[Arashi] [Ohmiya] Time

[honooko]

[Title] Time
[Author] honooko
[Rating] R
[Notes] I wrote this whole thing, 10,075 words, in one sitting. Just in time for Jun's birthday!... and he's barely in it. Whaaaat. But seriously, Babykins!Ohmiya get-together for gimmick_game. I can't feel my right hand.

It was never the right time.

~

Ohno was nice, Nino thought. Kind of quiet, but he had this look about him; it was familiar. It took Nino a week to figure out why, but once he did, he couldn't stop seeing it. Ohno was like him. Or rather, thought like him. Obviously, they looked totally different, had totally different skill sets and skill levels, and Ohno generally did not try to sit in people's laps (although Nino suspected Ohno would be allowed, if he tried.) But Ohno laughed at the jokes Nino laughed at, for the same reasons. And on the rare occasions that Ohno talked, he had this unexpectedly quick wit that jarred with his image. It wasn't even that he was necessarily clever, either; no one expected him to be whipping out a quick tsukkomi response to someone else. But Ohno had this timing, this perfectly innocent expression, that was completely hilarious.

Nino liked funny people. He liked unintentionally funny people like Sho and Aiba, or purposefully funny people like Subaru and Jun. But Ohno was an entirely new (and interesting) breed of amusing; he always knew what to say to make Nino giggle. And if the giggle seemed to offend him, then he would simple tackle Nino to the floor and sit on him, tickling him until one of the older senpai told them they were being too loud.

It happened a lot, in the few weeks they worked together. Kyo to Kyo would be ending soon, but Nino tried not to think about it. Ohno lived in Kyoto; it wasn't like he'd be up in Tokyo all the time, like Subaru was. However much Nino enjoyed Ohno's company, they weren't likely to see each other very often, if at all.

Plus, Ohno said he was quitting.

"I just wanted to dance," Ohno said, shrugging when Nino asked him why. "I can do that. I don't need to do anything else."

It stung a bit, because Nino understood. He was nursing a savings account for his dream of running away to Hollywood to study filmmaking. Johnny's wasn't really in his long-term plans. If anything, the realization made it worse, because that meant instead of being a few hours of train ride apart, they'd be continents apart.

Nino hated losing people.

He'd weedled Ohno's mobile number out of him a week ago, but Ohno had warned him he pretty much never answered it, and while he had an email address, he forgot to check it for weeks at a time. He said no one ever really tried to get in touch with him except his mother, really.

Their looming separation would be a sudden and complete one.

In the final few days, Nino felt like something slimy was rolling around in his stomach. It clawed at his throat, wanting to escape, but Nino clamped his jaw tight and refused to let any of the inner ugliness out. He wanted everyone to be smiling, on the last day; he wasn't going to let some uncomfortable and immature feelings ruin it.

Crushes came and crushes went. Ohno was just easy to like, that was all. Everyone said so. He had a soothing presence, somehow. It wasn't like he was particularly responsible or anything, he just made things feel easier. So of course Nino would like him; Nino spent most of his life bouncing around between conflicting emotions. Staying in Johnny's, leaving Japan. Staying close to his family, avoiding his father at all costs. Being liked, not being disruptive. Being noticed, being forgotten.

Being surround by warm friends, or just living simply alone.

Ohno made all of that easier to deal with. It's not like they talked about it; honestly, they only really joked around. Serious conversations with Ohno were rare. But Ohno made difficult decisions and actions seem incredibly obvious and easy. If you don't want to go to high school, don't. If you want to study dance, go. If you want to be great at something, then learn. Ohno had fought for what he had, but his resolve had carried him through where nearly everyone else would have crumbled.

Nino envied him as much as he liked him.

During their final bows, Nino did not look at Ohno. He wanted to, but he didn't. Aiba was crying, which was good, because that meant Nino didn't have to. Or if he did, he could say it was just so Aiba wasn't alone.

They never really truly said good bye. Instead, Nino waited for Ohno to be packing up his things before slipping out the door.

It just… wasn't the right time for words.

~

A couple of months later, Ohno came back to Tokyo. Sho (who knew Yara, who knew Ohno) said it was pretty much a matter of days before Ohno turned in his official resignation and disappeared. It wasn't like he could just suddenly start going on TV programs with the other Jr's; nobody outside of Kyoto had really even heard of him. It would have been strange to throw him into it.

Nino didn't really want to talk about it. Or think about it. He couldn't decide if it was the uncertainty of the situation, or the certainty. It was sort of both, and that made him uncomfortable.

He and Sho decided that now was as good a time as any to quit too. Sho had school and Nino had… vague plans. They'd gone into Johnny's office with every intention of ending their contracts fully and completely.

Until they saw their names on the list.

"'Question'?" Sho snorted. "What kind of group has a punctuation mark as a name, anyway?"

"He wants us to debut," Nino said softly. Sho put the paper down.

"…Should we try it?" Sho said, just as soft. Nino knew that Sho would do whatever Nino did; the choice was his.

He hated that.

Nino didn't like decisions. Sometimes they were wrong. Sho was his friend; what right did Nino have to make decisions for him? What if he screwed it up? Sho's life could be ruined, or at least impeded. This was debut, not lunch plans. It was serious and what Every Junior Dreams Of.

What right did Nino have to decide Sho couldn't have that?

"Arashi… that's kind of cool, I guess," Nino said at last.

That settled it. They were staying, at least for now.

"I wonder who else it'll be," Sho wondered as they snuck back out of the office.

It wasn't until they were on a yacht in Hawaii that they got an answer. Aiba was alternating between about to explode from excitement, and about to throw up from nervousness. Nino was also about to throw up, but that had less to do with nerves and more to do with how horrifically seasick he was. Jun was taking it all more or less in stride, or at least hiding his unease very well. He was also hovering around Sho a lot, because Jun worshipped the ground Sho walked on, and if Sakurai-kun was going to do something and be vaguely responsible, then Jun was too, obviously.

Ohno was mostly confused.

"How did you not know?" Nino asked. His voice was a little rough because he'd already thrown up twice. The film crew was waiting for his breakfast to officially and completely vacate his body before they started shooting the debut footage.

"I just sang it," Ohno said. "Johnny-san didn't say anything about debuting!"

