037 Barney Stinson - Komui Lee - Robin Scherbatsky [Video]
[the feed opens on a motley little crew in a quite run down apartment. Komui is examining the prints on the walls and Robin is looking at Barney's apartment with near shock, as she's never in here before, while Barney is gazing around in wonde. On the the floor is seen the broken mask of a "Space Trooper" ((we must protect the forth wall!)), it's body leaning against the wall and an almost perfect looking couch with only a few scratches in it. The hard wood floors are scuffed, but everything is mostly intact]
Daddy's home. [A huge smile breaks out on Barney's face as he sinks onto the couch, groaning] I've never been happier to be here. Well, almost--there was this one time with two Swedish chicks, but-- [he looks down at the Facility-berry, winking] Let's not get into that with kids watching!
[The lights begin to dim and brighten as Komui, in the background, locates the dimmer switches. He exclaims over the marvels of the modern era]
Amazing! absolutely amazing! Who'd have thought people would have something like this in their homes? This is even better than the lift!
[Robin is shifting ,not sure how to act around Komui, and then goes forward, stepping over the wreckage of the Space Trooper to the couch.]
So this is where evil takes place, huh, Barney?
Evil? Or awesome? [he grins up at her] Or both--?
No, I think just evil. [she steps over to the couch, and sits on the arm, looking nervously over as Komui is examining the room] Barney..do you think.. do you think if this is here, McLaren's is here? There's no other people so.... I guess the others wouldn't be here, would they?
[He sits up, looking a bit concerned] McLaren's with no people... I don't know, Scherbatsky. If the Consortium made this place, you can never guess what'll be here. That this legendary apartment is mostly intact is quite something though. But now-- [And now Barney rises, gesturing grandly to his place] The whole reason for this post! Dear fellows, being a New Yorker born and bred, I seem to have come across a very special little establishment. The home of yours truly! If my TV works, I say that anyone with booze can come round!
[Robin still looks a torn as she shifts on the seat, taking the guns from holsters at her side and setting them down] Yea I guess...
[A strangled yelp of complete horror echoes from round a corner where Komui disappeared]
"Asian butt sluts?!" [More sputters are heard, mostly indistinguishable as a plastic case is heard bouncing off the hard floor] "What in God's sweet name!?"
[Robin shoots a look at Barney, grabs one of the guns up, and runs, Barney following at a more sedate pace, to the noise, muzzle pointed at Komui] FREEZE! I HAVE A GUN AND-- Komui?! What is it? [She keeps the gun leveled at him, confused. Barney looks aghast.]
Komui. What did you do?! [his oh so very carefully arranged collection of porn is in shambles, DVDs lying everywhere, thrown at random. Komui looks horrified, hardly paying attention to the gun in his shock.]
This is... obscene! Disgusting! [He picks up another DVD from the shelf, glancing down at the title with a look of shock] Double Anal Penetration #4? [He shudders and flings the box away, as if holding it too long would infect him] They actually sell this stuff in the twenty-first century? People actually display it?! It's- it's- [He trails of, obviously unable to express the severity of his culture shock]
Yeah, and it was professionally lighted too! [Barney falls to the floor in anguish, picking through the collection] Did you really have to--[he open one of the cases, revealing a broken disc]--destroy them!?
[Robin is looking at it him, starting to laugh helplessly, pocketing the gun.] Well, most people don't display it actually, a lot of people hide it, but Barney's... er. Special. [She bends down to help Barney shift through the rubble.] Wow. Father Knows Breast, Deluxe Edition. Sounds... nice.
Oh, it is. It is--or was! [he picks it up, opening it, then slamming it down again]
[Komui blinks, slightly dazed, before kneeling on the floor with the others] The discs... have videos on them? Like our devices? [He picks up a DVD, briefly entranced by the rainbow surface, until he turns it over and sees the very explicit image printed on the other side. The disc goes sailing down the hall as he yelps]
Dammit Komui! That was probably the only one still intact! [he rushes after it, leaving the communicator on the ground, among the pile of DVD cases, showing some, uh, interesting pictures. Komui can be heard muttering]
Depraved, completely depraved. This is as bad as Cross. [A shuffling is heard as another DVD box is picked up. Komui speaks with a moan] How is that even possible?
[Barney returns, mourning the loss of yet another perfectly good DVD] It's perfectly possible, even acceptable in the modern world!
You should get rid of them before another person steps foot inside this house. What if Lenalee saw them? She'd be scarred for life! I think I'm scarred for life!
[Barney raises an eyebrow at him] Komui, Bro. That's the whole point! It's meant to make the women that I bring home want to leave! They're fine for the night, but come morning, I let this baby be their ticket out of here! [He taps on the light switch, red lights smoldering. Komui stares in horror at him.]
You're a complete and utter pig.
Maybe so, but I'm a damned awesome one. And I'm proud of it.
[Komui shakes his head] You really are just like Cross. How do I always find them?
[Robin is still just rifling through Barney's collection, chuckling repeatedly at Komui's outrage. She stands up and smirks at him, holding a disc in her hand.]
Come on guys. Let's watch one. It'll be a bonding experience.
[She's joking, but she looks at them both dubiously all of a sudden.] Actually, you two should watch it. Together. [She smiles brightly again.] Nothing like a good porn between bros, right?
