New, and out as nongendered today...

[fuzzygargoyle]

This is x-posted to my journal and transfurry, but I am new to this community and just came out to my parents. Here's the play-by-play, if you're interested

Comments

[queerbychoice]

First, establish a way that you will consistently react every time your family disrespects your identity. Depending on your personal style, you could respond by immediately addressing them as the wrong genders, immediately walking away without a word, immediately replying politely that you're very sorry they have no respect for your identity, or whatever feels like the right response for you personally. But it needs to in some way express very firmly and consistently that you deserve better treatment than this and that if your parents continue disrespecting you, it's only going to lower your opinion of them and it won't change your mind in any other way

[fireaphid]

You are so much braver than I am about this! Things may not have gone as planned, but in a lot of cases, people react really badly to shocking news (whether it is good or bad) at first, and then learn to accept reality. Hopefully your parents are just surprised and need some time to accept that their old interpretation of you just isn't valid.

I don't have any good advice, but I liked queerbychoice's first suggestion. You've done a great thing in trying to be honest with your family, and hopefully they will learn to appreciate that over time. Hang in there!

[sikon]

I never came out to my parents -- I hold no illusions about my mother after she said, in a completely hypothetical talk about homosexuals and people who disagree with their imposed gender roles, that she viewed all that as signs of mental illness. I don't fear for myself, I fear for their sanity. They grew up in a different time, in a country where sexuality was never a public matter

[fuzzygargoyle]

Thank you so much! This is the best advice I've had on anything in a while. The one person at school who knows told me to get emancipated...

Thank you very much to everyone for your support. I am trying to think of my ideal response, and was already thinking of ignoring them when they referred to me as "girl." I just wonder how many times I will be shot down for disobedience before they realize what I'm doing...
*hugs*

[fuzzygargoyle]

Meh, my italics took over!

Sympathy

[anonymous]

I've had similar problems with my parents who actually (well, just my single parent) from that point (after I told them) wanted nothing to do with me, essentially "kicking me out". The trick is to pick and choose your battles, and knowing the ones you can't win. One step at a time, and most importantly BE yourself, no matter what, because the alternative is worse than death in my opinion.