hurt you. At the time I thought it was the best thing to do for both of us."
"At the time?" Kurt asked as he pulled back a little, Blaine couldn't even keep up with the flashes of emotion on Kurt's face he seemed to be stuck cycling between hope, confusion, and anger, "and now? What do you think now?"
Blaine immediately missed Kurt's arms around him, but he knew Kurt needed the truth. "Now I wonder if I might be a complete idiot," he said carefully. He wasn't sure he could face a furious Kurt again so soon.
Kurt stiffened beside him. "Blaine Anderson I think you'd better explain what you mean by that," he said. Blaine was relieved that he sounded firm, but not mad.
"I thought that you would be happier in New York City if you weren't tied down to your high school boyfriend," Blaine confessed.
Kurt just stared at him. In fact, he sat staring at Blaine for nearly a full minute but Blaine knew he couldn't push.
"Did you ever think," Kurt said, each word deliberate "that maybe I should have had a say in that decision?"
Blaine shook his head, "You would have put me first because you were an amazing boyfriend. I didn't want you to have to do that again. I couldn't stand the thought of you not experiencing New York to the fullest and having regrets."
"So you decided it was better for me to spend that time wondering why you left me? Wondering what was wrong with me that you stopped loving me? Thinking I was too stupid to even see it coming? Going on horrible date after horrible date to prove to myself that I could live without you? If that was what you were going for then mission accomplished, Blaine," Kurt said.
Blaine let that sink in and felt his heart break all over again. He could see the pain in Kurt's eyes and hear it in his voice. In attempt to save Kurt from regrets he had created his own biggest regret. He had hurt Kurt, and worse than that he had made Kurt feel bad about himself. He never wanted Kurt to feel that way because of him.
"As I said: complete idiot. You need to know that you are so amazing and you did nothing. I didn't stop loving you, I can't," he said. His voice cracked a little with emotion, but he was glad that it was finally out in the open.
Kurt stood up then, and Blaine was scared to death that he was going to walk away. Instead he began to pace the room, "I don't know what to say Blaine. I don't know what you want."
Blaine watched him for a moment before replying. "I want what you want. I want to be in your life Kurt, and I need you in mine. Whether it's as your friend or your boyfriend I will find a way to make this right. I won't take away your choice again, it's up to you."
Kurt stopped pacing, but stayed a few feet away from Blaine and faced the wall, "I want to trust you. I want to hold you close and let you tell me everything will be okay, but I can't do that."
Blaine's heart sank, "Kurt."
"Please let me finish. I'm saying I can't do that yet. I think for now we should just try to be friends. I feel like we need to get to know each other again." Kurt turned then to give him a small smile and suddenly everything was okay.
Blaine smiled back, "Friends. I can do that. I seem to remember that turning out pretty well for me the last time. This time I promise I won't be kissing any girls or getting anyone fired." Kurt laughed and it was the best sound Blaine had heard in months.
"I'll hold you to that. It sounds like a good start. Carole and I are making the Christmas cookies tomorrow, would you like to help?" Kurt asked as he walked back over to the couch.
"Yes, I'd like that," Blaine said as he took the hand Kurt had extended and let the taller boy pull him up.
"Good. It will be fun. Today I'm going to go collect Finn so we can do his Christmas shopping. I haven't told him what he's getting me yet," Kurt said with a wink that made Blaine's heart jump.
Kurt still hadn't let go of his hand, and Blaine reflected happily that they'd always had a fairly hands on friendship. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard.
"Go have fun, but don't make Finn go through too many stores. He deserves a break for being a good friend. I have the afternoon shift at the shop today. Thank you for listening and for giving me a chance. You won't be sorry," he promised and pulled Kurt into a hug. He let himself rest his head on Kurt's shoulder just for a minute. This could work. Everything was going to be better now.
Kurt led Finn through the mall that afternoon with a healthy dose of holiday cheer. Though he certainly wasn't interested in the religious aspects of the season he couldn't really turn up his nose at a socially appropriate reason to be consumed by shopping and decorating.