"You have solo lines," Nino pointed out, completely astounded that Ohno had somehow not noticed at all that he was being prepared for a unit debut. Admittedly, Aiba hadn't known until he was on the plane, but Aiba wasn't very good at critical listening, so it was easier to believe that he hadn't put two and two together.

"I'm good at singing," Ohno said simply. It wasn't a boast; he was. They all knew it. It was just a fact. "I thought they just needed a good voice."

Nino would have argued with him more, but the last of his breakfast was about to make a comeback, so he just threw himself into the boat's bathroom again. Strangely, Ohno hung around the doorway as Nino emptied his stomach violently.

"Okay?" Ohno asked when Nino seemed to have finished. He held out a hand towel for Nino to wipe his mouth on.

"Okay," Nino said, grimacing. "But I want to hurry and get the hell off this thing."

Ohno held his hand and walked him to the top deck. Nino held on; somehow, as long as Ohno's hand was in his, he felt a tiny bit better. When Ohno's other hand looped around his waist, he felt even better.

He almost said something, but decided against it. Later, when they weren't about to have their world debut.

It just wasn't a good time.

~

The first few months were, honestly, pretty awkward.

It got easier; Aiba learned to look before he leaped, or at least stop trying to be so obnoxiously helpful, because he kept breaking things with his boundless enthusiasm. Jun learned to tone down his deep and unending worship of Sho, and actually turned out to be very good at leadership and planning when he got serious. Sho was, slowly, learning the opposite: he relaxed a little more each day, and was gradually becoming more like the Sho Nino knew in private and less like a stiff and humorless drone-boy.

Nino was learning that he could annoy Ohno and get him extremely flustered just by grabbing his ass when he wasn't really expecting it. Which was pretty much always, Sho commented, because who the hell walks around expecting their male friends to start molesting them?

As irritated as Ohno got when Nino did this, he still couldn't quite bring himself to stop. The urge to touch was always pretty strong when Nino was around his friends (and they were his friends, even if everyone wasn't quite on the same page of comfort levels yet) but Ohno's reactions were so unlike his usual ones that Nino kept doing it. He discovered he kind of liked being able to change Ohno's demeanor so drastically; it was a kind of power over the moderately stable rock that was their unlikely and accidental leader.

Ohno also had a really nice ass, but Nino was determined to pretend this was merely an inconsequential side note.

Nino was also starting to develop a sense of timing for it. When things got a little too stressful and people were getting short with each other, Nino found that if he touched Ohno's butt and made him jump and snap, people laughed. People relaxed. And for all Ohno's fuss, he didn't usually stay mad for more than a few minutes, although he was certainly more wary.

"You're going to drive him up the wall," Jun warned. Nino looked at him, and Jun blushed and looked away.

"You are generally the expert on driving people up walls," Nino snorted. Jun punched him in the arm a bit harder than was strictly friendly, but Nino knew the statement had not been negatively received; he was much better about not being Sho's shadow these days, and certainly more aware of it.

But Nino didn't learn; or at least, he didn't care. Ohno was quickly getting used to Nino's presence; he'd long since accepted the fact that Nino was more or less always within arm's reach of him, and it only took three days for him to stop being surprised when Nino held his hand. It bothered Nino that he was so easily taken for granted; unexpected assaults on Ohno's ass and dignity were the only lasting method of being noticed he had.

One day, as they were working through a particularly grueling choreography rehearsal, Nino crossed a line. Jun seemed to only be able to speak in harsh criticisms of himself and everyone around him. Sho had stopped talking entirely, because everything he said sounded sharp and angry. Even Aiba was showing the frustration; he'd had to take two "water breaks" (the code for someone at their tolerance limit needing some air) within an hour. Ohno was actually messing up steps with enough frequency for the choreographer to snap at him.

They were given a ten minute break, and as they walked towards their towels and water bottles, Nino reached out and pawed.

"Don't," Ohno said. Everyone froze; no one had heard that tone in his voice before. He was genuinely angry. "Just stop doing that," he continued, still in that voice that was so unlike him.

Nino instinctively pulled in on himself; he stepped back, brought his limbs close to his body, and crossed his arms defensively across his chest. It was an entirely unconscious reactionary behavior, a physical declaration of received threat. It was fear, and guilt and shame, all rolled into one mess that hit him suddenly and left him grasping for words.

Sho and Aiba knew him best; they read his body language and looked across the group, trying to read the others and diffuse the situation. But there was no fixing it; Nino had made Ohno angry, plain and simple. He had gone too far.

But he couldn't even manage to apologize. The words were circling in his head, but he couldn't make his mouth work. He couldn't explain, he couldn't assure Ohno that it wouldn't happen again. He couldn't even say 'sorry', even though he was. His brain had gone on complete lockdown the instant he heard the tone in Ohno's voice and seen the flash of true anger in his eyes.

Nino looked away, and walked out of the room, his arms still crossed tightly across his chest. He made it to the bathroom before coming apart. He didn't cry (he never cried; it never helped) but his hands were shaking and his stomach was in knots. It was like when he made his mother mad, but worse. A hundred, thousand times worse, because it was Ohno.

There weren't enough apologies in the world to make him feel any better about it.

When his hands stopped shaking (at least visibly; his body was still shivering somewhat) Nino stepped out of the bathroom.

Ohno was squatting against the wall, just outside the door. He looked up when Nino came out-his face was almost grim. Nino braced against the words he knew were coming, the words that would hurt so much just to hear, just because they came from Ohno.

"Are you okay?" Ohno asked; Nino was surprised to hear Ohno's normal voice. He nodded, not quite trusting his mouth to do things correctly.

Ohno stood and held out his hand. Nino stared at it as though it was some strange and mysterious thing, before slowly taking it.

"I'm sorry," Nino said, the words tumbling out his mouth so quickly, he didn't realize he was the one who'd spoken until after they were out. Ohno smiled and squeezed Nino's hand, and they started walking back to the rehearsal hall.

"Me too," he said. Nino wanted to tell him he didn't have to be; it was all Nino's fault. Nino held the sole blame here-there was no reason for Ohno to apologize. Nino had just… pushed too much, and he shouldn't have. He wouldn't do it again. He just wanted Ohno to notice him and pay attention to him; he just wanted Ohno to like him back.

Nino's feet stopped moving abruptly. Ohno looked back over his shoulder as Nino became a sudden deadweight at the end of his arm.