((ooc: HAH TRICKED YA! The threeway comes waay later xDD It was actually cut for length, as you may have noticed~))
((Welcome to Barney's Crib! Enjoy <3))
Daddy's home. [A huge smile breaks out on Barney's face as he sinks onto the couch, groaning] I've never been happier to be here. Well, almost--there was this one time with two Swedish chicks, but-- [he looks down at the Facility-berry, winking] Let's not get into that with kids watching!
[The lights begin to dim and brighten as Komui, in the background, locates the dimmer switches. He exclaims over the marvels of the modern era]
Amazing! absolutely amazing! Who'd have thought people would have something like this in their homes? This is even better than the lift!
[Robin is shifting ,not sure how to act around Komui, and then goes forward, stepping over the wreckage of the Space Trooper to the couch.]
So this is where evil takes place, huh, Barney?
Evil? Or awesome? [he grins up at her] Or both--?
No, I think just evil. [she steps over to the couch, and sits on the arm, looking nervously over as Komui is examining the room] Barney..do you think.. do you think if this is here, McLaren's is here? There's no other people so.... I guess the others wouldn't be here, would they?
[He sits up, looking a bit concerned] McLaren's with no people... I don't know, Scherbatsky. If the Consortium made this place, you can never guess what'll be here. That this legendary apartment is mostly intact is quite something though. But now-- [And now Barney rises, gesturing grandly to his place] The whole reason for this post! Dear fellows, being a New Yorker born and bred, I seem to have come across a very special little establishment. The home of yours truly! If my TV works, I say that anyone with booze can come round!
[Robin still looks a torn as she shifts on the seat, taking the guns from holsters at her side and setting them down] Yea I guess...
[A strangled yelp of complete horror echoes from round a corner where Komui disappeared]
"Asian butt sluts?!" [More sputters are heard, mostly indistinguishable as a plastic case is heard bouncing off the hard floor] "What in God's sweet name!?"
[Robin shoots a look at Barney, grabs one of the guns up, and runs, Barney following at a more sedate pace, to the noise, muzzle pointed at Komui] FREEZE! I HAVE A GUN AND-- Komui?! What is it? [She keeps the gun leveled at him, confused. Barney looks aghast.]
Komui. What did you do?! [his oh so very carefully arranged collection of porn is in shambles, DVDs lying everywhere, thrown at random. Komui looks horrified, hardly paying attention to the gun in his shock.]
This is... obscene! Disgusting! [He picks up another DVD from the shelf, glancing down at the title with a look of shock] Double Anal Penetration #4? [He shudders and flings the box away, as if holding it too long would infect him] They actually sell this stuff in the twenty-first century? People actually display it?! It's- it's- [He trails of, obviously unable to express the severity of his culture shock]
Yeah, and it was professionally lighted too! [Barney falls to the floor in anguish, picking through the collection] Did you really have to--[he open one of the cases, revealing a broken disc]--destroy them!?
[Robin is looking at it him, starting to laugh helplessly, pocketing the gun.] Well, most people don't display it actually, a lot of people hide it, but Barney's... er. Special. [She bends down to help Barney shift through the rubble.] Wow. Father Knows Breast, Deluxe Edition. Sounds... nice.
Oh, it is. It is--or was! [he picks it up, opening it, then slamming it down again]
[Komui blinks, slightly dazed, before kneeling on the floor with the others] The discs... have videos on them? Like our devices? [He picks up a DVD, briefly entranced by the rainbow surface, until he turns it over and sees the very explicit image printed on the other side. The disc goes sailing down the hall as he yelps]
Dammit Komui! That was probably the only one still intact! [he rushes after it, leaving the communicator on the ground, among the pile of DVD cases, showing some, uh, interesting pictures. Komui can be heard muttering]
Depraved, completely depraved. This is as bad as Cross. [A shuffling is heard as another DVD box is picked up. Komui speaks with a moan] How is that even possible?
[Barney returns, mourning the loss of yet another perfectly good DVD] It's perfectly possible, even acceptable in the modern world!
You should get rid of them before another person steps foot inside this house. What if Lenalee saw them? She'd be scarred for life! I think I'm scarred for life!
[Barney raises an eyebrow at him] Komui, Bro. That's the whole point! It's meant to make the women that I bring home want to leave! They're fine for the night, but come morning, I let this baby be their ticket out of here! [He taps on the light switch, red lights smoldering. Komui stares in horror at him.]
You're a complete and utter pig.
Maybe so, but I'm a damned awesome one. And I'm proud of it.
[Komui shakes his head] You really are just like Cross. How do I always find them?
[Robin is still just rifling through Barney's collection, chuckling repeatedly at Komui's outrage. She stands up and smirks at him, holding a disc in her hand.]
Come on guys. Let's watch one. It'll be a bonding experience.
[She's joking, but she looks at them both dubiously all of a sudden.] Actually, you two should watch it. Together. [She smiles brightly again.] Nothing like a good porn between bros, right?
((ooc: HAH TRICKED YA! The threeway comes waay later xDD It was actually cut for length, as you may have noticed~))
((Welcome to Barney's Crib! Enjoy <3))