So far he had helped Finn pick out a lovely sweater for Carole and a warm scarf made of natural fibers for his grandmother. Kurt had taken advantage of being in New York City and had done all of his Christmas shopping before he came home. Of course, now he had to get one more present with only three days to go. For once his natural shopping talent was failing him. He and Blaine were in such a precarious place right now he didn't want a gift to say too much or not enough. He was so unsure he was even considering asking Finn for ideas.
Kurt also hadn't stopped thinking about Blaine's sister Andrea since he talked to the other boy this morning. Something didn't add up with the whole situation. He understood how she may not being willing to go against her father, but he was shocked that she had been so cruel. She had only ever been friendly and welcoming to him so he doubted she felt the same way as her father about Blaine's sexuality. If nothing else she deserved to know exactly how bad she had hurt her only brother.
He had been wandering around behind Finn who certainly did not need his help picking out a present for Burt when they passed the sports memorabilia shop. Unsurprisingly they specialized in Ohio State and that gave Kurt an idea. When Blaine was living at home he'd had a poster in his room autographed by Troy Smith, this guy who was a big deal player for the Buckeyes a few years back. He had told Kurt how his grandfather had given it to him after they'd gone to a game together. He knew it was one of the last happy memories Blaine had of his grandfather.
The store didn't have anything with Troy Smith now, but Finn was more than happy to help him pick out a signed picture of Coach Tressel. Kurt didn't know much about football, but he had to admire the guy's sense of style. It kind of reminded him of Blaine in a way. It was perfect.
When they'd finished their shopping and headed for Kurt's Navigator he turned nervously to Finn, "Do you mind if we take a detour?"
"Where are we going?" Finn asked, "I don't think I can handle a trip to the outlet mall today bro. I am shopped out!"
"No more shopping, I promise. We're going to see Andrea," Kurt explained, his jaw clenched.
"Blaine's sister? I'm glad you two are talking again, but are you sure about this?"
"She might slam the door in my face, but he needs to know why she cut him off and he won't be able to handle doing this himself for a while," Kurt said.
"Okay," Finn agreed, "but I'd better just stay in the car, I don't trust myself not to punch someone."
Kurt looked over at his stepbrother and smiled, "Thank you for being his friend when he needed one. Don't worry; I can do just as much damage with words as you can with fists."
"Don't I know it!" Finn said, typing the address from Kurt's phone into the car's GPS.
*KB*
When they arrived at the house Kurt took a minute to get his thoughts together. Was this too much? Would Blaine be mad at him for interfering? Would Andrea scream horrible things at him before her husband threw him out? No, he was getting carried away. He was doing this for Blaine and he still had hope that his friend could have his sister and nephew in his life.
He was relieved when Andrea herself answered the door. "What are you doing here?" Andrea asked squinting in the direction of the car, "Is Blaine with you? I don't want him around my son like this."
Given that she looked like she was about to slam the door in his face Kurt abandoned the friendly approach he had planned on the way over. He was much better with snark anyhow, "You know the baby can't actually catch gay right?"
"I don't care about that. I'm talking about the drugs," she said as if insulted by his accusation.
"Drugs?" Kurt was pretty confused. What did drugs have to do with Blaine? Blaine would never do drugs, he'd even stopped drinking alcohol after that fight they had last year.
"You don't know? My father found drugs in Blaine's room and kicked him out of the house when he refused to get treatment,"
Andrea said, her voice sad. "I wanted to find him and check on him, but I had to put the baby first."
Kurt was flabbergasted, "That's what your father has been telling the family? That Blaine is on drugs?"
"Kurt, can you tell me if Blaine is okay? I'm so scared he's going to OD or get arrested," Andrea said.
Kurt stamped down his anger and tried to be as calm as possible when he responded, "Andrea, Blaine is not on drugs. He's fine. He's living with my family because our teacher caught him freezing in his car after your father threw him out because he's not going to outgrow being gay."