Back.

Like him back.

Like him back.

"Nino?" Ohno asked softly. He was treating Nino like something fragile and precious-Nino liked it, and suddenly he knew why. "What's wrong?"

Nothing, Nino thought, I just realized I like you in a non-platonic sense. And I owe Jun a huge apology because I am possibly the biggest hypocrite on the face of the planet.

But Ohno was being so nice-holding his hand, talking to him gently… Ohno was pretending that Nino hadn't upset him. If anything, he was being nicer than he'd been before the entire thing occurred. If Nino said something-said anything-that would stop.

And it might not come back.

Nino couldn't bring himself to break this strange spell of kindness, so he didn't say anything at all. He just started walking again, trusting Ohno to ignore the momentary freeze as though it hadn't happened.

It wasn't a good time, that's all.

~

Their first concert was going to kill them all.

Nino had decided this after the second time Aiba showed up with a 38° fever, Jun didn't eat for 15 hours straight, and Sho fell asleep standing up in the shower (before falling and almost breaking his neck; Jun hovered outside the stall waffling between running in and making sure he was okay, and avoiding any situation in which he was alone with Sho when they were both naked.)

Ohno slept whenever they weren't doing something else: between rehearsals, in the car on the way to venues-sometimes even during meetings. They discovered Ohno's ability to sleep with his eyes open when a manager asked him the same question four times in a row and he didn't even blink.

Nino was pretty tired himself; none of it was easy, and they all knew the importance of getting this right. Their first concert would define them as a group for the next year, if not longer. They were new enough that they didn't have a very firm fanbase; people didn't know who they were yet. They didn't know who they were yet. The concert would give the audience the answer.

Which meant the five of them had to know it, too.

Sometimes they talked about it when the managers weren't around. It was hard to be creative and get serious about your future when there were adults around who were determined to lay it all out for you. They'd agreed on that much: they wanted Arashi to be something they made, not the management team.

There was one critical moment: one of the producers had talked about using a song that none of them wanted. Sho (the only one who they really trusted to put their feelings into words properly) brought up the issue and made it clear that while they were of course endlessly grateful for the support and help given, Arashi was going to be made by them. And in order for that to happen, they needed to be allowed to make some decisions themselves.

Impressed, the management let them have their way. Johnny-san had laughed and said to Sho, "You-you're dedicated. I like that."

Nino realized that he, Sho, and Ohno seemed to have dropped their plans to leave somewhere along the way. The idea of them abandoning Arashi now, when it was still young and naïve and new, seemed cruel. Why let something die before it's even really lived? Without consciously meaning to, they all began to think of themselves as Arashi, for now and for as long as they could be. It was a strangely warm feeling.

When the concerts finally started, Nino felt like he'd spent his entire life preparing for this first and great moment. This was the day he'd step onto the stage and magically, they would be Arashi: great and popular and united.

It didn't quite work that way.

Mistakes were made; it was inevitable. They couldn't prepare for everything, and it was everyone's first time being the center stage act. Sometimes they messed it up. Aiba forgot dance steps, and Sho just plain got them wrong. Any ability Jun may have had to stay in tune seemed to disappear the minute he got on stage, and his feedback monitor only vaguely helped. Ohno kept forgetting to smile, and the first few reviews commented on the fact that all five of them had trouble remembering to look like they were happy to be there.

They were, but they were also thinking about entirely too many things at the same time to possibly keep their expressions in a fixed mask of joy. Ohno's default expression was a blank stare; it was easily misread as utter boredom.

Nino had a wide variety of problems. He remember the choreo, but he never managed to do it with the precision that their choreographer wanted (and Ohno managed without breaking a sweat.) He also had trouble holding onto the mic for the entire performance. A quick hospital visit determined that his accident as a junior had damaged his hand to a degree that weakened it. After a while, he just lost his grip entirely. A hands-free mic had to be found and he had to learn how to use it correctly. It was exhausting.

To make matters worse, they were travelling far enough to require hotel stays. Nino hated hotels; he hated sleeping anywhere that wasn't home. His family was more important to him than anything else and being apart from them ripped a hole inside of him and drained his energy even further. Nino could never sleep comfortably in hotels-the beds felt too cold, too rough, too strange.

"Me too," Ohno said when Nino shared his woes. "I keep thinking about how the pillows don't smell right."

"You lived in Kyoto for two years," Nino said. "That's a long time to be away from home, and you did okay."

"Not really," Ohno said. "I cried a lot; I called home every day. I did it, but I was never happy with it."

It was that insight into Ohno's mind that drove Nino to seek comfort in him. Or rather, in his bed.

His intentions were, he insisted internally, pure.

Nino knew Ohno was sharing a room with Sho; he always did. Nino, Aiba and Jun shared another, and usually Nino and Aiba shared a bed. Jun was a fussy and light sleeper, and Aiba didn't mind if Nino ended up wrapped around him at some point during the night. But Aiba's warmth wasn't as comforting as Nino wanted it to be. If anything, it just made him miss home more. So he crept out of bed, out of their room, and shuffled next door.

It took him three full minutes to gather up the courage to knock. For a long moment, everything was quiet, and he was sure Ohno and Sho were fast asleep. But then the door opened a crack, revealing Ohno's tired face. Nino squashed the little voice in his head that claimed Ohno's eyes brightened a bit when they saw him.

"Sorry," Nino said. "I know it's late."

Ohno blinked slowly. Nino wondered if he was actually awake, or just sleep-walking with a high level of outward function. But then Ohno stepped back, opening the door and waving Nino inside silently. Nino followed immediately, relief washing over him like a wave. He wasn't sure what he would have done if Ohno had closed the door on him. Instead, Ohno reached out a hand for Nino to take, and led him to the bed. He gestured Nino in first, nudging him in the shoulder until there was room for them both and getting under the covers with him. For a heartbeat, Nino wondered if they were going to have to spend the entire night focusing on not letting any parts of their bodies touch, but Ohno scooted closer and draped an arm across Nino's waist. From there, it was easy for Nino to curl into him, pushing a knee between Ohno's legs and burying his nose against Ohno's neck.

"Sleep," Ohno murmured against his hair, warm and understanding.

