smother

[a_dead_koala]

rating: ??
pairings: none
wc: 484

kinda cheated on this since it's a rewrite of something i did a longass time ago, but it seemed like something that would fit beanbean. possible trigger warning for anxiety disorder. i promise i'll write something less serious next time.

Comments

[starlight_9095]

I really like this for some reason. Maybe it's the way you describe his feelings, but I really like this.

[a_dead_koala]

ah, i tried to write it following the thought process of someone having an attack. i mean i'm sure everyone experiences it differently but yeah, i feel like something like this is more powerful when you're kinda stuck in their head with them.

thanks for reading!! :v

[ichigocherry]

crying because this is too wonderful

[a_dead_koala]

yee i'm glad you enjoyed it. :v

[ichigocherry]

"despite his whole "lol i'm the artwork" thing has a
tendency to be self-conscious/withdrawn/highly-emotional/broody, although he works hard to control it" THIIIIIS ;n; also the last paragraph - you are sooooo right.

I also think hongbin (now or before) wouldn't be the type that's deep in the anxiety thing but (now refer to your last paragraph) xD;;

I guess feeling this way, plus the mysteriousness in thr fact that we still dont know the full truth in what hongbin is really thinking behind cams makes me stan him ;; the fact that he mentioned his ideal girl to be someone who understands him without him spelling it out or talking with her also adds in the ~mysteriousness~ of it all... like, maybe something like this fic (though not to this extent) or just the brooding/withdrawn part of beanie that he wants her to accept and understands. idk what im talking about urgh stop talking gibberish.

[hiddenmeghanis]

this is really strong.
thanks for sharing <3
i enjoy work that focuses on hongbin being Not Okay with his assigned role as artwork - this puts it into perspective beautifully.

[a_dead_koala]

thanks for reading!! ahahah if left to my own devices i'll trip and fall into the introspective angst pool... OTL

even though i think kong's pretty well adjusted to his visual role, i've never quite gotten over that one instance in mydol where he was devastated because they told him "you're good looking but you can't sing." luckily he gets to sing quite a lot nowadays. :'v

[hiddenmeghanis]

i'm pretty much in love with the idea that hongbin hates how he looks so that's what i tend to write about. it's sad but MEH fiction whatever. i'm sure he's well-adjusted and confident in himself in real life so it's all good.

[montellico]

oh gosh. this was very heartbreaking in the good way because ....hongbin....sad baby....wow. i think the way you wrote it srsly captured the thought process & everything of a panic attack but jfc thinking about hongbin and his insecurities and the way he used to sort of be objectified to the point of personality erasure ... ahh, the feels.
i really liked this, thank you for sharing!

[a_dead_koala]

yee thank you. it was sort of a case of write what you know, so i'm glad it came across realistically.

also ughhh hongbin feelings, yeah... i always feel kind of bad because whenever i start thinking about angsty vixx stuff, i automatically default to him haha. TT^TT

[braviola]

This is so perfect, i can't even...