Comments | abelard369: FIC: "Alone Together on New Year's" Part 2/2 (Lisbon/Jane, rated R)

abelard369

FIC: "Alone Together on New Year's" Part 2/2 (Lisbon/Jane, rated R)

Dec 31, 2008 21:20

Title: Alone Together on New Year's (Part 2/2)
Author: abelard
Pairing: Lisbon/Jane
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine, nope.
Summary: Patrick Jane and Teresa Lisbon spend New Year's Eve and New Year's Day together.

Part One here

( Clicky here for Part Two )

mentalist, lisbon/jane, fanfic

Comments 10

blacksquirrel January 4 2009, 03:10:05 UTC

Fantastic! This bit is gold:

"Every outfacing aspect of them differs. But the terrain inside....Jane sometimes thinks that if he could reach into himself and pull out the glowing jewel that is at his core, it would be the same color as Lisbon's.

Or no - it would be a complementary color, he corrects himself."

I really love the end as well - that he's fantasizing about sex, but planning, a year or so ahead, to try a hug. Very representative of their relationship, progressing by baby steps, and both of them patient, unhurried, and unwilling to compromise except in tiny increments.

Well done! I hope that you continue to find them inspiring!

abelard369 January 4 2009, 03:51:44 UTC

Oh, thank you so much for your kind words!!! I was a bit worried about putting in his fantasizing at the end, b/c I think *he* thinks that it's just one possible future for them, and by no means does he take it for granted that they'll be that close one day, or even that *he* would be ready for that one day. But I wanted to show that he can conceive of intimacy, that it's in the realm of potentiality, which is, I think, true to where they are right now. Nothing definite, but a few things possible. And then the last bit - a hug - is even likely :).

I, too, hope to be further inspired by this duo. It's certainly within the realm of the possible!! Thanks again for reading!!!

evidenceshows January 4 2009, 04:42:34 UTC

Oh perfect! It was very engaging to read and I love how you ended it- so hopeful.

abelard369 January 4 2009, 04:59:43 UTC

Thank you so much for reading!!! I really appreciate your comments!!

naika7 January 7 2009, 00:46:22 UTC

"That's why he loves Lisbon's smiles. They are weighty, heavy. Like metal. Like stone. They're not given lightly, and he hoards them in his memory."

Brilliant stuff!

I loved the ending with Jane's hopefullness! You nailed this!

abelard369 January 7 2009, 01:27:39 UTC

Thank you!!!!! *blushes* I really appreciate your reading and leaving feedback!!!!

meredith44 March 7 2009, 22:18:48 UTC

I got the urge to read Mentalist fic today and stumbled across this. I really enjoyed it and felt it was true to the characters. Thanks for sharing.

abelard369 March 8 2009, 06:30:37 UTC

Thanks so much for the feedback!! I appreciate it. Maybe when the show starts airing again, I'll write some more. I love these characters.

fearlessfan April 5 2009, 04:23:36 UTC

Oh, this was lovely! I went hunting for Lisbon/Jane Mentalist fic today, not sure any would be out there, and it was wonderful to come across such a great story right away. The voices for both characters were great, and I loved your take on Lisbon in particular.

There were so many wonderful moments in this (Lisbon's anticipation of Jane's request for New Year's, the description of how Lisbon and Jane's personalities overlap). I loved this bit in particular:

Jane looks at Lisbon to the point of staring at her. She reminds me of the moon, he thinks, and then he has a hard time understanding why that is. He decides it's because the moon is luminous, and looks solid and still even though it changes all the time, and that these are some of the ways in which Lisbon is beautiful to him.

Loved it! Thank you so much for sharing it.

abelard369 April 11 2009, 01:04:34 UTC

Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to leave this lovely positive comment!!! I'm so pleased that people are finding this story, thank you very very much for posting feedback!!