Every night before bed, when he said good night, Nino told his mother that he loved her. She always said it back. The small part of him that would always be his mother's son wanted to stick to the script, and without meaning to, Nino's mouth opened to say it. But he caught himself just before the sounds came out, and just mouthed them silently against Ohno's skin.

It was a bad time to say it out loud, even if he kind of wanted to.

~

He woke up when Ohno did, but he pretended he hadn't. He wanted to stay right where he was as long as Ohno would let him; for now, it seemed like Ohno was perfectly content staying still in bed with Nino asleep on his chest. Nino turned his head just a bit, away from the light in the bathroom that Sho (damned early riser) had turned on, and into Ohno's neck. He felt Ohno's little chuckle, then something utterly incredible happened.

Ohno's fingers started stroking his hair.

It wasn't as though he was petting Nino like some overgrown cat or anything-just a soft, gentle movement of fingers brushing against his scalp. Hesitant at first, but getting more sure, Ohno was brushing the hair away from Nino's face and around the curve of his ear; it felt so, so wonderful. Any tension that may have been lingering in his body even through sleep just melted away. He really did fall back asleep as Ohno's fingers ran through his hair, calming and rhythmic.

He woke up again to Sho's voice asking Ohno a question. He said it quietly enough that Nino didn't catch it; he only woke up because Ohno answered, and positioned the way he was, Nino could feel the vibrations when Ohno spoke.

"It's fine," Ohno was saying. "I don't mind."

"I'm sure you could wake him up now," Sho said, sounding apologetic. No! Nino thought. Let me stay!

"It's okay," Ohno said again. "We've got another ten minutes." His fingers started moving again-the next ten minutes were the happiest of Nino's life (that he could, at that moment, remember.)

When Ohno finally did wake him up, Nino wanted to kiss him. Or at least tell him that he was an amazingly wonderful person that Nino loved an awful lot, for everything.

But there was a knock on the door; the manager was calling for them to all get up. Ohno let go abruptly, got out of bed, and went to the bathroom without looking back. He left Nino behind in the bed, still half-asleep and mourning the loss of physical comfort.

But there just wasn't time right now.

~

Slowly, they improved. By the final three performances, they had found their sweet spot and concerts went from a stressful event to a thrilling one. Adrenaline surged through their bodies and suddenly, two and half hours felt like barely half. They were smiling real smiles and earning themselves real excitement from the crowd, and at last, it seemed like they were showing the world the Arashi they wanted to be.

After the end of their first-ever second encore, they all crowded backstage buzzing with energy and nerves strung to the absolute limit. Aiba was shouting wordlessly and being matched with a shout from Jun; they ran down the hallway shouting back and forth and making total fools of themselves. Sho was laughing, but as Aiba ran by he stole Sho's water bottle out of his hands and with a whoop, took off sprinting. Sho and Jun immediately went tearing after him.

Nino couldn't stop smiling. It felt like his face had gotten stuck in a permanent ecstatic grin, but he didn't even care. They had done it. People had enjoyed themselves and cheered for them. The show had been the best they'd ever put on; Nino was pretty sure nothing could top this feeling.

Ohno was laughing; he kept stumbling as he walked, bumping into Nino and knocking them both around. It made Nino laugh too, and they wandered back towards the green room staggering like a pair of giggly drunks. Nino felt drunk, or at least what he thought drunkenness must feel like: like the world is a wonderful, bright place and you are breathing pure sunshine.

"Nino," Ohno wheezed through laughter. "Nino!"

He tripped again, and Nino stumbled as Ohno's weight pushed him sideways. His back hit the wall, and suddenly Ohno was right there: the wall, Nino, and him. Close enough to see the beads of sweat on Ohno's forehead and feel his heart pounding through his ribcage.

Or maybe that was Nino's heart.

It didn't last long; Ohno's expression flickered for a second, like a loose light bulb being jarred in its socket, before he pushed himself off the wall and away, taking off down the hallway again. Nino let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding before following.

"Oh-chan," he called out, reaching his hand out to catch Ohno's. But Ohno looked over his shoulder then took off running; Nino had to scramble to follow and catch up.

No matter how fast he ran, he never got quite close enough to touch.

It definitely was not the right time to say it.

~

Nino showed up at Ohno and Sho's door again that night. He'd honestly intended to keep it a one-time thing, but after tossing and turning for forty minutes and getting kicked by an unusually-restless Aiba, Nino decided to hell with it. Ohno answered again, but instead of opening the door promptly, he hesitated. Nino tell by his face he was trying to make a decision about something; it seemed easier to just make it for him.

"Nevermind," Nino said, forcing his voice to sound cheerful instead of utterly rejected. "It's fine, I'll just make Aiba-chan move over. Sorry to wake you."

But as he turned away, Ohno's hand shot out and caught his right wrist. Both of them stared at their hands, and Nino realized both of them were surprised. Evidently, Ohno hadn't really meant to do it anymore than Nino had been expecting it.

"Nino," Ohno said, breaking the strange silence. "It's fine. Come on."

"Are you sure?" Nino said, annoyed at how small and hopeful he sounded when he said it. Ohno's expression turned warm, and he tugged at Nino's wrist.

"Yeah, I don't mind. Hurry up, it's cold out here."

Nino didn't need to be told twice. He followed Ohno inside, marveling at how tightly Ohno was holding his wrist. He seemed almost afraid Nino might run away if he let go. Nino wanted suddenly to reassure Ohno that he wasn't going anywhere, so he stepped forward and wrapped his left arm around Ohno's waist, bending his neck so his face was against Ohno's nape.

Ohno froze.

Nino wondered if he'd done something very, very stupid. But he also didn't let go; he wanted Ohno to know he was staying, and he sure as hell couldn't say that out loud. After a beat, Ohno seemed to soften in Nino's hold, and his grip on Nino's wrist loosened somewhat.

"Bedtime?" Nino said gently into Ohno's neck.

"Bedtime," Ohno agreed, turning slightly in Nino's hold so he could see him smile. Ohno's hand dropped Nino's wrist and drifted to his face, brushing the hair out of his eyes. Nino automatically turned his face into the gesture, pleased, but the movement jerked Ohno out of whatever reverie he'd been in-he pulled away. Tonight, he got in bed first, facing away from Nino.

