JACK NOIR ==> [AUDIO] fifty eight

[hesalreadyhere]

[Today Jack sounds terrible, like he's been, say, feverish and vomiting bacon and peanutbutter for the last hour or so. Suite-34-mates, I hope none of you needed to use the bathroom today.]

Ram. Whisky, bathroom. PleaseSprite-Jade don't fucking eat that bacon, it's some kind of trap

Comments

[whatssaidissaid]

Well.

[Shit eating grin is GO.]

Perhaps I do not need to continue with your lessons, if you give yourself such harsh ones by choice.

[hesalreadyhere]

[fuck you jareth GUESS WHO'S GETTING ANOTHER SURPRISE STABATTACK?????

...okay no that would depend on Jack being coordinated enough to do that. Instead he might notice a broken showerhead randomly appearing in his room, several feet away, and landing on the floor.

When plan A fails he just hisses into the faciliberry.]

[whatssaidissaid]

[Jareth notes the shower head falling with a thud a few feet away, and quirks an eyebrow.

And then laughs.
Like.
A motherfucker.

But not a particularly loud laugh--just a quite, vicious one.

And you're not the only one with powers, chump.

...which would be even more obvious when Jareth snaps his fingers and there's a picture of bacon taped to the tank, right in Jack's face.

There's even a faint smell of bacon in the air!

~Smell-O-Vision~]

[hesalreadyhere]

[MASHING HIS FIST INTO THE KEYS UNTIL HE RAGEQUITS fuck you fuck you fuck you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but this doesnt stop magic baconpaper from appearing

ohgod, it's back for revenge

Instead of reacting like a normal person he groans into his toiletbowl some more and rips the sheet pathetically off the tank before crumpling it awkwardly in one hand.

...but not throwing it out yes because it smells so good

mmmmmmm

(fuck you)]

video

[alma_karma]

You're dying?!

video

[hesalreadyhere]

[CEILING SHOT FROM THE BATHROOM FLOOR! + half a wing and Jack being dramatic]

Just forget about me, kid, it's too fucking late! [huuuurghhk resisting urge to puke mid-sentence]

Guess you can have... fuck, I don't know. I've got some pens with feathers and shit on 'em.

video

[alma_karma]

But you can't die! What happened?!

video

[hesalreadyhere]

Someone poisoned my food. Probably Tightpants.

Kid, I never got to tell you this before, but...

[dramatic cough]

...I don't completely hate you.

[Audio]

[patchworkwisdom]

And thus ends the mighty Jack Noir. Not defeated by any sort of external threat but rather by a stomachache. Truly the mighty have fallen.

[ And yes Jack your acute ears might hear Patchouli opening the door to your suite. ]

I'll collect on the inkwells and then see if I can help purge some of the toxins from your system via magic.

[Audio]

[hesalreadyhere]

Hey, this is serious, okay? Don't be such a bitch about my death.

And you can't have all of them, I might need those.

[Audio]

[patchworkwisdom]

You are not going to die because you ate something that disagrees with your stomach. Stop whining and I'll be over in a second. The ink will be better served in my spells than your pointless doodles.

[Clink. Clink. Totally raiding your ink supply. ]

[Audio]

[hesalreadyhere]

Hey, don't fucking insult my doodles! [YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF HIS AMAZING TALENT

--and then he has to go back to groaning because ohgod his everything whyyyy]

[ecto_biologist]

No... you can't die Jack! This is like, some really shitty part of the film, where the cool mentor dude always gets killed by the EVIL EMPIRE!

You can't die Jack! [HE STILL NEEDS TO BEAT YOU IN A DUEL OK]

[Also he is totally being overdramatic.]

[hesalreadyhere]

Sorry, kid, you're gonna have to... go on without me...

[coughs vom-chunks into toilet]

what is this gloriousness what have you done, jack 1/2

[misakanetwork]

'You look...'

[misakanetwork]

'Sick as a dog,' Misaka finishes with a terrible pun.

[ecto_biologist]

[You'll have to excuse John, this is him giggling like mad.]

Ahahahahah, oh man. Beautiful.

[misakanetwork]

'You really think so?' Misaka questions as she is unsure if it was really all that good.