Andrea shook her head slowly, "No. Father said that he found the pills and confronted Blaine. Blaine was high and he pushed dad into the wall. Father was worried for mother's safety so he asked Blaine to leave and not come back until he was clean. Father thinks he must have gotten in with the wrong crowd at your public school."
"Blaine's face was bruised up pretty bad when he came to my parents. He said your father hit him, and I believe him. My dad believed him too if that helps. Blaine doesn't even like to eat non-organic produce, do you really think he'd get into drugs?" Kurt hadn't known it was possible to hate Blaine's father more than he already did, but right now he hoped Finn would keep him from driving to Westerville and do something that would get him arrested.
"Oh my god," Andrea said, "I was shocked, but my emotions have been all kinds of crazy with the little one and father convinced me that we had to cut Blaine off for his own good."
"So you believe me? You don't hate him?" Kurt asked, starting to feel hopeful after all.
"Oh god. How could father do this? I told Blaine to leave me alone, that I didn't want to talk to him again. I may never have talked to him again. Lucas might never have known his uncle; all because my father is a narrow-minded relic."
She was crying now, and Kurt felt terrible for having caused it. When he said as much she shook he head, "No Kurt, you may have just saved my family. I believe you, of course I do. I didn't want to think Blaine would do that, but he's been so different these last few months."
Kurt blushed, "It turns out he bought into that "If you love someone set them free" bullshit, but we've reached an understanding. We just need a little time to work things out. He's kind of a moron, but he's my moron."
Andrea laughed, "That sounds more like my little brother. Now how can I make it up to him?"
Kurt smiled, "Are you doing anything on Christmas Eve?"
"We are now," she said, pulling Kurt into a hug, "Would you like to meet Lucas? He should be waking up soon."
Kurt shook his head, "I have to go, and this outfit is Dior. Next time I'll dress to be around a child."
He gave Andrea his address in Lima, and she planned to call Blaine as soon as Kurt was on his way.
By the time Finn and Kurt got back to the house Blaine was practically bouncing around the room though it looked like he'd been crying earlier. When he spotted Kurt and Finn he ran over and threw an arm around each of them, "Andrea called me. Thank you! I don't even know what to say! I get to spend Christmas Eve with all the family that matters. She's bringing Lucas. I'm an uncle, can you believe that!" Kurt smiled and gave Blaine a quick squeeze while Finn brought their packages in from the car.
Kurt had just gone into the kitchen to get started on dinner when Mark called. Honestly, Kurt had forgotten about giving Mark his number. He was tempted to just let it go to voicemail, but he knew that Mark might really need a friendly ear right now. It was hard to go home to a small town after being in New York.
"Hello?" Kurt said.
"Hi there gorgeous," Mark said, "miss me yet?"
Kurt's brow furrowed, something was off. Mark was never this bold and he had expected to be asked for a sympathetic ear not hit on.
"Mark, are you okay? You don't sound like yourself." Kurt listened for an answer but was instead treated to some kind of rambling discussion of Kurt's ass in jeans and some increasingly graphic ideas about it. Then it dawned on him why Mark sounded so strange.
"Mark, are you drunk?" Kurt couldn't believe this. He'd wanted to help and instead a guy he'd been out for coffee with once was drunk dialing him, apparently for phone sex. Kurt couldn't help but think this saved him the trouble of letting the other man down easy if things in Lima worked out.
"I thought we had a connection, but you can't say things like that," Kurt said, blushing.
"Come on, I bet you're a tiger in.." Kurt hit the end button before Mark could finish and deleted the other man's number.
He hadn't heard Blaine in the doorway, "So," Blaine said carefully, "Who is Mark?"
Kurt turned and faced him, a small smile on his lips, "Mark was the last in a string of boring, smarmy, and just plain pathetic guys I went out with while I was trying to get over my ex. He won't be hearing from me anytime soon."
Blaine raised an eyebrow, "Oh? Why is that?"
"Not only is he a jackass when he's drunk, but I'm no longer so interested in getting over my ex," Kurt said.
