Universe is cruel, part 13
Title: Universe is cruel, part 13
Characters: Jackie Tyler, Rose Tyler, The Doctor (10th), The Doctor (Duplicate 10th) and many others
Raiting: All
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. They belong to RTD and the BBC.
Spoilers: up till JE
Summary: The Doctor and Rose live a fantastic life on Pete's World until one drunk driver shatters it all.
Previous
“Hello,” Rose says trembling.
“Hello,” the Doctor replies. They stay quiet for a while. The silence is getting awkward and the Doctor is the one to break it. “Sorry, I know you didn’t want to see me yet, but Cathie sneaked out and then refused to come back unless I came with her.” He looks at her apologetically. “She’s great, brilliant, fantastic! We had a nice conversation. Pretty difficult words she knows. She does.” He’s nervous now with the lack of Rose’s response. He rubs the back of his neck. “Right, I’ll just… go. Call me when you’re ready.” He stands up ignoring Cathie’s upset noises. “Oh,” he adds nearly at the door, “I’ve established the connection. Sorry. Had no choice really. She caught me off guard and triggered the process. No reversing it once started. So… it leaves me… like a father for her. I’m sorry, Rose. I know you didn’t want it…”
“Do you want it?” Rose interrupts him. She has no courage to look him in the eyes.
“Well,.. I guess I do.”
“Are we okay with this then?” she asks him still watching her nails.
“Yep.”
“Good,” she lets out the breath she held during the whole conversation.
The air is thick with tension and the Doctor blurts out “I should go…” moving to the door hesitantly.
“No, please, stay.” Rose seems as surprised to hear her stopping him as he is. “Stay… unless you don’t want to.”
“Oh, I... It’s just so…”
“Comp-le-ca-ted,” Cathie blurts out.
“Yep, that’s the word,” the Doctor says smiling sadly.
“Didn’t know she know it.”
“She does. Another one is Ex-plo-ring”, the Doctor tries to mimic the girl’s pronunciation of the word.
“Wow. I’ve only heard her saying 2 words before,” Rose stops abruptly. She shudders and brings her legs to her chest. She looks at him again and adds “Bye Dada.”
“Oh,” the Doctor looks down unable to keep the eye contact.
‘So, it’s River then?” she feels a bit guilty and tries to change the subject. Probably that will help her getting used to the thought of him with another woman… maybe not…better than talking about her Doctor anyway.
“Yep,” he’s sad. She’s seen him so sad only once. He’s good at hiding it. He always does. Even her Doctor did.
“How long?”
He looks at her like asking what she means and then turns to the window. “Two thirds of her diary is full.” He doesn’t need to say anything else. They both know.
“How can you bare it?” As soon as she asks, she wishes she hadn’t. It’s so easy to forget she’s not talking to her openhearted Doctor. She opens her mouth to apologize for inappropriate questions but is amazed to hear him answering.
“I can’t. Knowing that I’ll lose her… But, you know, there is not one person in the whole big Universe who will live as long as I will. Except for Jack. And Cathie now. So… I’ll just keep losing everyone I care for.” Rose is now sitting on her bed still fully clothed. She reaches to take his hand unconsciously, out of habit and they shiver at the contact but then he squeezes it and they both feel it a confirmation of their friendship. “You know, I was so afraid to lose you that I’ve never given us a chance. And then… watching you kissing that other Doctor in front of me. I spent a few years after that regretting I’ve never let myself do that.. And then I met River. She’s brilliant, clever, brave… I knew I’ll lose her as clear as I knew she’ll be someone special to me. And then it all clicked into its place.” He runs his free hand through his hair. “It’s better to miss something when it’s gone then regretting never having it. I don’t have much time left with her and it tears me apart. Sometimes I doubt it’s worth all the pain. Sometimes I think it is.”
Rose is listening to him silently. She can’t believe what she’s hearing. This Doctor NEVER talked about his feelings. NEVER. He’s been on and on about any little unimportant thing in the universe but he NEVER talked about really important things. Especially about him, about his feelings. She watches him pouring his soul to her like her Doctor used to do and she’s scared of the amount of responsibility and trust he has for her. Somehow it’s different from her Doctor’s. That man didn’t have the Universe behind him, he didn’t have that burden, he could easily be open and light. This man’s trust is heavy, it weights tons and it scares her a bit but it also makes her feel honored. Somehow what he shares with her now, his acceptance of her presence in his life is so much more than she had with her Doctor. His openness and her understanding are suddenly much more a commitment then anything she’s had before.