Nino climbed in after him, trying not to read too much into Ohno's body language, but it was hard to feel his warmth across the sheets and know that sometime in between this night and last, Ohno had decided Nino couldn't get as close anymore. Nino wanted to ask him what had changed, but Ohno's breathing had deepened; he seemed to have fallen asleep.

Despite Ohno's presence, it took Nino much longer to fall asleep that night. Either way, it was a bad time to want to talk.

~

The second-to-last concert went even better than the previous night; when Aiba took off running down the hall to the green room after, Nino launched himself onto Aiba's back, and the two of them made a great deal of noise as they galloped down the hall. Sho kept shouting at them to be careful, and Jun kept apologizing to the staff members they almost ran over. Nino didn't know precisely where Ohno was, but he was too wound-up to really care.

He took longer in the showers than he usually did. His hands-free mic had broken halfway during the performance, and he'd been forced to switch to a regular one; his hand didn't want to close firmly enough on things to be very useful. He fumbled with the shampoo awkwardly; he'd forgotten how hard it was to do things one-handed. The bottle dropped onto his foot, and he cursed loudly.

"You okay?" Nino heard Ohno ask from just outside the stall. Nino had half a second to think Don't come in! before Ohno had pulled the curtain aside. Nino did not turn around; he didn't dare.

"Fine!" he said. It sounded a bit squeaky; Ohno made a skeptical-sounding noise and picked up the bottle.

"Do you need help?" he asked. Nino waffled; on the one hand, he was never going to get clean by himself. On the other, he was naked, and presumably Ohno was too. At seventeen, Nino was very sure this could not possibly end without some mutual humiliation, but Ohno wasn't waiting for him to decide. He entered the stall fully, letting the curtain fall closed, before squirting shampoo into his hands.

"Head back, eyes closed," he said softly, and Nino obeyed. What else could he do? Ohno's fingers through his hair was quickly turning into a guilty pleasure, especially when his nails scratched against his scalp. Nino could not help the slightly strangled groan that escaped his throat, but Ohno just laughed.

"Good?" he said. Nino made a wordless noise of approval. Ohno finished scrubbing, saying, "Okay, rinse!" as he held the shower nozzle over Nino's head. Once the suds were gone, he put the nozzle back; Nino automatically turned around.

He instantly remembered why he hadn't turned around before now.

It wasn't the first time they'd seen each other nude. But there had been other people around, and there was distance between them. Now, face to face, Nino was uncomfortably aware of Ohno's body. He swallowed hard, and willed his eyes to float over Ohno's shoulder onto something harmless. With any luck, Ohno would grab them both towels and Nino would be covered before anything embarrassing should occur.

Ohno's breath hitched oddly. Nino frowned, his attention drawn back to Ohno's face-but Ohno wasn't looking at him. He was looking very firmly at the tiles on the wall behind Nino's head.

For a reason Nino could never quite explain, he stepped forward, closing the already short distance between them even further. They did not quite touch, but Ohno's breath had definitely sped up, and Nino was starting to wonder if it was the hot water that left him looking just slightly flushed. He watched a drop of water slide down Ohno's jaw and bead up, falling as Ohno swallowed.

Nino raised his eyes to Ohno's, but Ohno wasn't looking at Nino's eyes.

He was looking at his chin.

No, Nino decided. Not his chin. His lips.

People stared at other people's lips for two reasons: either they had food on their mouths, or they had very attractive lips. Nino hadn't eaten since lunch, so he could rule that one out pretty easily. But that left the apparent fact that Ohno was admiring his mouth. When combined with the other observable features of Ohno's condition, the only reasonable conclusion that Nino could come up with was that Ohno was-

Kissing him.

Ohno had moved so quickly, Nino hadn't even had time to prepare before Ohno's lips met his. It was not a still and awkward-looking kiss like the kind in dramas; Ohno's mouth was moving, and Nino's moved in response, and Nino felt him exhale, and he gave up entirely on restraining himself. There was no point, none at all, not if Ohno was going to press him against the wall of the shower stall and kiss him like Nino tasted better than all his favorite foods combined. Nino's hand clenched on Ohno's upper arm, a soft gasp slipping out as he adjusted the angle; his brain hadn't had time to catch up with his body yet. Ohno nipped at Nino's lips and for a second, Nino thought he was father gone than he'd thought, because he heard a groan-which he realized with a start had come from Ohno.

Suddenly, the entire situation came crashing down on his head. Ohno had him pinned against a wall and was kissing him, with no apparent care or intention to stop. Nino did not exactly mind this, but he did feel that some explanation was in order.

But then Ohno was licking at his mouth, and Nino gave up on rational thought and put all his efforts towards making out. Ohno's hands were planted on the wall on either side of his waist, and Nino rolled his body forward, seeking touch; he found it. He also found irrefutable evidence that Ohno was enjoying this as much as he was-the mere thought made him groan in appreciation.

But-completely unfairly and utterly without warning-Ohno stopped. Disappointed, Nino dropped a kiss against Ohno's jaw, hoping to draw him back in, but Ohno was-he was pulling away?! Was he crazy? Things were just getting really good and he-

Ohno stepped back from the wall; Nino moved forward, but Ohno was already backing out of the stall. His mouth was hanging open (Bruised red, wow, we were really going at it, Nino thought) and he looked like someone had just socked him in the gut. Only more aroused. His jaw moved, as though he was trying to speak, but no sound came out.

Then Ohno turned around, grabbed a towel off the bench, and left.

Nino found himself alone, wet and cold, more turned on than he'd ever been in his life and absolutely nothing to show for it.

"Wait," he said sarcastically into the empty room. "Don't go, I love you."

There really was no reason to say it.

~

"Where the hell have you been?" Jun snapped when Nino came out, finally feeling as though he could comfortably wear pants.

"Please do not ask me that," Nino said. He felt exhausted; he felt like someone had dangled his wildest dreams in front of him and then yanked them away again.

Actually, that was pretty much what had happened.

"Did you faceplant in the wall?" Aiba asked. "Your mouth is reall-" He stopped abruptly.

Nino put his face in his hands and prayed for patience.

"…Okay, I didn't actually see that one coming," Aiba admitted.

"You and me both," Nino growled.

"What? Oh god no, I don't want to know. Don't tell me anything!" Jun said, clapping his hands over his ears and storming out. Aiba laughed, picking up Jun's bag and running after him, shouting obscene words at random.