"I'm very glad to hear that. In fact, I've found myself in the same position lately. It seems that missing someone so special to me had some drastic effects on my personality, enough to worry my sister. I told her not to worry though, I'm already happier than I've been in months and it's only getting better," Blaine said, winking before sauntering out of the kitchen so Kurt could make dinner.
Kurt just giggled to himself and started cutting up vegetables with a smile.
*KB*
Dinner was a much less tense event at the Hudson-Hummel house that night. Carole was working a late shift and Kurt just listened as Blaine talked sports with Finn and his dad. Kurt still didn't care about football, but he did like the Rose Parade and that was vaguely football related. Kurt was even mildly disappointed on Finn's behalf that there would be no basketball this year. After all, it's not like Rachel would have made him watch any of it.
When Finn and Blaine went upstairs to play basketball on Finn's xbox he started to clear the table.
"Sit down a minute," his dad said. Kurt had kind of expected this and went back to his chair.
"Yes, dad?" It was usually best to just let his father say what he had to say. Kurt had learned early on that volunteering information usually just made things more awkward for both of them.
"I take it you are more comfortable with Blaine living here now?" His dad leaned back in his chair and tried to take a few extra cookies off the plate in the middle of the table. It only took one look from Kurt to make him put them back.
"We talked and he told me what happened with his dad," Kurt said looking at the table cloth. "And what happened with us. He knows he made a mistake, and I apologized for the way I've been treating him," he added.
"I see," Burt said a slight upturn on the corners of his mouth.
"Why didn't you tell me how bad things were?" Kurt asked.
"It wasn't my place, kiddo. You needed to talk to him one way or another. Did you really think I would have let him stay here if he had another option? Or if I thought he didn't care about you?" His dad shook his head, "Even Finn could tell something was up."
"Thank you Dad. I don't say that enough. I'm so lucky to have this family, " Kurt said, thinking how much harder things would be if his dad didn't accept him.
"Well, we're pretty lucky to have to have you too, Scooter. So what's the story with you two? Do we need to talk about the house rules?"
Kurt rolled his eyes at his childhood nickname, "I'm making him work for it. At least a little. He can do the chasing for once."
Burt chuckled, "I think he knows how bad he screwed up. Don't be too hard on him, he just wants a chance to make it right."
"I know. I love him and getting over how he hurt me will be a lot easier than getting over him. I just don't want to rush it. We've both been through enough," Kurt said.
"As long as you're happy, kid," his dad said as he got up from his chair to head to the living room.
"I am dad, and I hope he is too," Kurt said picking up the last few plates from the table.
*KB*
The next morning Blaine woke up having slept better than he had in months. Having Kurt and Andrea back in his life was more than he had hoped for. As much as he wanted to be back with Kurt in every way possible he knew Kurt's request to take things slowly was for the best. He was totally good with letting Kurt set the pace. He had gotten used to it early in their relationship after all. Still, a little flirting couldn't hurt, and maybe the magic of the season would speed things along.
It was mid-morning by the time he went down to the kitchen. He found Kurt and Carole sifting through recipe cards and cookbooks trying to make the final decision on what to make.
"Would you still like some help?" Blaine asked grabbing an apple out of the bowl on the counter for his breakfast.
"Of course," said Kurt, "it took me months to train you as a sous chef. I can't let that go to waste!"
Blaine noticed that Carole was looking between the two of them so he gave her a nervous smile and tilted his head towards Kurt before nodding. Her face lit up and when Kurt turned his back she gave him a thumbs up. He quickly coughed to cover the rather unmanly giggle that threatened to escape.
"I was thinking I'd make more ginger snaps, and some of the popcorn bars," Carole said, "Kurt always makes his mom's 10 cup cookies, and he wants to do the strawberry coconut balls as well."
"That sounds great!" Blaine didn't care what they made as long as he got to spend time with Kurt.
