Dealing With Distant Death

Jul 11, 2006 19:46

Last night my sister called me with a grave tone in her voice. I was afraid, at first, that it would be bad news about Mom. Rather, she told me that my cousin's daughter had died ( Read more... )

family, funeral

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Comments 8

gaymafiakingpin July 12 2006, 02:26:52 UTC
Send flowers or wait for someone to send you the obituary to see if there is an "in lieu of flowers" statement in it.

An aunt of mine who I hadn't seen in many, many years died and I just sort of shrugged. There was no funeral, at least not that I heard about. I felt bad, but certainly didn't cry. I felt bad in the same sense I would if I heard about some stranger dying. I was never close to her. What can you do?

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jawnbc July 12 2006, 02:36:52 UTC
Offer your heartfelt condolensces regardless love. Send some flowers if you can, even a small arrangement. Even if she doesn't register it immediately, your cousin will very much appreciate your thoughtfulness.

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abbazabba July 12 2006, 02:40:23 UTC
Send flowers. Send a serious toned sympathy card. To send flowers, you're better off to call a florist local to them, and order something, you'll get more for your money that way. You'll have to know their name and the name of the funeral home. Or you can send something like Harry and David to the family's home. Nobody ever feels like cooking or eating, so food is always good.

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djzack67 July 12 2006, 03:54:42 UTC
HUGGZ

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dr_tectonic July 12 2006, 04:21:13 UTC
Don't feel awkward about giving your condolences. It doesn't matter whether or not *you're* grieving; it's that you're very sorry that such an awful thing has happened in *their* lives -- which is a totally sincere sentiment.

Send her a letter, say you were so very sorry to hear the terrible news, you wish you could be there, they're in your thoughts and prayers, and they have all your love and your deepest condolences. It won't be taken wrong, and it'll mean a lot to her.

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