Sho and Ohno had already left. Nino was glad; he had no idea how he was going to handle Ohno now. Before, he'd been able to more or less keep a handle on his emotions. But now? He grimaced; even thinking about what had transpired had his body reacting. He forced his mind onto other things, if only so the ride to the hotel wouldn't be spent in complete humiliation. Jun wouldn't say anything, even if he noticed, but Aiba would never relinquish the opportunity to talk about erections.

Nino did not feel like saying anything to Ohno ever again.

~

"Nino, you'll be with Ohno," Sho said, handing him the card key. Nino looked at him as though Sho had just ordered him to shoot his mother.

"What?! No! Jun and Aiba! I sleep with Jun and Aiba!" he protested, grabbing onto Jun's hand and crushing it.

"Ow! Let go, you're breaking my fingers!"

"Actually, you've been sleeping with Ohno, regardless of rooming arrangements," Sho pointed out. Aiba snickered at his wording, and Sho took a brief moment to shoot him a warning look. No perversion in the lobby, perverted pervert-face.

At least, that's what Sho was thinking in Nino's head.

"But-Ohno wants to share with you!" Nino attempted bravely.

"Ohno's probably already in bed; he said he was really tired and went straight up. Here you go!" Sho said brightly, shoving the key into Nino's hand and pushing him down the hall.

"Sleep well!" Aiba said. Nino could hear the leer. He also heard Jun smack Aiba on the back of the head.

Facing the door, Nino was having flashbacks to the previous two nights. Both times, Ohno had let him in. He'd acted very differently the second night, and Nino was pretty sure he knew why, now. But even if he had been… attracted to Nino, why did he let him in? Why did he let Nino get so close if he knew what effect it would have on him?

Nino looked at the card key, then back at the door. Taking a deep breath, he knocked.

He'd counted to fifty-six when the door finally opened. Ohno looked out, clearly expecting Sho; his expression changed sharply when he realized it was Nino. For a heartbeat, Nino thought he was going to shut the door in Nino's face.

"We're roomies," Nino said quickly, holding up the key. "Can I come in?"

Ohno gave the key an alarmed look.

"Please?" Nino added softly.

The door opened, and he stepped inside. Ohno shut it behind him; the room was instantly dark. Ohno groped at the wall and turned on the light; Nino almost wished he hadn't, because now he had to look Ohno in the eye.

He could feel his ears turning pink.

Ohno looked about as awkward as Nino felt; he couldn't seem to decide what to look at, and his gaze jumped from Nino's lips, to his eyes, to the wall, to the lamp, and to the floor. Seeing Ohno so uncomfortable stirred feeling of sympathy that his tragically abandoned hard-on had previously smothered; Nino sat on one of the beds (the one Ohno must have been lying in, he realized, judging by the undone covers) and patted next to him.

Ohno looked at him dubiously; Nino moved his hand farther away from his body and patted again, granting distance. Ohno seem mollified, because he sat down where Nino had indicated, but his eyes remained glued on his feet.

"Ohno," Nino said quietly. "Oh-chan."

Ohno didn't respond.

"What is this, the silent treatment?" Nino said, feeling suddenly irritated with Ohno's avoidance.

"There's nothing to say," Ohno said.

Well, that was complete bullshit.

"Actually, there is," Nino snapped. As he spoke, his tone got more and more angry; he wasn't shouting, but there was no doubt that he was distinctly unhappy. "You see, I'm not the one who came into your shower and came on to you before turning around and then leaving you standing there all wound up without a word about any of it at all."

Ohno winced. Nino almost felt bad; almost. His groin did not forgive quite so readily.

"I didn't-that wasn't supposed to happen," Ohno attempted awkwardly.

"I knew that already," Nino said.

"You weren't supposed to find out," Ohno continued, and Nino's interest was suddenly piqued.

"Find out… what, exactly?" Nino said. "Because I don't know if you remember, but you never actually explained any of this before you jumped me."

"I'm really sorry," Ohno said; he sounded honestly pained, like he thought he'd done something completely unforgiveable. His voice, his expression-everything suggested Ohno honestly thought he had hurt Nino deeply. Ohno sounded like he'd done something wrong.

Which he had, just not the thing he thought.

"Ohno," Nino said. "You can kiss me whenever you want to."

Ohno's mouth fell open; Nino almost laughed. He was still a little too annoyed to find the situation humorous.

"In fact, I would encourage it. Kiss me tons. Use as much tongue as you see fit," he continued. It was starting to get kind of funny; Ohno's eyes were getting wider and wider. Nino hadn't been able to surprise him this much since he'd started grabbing his ass.

"But if you ever leave me standing there so turned on I cannot walk, let alone leave the shower and get dressed, I will cut your dick off myself," Nino growled.

"If it makes you feel any better," Ohno said sheepishly, "Sho thinks I sprained my knee 'cause I was walking funny."

"Nothing makes a raging hard-on feel better short of following through," Nino insisted.

Ohno raised an eyebrow. Nino felt his nose turn pink.

Of course he'd meant it. He'd been thinking it, he'd been ready for it; he just-hadn't exactly proposed it out loud before. Thinking about having sex with Ohno and having sex with Ohno were two entirely separate things. Kind of.

Ohno shifted closer. Nino was staring at his lap, shivering as he felt Ohno's eyes settle on him. Something made him nervous; he shut his eyes tightly, as though it would somehow protect him.

He felt Ohno's fingers slide through his hair.

"Nino," Ohno said softly; Nino opened his eyes. Ohno was looking at him so warmly, so gently. Is this what he looked like the other day, when he let me sleep? Did he look this hopelessly sappy? Did he look like he cared this much?

Well.

Now was as good a time as any.

"I like you," Nino said quietly, his eyes locked on Ohno's. "A lot."

Ohno leaned forward to kiss him, but Nino stopped him with a hand on his lips.

"Nope," he said. "You have to tell me the truth first."

"You said I could kiss you whenever I want," Ohno protested weakly.

"You can," Nino said, "once you tell me if I'm about to have my sweet young heart utterly broken."

"You are not sweet," Ohno said.

"If you want to kiss me anytime this century," Nino said, annoyed, "then tell me the truth."

"I like you," Ohno said, exasperated. "Of course I like you; it's not like I jump everyone."