“I’m sorry I brought her here today. I didn’t remember that I left you on this particular day. I hid those memories and they didn’t come up till I saw you in the hall.”
“No, you don’t need to be sorry. Honestly. It’s good you were here. Now I don’t need to look for you for Cathie.”
“Yeah. So. What’re we going to do now?”
“Don’t know. I’ll stay here. I mean, you have a wife or as close to this you could ever have. And TARDIS is no good place for a baby. So,” Rose pauses shivering. “Don’t know. Find a place to live, get some kind of job. Probably find Jack and Mickey. Not sure they’ll want me around though.”
“Of course they will. They nearly regenerated me when I told them what I did to you.”
Rose smiles. “Okay. Then I won’t be that scared to meet them. Then… don’t’ know. Dad packed some jewelry in that backpack so no problems for the first few months.”
The Doctor looks doubtfully at the bag. She catches his gaze and exclaims mimicking him.
‘Oi, it’s bigger on the inside!”
“Really?” He’s really curious now. The last bits of tension are lost and her smile is genuine for the first time in months.
“Yeah. Attached the pockets from that blue suit.”
“Good for you,” he replies grinning.
“Yeah. Anyway, you’d better go, she’s missing you probably so don’t make her wait. But I expect you to come and visit us from time to time. You’ve made friends with Cathie so she’ll miss you now if you’re away for too long. Don’t really know how that connection thing works.”
“Yeah, well, she’s a good friend, you know. ”
Rose watches his gaze getting clouded. With her Doctor she’d ask what was on his mind. With this one…She doesn’t really know what to expect. It definitely was easier with that younger version she met a few hours ago. The Doctor brings her back from her thoughts.
“I’m scared. Last time I was a father… it didn’t turn up good and I’m scared I will mess things up again. Especially since I can’t stay with both of you all the time.”
She stares at him disbelievingly. “You’ll manage. I’m sure. Just come and visit, yeah?”
“Yep,” his whisper is barely audible.
The next moment he’s all energetic and enthusiastic making faces to Cathie, who’s giggling hysterically by the time. Rose picks the girl up again. “See you soon then. I won’t come down while you’re here. Enough complications for today.”
“No complications. You sure you don’t want to come down? Mickey, Martha and Jack would be happy to see you.”
“They’re here? I didn’t see them.”
“Well, they came while you were asleep. We had a little invasion this morning so they had to finish some cleaning up before joining us here.”
“Oh. I…. I don’t know. And what about River? It’s not quite an everyday thing to find your husband has a little daughter…”
“Don’t worry about that.”
“You sure?”
“Yep, She knows pretty much about me. Not everything, mind you. Bits and pieces. Anyway, are you coming?”
“I guess I am. Just give me a moment to change and I’ll come downstairs…”
“Right. See you then.” He’s at the door now. Suddenly he stops and turns to face her. Rose doesn’t need to ask him to see he’s sad and somehow nervous. She’s well familiar with this face to be able to read it no matter which man is wearing it. “Next time I come… It could very well be the next me. I met him and her once and… I don’t’ have much time left with her which could very well mean that I’ll regenerate quite soon. I’m sorry.” He doesn’t wait for her reply and leaves the room shutting the door behind him.
Rose sits on her bed speechless for a few moments. This whole situation is so wrong in every aspect that she’s not quite sure it’s real. The Doctor is with another woman. The Doctor’s bonded with her daughter and is calling her his daughter as well. The Doctor’s talking and not just rambling, he’s actually TALKING. The Doctor is about to regenerate. And she has no mum or dad… no one to talk to about that. It’s been a few hours only, maybe a day, but she misses Jackie. Probably it’s the knowledge that it’s permanent that makes it so hard. Cathie is dozing off at last on her lap so she settles the girl on the bed, picks up some things and leaves the room to take a quick shower and face the people in the living room.