"I'm glad you think so, you'll be doing the strawberry balls. That goop is not coming anywhere near my hands," Kurt said and handed him a card with the recipe. It was pretty easy, which was good because he wasn't so great in the kitchen.
He started opening cans and bags and dumping the contents into a big mixing bowl while Kurt set his iPhone in the dock and started a Christmas playlist. It didn't take long before his hands were covered in pink goop and they were all singing along. Carole had joined in too and Blaine was pleasantly surprised to find that Finn had inherited his singing voice from her. They worked like this for quite a while before Carole left to surprise Burt with lunch at the garage.
"My parents would be disgusting if they weren't so adorable. I guess I should be thankful my dad fell for someone his age. I ran into my Stage Movement instructor at a restaurant one night and his wife was young enough to be his daughter. So tacky. Her dress was pretty hideous too," Kurt said.
Blaine had long since finished the strawberry balls and was cutting up the popcorn bars that had finally cooled when the track switched again and Baby It's Cold Outside came on. When Kurt reached over and turned up the volume he knew they were thinking the same thing. He carefully put the knife down and took up his usual part, adding a silly little dance across the kitchen in an attempt to make Kurt smile.
Kurt came in right on time for his part and carefully set the latest batch of cookies on the cooling rack before adding a few dance steps of his own. As they sang together Blaine couldn't help think back to the Christmas after they met. He hadn't quite figured out his feelings for Kurt at that point but he had certainly found a connection there that he had never been able to find in anyone else.
He watched as Kurt did the little shimmy that hours of extra dance classes just couldn't stop. Blaine had to agree that it was incredibly distracting. He danced over to Kurt and bumped his shoulder, and was pleased when he felt Kurt's hip bump his in return.
As the song came to an end they found themselves face to face in the middle of the kitchen, both of them out of breath and grinning. Blaine noticed that Kurt had a little smudge of flour on his cheek. It was adorable.
He looked Kurt right in the eye, giving the other boy time to pull away as he raised his hand, "You have a little flour on your face." He gently cupped Kurt's cheek and used his thumb to wipe away the powder, sucking in a breath at how smooth Kurt's skin was. He couldn't believe he'd almost forgotten how nice it felt against his hand.
"Thanks," Kurt said, holding his gaze and Blaine held his breath while Kurt let his hand come up and rest on Blaine's bicep. He tilted his head just a little and hoped Kurt realized how desperately he wanted to kiss him right now. As if Kurt could read his mind, or at least what was written all over his face, the taller boy leaned forward and brushed their lips together.
Blaine fought the urge to push Kurt against the counter for more, he had promised to let Kurt take his time. He was thankful then when Kurt deepened the kiss, and he let his hand slide from Kurt's cheek to the back of his neck in encouragement. Blaine could feel his heart pounding in his chest and was pretty sure it was one of the best kisses he'd ever had.
Just when the things were starting to move from sweet to hot Kurt placed one last kiss on his lips and moved away, not dropping his hand from Blaine's arm. Blaine was relieved to see that Kurt was smiling, he knew he certainly was.
"I didn't mean for that to happen today but I'm not sorry it did," Kurt said, his cheeks red. "I think that's all I can handle today though."
Blaine nodded and moved his hand from Kurt's neck to his shoulder, "Kurt, I meant it when I told you it was up to you. Still, if we are back to this complete honesty thing I really have to say that was an amazing kiss and I'm really glad you don't regret it."
Kurt smiled down at him and raised an eyebrow. "No regrets, just love right?" He said with a laugh.
"Right," Blaine said and laughed as well. At the moment he felt like he could laugh all day.
Kurt excused himself a bit early that night and went up to his room. He was still feeling a little bit of a rush from what had happened earlier. He'd meant what he'd told Blaine. He didn't regret the kiss; it was just that it had been so much more than he'd thought it would be. He thought that he would have work up to being with Blaine again, but it was all so easy when it was actually happening. Tina's claims that Blaine hadn't been seeing anyone else made a lot more sense now that he knew why the other boy had broken up with him. It made it much easier to trust Blaine's assurances that he knew what he'd done and what they'd almost lost.