"You might have," Nino said, pleased despite his words. "You could be a malicious shower-molester."

"Nino," Ohno said, holding both of Nino's hands down on the bed. "You should stop talking."

"Why shou-" Nino started, cut off by Ohno's lips. He wasn't particularly bothered by the interruption, especially as it continued. Nino pulled his hands free to wind his arms around Ohno's neck, and Ohno's hands slid under his shirt and up his back. Nino shivered at the unexpected skin-on-skin contact. He arched, Ohno's hold encouraging him to lean his head back. Ohno wasted no time in nipping down the column of Nino's throat, licking each bite to soothe it as he went. Nino choked, twisting his fingers in Ohno's hair in an effort to ground himself on something, on anything.

And then someone knocked on the door.

Ohno lifted his head, and Nino almost screamed. Instead, he tightened his hold on Ohno's hair and hissed, "If you get up, you are not coming back tonight."

Wisely, Ohno called out, "Who is it?"

"Aiba," Aiba called brightly. "Nino forgot his phone!"

Nino swore. Ohno laughed, burying the sound against Nino's neck. Enraged, Nino pulled himself free, stomped to the door, and threw it open.

"Yes?!" he snapped.

Aiba handed him his phone… and a small ziploc bag underneath. Nino lifted it to examine it and saw-oh. Well. That was… awfully nice of Aiba to bring over. Aiba wiggled his eyebrows meaningfully.

"Sleep well!" he chirped, and left. Nino shut the door. He returned to the bed, and Ohno reached out to guide him; he lay on his back, pulling Nino to straddle him, kneeling over Ohno's hips. Ohno's hands found their way to Nino's waist, then lower.

"Aiba brought us something," Nino said, holding the bag aloft.

"Oh?"

"I'm not going to ask why he carries condoms and lube around, but it was nice of him to remember, I guess," Nino said, opening it and dumping the contents on the bedspread next to Ohno's head. "Although now we get the awkward conversation about who gets to top."

"You're on top right now," Ohno pointed out. "I'm enjoying it."

"I noticed," Nino said blithely, grinding his hips down. It earned him a gasp, which he felt was worth the effort. He wasn't sure if you could be sexually sarcastic, but it was worth a try.

"Up to you," Ohno said, the words a bit thicker than before. "I'm easy."

"Again: I noticed," Nino said, planting his hands on either side of Ohno's head and grinning down at him. Ohno took the chance to drag his hands up Nino's sides, pulling his shirt up as he went. Nino shuddered, goosebumps rising across his skin. It was tempting; he did enjoy this sort of control over Ohno. It would probably be a lot more than just fun to be the one winding Ohno up and dragging it out as long as he could stand.

But Ohno's hands had just slid back down to his ass and squeezed, and that was honestly a very unfair tactic.

"You," Nino decided, dropping to his elbows and nosing at Ohno's ear. "Please."

"You sure?" Ohno said, using his hold on Nino to grind them together again. Nino groaned and nipped at Ohno's earlobe in warning.

"Very. I'm sick of waiting," he said. Ohno laughed; Nino wasn't sure when everything Ohno did became sexy, including chuckling, but he couldn't really complain. Ohno sat up, and Nino slid off his lap, pulling off the t-shirt Ohno had so helpfully pushed up around his armpits already. He reached for his jeans button, but Ohno's hand stopped him. He pulled Nino forward by his belt loops, dropping a handful of kisses down Nino's stomach as he popped the button, pushing the jeans down Nino's hips. Nino twisted his hands in Ohno's hair again, a sharp gasp leaving his throat as Ohno nosed his erection through his underwear.

"If you don't cut that out," Nino hissed weakly, "this will be over before it even gets started."

Ohno kissed his cock, and Nino resisted the urge to scream in frustration. They were getting somewhere, this time. Slowly. Very, very slowly.

"You really should learn some patience, Nino," Ohno said, pulling back so Nino was free to strip entirely.

"You really should catch up," Nino replied. "I'm already naked."

Ohno pulled off his t-shirt while Nino went for his belt. Both hit the floor at the same time, and Nino had one hand down Ohno's underwear before Ohno had the chance to blink. He moaned, dropping his head to Nino's shoulder and mouthing at his neck.

"Nino," Ohno said as Nino rolled his palm. "Stop."

"Now you know how I feel," Nino said, removing his hand and letting Ohno get properly naked. Once that was accomplished, he felt no guilt whatsoever in wrapping his hand around Ohno's cock and stroking firmly. The noise that Ohno made was entirely worth it.

"Seriously," Ohno said, and Nino shivered at his tone; it was practically dripping sex and arousal. He was about to have a very, very good lay, that was for sure.

"Are you going to bang me anytime tonight?" Nino drawled. "Time's a wasting."

With a combination of clever footwork and maneuvered body weight, Ohno quite suddenly knocked Nino backwards onto the bed; he immediately crawled up Nino's body in a remarkably predatory fashion, and Nino was struck by the thought that Ohno was a dancer. Not only did he have excellent rhythm, he also had impeccable muscle control.

Fuck.

"Pushy bottom," Ohno said. He really did sound like sex; it was kind of ridiculous if Nino thought about it too hard. Fortunately he preferred to think about other things, like how Ohno was groping blindly with one hand for Aiba's thoughtful gift.

"Here," Nino said, pushing the condom into Ohno's hand helpfully. Ohno sat back, fumbling a bit with the wrapper before finally getting it open. Nino sat up on his elbows, watching, before interrupting softly.

"Can I?" he asked, looking up for permission. Ohno seemed surprised, but nodded his consent; Nino scrambled to his knees, taking the condom from Ohno and rolling it onto him with great care. Ohno ran one hand through Nino's hair, cradling his head and breathing deeply. Nino smiled, pulling away slowly.

"All set," he said. Ohno collected himself before moving forward; he arranged Nino's limbs how he wanted them, and Nino allowed it with a languishing sort of calm afforded to those who knew they were going to get some significant payoff in short order. Once satisfied that Nino would be comfortable and there were pillows in all the right places, Ohno knelt between Nino's legs, hooking one of Nino's knees over his elbow.

Nino forced himself to exhale. That was the key; relaxing enough to get past the initial discomfort. Ohno was as gentle as he could be, but it wasn't perfect. Nino didn't expect it to be. He made a soft noise, shifting, and Ohno pressed an apologetic kiss to the inside of his leg.

