the sun shines on the living, the sun shines on the dead

[a_mere_child]

When Alyx awakens, the first thing she sees is the familiar windowless wall of Room 287. There's a momentary flood of relief: It didn't happen, it wasn't real, it was all a just a horrible dream.
( the sun shines on you and me, wherever we lay our heads )Then she sees her hand resting on the mattress next to her. Her knuckles are still bruised from

Comments

[acts_of_gord]

Being outside today didn't help, exactly. Not in the way Gordon had been hoping, anyway. Nothing's really any better for having spent all that time sitting, but at least the worst of the chaos in his head's settled down. That probably counts for something.

It's getting downright cold and soggy out there, though, so he figured he might as well come inside. He's not quite up to facing the main room again. Annabelle and weird-past-version John were difficult enough to deal with. So really there's only one choice- well, two, but Gordon's not really the type to wander around the garage for wandering around the garage's sake. Three if you count the library, but he doesn't know where it is. That leaves room 287.

Hopefully Alyx... he's not sure what he's hoping as he reaches for the doorknob, just that it won't be a repeat of last night.

[acts_of_gord]

He can live with this, for now. Just these few moments, with Alyx in his arms- he's good with it, really he is.

There's been something niggling at him a while now, though, and while normally his instinct would be to keep his mouth shut... well. He'd like to get it cleared up.

"Alyx?"

[a_mere_child]

She looks up. "Hm?"

[acts_of_gord]

He takes a deep breath; this kind of thing is always difficult for him.

"You know I never wanted to cause all of this trouble, right? ... I mean, back home?"

[a_mere_child]

"Yeah, I know," she murmurs, looking away. "You didn't even plan to be there when you did."

[acts_of_gord]

Gordon nods.

"I know it happened because of me anyway, but... I'm sorry. For whatever that's worth."

[a_mere_child]

"Don't be." Alyx reaches up to cup her hand around Gordon's bruised cheek. "I'm the one who should be apologizing."

[acts_of_gord]

"It's just that it's come up twice now. It must seriously be bothering you on some level, to keep coming back like that."

And, well... he does wonder, sometimes, just how much hell really does follow in his wake. After a day like yesterday, it's not hard to see.

[a_mere_child]

"...Gordon, it's come up when I was irrationally angry about something that you had nothing to do with."

[acts_of_gord]

He shrugs uncomfortably. "Seems like the kind of time you'd let something slip you'd been holding back," he says, "and... I don't know, it just feels like it's not all that far from the truth sometimes. Whether I mean it to happen or not."

[a_mere_child]

Alyx takes a deep breath and lets it out.

"Look. It's true a lot of bad shit has happened since you got dropped in City 17, but it's not your fault. It's... it's what people have made you out to be. You're important to the Combine because people think you're important. That's none of your doing."

[acts_of_gord]

Gordon nods, and leans into her hand a little.

"Sorry. Needed to hear it, I guess."

[a_mere_child]

There's a faint twitch at the corner of Alyx's mouth, like one of Gordon's not-quite-smiles.

"You're not a messiah, Gordon. You're not the Opener of the Way or the One Free Man or any of that. You're just a man. A good man." She's getting a little misty-eyed. "The best man I've ever met."

[acts_of_gord]

"That's pushing it, isn't it?" says Gordon, in response to that last one. "I mean- thank you, but..."

[a_mere_child]

Alyx lets out a quiet huff of laughter. "Christ, we really do need to get 'Alyx Vance Loves You Very Much' tattooed on the back of your hand, don't we?"

[acts_of_gord]

"You'd rather I believed what other people said about me?" Gordon returns. And then, with a little bit of a smile: "No, I get what you're saying. It's all right. Thank you, Alyx." And he leans over to kiss her as he says it.