Next
Characters: Jackie Tyler, Rose Tyler, The Doctor (10th), The Doctor (Duplicate 10th) and many others
Raiting: All
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. They belong to RTD and the BBC.
Spoilers: up till JE
Summary: The Doctor and Rose live a fantastic life on Pete's World until one drunk driver shatters it all.
Previous
“Hello,” Rose says trembling.
“Hello,” the Doctor replies. They stay quiet for a while. The silence is getting awkward and the Doctor is the one to break it. “Sorry, I know you didn’t want to see me yet, but Cathie sneaked out and then refused to come back unless I came with her.” He looks at her apologetically. “She’s great, brilliant, fantastic! We had a nice conversation. Pretty difficult words she knows. She does.” He’s nervous now with the lack of Rose’s response. He rubs the back of his neck. “Right, I’ll just… go. Call me when you’re ready.” He stands up ignoring Cathie’s upset noises. “Oh,” he adds nearly at the door, “I’ve established the connection. Sorry. Had no choice really. She caught me off guard and triggered the process. No reversing it once started. So… it leaves me… like a father for her. I’m sorry, Rose. I know you didn’t want it…”
“Do you want it?” Rose interrupts him. She has no courage to look him in the eyes.
“Well,.. I guess I do.”
“Are we okay with this then?” she asks him still watching her nails.
“Yep.”
“Good,” she lets out the breath she held during the whole conversation.
The air is thick with tension and the Doctor blurts out “I should go…” moving to the door hesitantly.
“No, please, stay.” Rose seems as surprised to hear her stopping him as he is. “Stay… unless you don’t want to.”
“Oh, I... It’s just so…”
“Comp-le-ca-ted,” Cathie blurts out.
“Yep, that’s the word,” the Doctor says smiling sadly.
“Didn’t know she know it.”
“She does. Another one is Ex-plo-ring”, the Doctor tries to mimic the girl’s pronunciation of the word.
“Wow. I’ve only heard her saying 2 words before,” Rose stops abruptly. She shudders and brings her legs to her chest. She looks at him again and adds “Bye Dada.”
“Oh,” the Doctor looks down unable to keep the eye contact.
‘So, it’s River then?” she feels a bit guilty and tries to change the subject. Probably that will help her getting used to the thought of him with another woman… maybe not…better than talking about her Doctor anyway.
“Yep,” he’s sad. She’s seen him so sad only once. He’s good at hiding it. He always does. Even her Doctor did.
“How long?”
He looks at her like asking what she means and then turns to the window. “Two thirds of her diary is full.” He doesn’t need to say anything else. They both know.
“How can you bare it?” As soon as she asks, she wishes she hadn’t. It’s so easy to forget she’s not talking to her openhearted Doctor. She opens her mouth to apologize for inappropriate questions but is amazed to hear him answering.
“I can’t. Knowing that I’ll lose her… But, you know, there is not one person in the whole big Universe who will live as long as I will. Except for Jack. And Cathie now. So… I’ll just keep losing everyone I care for.” Rose is now sitting on her bed still fully clothed. She reaches to take his hand unconsciously, out of habit and they shiver at the contact but then he squeezes it and they both feel it a confirmation of their friendship. “You know, I was so afraid to lose you that I’ve never given us a chance. And then… watching you kissing that other Doctor in front of me. I spent a few years after that regretting I’ve never let myself do that.. And then I met River. She’s brilliant, clever, brave… I knew I’ll lose her as clear as I knew she’ll be someone special to me. And then it all clicked into its place.” He runs his free hand through his hair. “It’s better to miss something when it’s gone then regretting never having it. I don’t have much time left with her and it tears me apart. Sometimes I doubt it’s worth all the pain. Sometimes I think it is.”
Rose is listening to him silently. She can’t believe what she’s hearing. This Doctor NEVER talked about his feelings. NEVER. He’s been on and on about any little unimportant thing in the universe but he NEVER talked about really important things. Especially about him, about his feelings. She watches him pouring his soul to her like her Doctor used to do and she’s scared of the amount of responsibility and trust he has for her. Somehow it’s different from her Doctor’s. That man didn’t have the Universe behind him, he didn’t have that burden, he could easily be open and light. This man’s trust is heavy, it weights tons and it scares her a bit but it also makes her feel honored. Somehow what he shares with her now, his acceptance of her presence in his life is so much more than she had with her Doctor. His openness and her understanding are suddenly much more a commitment then anything she’s had before.