"Almost," he said, knowing 'okay' would be a stupid question at this point. Nino nodded, not entirely trusting himself with words. He closed his eyes, forcing himself to focus on all the places where they touched instead: his ankle against Ohno's back, his fingers twisted in Ohno's free hand, Ohno's lips against his thigh. Slowly, the tension eased; Ohno guided his body to relaxation, coaxing pleasure out along the way. The first time he crooked his finger properly, Nino almost shot off the bed. After that, he found himself quickly hitting the critical balancing point between completely prepared and ready to finish; Ohno sensed it as soon as Nino did, and pulled his hand away.

"Hand, up here," Ohno said, lifting Nino's hand to his shoulder. "Stop me if you need to."

Nino realized Ohno thought (correctly) that Nino wouldn't necessarily be able to manage words. It was sweet, if unneeded; Nino had no intentions of stopping. But he did find it allowed him to control Ohno's speed as he entered-a simple push against his shoulder signaled 'wait', and relaxation coaxed him further. Finally, Ohno was in completely, and Nino exhaled deeply and moved.

Ohno picked up his rhythm immediately. Nino's early assessment had been straight on; Ohno had precise control and he found the perfect angle within minutes. Nino was beyond words, but he was far from quiet, and he encouraged Ohno in every way he knew how. Ohno wasn't talking, but he was close; Nino could see it in his face and the tense line of his shoulders.

And then Ohno looked up, meeting Nino's eyes, and he was gone; Nino's entire body arched, a wordless cry on his lips. His ears were rushing and his vision had gone completely white, but Ohno was right there, right within reach, right inside him.

Ohno came just after him. He was glad; he wasn't sure how much longer he would have been able to handle the movement. Ohno had bonelessly slumped across him, and while he wasn't much heavier than Nino, he was still heavier.

"That was fun," Nino said. "But I can't breathe."

Ohno grunted and rolled over, sliding out in the same movement. Nino winced; Ohno saw the expression and brushed at his hair, murmuring in what was probably the most sound and coordination he could muster. Nino rolled onto his side to face Ohno, smiling.

"I'm fine," he said. "Just kind of sticky."

"Ew," Ohno said eloquently.

"Your fault," Nino pointed out.

"Yours too," Ohno retorted. He had a point. But that didn't change the fact that he was sticky.

"My legs don't work," he whined. "Help."

Ohno groaned, but managed to roll himself out of the bed. He stumbled to the bathroom, cleaning himself off and returning with a washcloth for Nino. Nino gave him a kiss for his hard work before unceremoniously dragging him back in bed. He very quickly arranged himself the same way he'd woken up a few days before: curled against Ohno's chest, legs intertwined and nose tucked against Ohno's neck.

"Love you," Ohno murmured sleepily. "Sounds stupid saying it now."

"It's sweet," Nino assured him. "Go to sleep."

"Aw, Nino doesn't love me?" Ohno said, his voice laden with mock-hurt.

Nino thought about it. The way he felt about Ohno was… really not terribly complicated, when he sat down and thought about it. Ohno was his friend; Ohno understood him and supported him. There was also the physical attraction, which was rather obviously mutual. And Nino needed him in a way-he need Ohno to soothe and calm on some occasions, and rile up or laugh with on others.

They fit.

"Love you too," Nino admitted, ignoring the softness in his voice. It was embarrassing to be caught being so sappy. Good thing they were alone.

"I'm going to tell Sho that you're the girl in the relationship," Ohno said.

"Seriously," Nino growled. "I will cut it off. While you sleep. You'll wake up and it'll just be gone."

"I'm also going to tell Sho that you're not allowed to have sharp objects," Ohno said, "because my dick has been threatened with bodily harm."

"If I could move my arms," Nino said, "you'd be dead right now."

"Good thing I strike when you are weakest," Ohno said brightly.

Nino would have had a snappy reply, but he was just too pleasantly warm, comfortable, and sleepy. So he just repeated himself fuzzily against Ohno's skin:

"Love you."

It was the perfect time to say it.

~

Nino woke up in the middle of a déjà vu.

Ohno's fingers were sliding through his hair, stroking with care and gentleness. He obviously hadn't meant for Nino to wake up, and when he noticed, his hands stopped moving. Nino made a noise of bleary protest.

"Don' stop," he mumbled. "You're always stopping things."

"Sorry," Ohno said. His fingers immediately went back to petting, and Nino relaxed again against his chest. He could hear Ohno's heartbeat; he counted the beats, pleased at the slow and steady rhythm. Ohno was just as relaxed as he was.

Nino wanted to stay here, like this. He wanted to wake up like this every day; or at least once a week, if every day was asking too much. It might be; Ohno said he loved him, but that was different for everyone. Maybe Ohno's love wasn't like Nino's love. Nino's love was intense and world-tilting; he needed and craved and loved with a passion that didn't fade for a very long time. He loved Ohno, but that didn't mean Ohno was expecting the same things as Nino; it didn't mean he wanted the same things.

Well, he'd come this far.

"Oh-chan?" he asked against Ohno's skin. Ohno hummed his encouragement, and Nino continued.

"What do you want?"

"…What?" Ohno said, sounding surprised and a bit hurt. Nino realized the words hadn't come out the way he'd intended them to, and quickly corrected.

"I mean from this. You said-well, a lot, but you know. It's morning now. Maybe I'm only pretty in the dark or something," Nino said, only half-joking. He was pleased to note that Ohno's hand had not stopped moving as he spoke.

Ohno hummed again, thinking it over. Nino thought it was a pretty straightforward question, but Ohno was taking his sweet time coming up with an answer for it. He was starting to get a little nervous.

"I want to be happy," he said at last. "I want us both to be happy."

"…Meaning?" Nino asked, not yet awake enough to be cryptic.

"I'm really happy right now, like this, with you. If this makes you happy too, then let's do this. Be this," Ohno explained. "Am I making sense?"

Nino smiled.

"Sounds good to me," he said. "You, me, and lots of petting. Interpret that how you will."

"Oh, I plan to," Ohno said agreeably. Nino laughed into his chest.

"So, we're dating then?" he asked, just to be sure.

"Or fucking amiably," Ohno replied.

They were going to have a really, really good time.