Humble Beginnings of a Narcissist

[absolutenill]

Stories don't like to be written, they prefer to write themselves. I think of my life in terms of a story that started with my first real memory. I was a boy waking from a dream blinded by the light of the sun streaming in through the window. The warmth woke something inside of me and when the blindness wore off I felt I could see for the first

Comments

[absolutenill]

Heya Brooke. Yep, same ol Derek. I have an 11 month old that just took her first steps now and instead of bartending I'm running movie projectors.

I hope your career and personal life are progressing swimmingly.

[bowl9644]

I first realized I was going to die while listening to "Last Kiss" -- the original, not Pearl Jam -- long long ago in my mother's car somewhere outside Atlanta. In the middle of the night.
I've somehow managed to nevertheless remain non-serious. Most of the time anyway.

[bowl9644]

I think there's a mental clarity to it and in that moment you begin to decide whether or not you can accept it or whether you start looking for ways to avoid it. Like so many people attempt to "take it with them".

[bowl9644]

definite and sudden clarity, frightening in intensity and scope, it all zooms out like a bad movie with too many camera effects and you see how small you always were. and oh yes, you have a choice in that moment, and every moment thereafter, do you take it like a man so to speak, or do you cower and scheme and try to cheat death and taxes, run away from reality and take it with you, but in the end you're just pulling blankets over your head aren't you?