“I’m sorry I brought her here today. I didn’t remember that I left you on this particular day. I hid those memories and they didn’t come up till I saw you in the hall.”
“No, you don’t need to be sorry. Honestly. It’s good you were here. Now I don’t need to look for you for Cathie.”
“Yeah. So. What’re we going to do now?”
“Don’t know. I’ll stay here. I mean, you have a wife or as close to this you could ever have. And TARDIS is no good place for a baby. So,” Rose pauses shivering. “Don’t know. Find a place to live, get some kind of job. Probably find Jack and Mickey. Not sure they’ll want me around though.”
“Of course they will. They nearly regenerated me when I told them what I did to you.”
Rose smiles. “Okay. Then I won’t be that scared to meet them. Then… don’t’ know. Dad packed some jewelry in that backpack so no problems for the first few months.”
The Doctor looks doubtfully at the bag. She catches his gaze and exclaims mimicking him.
‘Oi, it’s bigger on the inside!”
“Really?” He’s really curious now. The last bits of tension are lost and her smile is genuine for the first time in months.
“Yeah. Attached the pockets from that blue suit.”
“Good for you,” he replies grinning.
“Yeah. Anyway, you’d better go, she’s missing you probably so don’t make her wait. But I expect you to come and visit us from time to time. You’ve made friends with Cathie so she’ll miss you now if you’re away for too long. Don’t really know how that connection thing works.”
“Yeah, well, she’s a good friend, you know. ”
Rose watches his gaze getting clouded. With her Doctor she’d ask what was on his mind. With this one…She doesn’t really know what to expect. It definitely was easier with that younger version she met a few hours ago. The Doctor brings her back from her thoughts.
“I’m scared. Last time I was a father… it didn’t turn up good and I’m scared I will mess things up again. Especially since I can’t stay with both of you all the time.”
She stares at him disbelievingly. “You’ll manage. I’m sure. Just come and visit, yeah?”
“Yep,” his whisper is barely audible.
The next moment he’s all energetic and enthusiastic making faces to Cathie, who’s giggling hysterically by the time. Rose picks the girl up again. “See you soon then. I won’t come down while you’re here. Enough complications for today.”
“No complications. You sure you don’t want to come down? Mickey, Martha and Jack would be happy to see you.”
“They’re here? I didn’t see them.”
“Well, they came while you were asleep. We had a little invasion this morning so they had to finish some cleaning up before joining us here.”
“Oh. I…. I don’t know. And what about River? It’s not quite an everyday thing to find your husband has a little daughter…”
“Don’t worry about that.”
“You sure?”
“Yep, She knows pretty much about me. Not everything, mind you. Bits and pieces. Anyway, are you coming?”
“I guess I am. Just give me a moment to change and I’ll come downstairs…”
“Right. See you then.” He’s at the door now. Suddenly he stops and turns to face her. Rose doesn’t need to ask him to see he’s sad and somehow nervous. She’s well familiar with this face to be able to read it no matter which man is wearing it. “Next time I come… It could very well be the next me. I met him and her once and… I don’t’ have much time left with her which could very well mean that I’ll regenerate quite soon. I’m sorry.” He doesn’t wait for her reply and leaves the room shutting the door behind him.
Rose sits on her bed speechless for a few moments. This whole situation is so wrong in every aspect that she’s not quite sure it’s real. The Doctor is with another woman. The Doctor’s bonded with her daughter and is calling her his daughter as well. The Doctor’s talking and not just rambling, he’s actually TALKING. The Doctor is about to regenerate. And she has no mum or dad… no one to talk to about that. It’s been a few hours only, maybe a day, but she misses Jackie. Probably it’s the knowledge that it’s permanent that makes it so hard. Cathie is dozing off at last on her lap so she settles the girl on the bed, picks up some things and leaves the room to take a quick shower and face the people in the living room.
Next