Musings on grief

[absbookcrosser]

I've been thinking a lot about death lately. A child that I've been following since I started at the hospital died yesterday. She was such a sweet baby... She was only 5 months old- and such a sweetie. So precious. I am so sad

Comments

[yokospungeon]

>What helps you through?

Honestly - and this is very bleak - but nothing helps. The bereavements I have suffered have never diminished, I just become distracted from them and the memory fades. Then, from time to time something uncovers the memory, and it is as painful as the moment it happened, like an abcess that never heals.

In terms of faith - I cannot begin to understand death - especially for example, of very young children, or of those in violent or starvation circumstances. I cannot undesrtand it that a compassionate god could observe such a thing and not intervene. How do you reconcile that?

[drutt]

I'd have to say I don't know much about grief. I lost my great-grandparents and a grandparent when I was very young, and not one person I've been close to has died since. I don't know bereavement, but I fear it.

[kitsunecharmed]

I've had friends who killed themselves - three of them - and what I think is that they are better off out of this life, which was a dead end for all three. I don't believe in heaven or hell, but I believe we go on. All three were strong and beautiful souls, and must surely be happier now, wherever they are. This comforts me, when I miss them, and I have tried to implant the same idea in those who would miss me, should I go the same way

[chromatographer]

I have a friend who delivered twins 17 weeks early. They are now three months old. One is coming home this week--the other very soon. Early on I asked M how she "did it." She said that when you are suddenly faced with a crisis, you just handle it because you must. You have calm discussions about awful things and break down later. I think we fear this kind of stuff, but I think we can handle it somehow. And the role that faith plays is very personal.

When my father was in the hospital for what would be the last nine days of his life, I was angry and scared. I wanted to pray, but I didn't know what to pray for. My brother, older and wiser, suggested I pray that whatever was best for Dad would happen. Ultimately there is a limit to what we can do--if God is in your life, you put it in His hands. If not, you let go of it another way.

[macnastay]

I find Max Ehrmann's "Desiderata" to be inspiring in all facts of life. Its main purpose is how to keep oneself happy. The most difficult time to remain happy is when facing sudden grief, but there are some words in here to comfort