Broken Hearted, Cap 4

[aateneaa]

 04. Me and my stupid pride, sitting here alone

- ¿Estás bien? -escuché a Cameron preguntarme de una manera maternal y muy preocupada.
-Sí… simplemente tenía esperanzas de escapar a Chace… pero se ve que él no tenía pensado dejarme hacerlo…-todo el peso de mi cuerpo resbaló por el frió cristal de la puerta, llegando luego a la madera y sin detenerse

Comments

[belwatson]

Good, darling, a will tell you a little mistakes in your story.

" ¿Por qué se me hace tan difícil entender que la gente tal vez no fue tan mala conmigo Cam?" Again, the same mistake: " ¿Por qué se me hace tan difícil entender que la gente tal vez no fue tan mala conmigo, Cam?" Remember, u must use a ',' before the name. "Tú también cielo" -- "Tú también, cielo"

And a one more: when you use the word OK in spanish, is: Okey, because in english is an initials and the two letters must be in capital letters. Buy, in spanish is a word, not a intials. Do u understand me?

Well, about the chapter, i really love it. And u are right, some times ur mind know before than you some things. Is really incredible!

OK, i gotta go to read the next chapter.

Sorry for the mistakes in my writing, but with your corrections, i will be better ;) u'll see.

[aateneaa]

Ur amazing! thank you very much for the corrections, I tried to add all the comas I could, but I must have missed some of them, really sorry for that =)

[aateneaa]

P.s: I LOVE SWITCHFOOT TOO!! I know them since 2002 and they're still my favourite band; I always mention them when writing a novel, dunno why jajaja. But well, I love all of their songs, but learning to breathe and 24 are my favs.

[belwatson]

Hahaha don't u sorry! with the mistakes is the way we learn. For the next time, i'm sure, u'll be better!