Still, he really didn't want them to screw this up. He was starting to understand that Blaine still loved him, but he couldn't erase months of self-doubt in an afternoon. He knew he loved Blaine. He'd been trying to deny it, trying to push it down and make it go away for months. It was still there and now it was all rushing to the surface again. He was surprisingly okay with it. The plan was to take things one day at a time, but that was a little more complicated when the next day was Christmas Eve.
*KB*KB*
The next morning he was doing some prep work for dinner that night when Blaine came downstairs. Kurt couldn't help but smile at the red sweater vest over a green checked shirt the other boy had chosen to celebrate the holiday. He wouldn't be caught dead in it, but it suited Blaine somehow.
"I have a gold bow-tie if you are interested," he said.
Blaine smiled and tugged at his collar, "Maybe for dinner tonight? I need to ask you a favor this morning?"
"Is Finn giving you a hard time about being one of Santa's elves again? I thought I made myself clear on that last year," Kurt put the vegetables he'd been chopping back in the fridge and turned around.
Blaine made a rather childish face that Kurt couldn't help but think was adorable, "No, and please don't remind him! He's taking the big brother thing way too seriously and when I try to fight back he just holds stuff over my head!"
Kurt rolled his eyes, "If it helps, he does that to everyone. Brit is the only one who can reach. What do you need?"
"Come to Babies R Us with me? I know it's Christmas Eve and it's insane but I don't have anything for Lucas," Blaine said, looking worried.
"I'm sure Andrea would understand, she just wants to see you," Kurt started but Blaine cut him off.
"I know, but it's his first Christmas and I want to be a good uncle, and except for yours they are the only family I have left and what if he doesn't like me, " Blaine said talking faster and faster.
"Blaine! Take a deep breath. Have I ever turned down a chance to go shopping? You really need to relax. Of course you are going to be great uncle. I don't think newborns are very judgmental, as long as you don't drop him it should be fine," Kurt said with a smile.
Blaine always wanted to make sure everyone else was happy and now that Kurt knew how far the other boy would go to do it, even at his own expense, he realized somebody really had to look out for Blaine's happiness. He was pretty sure he wanted the job.
Blaine's eyes widened in horror, "Oh my god! What if I drop him? I don't know anything about babies. How do I hold him? Oh god, Kurt. He's so tiny."
"Hey," Kurt said, moving to put a calming hand on Blaine's shoulder,"You will be fine. When we get back from the mall we'll ask Carole to show you how to hold a baby. I promise Andrea doesn't expect you to know what you're doing."
"Thanks," Blaine said smoothing down his vest, "Okay, I'm good now. I can do this."
"Let's go shopping," Kurt said.
*KB*KB*
If you had told Kurt a week ago that he'd have a blast spending two hours in a store filled with brightly colored plastic, clothes that didn't fit him, and Blaine he would have laughed in your face. Still, he was having a blast. The little clothes were absolutely adorable, and he had already helped Blaine pick out three little outfits for Lucas including a tiny navy three piece suit that Kurt planned on adding red piping and a patch to as soon as he could get to his sewing machine.
As they wandered through the toy section Blaine was starting to relax and have fun. They discussed the merits of various stuffed toy animals, Blaine arguing for a squashy beagle and Kurt lobbying for a curly haired sheep. Finally the two decided on a rather adorable elephant because as Kurt pointed out, "Gray goes with nearly everything."
When they made their way up to the cash register Kurt excused himself to run to the music store in the same plaza. He'd been feeling rather generous towards Finn lately and he wanted to pick up some new drumsticks to add to his gift. When he spotted the tiny play piano he couldn't resist getting it for Lucas, even though he knew the little boy was months away from being able to even bang on it. Besides, the other gifts were from Blaine and this one could be from Kurt.
When he met Blaine back at the car he was glad to see the other boy looked relaxed and happy.
"Had enough of the mall?" Blaine asked.
"I can't believe I would ever say this, but yes. Let's go home," Kurt said. He liked the sound of that even if it wasn't quite what he had thought of when he imagined living with Blaine before. It was pretty good for now.
They put their packages in the back of the Navigator and when Kurt climbed into the driver's seat he noticed Blaine was still holding one bag, "What's that?"
"Oh! Well, I picked up something else before I went to the register," Blaine said, a little bit of pink in his cheeks, "I wanted you to have it." Kurt watched, curious, as Blaine reached into the bag and pulled out the stuffed sheep that Kurt had been looking at earlier. "I thought you could use something besides Rachel to keep you company when you go back to New York," he explained.
Kurt couldn't help his grin as he reached out and took the little creature, squeezing it against his chest. This was pretty much exactly what he needed from Blaine, not the material things, but the thought behind it. He needed reminded that Blaine thought he was worth the effort. He ran his fingers through the soft coat of the toy.
"Well, I suppose it would be a nice change to not wake up alone. I do have a thing for curls, after all," he said, trying to walk the line between flirting and downright innuendo.
"Lucky fucking sheep," Blaine blurted out and turned a pleasant shade of red when he realized what he'd said. Kurt laughed, but he decided to let it go and started the car heading for home.
**KB**
Andrea arrived with her husband and little Lucas right on time that evening. Carole had been more than happy to fuss over the newborn and even Kurt who had put on last season's clothes just for the occasion held the baby. Kurt watched Blaine very carefully when it was his turn and was overwhelmed at the wonder and love on his face as he held his nephew. He could so easily picture Blaine as a father. They'd talked about it before, adopting children and raising a family in New York City. He hadn't let himself think about it in a long time.
The families seemed to get along very well over dinner and Kurt was feeling pretty good, despite the fact that Finn had decided he would help things along by hanging mistletoe all over the house. So far he had not ended up underneath the decorations with Blaine, but Finn had. Kurt could only consider that fitting karma. Finn, however, had merely shrugged and pulled Blaine into a one armed hug planting a kiss on the top of his head. It was brotherly, sweet, and made Kurt stop thinking of ways to injure Finn with the drumsticks for putting up the mistletoe in the first place.
Just as they were finishing up dessert Andrea turned to Blaine, "So do you need a few days to pack?"
Blaine looked at her, his eyebrows a deep v, "Pack?"
"To move in with Jon and me! I'm so glad the Hummels could let you stay, but you're not their problem. We're your family and you can stay in the guest room."
Kurt dropped his fork and looked at Blaine. Blaine obviously hadn't expected this either, as he was just staring at his sister with his mouth open. Kurt wasn't sure what to say, and looked quickly at his parents. Carole was biting her lip and his dad was putting his coffee cup on the table with what Kurt could tell was a fake calm.
He knew Blaine needed his family, but he was happy here. The Hummel-Hudson's had taken him in when his sister was ready to believe the worst about him. If he was honest Kurt would say that he needed more time with Blaine and if that made him selfish he could live with that.
"Now hold on just a minute," Burt said, "Blaine isn't a problem at all and he is legally in our care. This is home for as long as he wants it, and that doesn't stop at his birthday or graduation." His dad stopped to make sure Blaine was really listening before he went on, "Blaine is always welcome here."
His dad's gaze moved from Blaine to Kurt, "Isn't that right, Kurt?"
"Yes, for as long as he wants," Kurt said. He knew Blaine well enough that it wasn't much to promise. If things between them ever became so bad again they couldn't at least be friends Blaine would step aside gracefully once he had the freedom to do as he wished. Kurt didn't really see that happening. If for some reason they grew apart he thought they could stay on friendly terms. The only deal-breaker on friendship would be cheating, and since Blaine wouldn't even date other guys when they were broken up he wasn't too worried about that.
Kurt's dad spoke again, "That said, if Blaine would be more comfortable with you we can make the necessary arrangements."
At that moment everyone's eyes went to Blaine, who hadn't said anything through all of this.